


Friend of Mine

by amazingmin



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Cheating, Emotional Manipulation, Hurt, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Murder, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possessive Behavior, Stalking, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:55:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 54
Words: 117,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25329637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazingmin/pseuds/amazingmin
Summary: Seungkwan has the perfect lifeThe Perfect BoyfriendA Supportive Best FriendUntil one day he comes home and sees the unthinkable that changes his life forever.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Boo Seungkwan/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 107
Kudos: 167





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a song I heard. Also I'm struggling with another fic I'm writing so yeah lol.
> 
> Also I'm sorry for any grammatical errors and spelling mistakes

If anyone were to ask Boo Seungkwan if he was satisfied with his life, he would definitely say yes.

How could he not be when he is in a happy relationship with his beautiful boyfriend, his soulmate, and his everything. Hansol Vernon Chwe is the best thing that has happened to him in a long time.He loved everything about Vernon- his laugh,his smile,his kind heart. They have been together for five years and in his opinion, it's been the best five years of his life.

“Seungkwan”

“Huh.” Seungkwan is brought out of his daydream by his co-worker Wen Junhui who is calling him.

“I asked if you have those reports from last year.” Jun said.

“Oh, I think so, just give me a minute so I can look.” Seungkwan opened his desk drawer and then the file cabinet rummaged around. 

“Tada here it is.” Seungkwan holding the file in his hand.

“Honestly, Seungkwan you’re a lifesaver. I don’t know what I will do without you.” Jun said, taking the file from him.

“Probably be fired.” Seungkwan jokes. Jun gives his friend a playful shove. “Anyway, why do you need last year’s report?”

Jun rolled his eyes. “Because the boss has been up my ass about this upcoming project and he wants me to look through all of the reports from last year.”

Seungkwan groaned. Of course how could he forget about this so called project their boss keeps going on and on about. According to their boss, it’s not just any ordinary project, “it’s a extremely important project” that could help boost the company’s earnings.

“But think about the extra pay,huh.” Jun said. “Heard from a couple folks in finance that this project is supposed to be for eight weeks with the possibility of a lot of overtime.”

“Sometimes money isn’t everything.” Seungkwan remarked as he turned to type on his computer.

Jun raised his eyebrows. “Says who.”

“Says me.” He said busied typing not looking at his friend.

“Boo Seungkwan”

Both men turned around to see a blonde silver haired man walking towards them.

“Well speak of the devil.” Jun mumbled. Jeon Wonwoo, their boss, is standing right in front of Seungkwan’s cubicle with a serious expression on his face.

“Sir,” Jun gets up from his chair bowed in front of Wonwoo in a dramatic way.

Wonwoo simply rolled his eyes,ignoring the other’s behavior. He turns back to Seungkwan. “I’ve been meaning to ask you if you wanted to be part of the upcoming project. I could use an extra set of hands seeing that you are one of the best employees here.”

“And what am I, chopped liver.” Jun said indignantly.

Again Wonwoo ignores him. “So what do you say, are you up for it?” He gives Seungkwan a pointed look waiting for his answer.

Seungkwan knows this project is going to take up most of his time, he probably would’ve to stay past his working hours. On the other hand, he thinks about the pay and it’s been awhile since he and Hansol have taken a vacation.

“Ok,sure.” Seungkwan finally said. Wonwoo smiled.

“Fantastic, I will email you the details. And you.” He turns his head in Jun’s direction, the smile replaced with a scowl.

“I need those reports on my desk by 2pm. No excuses.No exceptions.” And with that, Wonwoo walks away.

Jun stares at him. “He better be glad he’s cute.” He mumbled.

<>

By the time Seungkwan leaves work it's 7pm. Feeling exhausted, he opens the apartment door seeing that the living room lights are off. Hansol must be asleep already, he thinks. He made his way to the kitchen when he noticed a larger vase of red roses on the counter. His line of sight goes to the table that’s covered in a purple cloth and two candlelights perched on top.

He can feel a pair of hands wrap themselves around his waist.

“Surprise.”

Seungkwan twists around and puts his arms around Hansol’s neck. “What’s all this? Oh my god.” His eyes widened. “Is today a special day that I forgot about.” 

Hansol chuckled. “ No, I just did this just because.”

Seungkwan kisses him. “I really don’t deserve you sometimes.”

“Oh really, I should be saying that about you. I don’t really know how I manage to have an amazing boyfriend. I guess fate brought us together.”

“Or Seokmin dragging me to that club.” Seungkwan jokes.

“That too.”

“Guess what happened at work today.”

“What?”

“My boss asked me if I wanted to be part of an upcoming project and I said yes.”

Hansol beamed kissing his forehead. “Wow, kwannie that’s amazing.”

“So you’re not mad.” Seungkwan said.

“Why would I be mad? If this project is important to you then it’s important to me too. Also I have some amazing news too.”  
“What?”

“I finally put my mixtape on soundcloud.”

“Sollie, that’s terrific news.” Seungkwan knew Hansol wanted to be a rapper, that he had been working on his mixtape for the last couple of years.

“I’ve been getting so many positive comments.”

Seungkwan smiled. “I guess tonight's special for the both of us. I just wished this project wasn’t gonna be for eight weeks. I won’t be home until really late.” He sighed 

“Oh, well I’m sure I can manage being alone.” Hansol said. “Right now let's not worry and just enjoy this wonderful meal….. that I order.” Seungkwan laughed, playfully showing him.

Hansol pulls him back to him. “But first,” He kisses Seungkwan again. “Let’s take a shower.”

Hansol takes his hand and leads him to the bathroom.

“I love you, Hansol Vernon Chwe.”

“I love you too, Boo Seungkwan.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention this in the previous chapter but everyone is aged up.
> 
> 95 line: Early 40's
> 
> 96 line: Late 30's
> 
> 97 line: Early 30's
> 
> Maknae line: late 20's
> 
>   
> Also this chapter is heavily dialogue

“Oh I forgot to mention...Mingyu is going to be in town for a couple of days.” Seungkwan said, sitting down at the kitchen table.

“Really,why?”

Seungkwan shrugs. “He mentioned something about a modeling gig. Y’know he just became the ambassador for Gucci.”

“Interesting.” Kim Mingyu is Seungkwan’s famous model/actor friend. To be honest, Hansol wasn’t a big fan of his. In his opinion, Mingyu is a prime example of someone who became famous for doing the bare minimum because of his wealthy upbringing.

“Yeah.” Seungkwan said,picking up his fork “He said he might stop by here on Saturday.”

“Cool.”

The tone of Hansol’s voice made Seungkwan frown.

“Is there a problem?”

“No, what makes you say that?”

“Your tone.”

“My tone?”

“Yeah, the way you say ‘cool’.”

“I’m sorry is there a certain way I’m supposed to say the word cool.” Hansol scoffed.

“No its just that- nevermind.” Seungkwan didn’t feel like getting into an argument. Besides tonight is a special night for both of them he didn’t want to ruin it with a petty argument. He changes the subject.

“How’s work?”

Hansol shrugged. “You know...same old same old.”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “You work at a radio station. I’m sure it’s not the same thing everyday.”

“I work at a radio station part time.” Hansol corrected him.

Seungkwan let out a small furious sigh. As much as he loved his boyfriend, Hansol can be stubborn sometimes.

<>

“Everyone, I got surprising news.” Wonwoo said to the employees in the conference room. “The project that was originally intended to be for eight weeks has now been reduced to three weeks.”

Seungkwan let out a small breath of relief. Thank God,he thought.

“However,” Wonwoo continued. “That doesn’t mean this project isn’t important because it is and I expect high expectations from all of you.” His eyes scanned everyone in the room. “That’s all for now, you all can get back to work.”

Seungkwan is about to leave with everyone else when he feels a hand on his arm. 

“Hey, Seungkwan.” Wonwoo said. “I can still trust your involvement with this project,right?”

Seungkwan smiled at him. “Of course, sir.”

“Good, because when I said you're one of my most reliable employees I really mean it.” 

Wonwoo patted his back and left the room.

<>

“What was that about?” Jun asked, looking over his computer at him.

“He’s just wanted to know about my involvement in the project because apparently I’m one of top employees here.” Seungkwan bemused.

“He never told me that.” Jun pouted.

“Maybe if you came to work on time everyday he would.” Seungkwan ducked just in time avoiding the pencil Jun threw at him.

“Anyway, Mr. Next Employee of the Month where we going for lunch?”

“There’s a Thai Restaurant that just opened up around the corner.” Seungkwan suggested. “Heard the food there is pretty good.”

Before the men leave for their destination, Seungkwan’s cell phone rings; the phone number on the display screen causes him to frown.

“What’s wrong?” Jun asked curiously, looking at the other’s facial expression.

“Um...it’s nothing.” Seungkwan stumbled. “Actually I gotta be somewhere….family business but you can still go to the restaurant if you want.”

“Ok,I’ll bring you something back.” Jun called out to his friend who was already in his car.

Seungkwan waved from the car window to acknowledge he heard him.

<>

“I thought you said this was important.” Seungkwan said with his arms folded, clearly annoyed.

“It is.” Seungcheol pointed out, gesturing his head for Seungkwan to sit down.

Seungkwan sighed as he sat in the booth across from Seungcheol. Choi Seungcheol is Seungkwan’s step brother. Him and Seungcheol didn’t have the best sibling relationship mostly because Seungkwan disapproved of Seungcheol's life choices. While Seungcheol deemed himself as a “rising entrepreneur”, Seungkwan saw him for what he really was- a criminal. Seungcheol steals from businesses and sells the stolen purchases on the streets for higher value; if that wasn’t enough, he also sold drugs on street corners and probably did more suspicious things Seungkwan is unaware of.

“Well can you please hurry up and get to your point so I can leave.” Seungkwan said impatiently. He desperately wanted to leave this poorly lit bar, the smell of cheap liquor and cigarette smoke irritated his nostrils. He hated coming to this part of town, everything and everyone were so shady.

“Why are so anxious to leave? We barely spend time together and when we do you always look annoyed.” Seungcheol leaned his arms against the table. He had on a black shirt, sleeves rolled up to reveal tattoos inked on both of arms; he also had tattoos on his neck and multiple ear piercings. To most people Seungcheol might look “rebellious, cool and edgy” but Seungkwan knew otherwise.

“Maybe because you engage in illegal activity and god knows what else.” Seungkwan hissed as if stating the oblivious.

Seungcheol rolled his eyes. “You act like I’m involved in some mafia shit. Anyways, remember-”

“Cheollie”

A long red haired man comes running ( more like bouncing) over to their booth, perched himself right into Seungcheol’s lap. He ran his hand through the other’s hair. 

“I missed you.” He purred, running his other hand over Seungcheol’s chest.

“How? It’s only been 2 minutes since we last saw each other.” Seungcheol stated,booping the other man’s nose.

“I know, but every minute you’re not in my arms makes me sad.” The red haired man whined and caressed Seungcheol’s right cheek. 

Seungkwan cleared his throat to make the two men aware he was sitting right there. 

“Jeonghan, behavior.” Seungcheol said lightly, playful swatting Jeonghan’s hand away from his face. “We have company.”

Jeonghan turns around and looks at Seungkwan as if he just realized he was sitting there. “Kwannie, what are you doing here.” He said happily.

Seungkwan clearly irked at someone he barely knew using the nickname only his friends and boyfriend called him. “Seungcheol told me to come here, which he was going to explain why but then you interrupted.”

“Oh,sorry.” Jeonghan said (clearly not sounded sorry). He leaned his head against Seungcheol’s chest. Jeonghan was wearing a red v neck shirt that showed the angel wings tattooed on his chest. Just like Seungcheol, he had tattoos on his neck and arms;a fang earring dangling from his left ear and multiple rings graced his hands.

“Like I was saying.” Seungcheol began, ruffling Jeonghan’s hair. “Ma boy Kwon Soonyoung is getting out of prison soon and he’s gonna need a job.”

Seungkwan rolled eyes. “Unless this friend has a accounting degree, sorry I can’t help.”

“Ain’t no one talking about your job.” Seungcheol interjected. “Your boyfriend still works at that radio station, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think you can talk to him about getting Soonyoung a job there?”

“I could try. Is that it?”

“Yeah.” Seungcheol declared, taking a slip of his drink.

“Seriously, you made me drive all this way just to tell me something you could’ve told me on the phone.” Seungkwan fumed.

“I told you before..we’re brothers and we need to spend more time together.” Seungcheol acknowledged, rubbing his lover’s back.

“Step Brothers.” Seungkwan corrected him. “We’re step brothers.”

“Whatever.” The other turned his attention back to the man on his lap. They looked at each other with intense passionate heat in their eyes. Sometimes he’s so confused about Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s relationship; he always thought they were kind of toxic for each other. Well if it works for them who is he to judge, it’s none of my business anyway, Seungkwan thought.

The annoyance Seungkwan felt earlier comes back. He can’t believe he wasted his entire lunch break. He was about to leave the bar when Seungcheol called back.

“Speaking of Hansol, is everything good between you two?”

Seungkwan turns back around looking at his stepbrother.

“Yeah.” He replied. “Everything’s good.

<>

Saturday finally came and needless to say, Seungkwan was excited.

“Are you sure he’s still coming?”

“Yeah.” Seungkwan replied, fixing his hair in the mirror. “Why wouldn’t he?” 

“Did he say what time he would be here?”

“No, you know how unpredictable Mingyu can be.” 

“Yeah and it’s annoying.” Hansol grumbled, taking a slip of his coffee. His biggest pet peeve is people who aren’t organized. “Also why are you wearing that?” He eyed Seungkwan suspiciously.

“What do you mean?” Seungkwan looking down at his outfit. A pale pink collar shirt and white pants. “What’s wrong with it?”

Hansol shrugged. “Nothing, it’s just you usually wear that outfit on special occasions.”

“Mingyu visiting is a special occasion, we haven’t seen each in ages plus if anyone is to judge wardrobe …” Seungkwan trailed off looking at Hansol’s outfit: a multicolored shirt with brown shorts and yellow beanie on his head.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” The other said defensively.

“We’re going to a restaurant.”

“So?”

“A _upscale _restaurant.” Seungkwan emphasized.__

__“Again, so?_ _

__Seungkwan sighed. He can feel an argument coming and today is definitely the day he didn’t want that to happen. “Listen can we just drop this whole topic.”_ _

__“You’re the one who came for my outfit.” Hansol said,crossing his arms_ _

__

__Seriously_ _

__

__Seungkwan put his hands on his hips. “You came for mine’s first and since we are still on this subject, maybe you should try putting some more effort on what you wear.”_ _

__“I thought you liked this shirt?”_ _

__“I do.”_ _

__“So what’s the problem?”_ _

__Seungkwan threw his hands in the air, getting more frustrated. “There’s isn’t a problem. You’re the one who thinks there’s a problem,not me.”_ _

__Before Hansol could retort, there’s a knock at the door._ _

__“That’s him. Let’s just drop this and try to have a fun and relaxing weekend.” Seungkwan said, arms wrapped around his boyfriend’s neck._ _

__“Yeah,” Hansol replied, still slightly annoyed._ _

__Seungkwan gives him a peck on the lips before opening the door._ _

__

__Hansol could think of a lot of words to describe this weekend and _fun _wasn’t one of them.___ _


	3. Chapter 3

“Kwannie.” Mingyu exclaimed in his deep voice crushing his friend into a tight bear hug. “It’s been so long, look at you.”

Seungkwan beamed at his friend. “Look at me, look at you.” Mingyu definitely looked different since the last time he saw him. He was more tanned and toned,wearing a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a watch on his right wrist that looked like it cost more than the apartment complex they lived in and white slacks.

Hansol stood a little far back, watching the friends reunited. He remembered the first time he met Mingyu and even back then he knew he wouldn’t like him.

****June 15, 2016****

_Hansol is fidgeting with his right sleeve not sure why he’s so nervous. He’s just meeting a friend of Seungkwan’s._

_Who happens to be rich._

_“Will you stop doing that.” Seungkwan hissed, grabbing his right hand._

_“What else am I supposed to do?”_

_“Um I don’t know..how about acting normal.”_

_Him and Seungkwan are in an elevator on the way up to Mingyu’s penthouse. Mingyu is hosting an after party for the release of his film debut The elevator door opens up to a large room filled with people, a pop song is playing loudly in the background and there’s a bar on the right side._

_“KWANNIE” a voice yelled behind them. Both men turned to see Mingyu strided towards them. He had a woman in a low cut dress with a plunging neckline that exposed mostly her cleavage clinging from his left arm while a man with spiky silver hair wearing a sheer tank top and tight black pants was clinging to the other._

_“I’m so glad you made it.” Mingyu beamed._

_“Wouldn’t miss this for the world.” Seungkwan grinned. “Also.” He pulled Hansol forward by their still entwined hands. “This is my amazing boyfriend, Hansol Vernon Chwe.”_

_Mingyu’s eyes widened in Hansol’s direction. “So I’m finally meeting thee Hansol that my best friend keeps babbling on about. I would shake your hand but as you can see my arms are quite full.” He nuzzled his nose in the woman’s neck, she giggled playfully pushing his head away. “Do you two mind,it won’t take long.” He said to his arms companions. They both nodded._

_He tapped the woman’s rear end who giggled again._

_“Anyway.” Mingyu turned his attention back to Seungkwan and Hansol. “Did you guys like the movie?”_

_“It was astounding.” Seungkwan remarked. “Especially the ending. I'm still speechless. How about you, Hansol?”_

_Honestly, Hansol thought the movie was the worst film he has ever seen but of course he wasn’t going to vocally say that. “It was cool.”_

_“Really.” Mingyu titled his head in an almost puppy like way. “What was your favorite screen?”_

_Shit._

_“Well um that part when you saved that woman from the fire.”_

_The actor’s eyes widened even more as if Hansol just told him the most interesting fact in the world. “Really!!! Because that’s my favorite scene too.” He flung his left arm over Hansol's shoulder,much to his displeasure. “Kwannie I know it’s too early to be saying but this one is definitely a keeper.” He ruffled a annoyed Hansol’s hair._

_“As much as I want to stay here and chat with you guys. I have quick business to intend to.” Mingyu said, looking over at his ‘acquaintances’ who were waiting for him. “I’ll be right back.”_

_Hansol glared as the three headed into a room(probably Mingyu’s bedroom)._

_“Seriously, he’s ditching his own party to have a threesome.” Hansol said in disbelief.  
Seungkwan shrugged, grabbing two glasses from a passing waiter. “He says he’s coming right back. As for now, let’s just enjoy ourselves.”_

_Hansol somehow found himself sitting at the bar alone while Seungkwan was chatting with some partygoers. He’s silently watching everyone here; young people getting drunk wasting all their money.Wearing expensive clothes with gleeful looks on their faces._

_In other words, Hansol didn’t belong here. This wasn’t his type of scene.He hated people like this. He would rather be at home working on his mixtape than be surrounded by shallow people. But he’s here because he loves Seungkwan._

_Even though he would do anything to make his boyfriend happy, he needed to get out of here. There were too many people, the air filled with alcohol and different perfumes and cheap colognes. He’s trying to relax but he’s feeling suffocated. He drowns his drink ( the third he has so far) and gets off the barstool walking towards Seungkwan._

_Hansol stands behind him and leans in his ear so the two people Seungkwan is talking to won’t hear. “Hey, since you already congratulated Mingyu, do you think we can leave now?”_

_Seungkwan turns around and gives him a bewildered look. “Leave? We just got here. Oh my god, Sollie.” He suddenly grabbed Hansol’s arm and clutching it as if his life depended on it. “Look, do you know who they are.” He points to a beautiful woman with sleek long black hair wearing a navy blue dress talking to a handsome man who had his gelled hair parted in the middle wearing a simple black suit._

_“Um-”_

_“It’s Kim Hyewon and Jeon Daehyun.” Seungkwan exclaimed jubilantly. “They’re even more beautiful in person.”_

_“Oh.” Was all Hansol could say._

_Hansol turns his head and sees a flustered Mingyu emerging from his bedroom in a different outfit. His two lovers come out after him; the woman’s shoulder straps on her dress are barely hanging on and the man’s sheer tank top is inside out. They both quietly slipped back into the crowd._

_Mingyu gets on top of a table with a glass of champagne, he taps the glass with a spoon to get everyone’s attention. “ I just wanna say, tonight is not only a special for me, but for everyone involved in Shadow’s Pond soon to be a successful hit. My beautiful and supportive castmates and mostly to the man who gave me,a little unknown actor, a chance to prove himself. Thank you for not giving up on me, Park Jaejin.” He raises his glass towards the direction of a short rounded man wearing a red baseball cap. “And here’s a toast to all of us, I love you guys.”_

_Everyone raises their glass, the room erupts into applause. Mingyu jumps off the table and is soon surrounded by people praising him._

_“Mingyu.” The lady in the navy blue dress( Hansol has already forgotten her name) sauntered towards him. “Are we still going to The Bluelight Room?”_

_Mingyu playful rolled his eyes at her. “Duh, of course. Let’s go.”_

_Before Hansol and Seungkwan can join the large group headed to the elevator, they are stopped by a large bulky man wearing a tight black shirt and black pants._

_“Sorry only the cast allowed.” He said curtly. Hansol looks over Muscle’s shoulders and sees Mingyu’s “two friends” among the group and he’s 100 % positive they’re weren’t part of the movie._

_Mingyu strides over to see what’s going on. “Sorry, Kwannie but this is exclusive only, a little get together party just for the cast, you understand right,?”_

_Hansol can see the slight hurt in Seungkwan’s face._

_“Yeah, it's okay.” Seungkwan replied plastered a smile on his face. “This is your night, you should enjoy yourself with your co-workers.”_

_“I’m so so so sorry.” Mingyu apologized, walking back towards the people in the elevator. “I promise I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”_

_Once the elevator door closes, the smile on Seungkwan’s face drops. Hansol sees the room is slightly less crowded._

_“Do you still wanna stay?_

_Seungkwan sighed. “No, let’s go home." ___

__***_ _

__

__“Hansol did I mention how much I love your outfit.” Mingyu remarked. “It’s like rundown New York City chic.”_ _

__“Um,thanks.” Hansol wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing._ _

__They decided to go to Pearl's, an elegant restaurant in the richest section of Seoul for breakfast. Everything inside this place looked fancy and Hansol hated it._ _

__“Hansol, aren’t you going to tell Gyu your exciting news.” Seungkwan is nudging him._ _

__“Huh? Oh yeah uh-”_ _

__“Sollie finally put his mixtape on Soundcloud.” Seungkwan interrupted grabbing his hand from across the table._ _

__“Oh.” Mingyu said. “I’m so happy for you. How long did it take you again to finally do it like 5,000 years anyways at least your side project is out there.”_ _

__Hansol can feel his blood boiling. _Side Project _. He pours himself a glass of mimosa. Only being in the presence of Kim Mingyu can bring out the drinking in him.___ _

____“Oh my god, guess what.” Mingyu suddenly exclaimed._ _ _ _

____“What?” Seungkwan asked curiously._ _ _ _

____“Guess”_ _ _ _

____“Can’t you just tell.”_ _ _ _

____“No”_ _ _ _

____“Why?”_ _ _ _

____“Because you’ve to guess.”_ _ _ _

____“Why?”_ _ _ _

____“Guess.”_ _ _ _

____“Why”_ _ _ _

____“Gu-”_ _ _ _

____“Would you just fucking tell us already.” Hansol snapped, his annoyance kicked in high gear and it’s not even 10 am yet._ _ _ _

____“Alright.” Mingyu said, clearly oblivious to Hansol’s irritation. “Guess who's dating…. Jennie and Kai._ _ _ _

____“What.” Seungkwan squealed loudly. “Are you serious.”_ _ _ _

____“Yeahhh.” Mingyu replied doing that thing when he stretched out a word( another thing Hansol hated). “They’re both on the Gucci campaign and let me just tell you they’ve been extremely flirtatious for the last couple of months. Literally everyone has been waiting for them to get together.”_ _ _ _

____“Wow.”_ _ _ _

____“And you would not believe who I met….Ariana Grande.”_ _ _ _

____“WHAT!” Seungkwan’s eyes look like they're going to pop out. “WHEN.”_ _ _ _

____“Weeks ago, she’s such a sweetheart.”_ _ _ _

____“You’re so lucky.” Seungkwan said gloomily. “You get to meet so many famous people all the time.”_ _ _ _

____Both men start rambling about the latest celebrity gossip and music._ _ _ _

____At this point, Hansol is already on his fifth mimosa._ _ _ _

____ _ _

<>

____The rest of the day consist of Seungkwan and Mingyu hitting up every high end retail store ( Hansol simply brought a new beanie), the day ended with them going to an expensive restaurant (Hansol ordered the most expensive steak and wine, Mingyu did say he was paying). By the time Hansol and Seungkwan bidded Mingyu farewell it was almost 10pm._ _ _ _

____“Today was a nice day, don’t you think?” Seungkwan remarked rubbing lotion on his hands._ _ _ _

____“Hm.” Hansol busied taking off his shoes from the other side of the bed. “It was fine.” He thought by not looking at his boyfriend, he wouldn’t see the annoyed expression he still had on his face._ _ _ _

____Unfortunately, Seungkwan could tell something was wrong. “Are you alright?”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah.” Hansol replied, still not looking at him. “ What makes you say that?”_ _ _ _

____“Well you doing that thing when you clearly bother about something and you don’t make eye contact.”_ _ _ _

____Why do I always forget about his observant behavior skills, Hansol thought._ _ _ _

____“Ok I'm not fine.” He turns to look at Seungkwan._ _ _ _

____“Why?”_ _ _ _

____“Because of Mingyu.”_ _ _ _

____The other crosses his arms, eyebrows raised. “Mingyu? What did he do.”_ _ _ _

____“It's not what he did, it’s what he said.”_ _ _ _

____“Okay what did he say.”_ _ _ _

____“He called my mixtape a side project.” Hansol felt his anger reaching a tipping point. “Music is my dream, my ambition not some fucking after school activity.”_ _ _ _

____Seungkwan gives him a look. “Unbelievable.” He mumbled heading to the bathroom._ _ _ _

____“What’s unbelievable?” Hansol follows him to the bathroom._ _ _ _

____“You.” The other rounded on him. “Why do you always find problems”_ _ _ _

____“Why’re you defending him” Hansol countered._ _ _ _

____“I’M NOT” Seungkwan yelled, slamming the medicine cabinet shut. “I’m just trying to understand what do you’ve against him.”_ _ _ _

____“EVERYTHING” Hansol shouted back, the anger he’s been holding in all day unleashed. “He thinks he’s better than me because he’s fucking rich and he always never misses the opportunity to flaunt his money in my face. How can you even be friends with someone like that.”_ _ _ _

____Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “You do realize I’m the heir to a pharmaceutical company. So what does that make me.” He walks past his boyfriend._ _ _ _

____“You’re a different kind of rich.”_ _ _ _

____“A Different kind of rich.” Seungkwan repeated. “Didn’t realize there were different categories of being rich.” He added sarcastically._ _ _ _

____“Well is it.”_ _ _ _

____“Listen, Sollie.” Seungkwan sighed, putting his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “You’re my boyfriend and Mingyu is my best friend and I love the both of you. Why don’t you give Mingyu a chance and maybe you realize he’s not as bad as you think he is.”_ _ _ _

____Hansol stared into his boyfriend’s face, seeing the plea in his eyes._ _ _ _

____“Fine, but if he starts to get annoying like mentioning some dumb shit like how many awards he won. I’m out.”_ _ _ _

____Seungkwan snorted giving him a kiss. “You just need to spend more time with Mingyu and you’ll realize how a wonderful person he is. Now let’s get some sleep.”_ _ _ _

____Hansol let out a heavy sigh._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Spending time with Kim Mingyu._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____If that was easier done than said._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean to make this chapter this long lol


	4. Chapter 4

“What are we even doing today?”

“Mingyu rented a yacht for the whole day.” Seungkwan replied, grabbing a mug from the cupboard.

Of course he would rent a yacht, Hansol thought bitterly. He was praying for some miracle to happen. Anything to keep him from having to spend another day with Mingyu.

And a miracle he received.

Hansol’s phone started to vibrate. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me, Jihoon. I was wondering if you can come into the station today to cover Bumsoo’s shift, he called about a medical emergency involving his kid. It’s okay if you already got-”

“No,no it’s cool.” Hansol said hurriedly. “I can be there in 20 minutes.” He hung his phone. He can literally feel his insides doing the tango.

“Who was that?” Seungkwan asked.

“Jihoon, he needs me to fill in for someone.” Hansol replied coolly, trying to contain his happiness.

“Oh, that sucks because I was looking forward to the three of us spending the whole day together.” Seungkwan pouted.

Hansol gives him a quick kiss on the lips. “I’m sure you and Mingyu are gonna have lots of fun without me.”

Seungkwan sighed. “I guess, oh yeah I forgot to mention, Seungcheol says a friend of his is getting out of prison soon. What’s his name again..Soon...Soon… oh Soonyoung right and he was wondering if you can get him a job at the station.”

“Yeah,yeah ok sure.” Hansol waved a dismissive hand over his shoulder.

<>

“How many times do I have to tell you..” Hansol arrives at the radio station and can hear Jihoon talking on the phone to someone. “I don’t care if he calls 800 times a day I’m not accepting them,when I said I was done with him 5 months ago, I fucking meant it.”

Hansol walks into the room,putting his bag on an empty seat. Jihoon turns around and mumbles “bye” to the person on the other line before hanging up.

“Everything good?” Hansol asked him.

“Yeah,” Jihoon replied with his back turned from the latter, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “It’s my uncle, he keeps nagging me to invest in his stupid bait shop in Busan. A dumb idea in my opinion.”

Hansol knew Jihoon was probably lying.But he knew better than to pressure his friend to tell the truth.

“Thanks for coming, I know this is short notice.”

“I should be thanking you, you literally saved me from being struck- I mean spending all day with Seungkwan’s annoying ass rich friend.”

Jihoon let out an amusement chucke. “I guess you’re not a fan of his. He must be terrible.”

“Truly.”

“I got some good news though.” Jihoon is rummaging inside his desk. “Guess who got four tickets for the Bruno Mars concert this upcoming Tuesday.” He points two thumbs at himself. “This guy.”

“Holy shit.Really?”

“Yep, me, you,Seokmin and Seungkwan plus the tickets are front row.”

Hansol feels the excitement inside him starting to fade away. “Shit you say this Tuesday. Seungkwan got a project at his job that’s gonna make him stay real late so obviously he can’t go.”

“You can’t think of everyone else?”

Hansol can feel the inside of his mouth go bitter but he kept remembering Seungkwan’s words from last night: 

_“You just need to spend more time with Mingyu and you’ll realize how a wonderful person he is.“ ___

____

____

“Yeah, I know someone.”

____

<>

____

____

“Kwannie can I ask you something?”

____

Seungkwan and Mingyu are both standing on the patio of the yacht that’s currently out in the middle of the ocean.The ocean is perfectly blue and the weather is cool and sunny. Perfect yacht weather.

____

“Sure.”

____

“Does Hansol hate me?”

____

Seungkwan almost choked on his drink. “Huh?”

____

“I say does-”

____

“I heard you. Why would you even ask something ridiculous like that.”

____

Mingyu sighed. “Because he looks at me like I’m the most disgusting human being on Earth.”

____

“Don’t be silly, sometimes he can be a little..introvert but trust me when I say he doesn’t hate you.” Seungkwan is partially telling the truth.

____

“But yesterday at breakfast I was getting negative vibes from him.”

____

The other rolled his eyes. “Negative vibes? What are you, a psychic? Honestly you just need to know Hansol a little better and you would realize he’s a terrific guy besides why else would I be dating him.”

____

“But suppose he doesn’t want to spend time with me.”

____

“I’m sure he does.” Seungkwan decides it’s time to change the subject. “Speaking of dating...are you still dating that hot choreographer Kim Yugyeom.”

____

“No we broke up weeks ago.”

____

“Oh, Gyu.” Seungkwan consoled, putting his head on his tall friend’s shoulder. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

____

“I’m not really sad to be honest I mean we both knew the relationship wouldn’t last forever besides.” Mingyu leans his head so that it’s on top of Seungkwan’s. “I need that Verkwan love.”

____

Seungkwan groaned. “Did you really use a ship name for us.”

____

“Yes I did and do I dare say you two are endgame too.”

____

Seungkwan used his shoulder to push Mingyu’s head off him. “Ugh Sollie is right.. Why am I even friends with you.” He runs off.

____

“Hey.” Mingyu shouted, chasing after a laughing Seungkwan.

____

__< >_ _

____

Hansol is sitting at the kitchen counter with a half empty glass of vodka in his hand. He hasn’t been this nervous since he asked Seungkwan out for the first time.

____

____

** **February 13, 2015** **

____

_“Would you fucking stop doing that it’s getting annoying.” Jihoon grumbled from the couch where he’s flipping through channels._

____

_“What do you mean?”_

____

_“You know what.”_

____

_Hansol is pacing back and forth in the living room with a glass of rum in his hand which he’s been doing for the past 10 minutes. In other words, he’s a nervous wreck. How can he not be when he’s currently having a mini breakdown about asking the guy’s he’s been crushing on for literally two months to go out with him. Suppose he says no? How would he even handle the rejection. Hansol can feel his insides churned; he drowns his glass and pours another one._

____

_“Why are you even freaking out. You asking him to go to a stupid Valentine’s Day Festival its not like you asking him to marry you or something.” Jihoon said, still looking at the TV._

____

_“It’s not that simple.”_

____

_“Yes it is. You ask him, you wait for his answer and then you leave.” The other said simply._

____

_Hansol rolled his eyes. “Not everyone can do things ‘The Lee Jihoon Way’_

____

_Jihoon shrugged. “Maybe if people did, this world be a better place”_

____

_“Or maybe if you were in a relationship, you wouldn’t be so bitter.” Hansol ducked to avoid the flying pillow._

____

_“How you know I’m not seeing someone.”_

____

_Hansol snorted. “Yeah, right.” When there was silence, his eyes widened. “Hold up, you serious.”_

____

_“I mean we’ve been seeing each for a couple of weeks and we are still not in the long walks in the park stage yet. We just vibin I guess.” Jihoon stated._

____

_“Is vibin code for fuckin.” Hansol smirked. “Ow.” Jihoon flicked his forehead._

____

_“Okay what’s their name then?”_

____

_“His name is none of your business.”_

____

_“His?”_

____

_“Yes.”_

____

_“Okay what’s his name?”_

____

_“Again, none of your business.”_

____

_“C’mon hyung.” Hansol whined. “We’re roommates, we're supposed to tell each other everything. You know everything about Seungkwan.”_

____

_Jihoon folded his arms. “Funny because I don’t remember that being in the lease also you’re the one who keeps babbling about little every fact about your crush who you suppose to be asking out, remember.”_

____

_“Oh, right.” Hansol almost forgot his dreading task at hand. He was about to pour another friend when Jihoon snatches the bottle._

____

_“Seriously dude at some point you gotta control your alcohol intake, you're drinking this shit like it’s water. Just relax, you got this, it's simple.” He’s already pushing Hansol out of the door._

____

_“Yeah.” Hansol got this. He can do this._

____

_I just need confidence in myself, Hansol kept repeating in his head._

____

____

_And a drink. ___

____

__***_ _

____

__

____

__The door opens up and Seungkwan and Mingyu walk in with arms full of bags and chatting animatedly._ _

____

__Hansol gulps the vodka down. Here goes nothing._ _

____

__“Sollie, I brought home leftovers from a Italian restaurant.” Seungkwan sang. “You should’ve seen the inside of the place, it's so cute. We totally need to go there one day.”_ _

____

__“Uh yeah.” Hansol runs a hand through his hair in the process of pouring another drink. He needs to do this before he chickens out. “Hey, Mingyu, can I ask you something?_ _

____

__Mingyu whips his head around looking like a deer caught in headlights. “Um, yeah sure.”_ _

____

__“MyfriendofminegotfourticketstoseeBrunoMarsandIwaswonderingifyoutogo.”_ _

____

__“Um can you repeat that again, I didn’t quite understand you.”_ _

____

__Hansol takes a deep breath. “I say a friend of mine got four tickets to see Bruno Mars this Tuesday night and since Seungkwan can't go because of work I was wondering if..y’know.”_ _

____

__Mingyu’s eyes widened. “Are you asking me to go?”_ _

____

___Please say you ‘re busy. Please say you can't go. Please say-_ __

____

__

____

__“Of course I can go.” The actor grinned._ _

____

__

____

__Damn_ _

____

__

____

__“Oh my god.” Seungkwan squeaked, standing watching the interaction. “My best boyfriend and my best friend are finally spending some time together. This is momentum.”_ _

____

__

____

__Mingyu chuckled. “Don’t you think you're being overdramatic.” Hansol silently agreed._ _

____

__

____

__“No.” Seungkwan pouted. “Now shut up and let me have this moment.Since we brought all these clothes, we gotta pick out your concert fit.” He drags Mingyu to the bedroom before the other could say anything._ _

____

__

____

__Hansol sighs( something he’s definitely been doing a lot lately) before chugging his drink down and pouring his third one. He stared at the contents in the glass secretly wishing there was a way he could drown himself in the contents to prevent having to spend a whole day with the most annoying person in the world._ _

____

__

____


	5. Chapter 5

“Okay how about this one..I thought happiness starts with h but now I realized it begins with u.”

“Jun I swear-”

“C’mon you gotta admit that was a good one though.” 

“I agree.” Mark Lee, a co worker, chuckled watching from his desk.

Seungkwan groaned. “No it isn’t and please don’t encourage his stupidity.”

“Hey.” Jun said, scrolling through his phone. “It’s not stupid and trust me one of these pickup lines are gonna work. Okay how about-”

“How about,” Seungkwan interjected. “You focus on tracking those financial records instead of trying to find ways to get into Wonwoo’s pants.”

“I agree with Seungkwan.” A voice said behind him. Wonwoo is standing in the doorway with an amusement look on his face. “Also pickup lines are such a cliche.”

Seungkwan almost laughed at the small blush that appeared on Jun’s face.

“Um yeah totally agree I mean pickup lines are so updated.” Jun mumbled, shoving his phone back in his pockets.

It’s almost 7pm and Seungkwan can see the night sky starting to crept up from the office window. It’s only been Day 1 of the three week project and he’s already tired. He stretches his arms over his head after long hours of typing and researching.

“By the way, Seungkwan, do you have those Cheleton’s files?” Wonwoo asked

“Yeah, I even took the time to color code all the important parts and put divided tabs on important dates.” Seungkwan replied,handing ten file folders to his boss.

Wonwoo looked at him with a relieved look on his face. “Honestly, what would I do without you, you’re literally a lifesaver. If you keep up doing a good job I see a promotion in your future.” He gives Seungkwan a quick pat on the shoulder before going back to his office.

Seungkwan turns back to his computer but notices the glares from his two co-workers.

“What?”

Jun is giving him a puzzled look. “You didn’t really don’t know what just happened?”

“Know what?”

Mark shakes his head in disbelief. “Honestly, you can be so dense sometimes. It’s obvious as day that he likes you.”

“Who? Wonwoo?” Seungkwan said, giving all his attention to the other. “That’s utterly nonsense.”

“Now that I think about it, he never calls you by your surname like the rest of us.” Jun chimed in.

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Oh so because he calls me by my first name that automatically means he got a crush on me. Wow such compelling evidence.”

Mark smirked. “Or maybe he’s just trying to get into your pants.”

“Can you two just shut the hell and let’s get back to work.” Seungkwan ignored the snickers and the small heat he felt on the back of his neck.

<>

“I still can’t believe you got front row tickets.” Seokmin said enthusiastically. The three men are lined up outside of the concert venue.

“It wasn't easy to get, but I did manage at the end. Anyways where’s Mingyu?” Jihoon said looking at the time on his phone. “Didn’t you say he was gonna be here by 7?”

Hansol shrugged. “That’s what he said. Maybe he’s running late.” He was silently hoping that Mingyu changed his mind and decided not to come. But much to his displeasure, he can see Mingyu’s long legs walking (mostly running) towards them. He’s wearing a short red shirt that showed off his well toned arms and tight black pants with combat boots.

“Sorry I’m late. I had some business that I needed to take care of.” Mingyu said in a slight rush tone. 

“It’s cool.” Hansol replied in an emotionless tone. “At least you’re here now.” _Too bad I don’t want you here. _“These are my friends, Lee Jihoon and Lee Seokmin.”__

____

____

Seokmin’s eyes widen. “Wasn’t you in that movie ‘Strange Adventure at Washington High’.”

____

____

“Yes, I was.” Mingyu smiled at him.

____

____

Jihoon chortled. “That movie was awful.” Sometimes Hansol hated his friend’s brutal honest opinions.

____

____

“Jihoon.” He said warningly.

____

____

“You said the movie was horrible yourself.”

____

____

“I didn’t-”

____

____

Mingyu interrupted. “No, it’s okay I agree. I didn’t even want to do the movie but my manager kept nagging me to take the role because I needed to expand my horizon beyond just doing dramas.”

____

____

Well too bad you’re not good at doing those too,Hansol thought. 

____

____

Mingyu runs a hand through his hair. “Sooo what time does the concert again?”

____

____

“8:00 pm.” Jihoon replied. “We thought you changed your mind at the last minute which would’ve sucked considering the fact Seokmin had a hard time finding a babysitter.”

____

____

“Babysitter? You’ve got kids?” Mingyu asked, eyes widened

____

____

“Yeah.” Seokmin replied. “Just one, a five year old and he's quite a handful.” He chucked.

____

____

“Is the mother still around, do you mind me asking?”

____

____

“Nah, me and his mother broke up a couple of years due to personal reasons but just because we’re not together anymore doesn’t we still don’t care about each other and we both definitely love our son it’s just that sometimes y’know relationships don’t work out.”

____

____

“I heard that.” Jihoon mumbled.

____

____

Mingyu turned to the other. “Oh, are you in a relationship?”

____

____

Jihoon shrugged. “I was but then I found out the guy I was dating was an asshole who didn’t give a shit about me.”

____

____

“Sorry to hear that.” Mingyu said.

____

____

Jihoon waved a dismissive hand. “Nah you don’t have to apologize anyways nothing else matters at the moment except the fact we’re seeing Bruno Mars soon.”

____

____

Mingyu’s eyes popped open excitedly. “Ooo I almost forgot to mention I remember when I met Bruno I mean technically it wasn’t face to face but we were at the same party and-”

____

____

“Look, the line is moving.” Hansol interrupted abruptly. The last thing he wanted to hear is Mingyu gloating about his celebrity run-ins.

____

__< >_ _

____

“I swear he looked at me.”

____

____

“C’mon honnie don’t you think exaggerating a bit.”

____

____

“During Uptown Funk,he pointed a finger at our section, at me.” 

____

____

Seokmin rolled his eyes. “Sure he did or maybe you’re just being delusional .”

____

____

“I’m not. Mingyu, you believe me don’t you.” Jihoon rounded on the other. The four men decided to head to a nearby diner after the concert.

____

____

“Uh, I think he may have glanced at you.” Mingyu said sheepishly, stirring his cola.

____

____

“You hear that,he glanced.”

____

____

‘There’s literally a difference between _glance_ and _point_ .” Seokmin pointed out.

____

____

While Jihoon and Seokmin were arguing, Hansol couldn’t help but think about tonight and how he actually had fun while in the presence in Mingyu of all people. He couldn’t help but remember the way the tall man was jumping around excitedly to every Bruno Mars like a playful child- he actually found it to be cute. At some point he and Mingyu both sang loudly with their arms around each other. He never thought in a million years he could possibly tolerate Kim Mingyu even having a good time around him.

____

____

And he didn’t even need to drink.

____

____

“Crap it’s almost 12 am.” Seokmin said looking at his phone. “I told the babysitter I was going to be back by 11:30pm.”

____

____

“I could give you a ride back. I'm heading in that direction anyway.” Jihoon suggested.

____

____

After the two men bidded Hansol and Mingyu farewell, there was an awkward moment of silence before Mingyu finally spoke up.

____

____

“So...did you have fun?” He asked.

____

____

Hansol rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean yeah I guess. It was cool.”

____

____

“You don’t have to be vague, I can tell you had fun the way you were singing along to every song.”

____

____

Hansol chortled. “Look who’s talking, you were jumping around like a maniac.”

____

____

Mingyu laughed. “Fair point but I really had fun tonight. Your friends are awesome and so are you.”

____

____

Hansol smiled. “You kind of a cool guy too.”

____

____

“We should- is everything ok?” Mingyu said, eyebrows furrowed.

____

____

“Yeah why you ask.”

____

____

“Because your left hand is shaking.” Mingyu stared at Hansol’s visibly shaken hand.

____

____

“Huh? Oh must be post concert jitters.” Hansol replied by shaking the feeling from his hand that he didn’t notice. “What were you about to say?”

____

____

“Oh right, what I was about to say is that tonight made me realize we should hang out more I mean if you want to. If you don’t want to, that’s okay I’ll understand.”

____

Hansol thought for a moment. Any other time, he would’ve definitely said no but now his opinion about Mingyu has changed. 

____

____

Hansol grinned. “Sure, why not.”

____

____

“Good, because a friend of mine’s is throwing a party next Saturday.”

____

____

“I’m down with that.” Hansol said. Mingyu gave him a wide smile that made the taller look even younger.

____

____

“Cool, it’s getting hella late, shall we go.” Mingyu remarked, getting up from the booth. “Want me to give you a ride back?”

____

“Yeah, sure.”

____

____

Hansol is starting to think maybe hanging out with Mingyu isn’t going to be a bad idea after all.

____


	6. Chapter 6

“Oh I forgot to ask,how was the concert last night?” Seungkwan asked, grabbing a mug from the cupboard.

Hansol shrugged. “It was fine.”

Seungkwan raised an eyebrow. “Just fine? Because when Mingyu called me last night, he told me you had the time of your life.”

“Well if Mingyu told you why you ask me then.”

“Because I wanted your perspective.” Seungkwan stated, pouring coffee into the cup.

Hansol gave him a look and shook his head. He would be lying if he said he didn’t have a good time last night. Sure the countless dates he has with his boyfriend are fun but being at the concert with Mingyu just felt different. Maybe it was the way the tall man gave off high energetic vibes or the way he was completely different from his usual “annoying rich guy who thinks he’s better than everyone else’ self. Maybe that’s the problem, Hansol thought , for so long he’s been finding ways to make himself not like Mingyu trying to find any reason to hate him. He kept placing the negatives in front of the positives- a wrong narrative when along there never was one. 

“Hello, is anyone home in there.” Seungkwan is waving a hand in front of his boyfriend’s face.

“Huh, uh yeah.” Hansol replied, snapping out of his thoughts.

“What were you thinking about?”

“Mingyu.”

Seungkwan gives him a puzzled look. “Mingyu? Should I be worried?” He added jokingly.

Hansol rubs the back of his neck. “Nah, he invited me to a party a friend of his is throwing tonight.”

“And you going?”

“Probably not, you know I’m not that much of party person besides-”

“Besides what. C’mon Sollie sometimes you gotta break out of your shell. Mingle y’know have fun and live. Enjoy your life.”

“I am enjoying my life..with you.” Hansol said, looking at Seungkwan with soft eyes.

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Oh please, do you think using your puppy eyes is gonna work on me. You’re still going.”

“Fine.” The other gruffed, pulling out his phone. “Never thought the day would come when my boyfriend forced me to do things against my will.” He opens Soundcloud. “Holy shit.”

“What?”

“I-I got 2,000 comments on my mixtape.” The last time Hansol checked the comment section (which was last night) there were only 700 now to see that the number has increased was quite overwhelming.

“Have you read them?” Seungkwan asked chin resting on his boyfriend’s shoulder looking at the phone.

“Uh, not really.” Hansol replied. Suppose the comments were mostly negative? Suppose everyone hated his mixtape. He can feel his anxiety started to kick in high gear. He needed something to calm his nerves down.

He needed a drink. 

He opened the top cabinet and grabbed a bottle of chardonnay pouring a glass. He gulped it down and poured another one.

“What are you concerned about?” Seungkwan said, scrolling through the phone. “Literally everyone is praising you, one person commenting with fire emojis and another person wrote ‘this is fire.”

“But kwannie there’s like 2,000 how do you know all of them are positive.” Hansol protested pouring his third glass.

Seungkwan walked towards him, putting his arms around his neck. “Because I know you are a talented rapper and songwriter and not to mention the most amazing boyfriend in the whole wide world.” He gives Hansol a peck on the lips. “Stop being pessimistic you’re too cute for that. I have to get to work. Have fun tonight, also.” He takes the drink from Hansol’s hand. “Also you shouldn’t be drinking this early, save that for later.”

“Yeah.” A little voice in the back of Hansol’s mind was telling him not to go.

He will learn later on that sometimes he should listen to that little voice.

<>

It’s almost 7pm and Hansol is standing in front of the mirror looking at his outfit- a short sleeve blue flannel shirt and cargo pants. He wonders if he’s too underdressed. Suppose this is a sophisticated party where everyone is going to be dressed in formal wear. On the other hand, he likes to wear clothes that make him comfortable and if these people don’t understand that, well the hell with them. He thought about if Seungkwan were here, he would probably be making his adorable pouty face while fussing about his constant indifference to fashion.

Hansol smiled a little at that image before grabbing his car keys from the coffee table.

It only took him 20 minutes to get to Mink’s, an upscale club that he never been to but he hears others mentioning it. There was already a long line of people waiting to get inside. Hansol wondered if he was supposed to stand in the line too.

“Vernon.” Mingyu yelled, running towards him. He was wearing a slick green shirt with tight black pants. His black hair parted to one side and he was wearing black eyeliner. “I didn’t think you were going to come.” He embraced the other in a tight hug.

“Well I’m here.” Hansol replied sheepishly. “Um, am I like not dress appropriately because I can go back home and ch-”

“You look hot.” Mingyu cuts him off. “C’mon let’s go.” He grabs Hansol’s hand dragging him to the front entrance. He approaches the bouncer- a huge muscular man wearing a tight black T-shirt- quietly tells him something. The bouncer looks in Hansol’s direction and nods his head letting them go in.

The inside of the club was already packed, lights in different colors flashing everywhere. Hansol looked up and saw men and women dancing in cages wearing revealing clothing dancing flirty. There was an 80s song that he forgot the name of playing in the background.

“Kim Mingyu.” A voice said behind them. A man in a red suit is walking towards them with a huge smile on his face.

“Byun Baekhyun.” Mingyu grinned back. Both men hugged each other. “It’s been awhile.”

“Is this the Boo Seungkwan you always talk about?” Baekhyun asked, looking at Hansol over Mingyu’s shoulder.

“No, I’m his boyfriend, Hansol Vernon Chwe.” Hansol stated. “Um you can just call me Vernon.”

“Okay, _Vernon_.” Baekhyun said with a wink. “Mingyu, do you think I can steal you away for a minute, there’s some people I want you to meet.”

“Yeah, sure.” Mingyu turns to Hansol. “You don’t mind being alone. This probably won’t take long.”

“I’ll be ok. I’ll wait for you at the bar.” Hansol said. Once the two men were gone, he made his way past the swarm of highly intoxicated sweating bodies on the dance floor to the bar.

“A gin tonic, please.” He said to the bartender. While waiting for his drink, he looked at the clubgoers, people grinding on each other with no care in the world. What he did notice was that three seats away, a man was staring at him. Hansol tried his best not to pay attention to him. He started to bob his head a little to the music but didn’t help because he can still feel the stranger’s eyes fixated on him. Once his drink came he thanked the bartender and turned back to look at the dance floor. Unfortunately, the stranger got up from his seat and walked to the seat by Hansol. 

“Kind of packed tonight, huh.” The stranger remarked. The man looked quite handsome; he was wearing a white button down with the sleeves rolled up and tan pants. His blonde hair elegantly styled with hair hanging close to his left eye.

“Uh, yeah.” Was all Hansol could manage to say.

“So why’re you sitting here all by yourself.”

“I’m waiting for a friend.”

The stranger raised an eyebrow. “A friend? So you-”

“I have a boyfriend.” Hansol blurted out. 

The blonde chuckled. “And I have a girlfriend and neither of them are here so where does that leave us.” He leaned in closer. Hansol can smell his strong cologne. “Besides, you hella cute, why do think I keep looking at you.”

Hansol didn’t know how to react. No one has ever flirted with him before, this is a completely new experience to him.

“So how about a dance or can I at least offer to buy you a drink seeing that yours is already gone.”

“Um sure...to the drink. Thanks-”

“Chiwon.” He smiled. “I guess you’re not much of a dancer...shame. You got a nice body.” Chiwon leaned in even more closer to the point he was basically whispering in Hansol’s ear.  
“Uh, thanks I think.” Hansol muttered. Chiwon laughed as if the other said something funny.

“Two gin tonics, please.” He called out to the bartender. “I think I see your friend.”

“Where?” Hansol turns around to where Chiwon is pointing but he doesn't see Mingyu

“Oh shoot I thought I saw him. I seriously need to get my vision checked.” He let out a small laugh. “Anyways how about a toast to being young and good looking.”

“Okay.” Hansol clinked his glass to Chiwon’s and drowned it down. He did notice Chiwon was looking at him with an unreadable look on his face.

“What?” He asked.

“Nothing.” Chiwon said hurriedly. “So what do you do for a living …”

“Vernon. I work at a radio station part time but I write music too.” 

“Hmmm, a musician that’s interesting. I kinda got a thing for musicians especially” he placed a hand on Hansol’s thigh. “Very hot ones.” He purred.

“R-right yeah.” Hansol wasn’t sure why he was getting nervous maybe because someone he barely knew was touching him. He wished he had another drink.

Hansol jumps up. “Listen I-I gotta go to the bathroom real quick so like yeah.” He didn’t even wait for the other’s response before disappearing into the crowd. 

Hansol managed to find the bathroom, it was empty inside. He walked to the sink placing his hand on both sides. He felt light headed which was strange because he only had two drinks and he didn’t feel drunk. He stared at himself in the mirror except everything was starting to get blurry.

What the hell is going on, he thought. Something isn’t right.

The bathroom door opens up. He squinted his eyes trying to see who it was. All he could he see was a mass of blonde hair.

“Well, well thought you left me.” Chiwon said.

“I-I...how...you ….” Hansol sputtered trying to maintain his composure. Why was he having a hard time talking?

“Shhh it’s ok baby.” Chiwon said softly, advancing towards the other. “You’re gonna be okay. I’m gonna make you feel better.”

Hansol froze

At that moment he knew he was screwed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cw:// attempted non-consensual oral sex

Despite Hansol trying to keep his cool, he can see Chiwon slowly walking towards him with a wicked grin on his face.

“Thank goodness I know someone who works here who is able to make sure _no one_ comes into this bathroom.” He said in a sultry voice. “Now we have so much time together to do whatever we want.”

With every step Chiwon took, Hansol slowly backed away until his back was against the wall. He can feel his heart beating rapidly.

“Hmmm has anyone ever told you that your lips are quite fascinating .” Chiwon traces a finger around Hansol’s lips. “But I wonder what your mouth can do.”

“I-I u-um.” Hansol stammered. He never felt nervous as he did now. He didn’t know what he’s going to do. He didn’t have enough energy to try to fight back because right now he felt like the room was spinning and his mouth felt extremely dry. 

“Let’s find out then.” Chiwon whispered into his ear. He roughly grabbed Hansol’s hair and forced the other onto his knees. “You love gonna love this.”

Hansol tried to get up but it was hard with the other’s tight grip on his hair. Chiwon lifts his chin up. His eyes filled with lust and his smile grew wider in contrast to Hansol’s panic eyes and even more panicker state.

“Baby relax, imagine my cock in your mouth you sucking it.” Chiwon cooed. “Nice and slowly.”

“No...no… please….” Hansol begged. He felt stupid, he shouldn’t even put himself in this situation. He felt useless and ashamed, tears starting to form at the corners of eyes.

Chiwon’s hand is moving towards his zipper while his other hand is still clutching Hansol’s hand. “Shhh pretty baby I’m gonna make you and me feel good and -”

Hansol blocked him out. He didn’t want to hear what the other was saying. He didn’t want this to happen but it’s going to happen.

And there’s nothing he can do about it. His weak desperate pleas go unnoticed.Chiwon pushes his head closer to his crotch area.

Hansol bracing himself for what’s about to happen but then the bathroom door busts open.

“What the fuck.” A voice roared. It’s Mingyu.

Chiwon is jerkily pulling away from him and what Hansol can see (or tried to see) the man is thrown onto the floor and judging by painful cries Mingyu must have punched him.

“You fucking piece of shit.” Mingyu screamed repeatedly, kicking the man in his stomach. “You motherfucking perv you-” 

“Mingyu,” a shocked voice said. Baekhyun.

Despite his eyes feeling heavy, Hansol can see Baekhyun trying to pull Mingyu away from Chiwon who is whimpering on the floor holding his stomach.

“Let me go. I’m not fucking done with him.” Mingyu growled trying to free myself from Baekhyun’s grip.

“Mingyu, you need to calm down.” Baekhyun said, keeping his grip on the other’s waist.  
“Can you please get security?” He asked someone over his shoulder.

Hansol’s head is spinning. The next thing he knew is someone put their hands on his shoulders. He can only make out black hair and a green shirt.

“Vernon, are you okay? Can you hear me?” 

The voice sounded so far away like the person is standing at the end of a tunnel.

“I’m…..” Hansol’s voice trailed off. 

Suddenly everything goes black.

<>

Seungkwan yawned and rubbed the back of his neck. He’s the only one in the office now, everyone has left (even Wonwoo). He decided to stay behind for another hour to finish up some reports. He checks the time on his phone and sees it’s almost 8pm. Time to call it a day, he decides getting up from his desk and putting his things inside his bag. He politely bows to the cleaning person- an older man with a kind face- the man gives him a small smile. Seungkwan gets inside the elevator thinking about the warm bath and Chamomile tea waiting for him at home. But first he decides to make a quick trip to the local cafe to get a iced americano- he deserves it for all his hard work today. Whistling, Seungkwan takes the shortcut behind the alleyway, however a noise ( or voice) makes him stop.

“Please I-I don’t know where the money-y is at I told them already-y-y.” The voice is desperately saying.

Seungkwan peeks from where he’s at to see a man kneeling on the ground in front of a hooded figure who has a gun pointing at the other’s forehead.

“P-Please I-I h-have a wife-and t-two daughters please I’m begging you-” The man croaked.

_Bang_

The man is now sprawled on the ground with a bullethole in his forehead. His killer is still standing over him.

Seungkwan froze. He couldn’t believe what he just witnessed. He knew he needed to leave but his feet felt glued to the ground. His heart beating fast. He had to get out of here now. He tried to get his legs to move, he backed away quietly so the killer wouldn’t hear him. By the time he’s back on the main street, he finds his car and leans against it, trying to catch his breath. He doesn’t why he’s feeling like this maybe because he just witnessed a man get killed right in front of his eyes. A man begging for his life and the killer took that away without any mercy- a cold blooded killer.

Seungkwan felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, he stared at the message on the screen.

**Gyu: Meet me at the hospital. Something is wrong with Hansol.**

Seungkwan blinked several times at the message thinking he probably read wrong. He slides down against his car and puts his face in his hands realizing it’s gonna be one of those nights.


	8. Chapter 8

Seungkwan made it to the hospital in less than 10 minutes, when he opened the door to the waiting room he saw Mingyu and Hansol sitting in a corner. Mingyu has an arm around the other whose head is hung low.

“Sollie, oh my god.” Seungkwan gasped, running towards them. He throws his arms around his boyfriend holding him tightly.

“What happened?”

“When we arrived at Mink’s,” Mingyu spoke when Hansol didn’t reply. “My friend Baekhyun asked me to meet some people he knows. By the time I made it back to the bar I didn’t see Hansol so I started asking around to see if anyone saw him. Someone said they saw him go into a bathroom and when I opened the door I saw….” He took a deep breath before he continued. “When I asked him if he was okay, he passed out so I took him here to the hospital and the doctor said-”

“I was drugged.” Hansol mumbled quietly, speaking to the ground. “I-I was fucking drugged and I let it happen.”

Seungkwan wanted to cry, here he was reacting over something that didn’t even affect him meanwhile his boyfriend was almost taken advantage of. He nuzzled his face against Hansol’s right cheek stroking his hair.

“It’s not your fault. Nothing is your fault. If anyone is to blame it’s that fucking creep.”

“Hansol are you sure you don’t want to press charges?” Mingyu asked quietly as if he were talking to someone near death.

Hansol’s head shot up quickly. “No, I don’t feel like going through all that. It’s not necessary.”

“But-”

“Can’t we just go home.” Hansol said quietly, getting up from his chair walking towards the front entrance.

Seungkwan and Mingyu looked at each other but followed him nonetheless.

<>

It’s 11pm, Seungkwan is tired but his nerves are still in high alert after tonight’s events. Hansol goes straight to bed without saying anything to him and Mingyu.

“The doctor thinks he’s still in shock.” Mingyu said to Seungkwan sitting down at the kitchen counter.

Seungkwan puts a hand to his forehead rubbing his temple. “It’s my fault, I told him to go to that party. I’m the one who kept persisting him I’m the one for the reason why he almost-”

“Kwannie, “ Mingyu gets up from the stool rubbing circles on his distressed friend’s back. “Nothing happened and trust me I would’ve continued beating the shit out of that fucking perv if Baekhyun wasn’t holding me back.”

“Oh Gyu if you didn’t make it there in time…” He trailed off because he couldn’t even bear to finish his sentence.

“But I did come there just in time and nothing happened.” Mingyu ressuared him.

Seungkwan’s mind wanders off to what he witnessed in the alleyway. The man begging for his life. The senseless killer standing over him.

_“Please”_

_“I-I have a wife and t-two daughters”_

_“Please”_

_“Please”_

The gunshot.

That one simple gunshot.

Seungkwan felt sick.

“Hey.” Mingyu said, sensing his friend is still upset. “How about you go and get some sleep. I promise I’ll wake up.” He gives Seungkwan’s shoulder a tight squeeze.

Seungkwan wanted to say he wasn’t tired but his body begged to differ. He opens the bedroom door to see Hansol already sleep or that’s what he thinks since the latter has his back to him. He could’ve asked but he knew better because right now his boyfriend needed some space after what he endured tonight and so did he. Seungkwan stared at the ceiling for a while before his eyes finally gave in and he drifted off.

<>

Seungkwan is woken up by the smell of food, he can see the sun slowly start to crept up. He makes his way into the kitchen to see Mingyu flipped something inside a frypan. Mingyu turns around and sees Seungkwan standing in the doorway.

“When’s the last time you had one of my famous omelettes.” Mingyu said brightly, flipping the pan again.

Seungkwan leaned against the doorway. “I think when we had that sleepover when we were teenagers.”

“Yeah I remember that. Wasn’t your mom out of town and you asked me to come over to spend the weekend because you were scared of being by yourself.”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t scared.”

“ _Sure_ you weren't.”

“Whatever.” Seungkwan turns on the TV. He hears a sound behind him, Hansol is shuffling into the kitchen heading towards the top cabinet.

“Hey Vernon,” Mingyu said cheerily, hoping Hansol is doing okay now but he’s wrong. Hansol looked like he did last night-completely drained and still in the same shock state. He doesn’t reply to Mingyu, instead he grabs a bottle of wine from the cabinet and sits down at the kitchen counter. Mingyu furrowed his eyebrows and looks at Seungkwan who is pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Kwannie, can I speak to you for a minute.” Mingyu said quietly so Hansol wouldn’t hear.

“Yeah,what’s up?”

“Not trying to judge a person’s lifestyle but do you think it’s a good idea for him to be drinking this early in the morning.” Mingyu glanced at Hansol who is pouring a glass.

Seungkwan looks to. “What do you mean? He drinks a glass of wine every morning he calls it his wake up drink or something like that.”

Mingyu’s eyebrows furrows even more. “His wake up drink? Listen all I’m saying last night someone managed to slip a drug into his drink and here he is drinking again. Do you honestly think that’s a good idea?”

Seungkwan folded his arms. “He’s a grown ass. I’m not his mother. I can’t tell him what he can and can’t do.”

“But you’re his boyfriend,” Mingyu insisted. “You should at least care about his well being.”

“And I do. He knows how to control his drinking. He’s fine.”

“But-”

Seungkwan put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I appreciate your concerns but you worrying over nothing trust me it’s-”

Seungkwan looks at the TV screen behind Mingyu. He felt his blood go cold.

_“Breaking news, prominent businessman Park Kimoon was found dead last night in the Gwan Wong District,” The newsperson reported. “Investigators are asking if anyone saw something to please come forward. More details to come… ___

__

__Seungkwan can feel his heart beating fast like it did last night._ _

__

___“Please”_ _ _

__

___“Please”_ _ _

__

___Bang_ _ _

__

__“You’re right, if you said he’s okay what’s my position to judge.”_ _

__

__“Huh?” Seungkwan tries to snap out of his trance. “Yeah...um I got to get to work by the way Sollie doesn’t work today, can you stay with him?”_ _

__

__“Of course.” Mingyu didn’t have any plans today anyway._ _

__

__Seungkwan walks over to Hansol to give him a kiss on the cheek and walks to the door._ _

__

__Once Seungkwan is gone, Mingyu runs a hand through his hair and lets out a big sigh._ _

__

__

__

__The drive to work wasn’t easy for Seungkwan, he trying to calm his nerves down but it didn’t help when he drove past the alleyway and the area tapped off and five officers were surrounding the area not to mention the fact there were people walking who causally stop to see what was going on. Seungkwan got out of his car, the alleyway was close to his workplace so he had no choice but to walk past the scene, he walked quickly but he still caught the glimpse of blood on the floor._ _

__

__Kimoon’s blood_ _

__

__Seungkwan wondered what led to Kimoon being killed. Was he involved in something suspicious or what was it for another reason. If Seungkwan was braver, he could’ve stopped it, trying to talk some sense into the killer. But he didn’t do anything, he just stood there like a coward watching a man get murder. It didn’t matter what Kimoon might have allegedly done, he was a husband and father; right now a woman doesn’t have the love of her and two girls don’t have a father._ _

__

__It doesn’t matter the wrongs a person does, Seungkwan thought. No one deserves to have their life taken. Never._ _

__

__

<>

__

__Now that it’s just Mingyu and Hansol in the kitchen, he turns and sees the other staring at the remnants of his drink. He hasn’t said anything since he came into the kitchen.Mingyu cleared his throat._ _

__

__“Do you want some breakfast?”_ _

__

__“No.” Hansol said, still staring at the glass._ _

__

__“Listen there’s something I want to tell you,” Mingyu sits in a stool next to Hansol. “I was going to tell you last night but….y’know everything went to shit. Baekhyun has a friend who works as a personal assistant to the Ceo at GreenHouse Records. I told him you’re a rapper and that you’ve a mixtape and well he wants to set a meeting for you to meet the CEO this Friday.”_ _

__

__Hansol looks at him as if he doesn’t believe him, GreenHouse Records is the one biggest record companies in Korea, many well known rappers and singers come from the label. If you get signed to GreenHouse Records you are automatically are going be successful._ _

__

__“W-what you’re kidding right.” Hansol spluttered. Mingyu had to be pulling some prank on him._ _

__

__“No, I’m not. I even gave him a link to your Soundcloud. He sent me a message a hour ago saying he was so impressed. Why do you think he wants you to meet the CEO.”_ _

__

__“Why’re you doing this?” Hansol knew that sounded rude, but he needed to know. He’s never been exactly nice to Mingyu._ _

__

__“Because,” Mingyu smiled, putting his hand over Hansol’s. “When it comes to the people I care about, I go out of my way to help them and you are one of them. Your music deserves to be heard by everyone. You’re hella talented.”_ _

__

__“Thanks.” Hansol grinned back, he noticed his and Mingyu’s hands are still entwined. He hastily moved his hand, getting up._ _

__

__“So,” He cleared his throat. “Uh, so what are we doing today?”_ _

__

__“Have you ever been on a yacht?”_ _

__

__“No.”_ _

__

__“Well that’s what we're doing today,” Mingyu simply said, leaning against the countertop. “So I advise you to wear comfortable light clothing.”_ _

__

__Hansol could think of many things he could do on his day off than be on a yacht but Mingyu is trying to help him boost his music career so who is he to decline?_ _

__

__“Ooooo How about I help you,” Mingyu jumped up from the stool excitedly. “Anytime me and kwannie used to go to events we used to pick out each other’s outfits.”_ _

__

__“Uh-”_ _

__

__“C'mon I’m sure we can find something in the closet.” Mingyu exclaimed, grabbing the other’s sleeve._ _

__

__Hansol was left with no choice as Mingyu dragged him into the bedroom._ _


	9. Chapter 9

Seungkwan is standing in the alleyway, the hooded figure is towering over the man on the ground. Instead of running Seungkwan’s legs are obediently walking forward almost as if he’s in a trance. Upon hearing footsteps the hooded figure turns around with the gun still in their hand slowly lowering the hood. Seungkwan gasped as where a face should’ve been, there’s nothing but a smooth blank surface. The man on the ground feebly lifts his head pointing a trembling finger at Seungkwan.

_“You…. did….this.” He croaked in a hollow tone._

“No no no.” Seungkwan shook his head quickly, eyes widened.

_“You...did…..nothing .” He repeated in his haunted tone, eyes emotionless_

“No I-I wanted-”

_“Seungkwan….it’s….your….fault….your….fault..”_

“No, please I-wanted t-to h-help y-you.” Seungkwan whimpered, slowly backing away.

_“You...let….be….killed...you.”_

“No”

_“Seungkwan”_

“No”

_“Seungkwan”_

_“Seungkwan”_

“Seungkwan.” Jun is nudging him. Everyone in the conference room is looking at them.

“Huh what happened?” Seungkwan startled so bad that he almost fell out of his seat.

“Wonwoo has called you five times, it’s your turn to present.” Jun mumbled so that only he could hear him.

Seungkwan looks and sees Wonwoo giving him a perplexed look, on the other side of the room five men in business suits are sitting at a long table. Today is the day the executives from Cesando- the company that’s the reason for the project- came to visit to see how the project is progressing. Seungkwan was already prepared to give his presentation, so he thought until last night’s event left him unnerved.

“Right right.” Seungkwan clumsily gathered his papers walking to the front where a projector is. He tried to stay composed throughout his presentation but he knew he was messing up. If the investors terminate the project it’s going to be his fault because he screwed up. Everyone is going to blame him, hell might end up getting fired. Every negative ran through his mind. By the time he’s done, he politely bows to the five executives and returns to his seat right by Jun.

“Dude, I thought you said you were prepared.” Jun muttered while Wonwoo was talking to the executives.

“Was I that bad?”

“Ehm not really but it seemed like you were like out, not completely there.”

Seungkwan groaned. “Today is probably gonna be my last day.”

“Nah.” Jun ressaured him. “Wonwoo won’t fire you, you’re too essential to this company.”

Seungkwan wanted to believe him. By the time the meeting is over, everyone is exiting the room. Seungkwan is walking behind Jun when a hand on his shoulder stops him from leaving.

“Hey Seungkwan, are you ok because during your presentation you seemed spaced out, not your usual self.” Wonwoo said. Seungkwan can see the disappointment in his boss’s eyes. If there was one thing he hated the most is disappointing people. He felt his insides sunk even lower.

“It’s just that ….” Should he tell Wonwoo what he saw? Would he judge him? Think of him as a coward? Maybe both. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.” He knew that was a weak lie but hoped it works.

“It’s ok,” Wonwon gives him a reassuring smile. “Don’t stress yourself out. You’re a good employee. I’m glad to have you here.” He gives the other a quick pat on the shoulder and walks out the room.

<>

“Well?”

“Well what?” Seungkwan sits at his desk.

“What did Wonwoo say?” Jun asked. 

Seungkwan shrugged. “Nothing really important.”

“Good because if he would’ve fired you,then would’ve had to fire me too.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t have a problem with that.” Seungkwan ducked just in time to avoid the flying pen.

“Hey guys.” Mark peers at them from his cubicle. “Did y'all hear about that murder that happen last night not far from here.”

Seungkwan stops laughing immediately,feeling the nervousness in his stomach coming back. He turns to his computer screen.

“Was he important or something?” Jun asked.

Mark shrugged. “I saw a piece on the news a while back that he was a software developer who apparently started a fundraiser to help his younger daughter who is battling cancer.”

The conversation turns to Mark and Jun chatting about something random, meanwhile Seungkwan, after hearing what his co-worker says, completely froze feeling more awful than he did before.

<>

“Do you owe anything that doesn’t say ‘hey i’m a college student that plays acoustic songs at the local coffee shop’” Mingyu said flipping through Hansol’s clothes.

“Not really, mostly all of the clothes I got I brought from a thrift shop.” Hansol replied, leaning against a wall scrolling through his phone.

Mingyu stops from clothes flipping to look at him. “Thrift shop? So you mean like clothes people have worn already.”

Hansol raises his eyebrows. “Yes, is that a problem?”

“Well.” Mingyu hesitated. “I mean I read somewhere that thrift clothing..are making a comeback this fall.”

Hansol shook his head in disbelief. “Seriously dude, I can take you to one so you can see there aren’t a place for poor people.”

“I never say- oh my god this is so cute” Mingyu suddenly exclaimed, holding up a matching white dress and pants.

Hansol groaned. “Not that outfit.”

“Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“Because Seungkwan brought that outfit for me.”

*** **December 21, 2015** ***

_Hansol is on the couch struggling with a song. He’s been working on this song for weeks(actually months) and still it didn’t feel right to him._

_“No that’s not right.” He muttered to himself at this point he felt just erased the whole song from his computer and started fresh. There’s a knock on the door when he opens it, Seungkwan is standing there with a huge white box tucked under his right arm._

_“Boo, what you’re doing here.” He gives his boyfriend a quick kiss on the lips. “Early Christmas gift?” He added looking at the box_

_“Hmmm kind of.” Seungkwan flops down on the couch putting the box on his lap. “It’s for you.”_

_Hansol furrowed his eyebrows sitting down right by him. “But Christman isn’t for a couple days?”_

_“I know but we’re visiting my mom so I thought you might need this.” Seungkwan is practically shoving the box in Hansol’s hand. Hansol hesitantly opens the box and pulls out a silk white shirt and pants. The outfit looked like it cost more than his and Jihoon’s apartment._

_“You like it.” Seungkwan beamed. “Every year on Christmas Eve, my mom holds a holiday charity gala. I was at Gucci and saw this and thought how cute you look in it.”_

_Hansol holds up the outfit. “Wow….uhm you shouldn’t have.” He really shouldn’t have,Hansol thought. Never ever in a million years he would wear something like this. It wasn’t even his style. But then he sees the excitement in his boyfriend’s eyes and he loves Seungkwan more than anything else._

_“I know but my mom is kinda big on first impressions and well your ‘wardrobe’ doesn’t have anything gala appropriate. I’m just trying to help. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to.” Seungkwan said, interlacing their fingers together._

_Hansol smiles and gives him a kiss on the lips. “You brought it so of course I’m gonna wear it.”_

_Seungkwan looks at the laptop. “What are you working on?”_

_“A song.”_

_“You mean the same song you’ve been working on for at least a year now?”_

_“Well.” Hansol tucks a piece of hair behind Seungkwan’s ear. “Sometimes I can’t give up on something I’m so attracted to know matter what.”_

_Seungkwan raises his eyebrows. “Are you talking about me or your song?”_

_Hansol kisses him again. “Both.” ___

__

__***_ _

__

__“He’s not lying though.” Mingyu stated, holding the outfit up in the mirror. “Put this on and everyone’s going think you’re a model.”_ _

__

__“I hardly doubt.”_ _

__

__“Vernon when you’ll realize that you’re extremely good looking.” Mingyu said, looking at him from the mirror._ _

__

__“Because I’m not.” Hansol remembers Chiwon's words from that night:_ _

__

___“Besides, you hella cute, why do think I keep looking at you.”_ __

__

____ _ _

__

____Hansol hasn’t thought about Chiwon for a whole week yet he is know remembering that ill fated night when Chiwon had on him on his knees close to his-_ _ _ _

__

____ _ _

__

____“Hey, everything is good?” Mingyu asked, voice and eyes filled with concern looking at him._ _ _ _

__

____ _ _

__

____“Uh yeah.” Hansol lied._ _ _ _

__

____ _ _

__

____“Then why’re you holding your phone extremely tight.” Mingyu moves closer to him, trying to get the phone out of his trembling phone._ _ _ _

__

____ _ _

__

____“It’s that um because-”_ _ _ _

__

____ _ _

__

____“You don’t have to tell me.” Mingyu whispered, staring directly into his eyes as if he were trying to detect the truth._ _ _ _

__

____ _ _

__

____The close proximity between them is making Hansol nervous. They are too close, noses almost completely touching. Hansol can smell Mingyu’s aftershave. There’s silence for a couple of minutes with neither of them saying anything. That’s when Hansol snaps out of his daze and takes a step back._ _ _ _

__

____ _ _

__

____“So yeah.” He cleared his throat . ‘Let me change and then we can go.”_ _ _ _

__

____ _ _

__

____“Okay yeah I’ll be ...in the living room waiting for you then.” A slightly flustered Mingyu stated._ _ _ _

__

____ _ _

__

____Once he’s gone, Hansol looks in the mirror and wonders what the hell just happened._ _ _ _

__

____ _ _

__

____Since when did Kim Mingyu make him nervous._ _ _ _

__


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a whole chapter about Mingyu and Hansol's day together in which something (almost) happens towards the end ~~~

Hansol shakes off whatever just happened and proceeds to get dressed. When he walks into the living room, Mingyu jumps up from the sofa, eyes widened excitedly.

“Holy shit, look at you,” He exclaimed. “You look amazing like you just walked off the runway.”

Hansol rolled his eyes. “Can you calm down, it's just an outfit besides what are we even doing today?”

Mingyu shrugged. “Well it depends on what you want to do.”

“I want to go to the thrift store.” Hansol stated. 

Mingyu’s smile fell just a little. “Or we could just stay in and watch some movies on Netflix.”

“Or we go to the thrift store.” Hansol walks closer to him. 

“But-”

Mingyu couldn’t even finish his sentence because the other is already heading out the door. He let out a sigh as he followed him out of the door.

<>

“Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for me to park my car right front in front of that store. The establishment looks quite shaddy..” Mingyu said in an unsteady voice, looking around at the neighborhood. He’s never been in this part of town.

“Would you chill no one’s gonna shank you and this neighborhood isn’t even that dangerous.” Hansol said in a slightly annoying voice.

Mingyu’s eyes nearly popped open. “Shank?? Oh my god does that happen often here.” He almost bumps into Hansol’s back as the latter turns around and looks at him in disbelief.

“Seriously, you know what you are...a poor phobic.”

Mingyu puts his hands on his hips. “Excuse me, well if I’m a poorphobic then you’re a rich phobic.”

Hansol lets out a laugh. “How when I’m literally dating an heir.”

The actor opens his mouth to retort but then closes it. “Dammit you better be glad I don’t have a clapback.”

Hansol smirked. “Yeah whatever.” He opens the store’s door.

<>

Hansol loves to come here, the atmosphere of the shop is warm and homely. The shop is empty with the exception of a elderly woman with a gentle face at the front counter. Aejung-the shop owner- has always been kind to Hansol. He remembers when he worked here as a teenager, the older woman made him Naengmyeon while he was doing his homework. He could tell her anything and she would listen- no judgement in her eyes unlike other people who looked at him like he was nothing more than just a trouble starter. While dealing with his parent’s divorce, she was there to comfort him with her soft and relaxing demeanour- in some way she became almost like a second mother to him.

Aejung’s face breaks out into a wide smile when she sees him. “Hansollie oh my goodness what are you doing here. I swear every time you visit it seems like you getting taller and taller.”

Hansol embraces her in a hug almost lifting the owner off her feet. “The real question is how come every time I visit you it seems like you getting younger and younger.”

The older woman playfully pinches his right cheek. “Now who is this fine looking young man you brought into my store with you.” She’s looking at Mingyu who is still awkwardly standing in the doorway.

“My friend, Kim Mingyu.” Hansol replied. Mingyu gives her a small wave.

“Now don’t just stand there like a stranger, a friend of my Hansolie is a friend of mine too.” She gives Mingyu a warm smile.

Mingyu starts to look around the store. His eyes travel to a shelf full of antique cameras. He picks up one of them staring at it fondly.

“I saw this camera on ebay but it was sold out. These cameras are so hard to find these days.” He said in amazement,still looking at the camera like it was his child. “And wow is that an 1880s Victorian cabinet.” He takes a picture of it with the camera. 

It’s quite comical how Mingyu was literally apprehensive about coming here and now he’s literally in awe about everything inside the store- the clothes, the furniture, the plates, basically anything his eyes fell upon. He looked like a kid inside a candy store the way he’s jubilantly jumping around and taking pictures. Hansol just stood there watching amusedly, sometimes he wondered if the tall man was actually human or just an overgrown puppy trapped in a man’s body. Mingyu was about to take a picture of a rug when his head rapidly shot up.

“Hold up this is my song.” He yelled in excitement. He starts to dance around the store. Hansol didn’t even have a moment to react before Mingyu grabs his arms and starts to spin him around. They both dance to the song; doing silly moves jumping on the couch playing air guitar. Hansol is doubled over in laughter watching the taller man dancing around like a manic singing loudly to the song. He even danced with Aejung, waltzing her around the store.

Hansol and Mingyu move over to the clothes section, grabbing every piece of material off the racks, he throws a yellow tie with red zigzag lines around Mingyu’s neck completing the look with an oversize suit jacket. Mingyu gets him back by pulling a hideous looking woman’s straw hat from a shelf placing it on his head. Hansol didn’t even have time to take it off before Mingyu whipped his phone out and took a picture. He places his arm around Hansol’s shoulder and takes another picture.

<>

By the time they leave the shop, their arms are filled with bags which are put in the truck of Mingyu’s car. Mingyu turns on the engine to the car driving off. Hansol doesn’t know where he’s driving to but looking out the window he sees rows of fancy shops. The latter eventually stops the car in front of a hair salon.

“Uh why are we here?” Hansol asked, staring at the salon.

“You’ll find out.” Mingyu replied with a mischievous grin on his face.

The salon is already busy with a handful of customers. Mingyu leads him over to a brown haired woman with highlights who is loudly popping the gum in her mouth. She’s wearing a red crop top and tight blue jeans.

“Naeun,” Mingyu greeted her with a kiss on both cheeks. “Long time no see.”

“It really has been huh so do you want the usual.”

“No no I’m not getting anything done today, however my friend here,” he slightly pushes Hansol forward. “Needs a new look.”

“What wait.” Hansol gives him a confused look. “I don't need a-”

The actor cuts him off. “Yes you did, don’t worry you in good hands. Naeun knows what she’s doing.” 

Naeun is looking at Hansol,scanning him up and down. “Hmmm I know exactly what style would look good on him.”

After an hour and half, the hair stylist turns him around to look in the mirror. Hansol is utterly speechless. Gone was his dark locks which are now replaced with blonde ones. He didn’t even recognize himself; he looked like a completely new person.

“Fuck, you’re look so damn good.” Mingyu marveled putting both of his hands on the chair Hansol is sitting in staring at him.

Naeun nodded in agreement. “Blonde looks good on him, don’t you think so honey?”

“Yeah,” Hansol said, still in shock. “Mingyu, we should get going. Mingyu?” He sees that the other is staring at him in the mirror with a look in his eyes that Hansol couldn’t describe.

“What? Oh yeah let’s go.”

<>

“Damn that was good, Seungkwan wasn’t lying when he said you can cook.” They are on the patio of Mingyu’s yacht. The sky is clear and the sun is shining bright.

“Thanks.” Mingyu smiled gathering up the plates to take to the kitchen, he came back with a bottle of champagne. 

“So what made you want to buy a yacht in the first place anyway?”

“Maybe impulsive or perhaps because sex is way much better on a yatcht.”

Hansol nearly choked on his glass of champagne. “Did I really need to know that.”He coughed.

Mingyu laughed. “Yes, it's an important yacht fact that everyone should.”

“Whatever.” Hansol stared at the ocean. “So what do you want to do now?”

Mingyu puts his elbows on the table, hands on his chin. “Hm I know something we can do.”

<>

“Seungkwan would kill me if he found out I was doing this.” Hansol giggled, passing the joint to Mingyu.

Mingyu takes a long drag from it. “Well do you see him here...Ooooo if Seungkwan was a ghost guess how he’d greet people.

“How?’

“By yelling boo get it because of his name.”

Both men burst into laughing. They both are laying side by side on the kingsize bed staring at the ceiling. Hansol never thought in a million years he would be getting high with someone like Mingyu yet he here he is and it feels good. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Mingyu pops his elbow on the bed.

“What kind of person Seungkwan was like in high school.” He pictured a pouty round face teenage Seungkwan in his school uniform being cute and adorable.

“Well he wouldn’t be the type to get high that’s what I know for sure.” Mingyu chuckled. “He was the president of SADD.”

“Really? Why I’m not surprised though.”

“Actually, “ Mingyu bits the inside of his cheek. “He kinda became a huge advocate when his boyfriend was killed by a drunk driver.”

“Shit.” Hansol turns to him. “Sorry to hear. He must’ve been devastated.”

“Definitely.” Mingyu remembers those days when he comforted his best friend- all those countless days and nights full of crying.

“Sorry if I dampen the mood.” 

“No, it’s okay.” Mingyu said quickly, changing the subject. “But I wonder what type of person teenage Hansol Vernon Chwe was”

“Probably the type to kick your ass.” Hansol chortled, he didn’t have time to react before a pillow colliding with the side of his face. “Hey you-”

He grabs a pillow and starts to flung it at Mingyu but the other ducks just in time. A full fledged pillow fight erupts between them. The room is covered in feathers as Hansol scrambles to avoid another attack but he’s unsuccessful as Mingyu manages to land a pillow smack across his face. He decided to come up with a strategy by latching himself onto the tall male’s back.

“Gotcha.” 

Unfortunately he’s caught off guard when Mingyu somehow flips him on the bed. Now he got Hansol pinned down on the bed.

“Oh really.” He smirked, staring down at his captor. “You’re sure about that.”

They panted heavily after the intense pillow fight; both trying to catch their breaths. They both look at each other not saying anything. Suddenly the tension in the air goes from fun to heavy. He can feel Mingyu’s breath on his face, the closeness felt similar to what happened earlier in the closet. Staring into Mingyu’s dark orbs, he can see that same look the other had in the salon. He now understands what that look means.

Hansol bites on his lips. This isn’t right. The rational part of his mind is telling him to push Mingyu away. To tell him to get off. He got a boyfriend. A boyfriend he loves so much.

So why is he just laying there not doing anything.

Mingyu is leaning down more and more until their noses are touching. Hansol swallows a lump in his throat.

_This isn’t right_

_This isn’t right_

Mingyu is close. Extremely close.

_You’ve got a boyfriend._

Hansol can feel his heart beating. The distance between them is closing in.

_I got a boyfriend. A caring mouth._

They stare at each other. Their lips are within a inch of each other-

Suddenly Mingyu’s phone starts to ring. “Hello?” He said, still on top of Hansol. “What? Now? Ok ok sure.” He hangs up the phone. 

Mingyu rolls of Hansol. “That’s my agent, he needs me to come in to discuss a potential movie role. Sorry I gotta cut our day short.”

“Oh no...it’s okay I understand.” Hansol fumbled, trying to recover from that moment. He sits up on the bed feeling overwhelmed.

Mingyu clumsily runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah um I should drop you off at home where you like to live...and...y'know sleep and eat so like yeah.”

They glance at each other; both with slight blushes on their faces before quickly looking away.

Once Mingyu drops him off in front of the apartment complex, Hansol stares at the car driving away. A part of him feels guilty about what could’ve happened back on that yacht.

But another part of him wished Mingyu’s phone never rang.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: There's smut in the first part of this chapter but it's not like graphic or anything.

“It should be illegal to bring work home.” Jun grumbled in frustration.

Seungkwan looked up at him. “Well first off this isn’t even your home and this is the last day of the project so stop complaining.”

Seungkwan and Jun are sitting inside his and Hansol’s apartment; the table is scattered with files,spreadsheets and notes. 

“Doesn’t mean I still can’t complain.” Jun said, taking a slip of his coffee. “Besides you’re the one that’s going to get a promotion anyway.”

“Don’t be ridiculous you don’t know that.” Seungkwan remembers what Wonwoo told him about how proud he is to have him as an employee. He wasn’t sure why but the fact his boss always gave him high praises made Seungkwan’s heart swell with happiness. He’s the type of person that always makes sure he doesn’t let people down.

The door opens up. “Hey I’m home.” He hears Hansol say. 

Jun lets out a whistle. “Whew Vernon look at you lookin like Mr. GQ of the year.” 

Seungkwan turned around in his chair and couldn’t believe his eyes. Standing there in the doorway was Hansol but the thing he looked completely different. His newly blonde hair makes him look even more gorgeous plus he’s wearing the outfit Seungkwan brought him a couple of years ago. He couldn’t do anything more than just stare at his incredibly hot boyfriend. Needless to say, he’s getting turned on. 

“Uh Jun, I think we’re done for the day.” Seungkwan said, still looking at Hansol while quickly gathering up the things on the table. “I’ll email you the rest of the notes later.”

“Wait I thought you say we had another hour and hey stop pushing me.” Jun said but the other is rushing him out of the apartment.

“I changed my mind, I gotta have a talk with my boyfriend. Ok bye.” Seungkwan closes the door on an annoyed Jun.

Hansol is just simply standing there watching the scene right in front of him with a confused look on his face. “Um what do we to ta-”

He didn’t have time to finish because Seungkwan grabs him by his collar, pressing his lips on his. Hansol can feel himself whining into the kiss, he lets Seungkwan slide his tongue into his mouth. Seungkwan pushes him onto the couch getting on top of him, he leans back in to continue the makeout session. He then starts to kiss Hansol’s neck slightly biting causing the other to moan. Seungkwan is in the process tugging off Hansol’s shirt when the latter stops him.

“D-don’t want you to at least move this to the bedroom.” Hansol breathed.

“No I need you now.” Seungkwan proclaimed, leaning back to give him another kiss. “But I do have to get something. “

When Seungkwan returns, he has a bottle in his hands. “You know the drill..pants off.”

Hansol quickly pulls his pants off, laying stomach down on the couch with his legs spread. Seungkwan gets back on top of him to prep him, he slides a finger into Hansol’s rim. Hansol hisses from the coldness of the lube entering him. Seungkwan slides his finger in and out making the other moan.

“K-kwannie can you please just hurry up I don’t know if I can last long.” Hansol pleaded, his erection throbbing against his stomach.

“Tell me what you want.” Seungkwan whispered, sliding two fingers into his rear.

“Y-your cock, please I need it now.” Hansol pleaded.

Seungkwan pulls his fingers out and aligns his hips to Hansol’s. He enters causing the other to moan loudly, he thrusts again while grabbing the top of his boyfriend’s hair. He quickly picks up his pace this time thrusting more roughly while maintaining a firm grip on Hansol’s hair. Hansol can feel his orgasm coming as he clutches the couch. He feels liquid starting to spill over the couch but Seungkwan isn’t done with him yet. He continued to thrust, Hansol moaning gripped his shoulder intensely. He reaches to stroke his throbbing cock when Seungkwan pushes his hand away.

“No.” Seungkwan reprimanded ,placed another bite on his neck. “You know the rules, no touching.”

“But.” Hansol started to whine. “I need to-”

“What did I say.” Seungkwan said in a low whisper, thrusting into the other again. “I want you to say it.” 

“Kwannie I-”

“Say it.” Seungkwan said, pondering harder into him. 

“I’m...I’m your-”

“I’m your what?”

“I’m your bitch. I’m your fucking bitch.” Hansol replied feebly. Seungkwan roughly rams into him one more time causing him to throw his head back. Seungkwan collapses on top of him, panting heavily. They both just laid there on the couch trying to catch their breaths.

“If I knew.” Hansol stated, putting his shirt back on. “That me changing my hair color would make you this horny, I would’ve changed it a long time ago.” 

Seungkwan is leaning against his chest. “Mhm I wouldn’t say it’s just the hair color, it’s just you in general. You’re hot.” He twists his head to give his boyfriend a kiss.

Hansol raised his eyebrows. “So you decide to have spontaneous sex with me because I’m hot?”

“Yes.” Seungkwan professed, poke his chest playfully. “And because I love you so much obviously.” 

Hansol kisses the top of head. “ I love you too.” 

“I’m hungry, do you want me to order some takeout.” Seungkwan pulls out his phone. 

“Sure.” Hansol reaches for his phone that was sitting on the small table by the couch. He opens Instagram casually scrolling through until he sees Mingyu uploaded the photo he took of them at the thrift shop. There is a caption under the photo: “Date with bestie❤️”

“What are you smiling at?” Seungkwan asked.

“The photo Mingyu took of me and him.” Hansol remarked. 

“How adorable.” Seungkwan declared, looking at the photo. “You two look so cute together.”

“Yeah.” Hansol smiled at the photo. “We do.”

<>

“Everyone I have amazing news.” Wonwoo beamed at everyone in the conference room. “Well actually I have three announcements. First, The deal with Cresando has been finalized. Second, as a thank you gift to all of you who’ve been effortlessly working hard during this project, I planned a glorious three days at a spa in Jeju Island and don’t worry all expenses are paid for.” The room erupts into applause at that. “And lastly, ladies and gentleman I want you to give a round of applause to our newest senior account executive, Boo Seungkwan.”

Seungkwan can feel the heat on his back as the room bursts into applause with a whooping noise coming from Jun. Wonwoo is beckoning him forward to say a few words. He takes the glass of champagne from his boss, turning to look back at his co-workers.

“I just want to say I’m grateful and honored and I promise I won’t let you down.” Seungkwan stated, giving the older man a small bow. “Also I’m so lucky to work around people who are dedicated and determined. You guys made this project successful and I honestly couldn’t think of working anywhere else.” He raised his glass and so did everyone else.

Once the conference room starts to get less crowded, Jun comes forward swinging an arm around Seungkwan’s shoulder. “So now that you’re making money moves, you think you can pay me back that money that I lent you over a year ago.”

Seungkwan pushes his arm off. “You do realize _you_ were the one who _borrowed_ the money from me, right.”

“Oh right, forgot. Anyways, can you believe we gonna be spending three days at a expensive spa plus it’s paid for.”

“I know.” Seungkwan exclaimed. He was in dire need of some relaxation even if it was for only three days.

He couldn’t wait to tell Hansol the good news.

<>

“Hey are you ok.” Mingyu said with concern in his voice.

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“Because I can feel you literally shaking.”

“Oh,sorry.” Hansol mumbled. Him and Mingyu are sitting in the lobby of Greenhouse Records waiting for his appointment with the CEO. Hansol is trying to calm his nerves but he’s having a hard time doing that. This is stupid, he thinks, he shouldn’t be here, he’s not talented enough unlike other rappers. Maybe he’s wasting his time pursuing a rap career. Perhaps he should just quit trying and get a normal 9 to 5 job. Perhaps -

Oh god how bad he needed a drink now.

“Vernon, relax. You got nothing to worry about. You got this, you know why because you’re talented and anyone can see that.” Mingyu gives him a reassuring smile. “I probably listen to your mixtape at least twice a day.”

“You do?”

Mingyu nodded. “Yeah, every song is my favorite and if you do get signed, I’m gonna stream all of your songs everyday.” 

Hansol reaches and squeezes the other’s hand. “Thanks I appreciate that.”

Mingyu stares down at their interlacing fingers with a hesitant look on his face. “Um do you think we can talk about what happened yesterday y’know...inside the yacht.”

“Uh, yeah sure.” Hansol knew eventually they were going to have to discuss that moment but he didn’t think it was going to be right now.

Mingyu runs a hand through his hair. “I just want to say I’m sorry for even attempting to do something like that. You’re my best friend’s boyfriend and I feel awful.”

“Dude don’t worry if anything I feel awful for not immediately pushing you off of me besides we were both high we wasn’t thinking straight and thank god nothing did happened.”

Mingyu silently agreed. “I really do cherish our friendship. I don’t want to do anything to mess it up.” He said quietly, looking at the other with sincereness in his eyes.

Hansol smiles at him. “Don’t worry, everything is fine.”

“Hansol Chwe.” A young woman with wavy black hair approaches them. “Kang Dongsuk is ready to see you.”

Shit this is really happening, he thought. He gets up,legs feeling like jello. Mingyu gives him two thumbs up before Hansol follows the secretary down the hallway. Greenhouse Records really lives up to its name; literally everything is covered in green from the walls to the floors. Plants are lined up against the walls. The secretary stops in front of a glass door, she knocks on it.

“Come in.” A voice says from the other side. Hansol remembers the countless times he had seen Kang Dongsuk on entertainment and survival shows but to see him in person is a different experience. He wonders what kind of water the CEO drinks because honestly the man hasn’t aged not one bit. Despite Dongsuk being 50 years old, he still has his youthful appearance. His long black hair is tied back in a ponytail and he’s wearing his signature yellow tinted glasses. The man doesn’t wear business suits like other CEOs instead he chose casual attire- a t-shirt with a sports jacket and black and white converse. That’s what Hansol admires the most about Dongsuk is that despite being successful, he hasn’t changed who he is.

“Hansol Chwe.” Dongsuk gives him a wide smile. “We finally met.”

“Y-you can call me Vernon, sir.” Hansol spluttered, bowing repeatedly in front of his senior.

Dongsuk waved a dismissive hand. “You don’t have to call me sir. Makes me feel old.” He pointed to a chair across from his desk. “Why don’t you take a seat.”

Once Hansol is settled down in the chair, Dongsuk begins to speak.

“Firstly I want to say when my assistant sent me a link of your mixtape I was skeptical to say the least. I think on a daily basis I probably get a hundred mixtape links in my inbox but when I heard yours I just knew I had to meet you. Every hook and beat I can tell you put your emotions in every song. Plus you gotta flow that most rappers would be jealous of.” 

A speechless Hansol is just sitting there. He can’t believe the CEO of Greenhouse Records is praising him. Actually praising him. 

“However.” Dongsuk continued. “Much as I love your mixtape. Do you think you can produce another one?”

“I...yes of course I can.” Hansol blurted. “I would have it ready by next Friday.”

“Good.” The CEO leans back in his chair. “Because I see a future with you here.”

<>

“Well?”

“He liked it.” A still fazed Hansol said. “He asked me if I can put together another mixtape, if he said if likes what he hears he might sign me.”

“That's amazing.” Mingyu grinned. “I knew you could do it and here you were worry about noth-”

He’s cut off by Hansol who embraces him. Hansol breaks the hug but still has his arms around the waist of the other. “Bro none of this wouldn’t have been possible without you. I owe you a lot.”

Mingyu ruffles his hair. “Nah don’t say that I barely did anything. You’re the one who-what’s wrong?” He notices the sudden change in the other’s appearance. Hansol removed his hands from Mingyu’s waist looking at something over his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed.

“I thought..nothing.” He shook his head, deciding he was probably just seeing things. “C’mon let’s go. I can’t wait to tell kwannie the news, he’s gonna be ecstatic.”

Once inside Mingyu’s car, Hansol thinks about everything that just happened to him but then his mind goes back to what he ( or what he saw) a minute ago. 

Because he could’ve swore he saw a black hooded figure across the street with a camera in their hand take a picture of him.


	12. Chapter 12

“I have amazing news.”‘Seungkwan and Hansol both said at the same time.

“You go first.” Hansol insisted. 

“Guess who's the newest senior account executive.” A beamed Seungkwan spreaded open his arms.

“What the fuck that’s amazing.” Hansol grinned, swooping up his boyfriend to bring him into his arms. “Your boss would’ve been crazy not to promote you after all the hard work you did doing that project.”

“So.” Seungkwan said, arms around Hansol’s neck. “What is the big news you’ve for me?”

“Well the CEO of Greenhouse Records liked my mixtape so much that he might consider signing me although he wants me to produce another mixtape first.”

Seungkwan squealed. “Oh my god Sollie.” He gives him a kiss. “That’s wonderful. I’m so proud of you.” 

Hansol kissed him back. “I could say the same about you.” There’s a knock at the door.

“Hey love birds, hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Mingyu said once Seungkwan lets him in.

Hansol wraps his arms around Seungwan’s waist, laying his chin on his shoulder. “Not really. Did Kwannie tell you the news about his promotion.”

Mingyu's eyes widened. “What. That’s terrific news. My besties are really moving up.” He hugged Seungkwan in a tight hug.

“And so are you.” Seungkwan said in a muffled voice because he really couldn’t talk clearly since he’s sandwiched in between his boyfriend and best friend. “Do you think you two could give me some space so I can breathe?”

Once Hansol and Mingyu backed off of him, Seungkwan stated. “I think this calls for a celebration.”

“I agree.” Mingyu headed to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine. When he returned he had three glasses in his hands. “Here's toast to us, we worked our asses to get where we are at now.” They clinked their glasses.

Seungkwan puts his empty glass down on the coffee table. “We should do something tonight, the three of us.”

“Like what?” Hansol asked.

“Oooo I know.” Mingyu quipped. “Let’s go to Club Flamingo.”

Seungkwan shrieked. “Club Flamingo! I haven’t been there in years.”

Hansol looked at the two males with a confused look on his face. “Not trying to be that person but what the hell is Club Flamingo.”

“You’re kidding, right.” Mingyu looked at him with a shocked look on his face. “Kwannie, you never took him there.”

Seungkwan shrugged. “Guess it never crossed my mind.”

Mingyu shook his head in disbelief before turning back to Hansol. “Club Flamingo is the most exclusive gay club in Seoul. The fact you never been there is sending me.”

Hansol crosses his arms. “You’re making it seem like that’s a bad thing and just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I know every gay club in South Korea.”

“Well we're gonna change that tonight.” Mingyu said cheerfully. “So you and Kwannie better hurry up and get change because we’re gonna party until we pass out.”

<>

By the time they arrive at Club Flamingo, it’s almost 8pm. Hansol got to admit the club lives up to its name. There is a huge pink Flamingo neon sign on the side of the place. Pink lights are illuminating from the outside and there’s already a long line of people outside waiting to get in. Mingyu makes his way to the front where a bouncer is at, he taps the guy on his shoulders and whispers something in his ear. The bouncer nodded his head and Mingyu beckons a hand to Hansol and Seungkwan.

“I know the owner of the club.” He stated before they asked. “We went to the same acting school.”

“How do you know so many people?” Hansol questioned as they made their way into the club.

Mingyu gives him a wink. “I’m a people person, remember.”

“You gotta be a big people person then.” Seungkwan added amusedly. He noticed that the club is already quite packed. Music blasting in the background and bright pink lights shining everywhere. “Um, maybe we should’ve came on a different night.”

He glanced at Hansol from the corner of his eyes. Maybe it’s too soon for Hansol to go out, especially to a club. Suppose he suddenly has a flashback to that traumatic night. Unfortunately Hansol noticed that Seungkwan looked at him.

“Why? If you’re trying to imply that I can’t handle going to a club because of what almost happened, well you're wrong. I’m not weak y’know.”

“I’m not saying you’re weak, I’m just saying-” Seungkwan started to say but he’s cut off by Mingyu.

“You heard the man, he’s a big boy he can handle himself.” Mingyu flung an arm around Hansol’s shoulder. “Besides we’re gonna be glued by his side so much he’s gonna get tired of us. Now can we please get to the dance floor my song is playing.”

Hansol and Seungkwan just glanced at each other before Mingyu dragged them to the dance floor.

<>

Hansol can say for a certain he’s definitely not a dancer. He did once try out for the dance team back in high school only because he needed an elective, needless to say it resulted in embarrassment for him. So he is here on a dance floor not sure what the hell he’s doing. He feeble attempts to swing his hips to the music playing but he hears giggles from behind him. 

“What?” He said to Mingyu and Hansol who looked like they couldn’t contain their laughter for any longer.

“Nothing, it's just….that you look so awkward.” Seungkwan giggled. “But like cute awkward.”

Hansol stopped. “That’s because I’m not a _dancer_ which I mention at least a million times a day.”

“I’m not a dancer either but I can do wayyy better than whatever you’re doing.” Mingyu grabs his hand and pulls closer to him, putting a hand on Hansol’s waist. “Now just watch what I'm doing,okay.”

With the guidance of Mingyu, Hansol found his hips started to sway to the beat of the music. He feels a pair of hands sneak up on his waist. 

“Mind if i join yall.” Seungkwan purred in his ear

The next thing Hansol knew, he’s got Seungkwan grinding on his crotch and Mingyu is grinding behind him- he feels quite overwhelmed. He feels heat on his neck and he’s not sure if it's because of the lights or because he’s in the middle of two good looking guys dancing on him. He’s not sure how he got this lucky.

“How you’re holding up.” Mingyu mumbled in his ear, his hands are still on Hansol’s hips.

“Hmm I think he’s holding up fine.” Seungkwan twists around and smiles seductively at Hansol. “Don’t you think so, baby”

“I-”

“I don’t know Kwannie.” Mingyu breathed, hands moving around Hansol’s chest. “I don’t think he can handle the both of us anyways. We should get something to drink before end up killing Hansol with our dancing.”

The three men make their way to the bar, but a voice behind them makes them stop.

“Mingyu, Seungkwan.”

Hansol turns around and sees a light brown haired man emerging from the sea of people on the dance coming towards them. He has a wide smile on his face.

“Uh hey Jaehyun.” Mingyu said (Hansol noticed the change in his tone) “How are you doing?” 

“I’m doing splendidly.” Jaehyun grinned. “I wasn’t expecting the both of you to be here though.”

“Small world, huh.” Mingyu runs a hair through his hair. “Hansol, this is a friend of ours from high school, `Jeong Jaehyun.”

Hansol glanced at Seungkwan who was surprisingly quiet and had a strange distant look in his eyes.

Jaehyun looked at Hansol and smirked. “Damn Seungkwan you’re really know how to pick them huh,first-”

Mingyu interrupted abruptly. “We should get going, It was nice to see you again.” He grabs both of Hansol and Seungwan’s arms when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Can I have a quick word with you?” Jaehyun asked. Mingyu looked back at his friends telling them they could head to the bar.

“What?” Mingyu said in an exasperated tone. To his surprise, Jaehyun gives him a quick embrace.”

“I just wanna say that I missed you.” He whispered in Mingyu’s ear. “And don’t be a stranger, you know where I’m at.” He breaks the hug giving the other and disappears once again into the crowd.

“Whatever.” Mingyu mumbled, heading to the bar.

<>

“I’m going to the bathroom real quick.” Hansol stated, getting up. “I’ll be right back.”

“I can go with you.” Mingyu said in a concerned tone, getting ready to get up. 

Hansol stops him. “I think I’m fully capable of going to a bathroom by myself without you two thinking I’m going to have a full blown breakdown. Seriously I’m okay.” He added when he saw Seungkwan about to open his mouth.

Once Hansol is gone, Mingyu sighed. “I still think I should’ve gone with him. Don’t you think? Kwannie?” He looked at Seungkwan who was staring at his empty shot glass with a blank expression on his face. “Hey what’s wrong?”

“It’s just that seeing him again….Jaehyun.” Seungkwan mumbled, staring down. “I- I didn’t think I would ever see him again and now he’s here a-and…” He trailed clutching his glass tightly. Jaehyun is someone he never wanted to see again, he feels old memories coming back. Those memories he tried so hard to forget. 

“Hey look at me.” Mingyu said softly. “You don’t have to worry about him. He’s not going to do anything not with me and Hansol here. Just forgot about him.”

“I-I know he’s not gonna do anything but still…” Even though Jaehyun is nowhere near them, Seungkwan still doesn’t feel safe. After all of these years, Jaehyun’s words still crept up in his mind. 

He can never forget those words as much as he wanted too.

“Excuse me, can we get five shots.” Mingyu called the bartender, he turned back to Seungkwan. “Tonight is supposed to be a celebration. I say let’s drink all worries.” 

“I agreed to that.” Hansol replied, spreading his arms. “You see, I'm back, calm and composed. What were y'all babbling about while I was gone.”

“Nothing.” Seungkwan lied, raising his shot glass. “So are we gonna get drunk or what?”

Seungkwan knew drinking was only going to erase those painful memories temporary.

<>

The three men staggering into the apartment at 1am singing loudly. Hansol is giving Seungkwan a piggyback ride while Mingyu is spinning around in the living room until he collapses on the couch pulling a pillow up to his chin.

“I’m hungry.” Seungkwan whined loudly, getting off his boyfriend’s back. “I want ice cream.”

Mingyu suddenly jumps up from the couch “Oooo you know the best ice cream to eat while drunk...cookies n cream. Tell me y’all got some.” He rushed off to the kitchen.

“I think we do.” Seungkwan replied, rummaging around in the refrigerator. “Oh my god we do look.” He waved around the ice cream carton excitedly.

“I’ll get some bowls.” Mingyu reached into the top cupboard when he accidentally dropped one. He bends down to retrieve it.

“Hey something fell out of your pocket.” Seungkwan picks up the small baggie filled with a white substance.

Mingyu stared at what’s in Seungkwan’s hand. He mentally cursed Jaehyun. The bastard must have slipped into my pocket while he was hugging me, he thought.

Mingyu held his hand out. “I don’t know how that got into my pocket just give it to me and I’ll throw it away.”

“Why?” Seungkwan asked, he turned the baggie over in his hand staring at it. 

“What do you mean? Don’t you know what that is?”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Of course I know what it is.” All his life, he’s always been the perfect son. The perfect student. The responsible one. The one everyone depended on. Maybe for one night he didn’t want to feel like that. He bites down on his lip looking down at his hand. The next words he spoke felt like it came out of the mouth of a stranger.

“I say let’s have some more fun.”


	13. Chapter 13

“Are you crazy like have you literally lost your mind.”

“No I haven’t lost my mind, I know exactly what I’m saying.”

Hansol walks into the kitchen. “What’s taking you’re guys so long-whoa.” He stops mid sentence when he sees the small bag Seungkwan is holding up in the air, eyes growing big . “Is that cocaine?”

“Yes it is and he wants to snort it can you please talk some sense to your boyfriend.”

Seungkwan puts a hand on his hip. “So let me get this straight.. Hansol drinks and you smoke weed and don’t give me that look because I know you do but when I want to do something fun it’s a problem.”

Mingyu gives him a disbelief look. “First, there’s a huge difference between weed and cocaine. Second, snorting coke isn’t something fun to do now stop being ridiculous and give that to me.”

“No.” Seungkwan said, holding the bag closer to him. “What are you, my mother. Hansol what do you think?” He rounded on the other who was just simply standing there with a surprise expression on his face.

“Uh, well I mean it is a small bag I mean what damage can be done, right?.” Hansol replied, running a hand through his hair. 

“Well it’s settled, you’re outnumbered 2-1 Gyu which means we’re doing this.” Seungkwan said with finality walking out of the kitchen.

Mingyu crossed his arms giving Hansol a disdainful look. “And to think I thought you were the most reasonable one in the relationship.”

Hansol merely shrugged. “Hey it’s what he wants to do.” He walks out of the kitchen leaving Mingyu alone.

Mingyu throws his hands in the air letting out a frustrated sigh but nevertheless he follows the latter out of the kitchen.

<>

“Okay so how does this like..work.” The three men are sitting on the bed; Hansol is leaning back on his elbow while Seungkwan is sitting up right by him and Mingyu is sitting cross legged across from them. There’s an awkward tension in the air. 

“Well...I think the first process is to actually y’know open the bag.” Hansol replied.

“And then what?” Mingyu asked him.

“Why the fuck you’re asking me do I look like a fucking expert on cocaine using.”

Mingyu shrugged. “I mean you were raised in America.”

“What the fuck is that suppose to mean.” Hansol said indignantly. 

“Guys, please.” Seungkwan holds up his hand to stop the bickering.”In movies, people usually do this by using a rolled up won. So I guess that’s...what we need.” 

He fetched a won from his pocket rolling it into a tight cylinder. Seungkwan takes a deep breath and opens the bag, a small amount of cocaine falls into his hand. He never thought he would be the type of person to do something like this. The teenage him wouldn’t even dare touch any drug yet he is. Seungkwan is starting to get nervous. Maybe this is a bad idea, Maybe Mingyu is right, he’s being ridiculous. On the other hand, it’s just a small account. What’s the worst that could happen?

“Um, so what do we do now...is the part when we y’know….snort it?” Mingyu asked awkwardly.

Suddenly an idea pops into Seungkwan’s head. “Hansol take your shirt off and lay down.”

Hansol looks taken back by that strange request. “Wait what. Why?”

“Just do it.”

A hesitant Hansol does what Seungkwan says. He takes his shirt off laying down on the bed. Seungkwan sorts two lines of coke on Hansol’s bare chest.

“Here goes nothing.” With the rolled up won in his hand, Seungkwan lowers his head and snorts the line. He immediately throws his head back rubbing his nose.

“Fuck.” He can feel a sudden rush of euphoria coming over him. He gives the won to Mingyu. 

“Holy Shit.” Mingyu exclaimed, a reaction identical to Seungkwan’s. “This is….a new feeling”

Seungkwan and Mingyu looked at each other and burst out laughing. 

“Kwannie…you omg you’re so fucking funny. “ Mingyu said in between laughs, rolling around on the bed clutching his stomach. “And…and shit I forgot what I”m gonna say.”

Seungkwan giggled. “I know I know oh my god my heart it’s beating like fast really I didn’t know hearts can do that I think I made a medical discovery.” Seungkwan feels like he can do anything. His senses are suddenly on high alert. He feels wonderful. No not wonderful- he feels terrific like he’s on cloud nine. 

Mingyu puts a hand to his chest, eyes widened. “Shit, you’re right I never realize heartbeats can be like so fast. Oooo Kwannie you know what we should do...make a youtube channel and call it Boogyu.”

Seungkwan fanned his hands excitedly. “Boogyu omg I love thought we should totally that. Mingyu have I ever told you that you’re a fucking genius like a fucking certified genius.” He tackles his friend into a hug.

“Sorry to interrupt y’all moment but.” Hansol watched the two entwined men rolling around on the bed. “I think y’all forgot about me.”

Seungkwan climbed off Mingyu crawling towards his boyfriend. “Oh no Sollie, how can we forget about you.” He grabbed Hansol’s face squishing his cheeks together. “Not with an adorable face like yours.”

He picked up the rolled up won and baggie handling it to Hansol. “Your choice on where you want to snort it.”

Hansol looks at Seungkwan and Mingyu, biting down on his lips. After a couple of seconds he makes up his mind. “Uh kwannie can you tilt your neck to the side.” Once Seungkwan does, he drips a line along his neck bringing you the won up to his left nostril.

Hansol isn’t sure what’s supposed to happen because at first he doesn’t feel any effects. Sure his heartbeat feels a little bit quicker but that’s about it. He turns to Mingyu and Seungkwan who are looking at him with their hands covering their mouths faces red.

“What?”

Seungkwan bursts out laughing. “It’s just that...your face.”

Hansol touched his face. “What’s wrong with my face? Is there something on it?”

“Nooo it's just that...your facial expressions god you’re like a fucking living meme.” Mingyu giggled, holding on to Seungwan for support. Now both men are laughing again.

“Uh-”

“Sollie don’t listen to him.” Seungkwan cooed, pushing Hansol down on the bed. “I loveee your cute meme face. I love your face. It's so soft and squishy.”

“Oh thanks.” Hansol said, leaning up to give his boyfriend a kiss on the lips.

“Hey where’s my kiss.” Mingyu pouted, leaning his chin on a throw pillow.

“Get a boyfriend.” Seungkwan replied, still looking at Hansol.

“Or how about I take yours.” 

“Sorry dude but I’m only committed to one man and one man only.” Hansol stated, stoking Seungkwan’s cheek.

“Ugh you two are giving each other that look, that’s my cue to go.” Mingyu stumbled out of the bed. “Might as well call my agent to pick me up. He’s gonna be pissed off at me but honestly when have I ever cared.”

Once Mingyu is gone, Hansol and Seungkwan embrace each other with passion in their eyes.

“Have I ever told you much I love you.” Seungkwan said softly, brushing blonde locks off of Hansol’s face. 

“Mmm I think you say it every day.” 

“But I really do mean it. I’m so glad to have you in my life.” Seungkwan loved his boyfriend so much. He wouldn’t know what he would do without him. He wants to spend the rest of his life with Hansol. The man who makes him happy every day.

“I love you so much Kwannie.” Hansol said, stroking his boyfriend’s hair. “You’re the reason for my happiness. I love everything about. Your round cheeks. Your nose and especially.” He smacks his hand on Seungkwan’s rear. “Your butt.”

Seungkwan playfully pushed away. “Honestly, you really had to ruin a romantic moment.”

Seungkwan gets up from the bed walking to the window. He opens the screen letting the cool air blast on his face. He looks up at the clear night sky letting his thoughts wonder.

_Click._

Seungkwan furrowed his brows. He looks around but there’s no one outside. 

_Click._

“What the-” Seungkwan muttered. He hears the noise again. Maybe it’s the coke messing with my mind, he thinks. A pair of hands snake around his waist.

“Come back to bed.” Hansol slurred, nose nuzzling against Seungkwan’s neck. “The bed's getting cold without you.”

“I thought- nevermind.” Seungkwan decided it was nothing besides who would be out at 1am anyway. He groans at the kisses Hansol is planting on the back of his neck.

“So the bed's getting cold, huh.” Seungkwan said teasingly. “I wonder how I can change that.”

Hansol kisses him. “Hmmm I think of many ways how you can.”

Seungkwan pushes him down on the bed. “Well let’s find out then.”

Little did Seungkwan know there was hooded figure standing across from their apartment complex with a camera in their hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Get a boyfriend.” 
> 
> “Or how about I take yours.” 
> 
> Foreshadowing perhaps....


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I present to you a Mingyu POV chapter

“Just when I thought you’re couldn’t find more ways to disappoint me, you do something dumb like this.” Donghyuck- his agent- scolded Mingyu from the rearview mirror.

“Ugh I didn’t even do anything wrong.” Mingyu said, rubbing his head against the cool window. “It was my friend that wanted to do the coke, not me.”

“But you did it, nonetheless.” Donghyuck hissed. “How can you be so reckless, so irresponsible.”

Mingyu rolled his eyes. “Oh my god you sound like my father. I literally only snorted a small amount why you’re acting like I’m an addict or something.”

Donghyuck sighed, deciding it useless arguing with his client while he was in this state. “Who gave you the drugs anyway?”

“Someone slipped it into my pockets while I was at the club.” Mingyu lied. He wasn’t sure why he was lying when he could’ve just told the truth. On the other hand, he didn’t feel like listening to the 5 hour rant his agent would have gone on if he knew Jaehyun was the one who did it. “Anyways I’m starving, can you drive to McDonald’s.”

“Sit back in your seat and no I’m not driving to McDonald’s.” Donghyuck said hotly. “I’m taking your drunk and strung out ass home and once you’re sober in the morning we can discuss your actions.”

The agent pulls in front of a fancy apartment. “Also you have potential movie roles coming up so I suggest you get your shit together will you.”

“Whatever.” Mingyu muttered, stumbling out of the car. Once his annoying ass agent is gone, he gets into the elevator making his way up to his penthouse. He fumbly searched inside his pants pocket for his keys. He opens the door thinking about his warm bed that’s calling him. He takes off his shoes making a dash for his bedroom but then a light turns on his living room.

“Hello lover.”

Mingyu froze. 

There’s a man sitting in the recliner with a big smile on his face as he casually titled his head to the side, staring at Mingyu with a devilish glint in his eyes.

“Uh..how did you get in here.” Mingyu said nervously. He slowly backed away until he bumped into the dresser.

The man got up from the recliner walking towards Mingyu. “You shouldn't be worried about hows at the minute, don’t you think.” He’s now standing in front of the actor,his breath ghosting over his head.

“I-I was just about to go to bed so can you like back off, thanks.” Mingyu said hastily, trying to push the man away but the other grabbed his wrists.

“Now we both know you don’t want me to leave.” The man sneered, right hand traveling down to Mingyu’s crotch area. “But I know exactly what you need.”

Mingyu didn’t have time to say anything before the man suddenly grabbed his cock grinning at him. 

“I-huh maybe-” Mingyu stammered at the touch of the man stroking him. “I don’t think-”

“Shh just relax ok. I know this makes you feel better.” The man breathed into his ear, stroking more ferociously. “I know how to make you feel better, remember.”

“I dont- shit.” Mingyu moaned at the stokes. So much for trying to resist, he thought. He can feel himself eject right into the man’s hand. He leaned against the dresser while the man was still stroking him. He hated how his body was working against him and he especially hated himself for enjoying this.

Once it was over, the man lightly patted Mingyu's right cheek. “Good boy, now let’s get you to bed.” 

And Mingyu hated how weak he can be sometimes.

<>

“Why are you still here.” Mingyu groaned, drowsily walking into the kitchen. He can now feel the effects of last night’s starting to kick in. At this point all he wanted to do was go back to bed and sleep.

“Well good morning to you Mr. Sunshine.” Jaehyun said happily. “I got you coffee and those bagels you’re like from that bakery.”

“I don’t want coffee and bagels, I want you to get out of my apartment.” Mingyu said, sitting down at the kitchen counter with his hand in his face.

Jaehyun shakes his head in mock disbelief. “You give someone a handjob and their wanna be disrespectful. A thank you would be nice y’know.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that.” Mingyu hissed at him. “Now get out.”

“So did you guys really snort it?”

“Yes and it’s all your fault by the way.” Mingyu replied flatly. 

Jaehyun swung an arm around Mingyu’s shoulder. “C’mon Gyu you know you wanna do it. Besides it’s just coke chill.”

Mingyu pushes his arm off. “Tell that to my agent who almost chewed my head off when he found out and if he found out it was you who provided it to me.”

“Whatever anyway it was good seeing Seungkwan again I see he still has that thick ass but that hot blonde whew he looked yummy.”

“Don’t objectify Seungkwan and don’t talk about Hansol like that.” Mingyu said hotly. 

“Hansol... oh yes that’s his name. Let’s talk about the way you two were dancing last night. I have never so much passion and lust in a dance. The way you’re was grinding against him.” Jaehyun sneered

“Seungkwan was dancing with us too.” Mingyu argued back. “Stop starting shit and get out of my apartment.”

“The more you deny it, the more you’re making yourself miserable.” Jaehyun said. 

Mingyu put his hands over his ears because he didn’t want to hear what else this idiot has to say. “Ugh why are you like this? You seriously like the most annoying person in the world and the fact you refuse to leave my apartment.”

Jaehyun smirked, yanking Mingyu’s hand away from his ear. “Fine I’ll leave but you can’t deny the fact.” He brings his mouth close to Mingyu’s ear. “That you want to fuck that hot blonde and to be honest I don’t blame you.”

Once Jaehyun is gone, Mingyu puts his head in his arms letting out a frustrated sigh.

He hated how Jaehyun can be right sometimes.

<>

“So after the Gucci shoots are over with, I was thinking maybe you should consider taking these roles, the scripts seem decent.” 

“I’ll pass.” Mingyu said, scrolling absentmindedly through his phone.

“You haven't even looked at them.”

“I know all of them are comedies so what’s the point.” Mingyu replied lazily.

Donghyuck eyebrows raised. “The last comedy you were in did well at theaters. Critics highly praised your performance.”

“I wanna do more dramas.” Mingyu said promptly. “I thought I was the leading contender for ‘The Deep End of the ocean’ whatever happened to that?”

“Well that role was taken by someone else.” Donghyuck replied hesitantly.

“By who?”

“Cha Eunwoo.”

Mingyu almost dropped his phone.

“What the fuck since when does he do dramas.” He said angrily. “Is he the reason why I haven’t gotten any drama roles recently because he keeps taking all of them.”

“I don’t know and I honestly don’t know why you hate him so much.”

“I have my reasons not to like him.” Mingyu said darkly. He remembered back in high school how Eunwoo can charm his way out of getting out of trouble. Sometimes it slightly scared Mingyu how Eunwoo could easily get people to do what he wanted so it was no surprise to him that Eunwoo could land acting roles so quickly. What Eunwoo wants, Eunwoo gets he thought bitterly.

Mingyu gets up from his chair. “I take one of these stupid roles since I don’t have a choice ok so are we done here. Can I go?”

“Not yet. I have one more thing to tell you.. It’s about your father.”

Mingyu folded his arms. “ What about him?”  
“He wants to talk to you.”

“About what?” Mingyu and his father didn’t have the best father-son relationship. Every time they got together, the old geezer would lecture him about how he needs to settle down with a wholesome girl and have kids so that they would live in a little house with a wooden picket fence- the usual bullshit.

Donghyuck sighed. “I know you and your father don’t see eye to eye but he’s my brother and you’re my nephew I just wish you two could at least try finding a way to get along with each other.”

“Maybe if he wasn’t so judgmental of everything I did we could.” Mingyu stated, hand on the doorknob.

He wonders if it’s possible to fire family members.

<>

Inside his car, Mingyu pulls out his lighter and lights the joint. He leaned back in his seat, eyes closed. He thinks about how Jaehyun and Eunwoo are both in Korea now which he assumes isn’t a coincidence ; they here for a reason and he’s going find out why. 

Mingyu takes a puff from the joint, he mind wanders to that time him and Hansol got high in his yacht and how they almost-

No, don't think about that, he thought. It’s wrong, he’s your friend. He thinks back to what Jaehyun told him this morning.

_“You’re can’t deny the fact you’re want to fuck him.”_

But Mingyu can, he doesn’t have any feelings for Hansol. Hansol is Seungkwan’s boyfriend. Hansol and Seungkwan love each other. Mingyu is just a supportive friend, he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize his friendship with either of them.

_Remember the way they looked at each other last night, you wish you were in Seungkwan’s place._ The little voice in his head said.

“No.” Mingyu muttered to himself. “Seungkwan is my best friend. I knew him before Hansol. I wouldn’t hurt him.”

But remember that time in high school when you and Seungkwan-. The same little voice said.

But that was different. Mingyu thought, having an inner argument with himself. We were just kids back then. This is different.

_Is it?_

Mingyu took another puff of his joint. His mind felt like a jumble mess. Suddenly his phone rings, he looks at the caller ID. It’s Hansol.

Hansollie: Dude I’m over here having a music crisis. I’m literally freaking out. SOS.

Mingyu stares at the message chucking to himself. He’s being silly. Hansol is just his friend. He gotta keep reminding himself that.

_Hansol is a friend of mine._

_A friend of mine_

_A friend of-_

But then the realization hits Mingyu so hard.

A friend of mine who I may have feelings for.


	15. Chapter 15

“I feel like shit.” Seungkwan groaned,walking into the kitchen. “How do you not feel the same way.”

Hansol shrugged. “Maybe after years of drinking, my body has adjusted to whatever I put in my system.”

Seungkwan put his head down on the counter. “If I ever decide to do something stupid like that again, please shake some common sense into me.”

“Don’t worry I’m sure you learned your lesson about never doing drugs again.” Hansol consoled, rubbing soothing on his boyfriend’s back. 

“Truly.” Seungkwan lifted his head and put his fingers to his temple. “At least I don’t have to work today that’s at least one good thing.” 

Seungkwan has been looking forward to this day ever since his boss announced it. He was in dire need of some relaxation which he hoped to accomplish at the day spa.

“It sucks you can’t come with me.” Seungkwan pouted, sitting in his boyfriend’s lap, arms wrapped around him.

“Awww I know but you know I gotta work on my mixtape.” Hansol said, stroking Seungkwan’s hair. “Besides I gotta recharge my body from last night.”

Seungkwan’s eyes linger on the marks that litter the entirety of Hansol’s neck. He felt a little guilty for doing that.

“Was I really that wild in bed?” Seungkwan asked, using his finger to trace the marks. Honestly he couldn’t remember much from last night. Everything felt like a blur.

Hansol chuckled, pulling Seungkwan closer to him. “You know I love it when you turn into a wild beast in the bedroom. Why would you even ask that question.”

“Because sometimes it feels like I get carried away when I don’t mean to.” Seungkwan said quietly. 

“Carried away? Don’t be ridiculous if something bothered me I would definitely tell you immediately.” Hansol said, kissing him on his forehead. 

Seungkwan wraps his arms around Hansol’s neck. “Are you sure?”

“Positively.” Hansol smiled, kissing him again.

<>

“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay by yourself for two days?” Seungkwan asked, his suitcases right by him. 

Hansol rolled his eyes. “Kwannie I’m a boy I’m sure I’m capable of being at home by myself without adult supervision.” 

“Ha funny but I wish you came with me.” Seungkwan pouted. “I’m gonna be lonely without you for these next two days.” 

“Ugh I know.” Hansol said, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “But at least it’s only gonna be for two days. You deserve to be pampered and I can’t wait until you come back looking all sexy and cute at the same time.” 

“Hmmm I know you’re going like that.” Seungkwan said seductively, thumb stroking Hansol’s bottom lip. “If I don’t get going, I might end up staying for round two.” 

“And I wouldn’t have a problem with that,” Hansol said jokingly.

Seungkwan playfully pushed him before giving him a swift kiss on the lips “I’ll text you later, behave yourself while I’m gone.” 

Hansol stares out the window at the car driving away. He turns back around looking at his laptop sitting on the coffee table. He let out a sigh.

Time to get to work.

After two hours of constantly changing lyrics and hooks ( also five glasses of rum), Hansol felt frustrated. He didn’t think producing another mixtape could be this hard but that’s exactly what it felt. He didn’t understand why he was having trouble, he didn’t experience these issues with his first mixtape so why now is he having a hard time. 

Hansol raked his hands through his hair causing the ends to stand up. He let out another sigh before pouring his sixth glass. Once he drowned it,he poured his seventh glass. Hansol wonders if he should calm down on his alcohol consumption. On the other hand it’s not like he’s an alcoholic he knows his limit plus his drinking doesn’t bother Seungkwan. 

Hansol picks up his phone scrolling through his contracts. His first instinct to call Jihoon since the other helped him a lot on his first mixtape and knows more about songwriting than him, But then his eyes fell on another number. With his thumb hover the number he thinks for a minute. Suppose this is a bad idea. I mean what does he even know about music, Hansol thought. He makes a decision and texts the number. It only took for a second for him to get a reply.

**On my way :)**

Hansol leaned back on the couch closing his eyes. He needed a break and a good massage. He’s starting to think maybe he should have gone with Seungkwan to that spa. Within twenty minutes there’s a knock at the door. Hansol got up dragging himself to the door. 

“Wow you look like shit.” 

“Jeez thanks for the comment.” Hansol said sarcastically, moving out of the way to let Mingyu who had a bag in his. “What’s in the bag?” he asked.

“Chinese takeout.” Mingyu replied, holding the bag. “Wasn’t sure if you were hungry or not.”

Now that Hansol thinks about it he was hungry, Mingyu placed the chopsticks and cartons on the table turning his attention back to Hansol. 

“So you summon me here because you’re having a music crisis?”

“Yeah.” Hansol groaned. running a hand through his hair. “It took me literally a hour just to finish one song and now I’m struggling with the second one. I’m not feeling the beat or the lyrics. How am I supposed to produce a 13 track mixtape by next Friday if I can’t get past two songs.” he sighed, flopping down the couch grabbing the takeout carton from the table.

“Lemme listen.” Mingyu said, sliding the laptop towards him. He puts the earplugs into his ear listening to the song with his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. After twenty minutes,he takes the earplugs out of his ears. “Ah I think I know what the problem is.”

Hansol raised his eyebrows. “You do?”

“Yep.” Mingyu exclaimed, typing on the laptop at rapid speed. “Here, listen now.”

Hansol inserting the earplugs in his ear, eyes widened. “Holy shit dude this sounds amazing. It literally only took you 20 minutes to fix a problem that I was dealing with for two hours.”

“I know.” Mingyu said, looking proud of himself. “The lyrics weren’t the main problem, it was that beat was way off. At least I had the chance to finally use my music skills.”

Hansol gives him a puzzled look, “Your music skills? I didn’t even think you knew anything about music.”

“Before I got into acting and modeling, I had a short lived music career as a rapper.” Mingyu said. “But of course my father didn’t like that but he doesn’t approve of anything I do.” he laughed bitterly.

“Really?” Hansol asked.

“Yeah.” Mingyu replied, digging his chopstick into his shrimp fried rice. “You would have thought all the positive criticism I get from my acting roles and the fact that I’m on most magazine covers he would at least be proud but nooo he’s still pissed off about the fact.” he puts his fingers in air quotes. “That I didn’t follow in his footsteps in the medical field and become a well renowned doctor like him. Oh I did forget to mention he’s totally against me being in same sex relationships.”

“Wow, your dad is quite a character.” Hansol said, shaking his head.

“What about your parents? Do they support your music career?”

Hansol shrugged. “They kinda chill about it as long as what I’m doing makes me happy. They always told me and my sister that whatever path we decide to take they were going to support us.”

“It is too late to switch parents.” Mingyu chortled.

“Uh actually my parents got a divorce when I was 15. At first I didn’t take it well because obviously I was a teenager at that time but as I got older I started to understand why they didn’t want to be each other sometimes- ow fuck.” he said angrily as he rubbing the arching spot on his back.

“What’s wrong?”

“My back is bothering me. I mean I’m not surprised since I was houching over my laptop all morning.” Hansol said. He can feel a slight crick in his neck.

Mingyu rubbed his hands together. “I forget to tell you that I’m also an expert at giving good massages. Turn around.”

“Eh that’s ok.” Hansol said in a hesitant voice. “It doesn’t hurt that to be hone-”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Mingyu interrupted him. “C’mon let me put my skills to test.”

Hansol compiled and turned around with his back to Mingyu. He can feel the other’s hands on his shoulder gently massaging. Hansol would be lying if he said it didn’t feel good. He closed his eyes as Mingyu’s hands went from his shoulders to the lower part of his back. 

“You’re really tense.” Mingyu whispered into his ear. “Just relax and enjoy this.”

And that’s what Hansol did. Every touch on his back felt so good. He didn’t even think it was possible for a massage to feel this good. 

“God you weren't kidding when you said you were a massage expert.” Hansol groaned, melting into the touches. “Feels like I’m in cloud nine.”

Mingyu chuckled. “Glad to hear that. Listen how about I help you with your mixtape if that’s cool with you of course.”

“Yeah yeah whatever.” Hansol was clearly distracted by the hands touching his back to understand what the latter just said. 

“You and me.” Mingyu leaned even closer into Hansol’s ear. “Can make beautiful music together, don’t you agree?”

Hansol merely nodded. Suddenly he feels something going on in the lower part of his body. He looks down, that's when he realizes with horrorstuck in his eyes.

_He’s getting hard._

“Shit.” Hansol muttered, he gets up quickly from the couch clutching his stomach.

“Hansol, what's wrong. Are you alright?” Mingyu asked, clearly taken back by the other’s sudden behavior.

“Yeah I-I’m just feeling a little sick.” Hansol lied, still doubling over hiding his erection. “Must be from the Chinese food.”

“Oh.” Mingyu said in a worried tone. “Do you want me to stay?”

“No no no.” Hansol said quickly. “I’ll be fine, can you just leave.” He didn’t mean to sound that rude but he really wanted Mingyu to leave.

“Are you sure be-”

Hansol cuts him off. “Yes yes I’m sure.”

“Alright, text me later when you feel better I guess.” 

Once Mingyu is gone, Hansol runs to the bedroom closing the door leaning against it. He stares at his erection feeling embarrassed. He can’t believe this just happened. His phone starts to vibrate in his pocket, he checks to see who it is. It’s Seungkwan.

Hansol lets out a sigh. His hand going into his pants.

Never in his life had he felt so ashamed as he did now.


	16. Chapter 16

“Wow,this is probably the most fancy looking spa I have ever seen.” Jun said in awe.

Seungkwan silently agreed with him. Not only was the day spa exquisite, it was massive. The glass ceiling is embellished with floral designs with sunlight gleaming down. The walls were beige colored with golden chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Men and women dressed in light blue uniforms were busy moving around helping guests. Seungkwan and Jun approached the front desk where a woman wearing a light blue blouse and skirt was standing typing on a computer. They both handed her the coupon that Wonwoo gave them.

“Follow me.” She smiled leading them down a hallway. “These are your rooms, room 14 and room 20.” She gives the two males their keys. “I hope you enjoy your stay.” The receptionist politely bowed and left.

Seungkwan opens the door to his room. There is a warm and comfortable aura about the room. Golden lights are beamed from the wall lights. There is white couch on the right side of the room while a huge flat screen TV hangs on the wall on the left side of the room. The bed is in the center of the room with three clean white towels laying neatly on top. He puts his bags down right by the bed heading to the bathroom. The bathroom walls are light covered just like the bedroom even the toilet is the same color. There’s an assortment of shampoos, conditioners and body wash lined up perfectly on the counter. Seungkwan runs his hand on the counter leaning against it.

Yeah I’m in love with this place, he thought.

<>

“Okay so what are we going to do first.” Jun said, scrolling the brochure. “The facial treatment or the pedicure and manicure set or we could-”`

“Hold up we shouldn’t do everything on the same day. We are here for two days so I say we should start day 1 with massages and day 2 we could do everything else.” Seungkwan said. 

Jun puts his hand to his forehead giving a salute. “Whatever you say, boss.”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes at him. “I’m not your boss.”

“That’s what you said but I beg to differ. Look who’s here.” Jun said, nudging his friend’s side.

Seungkwan turns around and sees Wonwoo talking to a staff member. It was weird seeing his boss not wearing his usual business suits instead he had on a short sleeved button down red shirt and white khaki shorts with brown sandals on his feet.

“Holy fuck he looks so good I mean he always look good but he really really looks good.” Jun said in a hushed tone, clutching Seungkwan’s arm “How can someone look so good all the damn time.”

“Will you calm down,” Seungkwan said, shaking his thirsty friend off him. “Every time he’s around you turn into a hormonal teenager.”

“You will too if your boss was extremely good looking. Don’t tell me you never thought?”

“First off he is my boss and second he looks alright I guess.”

Jun gives him an incredulous look. “Just alright? Dating one guy for five years really got you thinking differently ”

Seungkwan didn’t have a chance to retort back because Wonwoo is heading towards them.

“Glad you could make it.” He smiled. “Do you guys like the place? I only wanna give the best for my workers.”

Seungkwan nodded eagerly. “We love it, sir. This place is speculated.”

Wonwoo chuckled. “No need to call me sir while we are not at work, just Wonwoo.”

“Can I call you daddy though.” Jun said innocently, battling his eyelashes.

Seungkwan covers his mouth with his hand trying to muffle his laughter at the baffled look Wonwoo gives Jun.

“Honestly you never fail me to disappoint me Jun.” The boss said, shaking his head in disbelief. “But since this isn’t the workplace, I’m gonna let your nonsensical comment pass for now. So what are you two doing today?”

“Getting massages.” Seungkwan replied. 

“Ok, have fun.” Wonwoo smiled and walked away.

“I hate to see him go,” Jun remarked, staring at Wonwoo’s rear end. “But boy do I love to watch him leave.”

<>

Seungkwan and Jun headed to the massage parlor. Jun wanted to get a foot massage while Seungkwan decided to opt for a back massage. He is led to a small room where a smiling young woman is waiting for him. He lays face down on the massage table.

“Any oils in particular?” She asked

“Not really.” Seungkwan replied.

It only took a couple of minutes for Seungkwan to feel the effects of the oil on his back and damn it felt. The door opens up again and another employee is directing a newcomer to a massage not too far from Seungkwan’s. He doesn’t see who it is because his head is turned in the other direction.

“Is there any way I can leave you a tip because you’re really doing a damn good job.” Seungkwan muttered. This isn’t his first time getting a massage but the masseuse is working on the spots that bothered him.

“Of course you can.” The woman chuckled. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

“Seungkwan?”

Seungkwan turns his neck to see the person who called his name. It’s Wonwoo.

“What a surprise to see you here.” His boss beamed at him. “Small world,huh.”

Seungkwan nodded. “Couldn’t agree more.” He closed his eyes as the masseuse was working on the lower part of his back causing Seungkwan to let out a couple of moans. He opens his eyes to see Wonwoo is glaring at him with an unreadable expression on his face.   
Seungkwan suddenly feels embarrassed because he just realized how loud he is.

“I’m sorry.” Seungkwan said with a slight blush on his face. “I-I didn’t realize I was being that loud.”

“Don’t apologize.” Wonwoo said, giving him a smile. “If enjoying yourself by all means don’t let my presence stop you.”

“Okay.” Seungkwan mumbled, closing his eyes again. “I just wanna say thank you again for this.”

“Of course anything for my best employee and senior executive.” Wonwoo said. His lingers to Seungkwan’s exposed upper body.

Anything for you, he thought.

<>

Now that Seungkwan feels refreshed, he heads back to his room flopping down on the bed. He pulls out his phone to call Hansol when there’s a knock on his door. He rolled his eyes thinking it’s Jun who's coming by to annoy him but when he opens the door to his surprise it’s Wonwoo.

“Am I dropping by at the wrong time?” Wonwoo asked

“Of course not.” Seungkwan replied, moving out of the way to let his boss in. “I was just about to call my boyfriend to check how he’s doing.”

“Boyfriend huh.” Wonwoo sits down on the couch. “How long have you two been together?”

“Five years.” Seungkwan replied, sitting down right by him. “Are you in a relationship?”

“I was, Me and wife ,well now ex-wife, we were together for 10 years. We have two daughters. But after so many years together, we just kinda started drifting apart.”

“Oh I’m sorry to hear that.” Seungkwan said.

Wonwoo waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t be, sometimes people are not meant to be with each other, there’s always someone else out there waiting just for you. Fate works in mysterious ways.” he smiled placing a hand on Seungkwan’s thigh.

“I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this but you’re one of a kind, Boo Seungkwan.” Wonwoo said, gliding his hand up and down on the other’s thigh.

“Thank you sir- I mean Wonwoo.” Seungkwan said. He thinks about all the people that used to say that to him: his parents, friends, and-

No, he thought, don't think about him. Not now.

Seungkwan notices Wonwoo’s hand is still on his thigh and he’s still smiling. Seungkwan feels that same heat feeling on the back of his neck anytime his boss compliments him. Seungkwan isn’t sure why he gets flustered when Wonwoo says things like this. Wonwoo is his boss and it’s not like he’s attracted to him or anything. Seungkwan stretched his arms letting out a fake yawn.

“Wow it’s kinda getting late.” he lied. “I’m getting tired.”

“Oh, okay.” Seungkwan can hear the disappointment in Wonwoo’s voice. “Well good night.” He stood up to walk towards the door but with his hand on the doorknob he turned to look back at Seungkwan. “If you ever want to talk again about anything,don’t hesitate to reach out to me, okay?”

Seungkwan nodded. “Of course. Good night si-Wonwoo.”

“Good night, Seungkwan.” Wonwoo gives him a warm smile and leaves.

Seungkwan gets up from the couch and flops down on the bed grabbing his phone from the nightstand. He wonders why Wonwoo suddenly wants to get to know him. Is it because he wants to be his friend? Yeah that’s probably it, Seungkwan thinks, because what other reason would it be. He sighed as he dialed his boyfriend’s number. The phone rings a couple of times until Hansol finally answers.

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?” Seungkwan asked, sitting cross legged on the bed.

“Uh, nothing really y’know just chillin.”

Seungkwan furrowed his brows. “Why does your voice sound funny? Is everything ok?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“You're breathing weird. What are you really doing?”

Seungkwan can hear Hansol sigh. “It’s just that….don’t make fun of me but….I’m jerking off.” he replied sheepishly.

Seungkwan’s eyes widened. “What really? You're doing it like right now.”

“Yes right now.” Hansol breathed. “It’s just that I’m having a problem y’know getting to that _point._ ”

“Hmm do you need some assistance.” Seungkwan suggested seductively, laying down on his side. “I would be glad to help you with your big problem.”

“And what do you have in mind?” Hansol asked.

“Hmmm how about dirty talk?”

“Okay hurry up because I’m so close.” Hansol muttered. “And I really need your help.”

“Sollie.”

“Yeah?”

“I just want to say that I love you so much.” Seungkwan said. He really mean it 

“Oh yeah I love you too now back to my important problem at hand.”

Seungkwan chuckled. “Of course.”

Seungkwan doesn’t know what he would do without Hansol in his life.

<>

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Jun asked Seungkwan as they left the health bar.

“Yes I’m sure.” Seungkwan replied. It was their last day here at the day spa and while Jun chose to head to the pool, Seungkwan wanted to go to the sauna. He needed to sweat away all the stress he’s been dealing with for the last couple of weeks. There’s ten separate saunas that can hold up to 3 to 5 people, Seungkwan heading to the last one which is empty. He opens the door and a blast of heat makes contact with his face. It’s not that hot as he thought it was going to be. He sits down on the bench leaning back on the wall with his eyes closed.

He thinks about that has happened to him from the murder he witnessed in the alleyway to the Hansol situation to the encounter with Jaehyun at the club. Even through all of those things, Mingyu was always there. Seungkwan may be lucky to have Hansol as his boyfriend but he was luckier to have Mingyu as his best friend. A best friend that has been there for him through the lowest points in his life. 

Seungkwan is starting to feel the heat more. He wipes sweat off his forehead as he stands up getting ready to leave. He pushes the door but it wouldn’t open, he tries again yet it wouldn’t. He frowned as he pushed his shoulder against the door, sweat pouring down on his bare back. Seungkwan could have sworn it was getting hotter by the minute as he desperately pushed his hands against the door. The smoke from the sauna is overtaking him, he can feel himself slowly started to get weak.

“Help…” Seungkwan said feebly as he slid down against the door. It felt like the room is starting to spin and he’s having a hard time breathing.

The next thing he knew everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do y'all really think I was gonna let Seungkwan have a relaxation time at a spa without some shit happening lol


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you a big fan of Gyusol (I think that's the name???) you'll probably like this chapter
> 
> If you anti-Gyusol ....well you're gonna be mad about the last part of this chapter lol

“Hey hyung, can I tell you something?”

“Sure what is it?” Jihoon asked, looking up from his laptop.

“Well.” Hansol leaned in on the table so no one could hear them. “Yesterday, Mingyu came over to help me with my mixtape and my back started to hurt so he offered to give me a massage. Let's just say that... something happened.”

“And what exactly happened?” 

“Uh.” Hansol whispered, leaning in closer. “I got hard.”

“You got hard? Did I hear that correctly?”

“Yes and I got so embarrassed that I told him to get so that I can y'know...deal with the situation.”

“Jeez, Hansol besides the fact of you getting a boner.” Jihoon said in a slightly raised voice (which earned him a scornful look from Hansol) “I don’t understand what you’re freaking out about, if someone was giving me a good massage I’ll probably react the same way. It’s not like you attracted to him or something.”

Jihoon went back to typing but when the last part of his sentence was met with silence he looked up at his friend again, eyebrows raised.

“Please don’t tell me you’re li-”

“What no.” Hansol said quickly. “Dude of course not, he's like my friend, you know that I don’t like him like that.”

“Good.” Jihoon said. “Because the last thing I need right now is drama and your emotional drunk ass shown up to my place late at night.”

Hansol rolled his eyes. “Whatever, what are you even doing on that laptop anyway.” he decided to change the subject for his own sake. 

“I’m working on my music if you must know.” Jihoon replied. “You’re not the only one with music ambitions.”

Hansol leaned back against his chair with his arms folded. “Yeah but your songs are so depressing is it because they are about that ex of yours.”he smirked.

“Shut the fuck up, it’s because I like to put my feelings in my songs and not of them are about my past relationships or that bastard.”

“Speaking of that bastard, how come you never introduced me to him when you two were together, huh? Was you that ashamed?”

“No.” Jihoon replied, looking at the laptop screen. “It’s just that...well you wouldn’t like him anyway. He wasn’t worth the time, fucking asshole.”

“But you never explain why you broke up with him though.” Hansol pointed out.

Jihoon slammed his laptop shut. “Tell me something, Hansol, have you ever experienced a break up before?”

Hansol runs a hand through his hair. “Uh yeah back in high school with this girl but we were only together for like three weeks.” Despite a couple of failed dates and casual hookups, being with Seungkwan is his first serious relationship.

“So you don’t understand then when you put your trust and feelings into someone just for that person to hurt you so bad and leave you feeling empty. Love is one thing but hurt...is a whole other type of experience.”

“Dude I’m sor-”

Jihoon interrupted him. “Don’t be sorry because like I say before I’m done with him. He’s like an afterthought I don’t give a shit about anymore.” He stood up. “I should get going.”

“Wait where are you going? Aren’t you coming to Mingyu’s studio with me.” Hansol said, after what happened last night he didn’t feel comfortable being alone with Mingyu.

Jihoon quirked his brows. “He has a studio? Why does an actor need a recording studio?”

Hansol shrugged. “Don’t know but c’mon please come with me.”

“Fine.” Jihoon sighed. “Just stop begging it makes you look pathetic.”

As both males made their way out of the cafe, Hansol accidentally bumped into someone. The person’s face was concealed by a hood pulled all the way down on their face. Hansol noticed the camera on the floor that the stranger dropped.

“Hey sorry here.” he hands the camera to the individual. The stranger snatched the camera from Hansol’s hands and mumbled some incoherent words while looking at the floor. The stranger scurried away to a table way in the back. Hansol furrowed his brows not because of the strange encounter but he could’ve sworn he saw that same black hoodie before specifically a week ago when he and Mingyu left Greenhouse Records and he thought someone took a picture of them.

“Are we leaving or what?” Jihoon asked impatiently from the doorway.

“Huh.” Hansol snapped out of his thoughts. “Uh, yeah.” He decided to shake his paranoia off. A lot of people wear black hoodies.

Besides he had other priorities to deal with. Mostly one priority with a name.

<>

“Wow.” Is all Hansol could say looking at the massive studio. There’s a booth with microphones and mic. Outside the booth there’s state in art computers and audio mixing consoles . On the side of the room, there’s studio monitors on the walls with a couch in the center. Needless to say Hansol has never seen a recording studio like this even Jihoon looked impressed. 

“Like what you see.” 

Both of them turned around to see Mingyu leaning against the door, amusement in his eyes as he watched their reactions.

“I know you say you’ve a studio but you didn’t say like this.” Hansol said in an almost accusation tone. “This is the type of shit famous musicians used.”

Mingyu chucked. “Yeah well remember when I told you that I wanted to be a rapper. I may have also wanted a studio too. I nearly drove the interior designer to tears.”

“Yeah yeah enough chatting, can we get down to business already.” Jihoon said, settling down in the studio chair adjusting the amps.

Hansol simply rolled his eyes at Mingyu before walking into the studio booth. Mingyu pulled up a chair right by Jihoon.

Jihoon pressed a button on the console. “Alright are you already.”

Hansol put up two thumbs to indicate he’s already. He feels kinda nervous because not only could this mixtape change his life, it could potentially make him famous. Hansol imagines himself standing in the center of sold out stadium people cheering loudly for him and Seungkwan standing in the front cheering the loudest with a wide grin on his face.

Hansol takes a deep breath readjusting the headphones on his head. He has to push that nervous feeling away. This is his moment. He only got one chance to prove himself and he’s not going to ruin it.

<>

“He’s really talented.” Mingyu remarked. He can feel the emotions in every rap Hansol belted out it was like he was telling a story through his songs. He sounded better than most mainstream rappers who clearly couldn’t rap or write their songs. “So how long have you been his producer.”

When his question is met with silence, he turns to Jihoon who has headphones on fiddling with the buttons on the mixing board with a concentration look on his face. Mingyu taps the latter on his shoulder to get his attention.

Jihoon pulled his headphones down. “What?” he asked in an irritated tone.

“I said how long have you been his producer” Mingyu repeated his question.

“Oh, ever since his freshman year of college.”

Mingyu widened his eyes. “Wow I knew he was dedicated to his goal but I didn’t think it would be that long.”

Jihoon shrugged. “Yeah well Hansol is a driven person who works hard for what he wants anyway I think we should call it a day.” he pressed a button. “Okay Hansol you can come out now.”

Hansol walked out of the booth. “Well?”

“The beats and hooks are alright but your verses could be a little bit better, you sounded kinda flat in some of them.”

Mingyu frowned. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit judgmental? I thought his verses sounded alright.”

Jihoon crossed his arms. “Are you telling me, a person who majored in music, that I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“He’s right, Gyu.” Hansol said. “If I get signed, I’m gonna be dealing with critics with harsher opinions.”

“What do you mean by ‘if’, you are gonna get signed. That CEO would be crazy not to sign someone as talented as you. You're gonna have these fake rappers shaken when you arrive on the scene.”

Hansol smiled at him. “You think so?” 

“I don’t think.” Mingyu said, hooking his arm around Hansol’s. “I know. You’re so gifted and a lyrical genius.” he added playfully stoking Hansol’s hair. There’s a knock at the door.

“That’s the delivery person, I almost forgot I ordered pizza.” Mingyu stated, heading to the door.

“Uh, Hansol, can I talk to you for a minute.” Jihoon gestured his head to a corner of the room where a piano was.

“Sure, what’s up.”

“You need to be careful.” Jihoon said in a concerned tone, staring at Mingyu paying the delivery guy.

“Careful of what?”

“Of Mingyu.” Jihoon replied in a low voice.

Hansol wanted to laugh. “And why should I be careful? Do you think he’s gonna kill me or something.” he smirked.

“No it’s just that I don't know I get weird vibes from him.”

“Weird vibes?” Hansol couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Do you not remember the Bruno Mars concert we went to last month you didn’t have a problem with him then.”

Jihoon sighed. “Listen all I’m saying is you shouldn’t trust him that’s all.”

“What do-”

“What are you two whispering about in the corner.” Mingyu said.

“Nothing.” Jihoon replied. “Sorry I can’t stay, I got business to attend to.” he gives Hansol a knowing look before walking out of the door.

“Looks like it’s just the two of us.” Mingyu grinned,flopping down on the couch grabbing a pizza box.

With Jihoon’s warning still in his head, Hansol sat down putting a distance between them. He’s still not sure why his friend would tell him he shouldn’t trust Mingyu. He’s Seungkwan’s friend and it’s not like Seungkwan would be friends with someone who isn’t trustworthy. Hansol decides Jihoon is being ridiculous, he has nothing to worry about. 

“Why’re you sitting so far away, come closer.” Mingyu patted the spot near him.

“Um that’s ok I’m fine over here.” Hansol lied.

“Don’t be silly.” Mingyu said, taking hold of Hansol’s wrist to pull him closer. He grabs a slice of pepperoni pizza. “Now open your mouth.”

“Huh.” Hansol taken back by the strange request. “Why?”

“Because I wanna feed you.” Mingyu said as if stating the obvious.

“No tha-” his words are cut off by the hot pepperoni in his mouth. Mingyu laughed.

“You see, now you’ll feel better.” Mingyu said sweetly, he pulled another piece of pepperoni off the pizza inserting it in Hansol’s mouth. “Especially since you weren't feeling well yesterday.”

“Uh, yeah right.” Hansol wonders if he should tell Mingyu the truth. He was always told honesty is the best policy. But yet again some things should be left unsaid.

“You got some sauce on the corner of your mouth.” Mingyu said, grabbing a napkin. “Let me help get that off for you.”

“No you don’t hav-”

“No, I assist.” Mingyu interrupted him, leaning in closer to Hansol’s face.

Hansol felt an unsettling feeling in his stomach because of Mingyu’s close proximity to him. He tries to calm down. He’s just wiping your mouth, just keep your chill.

“Y’know Hansol sometimes I wonder.” Mingyu said, picking up Hansol’s hand. “While your ring finger is still empty.” he gently stroked the finger.

“It’s that me and Seungkwan haven’t really thought about y’know marriage.” Hansol said, he tries to move away but Mingyu has a firm grip on his wrist.

“Y’know if you were my this finger.” Mingyu pressed his lips to the finger, gently running his hand through Hansol’s hair. “Wouldn’t be empty because someone like you.” he edged closer to Hansol. “Deserve so much more.”

“Uh yeah well-” Hansol mumbled but his sentence was cut off when Mingyu pressed his lips to his.

Hansol is not sure how long the kiss lasted, 5 minutes or perhaps 8. The rational part of his mind is telling him to push Mingyu away, this isn’t right but as they continued the kiss got deeper and deeper to point Hansol parted his mouth so that Mingyu can slide his tongue in. Mingyu a hand to Hansol’s chest to lean him back on the couch. They finally broke apart to give each other time to breath.

“Shit.” Mingyu said, looking horrified. “I-I d-don't why I did that. I’m so sor-” he’s caught off mid sentence when Hansol grabs the front of his shirt and smashed his lips on his. Hansol grips the top of Mingyu’s hair as he can hear the latter groan into the kiss. Hansol didn’t want the kiss to end, he needed this, yes he knows this is wrong, this is wrong in all types of ways but he wanted the taste of Mingyu in his mouth, he longs for this as he bite the bottom of Mingyu’s lip causing the other to whine. Suddenly Hansol’s phone vibrates in his pocket.

“Yes.” Hansol answered while Mingyu nibbled on his left ear. “Wait what are you serious” his eyes widened as he listened. “Ok ok I’ll be there in 10 mintues.” he hangs up the phone abruptly standing up.

“What’s wrong?” Mingyu asked.

Hansol’s face went pale. “That was Jun, he said something happened with Seungkwan, he didn't say what but they are at the apartment right now. I-I gotta go.” 

“I’ll go with you.” Mingyu said, standing up.

“No that’s okay.” Hansol said hasitly. “You don’t have to.”

Mingyu slipped his hand into Hansol’s squeezing it. “Don’t say that, whatever happened you gonna need me there.”

Hansol just nodded looking at their entwined hands. In some way Mingyu is right.

He’s going to need him and that just made Hansol feel more awful.


	18. Chapter 18

“What happened? Where am I.” Seungkwan said groggily. With every syllable he tried to say, it felt like his mouth was filled with sand. Not only that, he felt dizzy and confused. He can hear voices talking around him, what they are saying he doesn’t know. He attempts to sit up but a hand on his chest prevents him. 

“Don’t try or you might faint again. Here drink.” A gentle voice said. Seungkwan realizes that voice belongs to Jun. 

Seungkwan takes the water bottle Jun gives, the cool water giving relief to his extremely dry mouth. He can feel his senses coming back a little bit. He looks around the unfamiliar room where he sees Wonwoo talking to a gray haired man.

“Where are we?” Seungkwan asked

“The spa’s manager's office.” Jun replied in that same gentle tone. “At first we were going to take you to a hospital but your body temperature was heating rapidly fast so we decided to bring you here.”

“Body temperature? I’m confused. What exactly happened?”

Jun sighed. “A spa employee was checking around the saunas when he noticed the one you were in had a unusual amount of steam spilling out from under the door. When he tried to use a key to open the door it didn’t work. He alerted the manager and he thinks someone tampered with the lock from the inside and not only that whoever did this also turned the thermostat way up. If you were in there any longer well…” he trailed off but Seungkwan knew what he was going to say.

“So are you saying that someone did this intentionally.” Seungkwan asked numbly. He couldn’t believe it. Why would someone do this to him?

“Seungkwan.”

Wonwoo is standing over him with worry in his eyes, he sits on the edge of the couch. “I just talked to the manager, he’s gonna look over the surveillance video and tell me what he finds. Are you ok? Do you want us to take you to the hospital?”

“No.” Seungkwan said, he shakily sits up on the couch. He feels lightheaded but he didn’t vocal say that not with the concerned looks that Jun and Wonwoo are giving him like he’s a patient on his deathbed. “I just want to go home.”

“Are you sure?” Wonwoo asked. Seungkwan can hear the hesitant tone in his voice.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Seungkwan reassured him. 

“I’ll take him home.” Jun nodded. They helped an unsteady Seungkwan on his feet as they headed towards the door. Once Seungkwan is inside Jun’s car, he lays his head on the cool window closing his eyes.

“I’m going to call Hansol, okay.” Jun said, pulling out his phone.

Seungkwan simply hummed to acknowledge that he understood. His eyelids slowly dropping.

<>

Seungkwan is awakened by Jun who is gently shaking him. 

“We're here.” he said, putting his hand under Seungkwan’s arm to help him out of the car. Seungkwan hands his friend the apartment key. Once inside the apartment, Seungkwan pops down on the sofa pulling his knees to his chest. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep and forgot today even happened. Jun sits right by him with a bag of ice and a water bottle.

“You still feel warm, these should help you cool down for the time being.” Jun hands his friend the items. Seungkwan placed the ice bag on his forehead and slipped from the water bottle. He can feel a little cool relief.

Seungkwan realizes that he hasn’t checked his phone all morning before the accident. He checks and sees he got a new message from an unknown number. He opened the message, there were two images attached with no captions but what he saw made his blood go cold. The first photo showed him and Jun walked into the spa. The second photo showed Jun and Wonwoo supporting him out of the spa. Someone clearly followed them there. This could have been the same person who locked Seungkwan inside the sauna. Suppose this same person knows where he lives or works. Seungkwan can feel himself starting to panic.

“What is it?” Jun asked, looking over Seungkwan’s shoulder to see the message. 

“No one, wrong number.” Seungkwan lied, he hastily put his phone away. He gets up from the sofa pulling open the curtains. He scanned the street as if he expected to see the person but all he saw was innocent pedestrians strolling down the pavements, minds carefree of worries.

“Seungkwan, you should sit back down.” Jun said. “Seungkwan?” he called again when he noticed that the other is still staring out of the window.

“Huh?” oh yeah sure.” Seungkwan mumbled flopping back down on the sofa this time with more on his mind than what he bargained for.

Suddenly the door is flung open. Hansol walks in with Mingyu trailing behind him.

“Kwannie.” he said, pulling his boyfriend into a tight hug not wanting to let him go. Hansol can feel the unusual warmness of Seungkwan’s body. “What happened?”

Jun told them. When he finishes, Hansol’s face is speechless while Mingyu puts his hand over his mouth. Hansol clutching his boyfriend even more closer to him. How could someone want to harm a precious and wonderful person like Seungkwan. His speechless soon morphs into anger.

“Where were you?” Hansol rounded on Jun. “Why weren't you with him?”

A hurt and surprise Jun responded. “Because he didn’t want me to go with him and in case you didn’t hear, even if I did, we both will end up smoking hams. If you want to put the blame on anyone it should be the person behind this, not me.”

“Who says I was blaming you.” Hansol argued back.

Jun scoffed with his arms crossed. “You literally just said why I wasn’t with him.”

“It was a question, not an accusation.” Hansol shrugged. “You were the one who interpreted it that way.”

“Guys, please.” Seungkwan said wearily, putting an end to the back and forth between the two. “Jun thank you for being with me. I think I’m gonna be fine from here.”

Jun gets up from the sofa. “I’m gonna call you later just to make sure.” As he walks towards the door he is stopped by a hand on his arm. 

“I just wanna say thank you for bringing him home. I really appreciate it.” Mingyu said quietly to Jun.

Jun glanced back at Hansol who is rubbing soothing circles on Seungkwan’s back. “No problem. Just make sure he keeps cool, will you.”

Mingyu isn’t sure if that statement was directed towards Seungkwan or Hansol.

<>

“Are you getting cold because I can turn up the thermostat? Do you want to get more blankets?”

Seungkwan gives his boyfriend a reassuring smile. “No, this is okay.” he clutched the blankets tightly around him. They lay up on the bed with Hansol holding Seungkwan in his arms. Seungkwan laid his head on his boyfriend’s chest.

“Oh, kwannie.” Hansol nuzzled his nose on top of Seungkwan’s head. “I thought I almost lost you. I honestly don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to you.”

“I could say the same about you.” Seungkwan said, tracing a finger on his boyfriend’s chest. “You mean so much to me. If God forbid something happens I’ll probably have a mental breakdown.”

There’s a knock on the door. Mingyu walks into the room with his hands in his pockets. 

“I just came by to say that I’m leaving.” He turns to leave but a hand slides into his. 

“No, don’t go. Please stay.” Seungkwan said, tugging his best friend into the bed.

“Eh, are you sure?” Mingyu asked

“Definitely. “ Even in his tired state, Seungkwan still manages to pull Mingyu down on the bed. This is what he needed right now, the warmness and protectiveness of boyfriend and best friend- the only two people that mattered to him the most. He decided to put the photos situations in the back of his head for now.

Seungkwan closes his eyes as he pulls Hansol and Mingyu closer to him. “I’m so glad to have the two of you in my life. I love you both so much.”

What Seungkwan doesn’t notice is the uneasy look Hansol and Mingyu exchange with each other.


	19. Chapter 19

It’s five o’ clock in the morning and Hansol is sitting at the kitchen counter with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He swirls the contents in the glass lost in his muddled thoughts. He thinks back to everything that occurred yesterday from kissing Mingyu in the studio to what happened with Seungkwan. Hansol feels that familiar guilt in his stomach. While he was kissing another man, his boyfriend almost lost his life. If the word awful had a picture, he knew for sure his photo would be right there. He slammed his empty glass down on the counter. 

“Couldn’t sleep either.”

He turned around to see Mingyu watching him from the doorway.

“You could say that.” Hansol muttered, pouring himself another drink. He spent most of the night tossing and turning. 

Mingyu sat down in the stool right by him. “Hansol I just wanna say that I’m-“ 

Hansol held up his hand to stop the latter from finishing his sentence. “Don’t, I know what you're going to say.” 

“But I kissed you. “ Mingyu said. “Don’t you understand I shouldn’t have done that. I feel so horrible.”

“Well I kissed you back, I could’ve pushed you away but I didn’t so what does that make me.” Hansol said bitterly, he raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Look there’s no point in keeping talking about this. Now we have to figure out where we go from here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think … we need a break from each other for both of our sakes.” It pained Hansol to say this but he had no other choice. Seungkwan needed him. 

“I understand.” Hansol can hear the hurt in Mingyu’s voice as the latter stood up. “Before I go.” he fetched inside his pocket pulling out a key. “Here’s the key to the studio. It’s available to you anytime you need it.”

“Thanks.” Hansol gives him a small smile.

Mingyu smiles back, giving Hansol’s shoulder a quick squeeze. “Goodbye, Hansol.” 

“Goodbye, Mingyu.” 

<>

“Where’s Mingyu?” Seungkwan yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“He’s gone. He left a couple of hours ago.” Hansol replied, cracking another egg into the skillet.

“Oh, well I guess I’ll call him later” Seungkwan slid into the stool grabbing the coffee pot pouring himself a cup. “I need to get ready for work anyway.” 

Hansol looks at him, brows furrowed. “Work? Kwannie did forget what happened yesterday. Are you sure you want to go to work today.”

“Yes,I’m feeling fine now,” Seungkwan said, giving his boyfriend a reassuring smile. Maybe he feels a little bit sluggish but that’s about it. 

“Ok if you say so.” Hansol said, still sounding unsure. He puts a plate of eggs and bacon in front of Seungkwan. “It’s just that I’m still stressed out about the whole incident.” 

Seungkwan leans in to give Hansol a kiss. “Sollie, I’m not some dame in distress I’m not gonna let a minor occurrence stop me from living my life.” 

Hansol frowned “I don’t consider almost being burned alive a minor occurrence.” 

“Well I didn't, now can we please drop this. What I’m about to do is get ready for work and you're gonna keep working on your music. Let’s put this whole thing behind us, okay.” 

Once Seungkwan’s is gone, Hansol pulls the studio key out of his pocket. He switched the smooth cold metal in between his fingers. 

“Music.” Hansol mumbled. “Right.” 

<>

Seungkwan realized the best part about having his own office is he doesn’t have to deal with the watchful eyes of his co-workers anymore or being struck in a small cubicle. On the outside of the dark oak wooden door there is a plaque with his name and underneath his occupation. Seungkwan felt a sense of pride seeing the senior account executive title. He worked real hard to get to this point in his career and he isn’t gonna take it for granted.

The office isn’t big but Seungkwan doesn’t care because all that matters is that this is his. He puts the file box that had his belongings in it on his desk. He’s in the process of taking the items out when there is a knock on the door. 

“Oh, I wasn’t expecting you to come in today.” Jun said, eyes widened.

“Well here I am.” Seungkwan stated. “What do you have in your hand.” he said, staring at the file folders in Jun’s hand.

“Um well I was heading to drop these off to one of the executives but since you are here.” Jun places the folders on the desk. “It’s the earnings from last year’s quarters. I already analyze them but they need to be checked over one more time.”

“Ok, thanks.” Seungkwan said. He flipped open the folder, however, he noticed that Jun was still standing there. Seungkwan raised his eyebrows.

“Yes?”

“It’s just that…” Jun grumbled, looking down at his feet rather than his friend. “Are you sure you are okay like really really sure.” he looks up at Seungkwan with worry in his eyes. 

“Jun.” Seungkwan said softly, placing a hand on the latter’s shoulder “I’m 100 % sure when I say I’m fine. You don’t have to worry anymore.” he gives Jun’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“Ok well I should get going then.” Jun said, he walked to the door with his hand on the knob. He turned back to Seungkwan with a smile on his face. “By the way, just because you’re Mr.Senior Account Executive now don’t think I’m gonna go easy on you.”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Wouldn’t expect you to.”

The rest of Seungkwan’s day went by smoothly. He managed to get most of his workload done before the afternoon. He leaned back in his chair facing the window as the sun shone brightly. He grabs his phone opening to his messages. His eyes fall on the unknown number and the images. He knows he should delete the number but then he sees the photos- _the photos of him_. If someone is truly watching him, he should at least tell someone or alert authorities but for some reason Seungkwan doesn’t. He’s tempted to text the number as his finger hovers over the number. Seungkwan decides what harm can be done finding out what this person wants from him. Biting the inside of his cheek, he pulls up the keyboard.

_Why did you take pictures of me? Who are you?_ , he typed. Seungkwan felt stupid. Why would he think this person would text him back but to his surprise his phone vibrates with a new message.

**Unknown: You deserve better. You deserve the world.**

Seungkwan frowned at the message. So much for getting an answer. 

_Answer my questions_ , he typed. Seconds later he gets a reply.

**Unknown: I can give you everything. Let me protect you.**

Seungkwan puts his phone back on his desk letting out a frustrated sigh . Clearly he isn’t going to get a straightforward answer from whoever this is, he thinks, this could be someone messing with him. His phone vibrates again but he simply ignores it. As much as he wants to believe this is some prank, those photos still left him unhinge. He is startle by his office door opening 

“Seungkwan, you here.” Wonwoo said, reaction mirrored to Jun’s. “I wasn’t expecting you to come in today you know after what happened yesterday.”

Seungkwan folded his hands on his desk. “I’m doing much better.” Did everyone really think he was weak like he can’t handle himself. He dealt with worse situations before.

Wonwoo runs a hand through his hair. “That’s good to know. Actually um I was wondering if you weren't doing anything during your lunch break that maybe you want to go to this jazz lounge with me that’s not far from here. But if you have other plans it’s ok.” he added quickly. 

“Of course I would love to.” Seungkwan grinned at him. “I guess it’s a date.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Wonwoo grinned back, leaving the room.

<>

“You know what, I really hate Netflix’s algorithm like who the hell wants to watch a bunch of rom coms honestly.” Jaehyun snorted. “And these titles are seriously cringeworthy.” 

Mingyu hangs his jacket up not paying any attention to the other.

“Fuck it, I’m in a action movie type of mood.” Jaehyun continued.

Still Mingyu ignores him as he walks into the kitchen grabbing a bottle of champagne from the upper cabinet. 

Jaehyun looks over his shoulder at him. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong is that how the hell do you keep getting into my apartment.” Mingyu hissed. Right now, he’s in a really bad mood and Jaehyun is the last person he wanted to be around. 

Jaehyun shrugged. “Well I think we both know by now that locks don’t mean shit to me. Anyway why are you in such a pissy mood.”

“None of your damn business. Get out of my apartment” Mingyu snapped.

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “Instead of projecting your anger onto me. You could just tell me.”

A deflated Mingyu slides down on the floor, back to the sofa with the champagne bottle in his hand. He realizes there’s no point in arguing especially with someone like Jaehyun. It’s only been a couple of hours since he left Seungkwan and Hansol’s shared apartment and needless to say he felt like shit. Yesterday somehow felt like a blur that he just wanted to forget. The taste of Hansol’s kiss still lingered on his lips. He keeps replaying that moment in his head over and over again. 

“C’mon tell me what’s wrong baby.” Jaehyun said, positioning himself behind Mingyu, hands on his shoulders.

“I..I did something bad.” Mingyu croaked. “And the worst part is that I don’t regret it.”

He thinks back to watching the way Hansol cradled Seungkwan in his arms. Mingyu knows he was supposed to feel sorry for his best friend who just dealt with an almost traumatic event but at the same time the sight of them made him feel jealous. He takes another swing from the bottle. He could be with anyone he wants, celebrities literally throw themselves on him. He’s always ranked high on most beautiful people articles. So why does he want Hansol so bad- his best friend’s boyfriend. Maybe because Hansol is different from most people. He’s special and talented and gorgeous. None of that matters now because Hansol doesn’t want to be friends now because he screwed up a perfect friendship for his selfish reasons.

Mingyu wanted to cry.

“Aww my poor baby.” Jaehyun cooed, massaging Mingyu’s shoulders. “Seems like you in a dilemma. What are you going to do about it.”

“What do you mean?” Mingyu asked. “There’s nothing I can do about it.”

“The Kim Mingyu I know.” Jaehyun whispers into the other’s ear. “Always find a solution to a problem at any cost.”

Jaehyun is right, Mingyu thinks, there’s only one way he can fix this. 

“Now tell me what I can do.” Jaehyun kisses the side of Mingyu’s neck, hand roaming his chest. “To make you feel better.”

A puffy red eyed Mingyu twists around to look at him.

“Do you have some coke?”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usually I try not to write long chapters but for this particular chapter I had no choice because well... there's a lot going on and I didn't want to break it up into two parts.
> 
> Also, Verkwan get into a argument towards the end and unlike their previous arguments..things get a little intense

“The amount of times I have driven in this direction and I never saw this place.” Seungkwan said, looking at the black brick building.

Wonwoo chuckled. “Well not many people know about The Swan Lounge. The manager prefers to keep this place a low profile.” he holds the door open to let Seungkwan go in first.

Seungkwan got to admit The Swan Lounge has a relaxing vibe with the velvet colored walls and dim lights. There is a stage in the center where a band is playing a jazz song. It’s mostly empty with the exception of a couple patrons at the bar. Wonwoo leads him to a velvet draped table in the back. Once they sit down, a waiter comes over to ask what they wanted; Seungkwan orders a non-alcoholic drink since he is here during his working hours.

“Do you come here often?” Seungkwan asked.

“You can say that I consider this place my regular spot.” Wonwoo replied. “I love the calm atmosphere and-” he’s interrupted by the ringing of his phone.

“Yes? What? Seriously how could she- “ Seungkwan can see Wonwoo’s frown lines getting deeper as he continues talking to the person on the other line. “Okay okay fine I’ll be there tomorrow morning.” he hangs up letting out a sigh.

“Uh, is everything fine?” Seungkwan didn’t want to ask but the expression on his boss’s face made him curious.

“That was my lawyer.” Wonwoo replied gloomily. “Apparently my wife and her new husband are moving to the states next month and she’s trying to gain full custody of the girls. I’ll fight tooth and nail before I let that happen. Oh my god I’m so sorry here I am complaining about my problems. You probably don’t wanna hear this.”

“No it’s okay.” Seungkwan said, placing his hand on top of Wonwoo’s. “If I were in your position, I’ll probably do the same thing too.”

Wonwoo groaned. “You lucky you don’t have to deal with problems like these.”

Seungkwan shook his head. “Me and my boyfriend have problems too, no relationship is perfect but we try to work through the problems. Trust me, you’re gonna find someone who's gonna make you happy again. Everyone deserves happiness.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Wonwoo smiled,giving Seungkwan’s hand a squeeze. “I’ve been meaning to ask you….I really don’t have any work friends so I was wondering if you wanted to y’know be my work friend.”

“Of course.” Seungkwan exclaimed. “Do you think I was going to say no.” Wonwoo beamed at him.

Both males fall into a relaxing silence that is interrupted by Seungkwan’s phone vibrating. He looks at the notification. He feels his insides sink.

**Unknown: “To the world you may be one person, but to one person you are the world.” – Bill Wilson**

Seungkwan can hear his heart beating fast. A minute later, he gets another message.

**Unknown: I see everything. I know everything.**

Seungkwan’s eyes scan the lounge until they fall upon an individual at the bar who has hood over their head holding something tightly in their hand. The person gets up to leave.

“No.” Seungkwan muttered, quickly standing up to follow the person. This ends now.

“Seungkwan.” Wonwoo said, confused by the other’s sudden change in behavior. “Where are you going?”

Seungkwan doesn’t pay him any attention as he hurries before the person leaves. He roughly grabbed the hooded individual’s arm.

“I fucking caught you.” Seungkwan said angrily, snatching the object out of the person’s hand. He blinked blankly at what he’s holding in his hand, it’s not a phone- it’s a wallet. He feels embarrassed as his confrontation had people in the lounge looking at him.

“I’m sorry.” Seungkwan mumbled, handing the wallet back to the frightened man. “I thought - nevermind. I’m really sorry.” he backed away and politely bowed. He speedwalks back to the table where Wonwoo is staring at him with a perplexed look.

“Uh, Seungkwan what just happened?” 

“Nothing, just a misunderstanding.” Seungkwan said quickly. “Can we go back to the office now?”

“Um ok sure.”

Once they leave, chilly air hits Seungkwan’s face as he pulls his jacket close to him but the weather is the least of his concerns. He is looking in every direction with panic rising inside him. Any of these people could be the one texting him. Watching his every move. His every step.

“Hey, Seungkwan.” Wonwoo said, voice laced with worry as he put his arm around the latter’s shoulder. “Maybe you should take the rest of the day off, you don’t look well.”

“But-”

“I’m saying this not as your boss but as your friend.” Wonwoo said, giving Seungkwan’s shoulder a squeeze. “Now, go”

Seungkwan simply nodded as he walked towards his car. Once inside, he puts his head on the steering wheel.

For the first time he feels vulnerable and he doesn’t like that one bit.

<>

“I hope these people realize we’re sound engineers, not fucking janitors.” Jihoon grumbled, throwing a plastic cup into the trash can.

“Didn’t the boss offer you a position as a radio dj tho.” Hansol said, wiping the counter. 

“Yeah but I couldn’t imagine myself working with that lunatic Chanyeol.” Jihoon replied, throwing another cup away.

“I like him. His afternoon show is funny and entertaining.”

Jihoon shook his head. “He’s a little too hyper. Honestly his energetic personality reminds me of- uh let’s just finish cleaning up .” he said lamely turning his back to Hansol.

“Yeah.” Hansol never knew what happened between Jihoon and his ex since every time he tried to ask, Jihoon would snap at him or quickly change the subject. That guy must have fucked up real bad for Jihoon to hate him that much, Hansol thinks.

“Jackpot, someone left half of their sandwich in the refrigerator.” Hansol waved the container in the air.

Jihoon quirked his eyebrows at him. “Imagine dating an heir and getting over excited over someone’s half eaten lunch.”

“First, I’m dating Seungkwan because of him, not because of his money.” Hansol stated. “And second he only has access to half of his inheritance.”

Jihoon shrugged. “Whatever, I don’t see the difference.”

Before Hansol could say anything, his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulls it out and frowns at the unknown number. He clicks on the message that didn’t have any words but just two photos- photos that made him frown even deeper. The first picture showed Seungkwan leaving a building with a bespectacled silver haired man, however what was making Hansol’s blood boil is the fact that this stranger had the audacity to have a arm around Seungkwan’s shoulder- his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“Hey, where’re you going?” Jihoon called out to him.

“I gotta go, something came up.” Hansol replied, clenching his fists as he stormed out of the radio station before Jihoon could ask him any more questions.

<>

Hansol couldn’t even think straight as he drove, where he’s driving ,he doesn’t know. It’s too soon to go home because he knows Seungkwan hasn’t left work yet. He makes a turn at an intersection tightly gripping the steering wheel.

The fact Seungkwan might be cheating on him only hurts Hansol even more. He feels his anger flaring at the thought. How could his boyfriend do this to him. He thought Seungkwan loved him but maybe he guessed wrong. He finally makes up where he needs to be right now.

He pulls up in front of a two red brick building. He slammed the car door as he walked up the stairs. From an outsider's perspective, the building looks like any rundown building but the interior is modernized. Newly renovated walls and furniture took up most of the first floor. Hansol got to give it to Mingyu for his interior design skills. He walks up the spiral staircase to the studio.

He fletches the key out of his pocket flipping the light switch on. He sinks down in the chair letting out a sigh. Music is the only thing that can calm him down at the minute. He powers up the computer inserting his flash drive into the USB port. He grabs a pair of headphones and gets ready to work. 

He loses track of time as he doesn’t hear the door opening or the tap on his shoulder. He slides his headphones off to see who's interrupting him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Mingyu said in a surprise tone. “I didn’t think anyone was gonna be here. I could leave if you want me to.”

Hansol grabbed the taller’s sleeve. “No, don’t. It’s okay.”

Mingyu's eyes widened. “Are you sure because-“. he’s cut off by Hansol’s lips on his. The kiss lasted for about five minutes as they ferociously embraced each other, kissing passionately. They finally broke apart to give the other a chance to breathe

A surprise Mingyu sputtered. “Shit,H-hansol I thought you say we needed a break from each other that’s what you said or maybe I hear wrong or-“

“Are you gonna keep rambling or are you gonna kiss me back?” 

Mingyu smiled as he leaned back in. 

<>

“This beat...is so off. “ Hansol sighed as he closed his laptop in frustration. 

“It’s not even that bad.” Mingyu murmured, planting light kisses on Hansol’s neck. “You just overreacted.” 

Hansol traced his thumb on Mingyu’s bottom lip. “Baby you know everything has to be perfect. Music is my number one priority.” 

Mingyu leaned against his chest. “Make me your number one priority.” he pouted. 

“Now you know I can’t do that right now.” Hansol said, kissing the top of his head. He looks at the time on his phone. “Shit, it’s getting late. I should get going.”

“Before you go...can I get another kiss? Mingyu asked in an uncertain voice. 

“Don’t be a idiot, you don’t have to ask.” Hansol grabbed Mingyu’s front shirt to bring him closer.

<>

Hansol is standing outside of the apartment door, the anger he felt earlier comes rushing back. He doesn’t know how he’s going to do this but he has to. He turned the knob and to his surprise Seungkwan was already there sitting on the couch.

“You home.” Seungkwan said, lazily flipping through channels. “I made some Risotto. The rest is in a pot on the stove.” 

Hansol is in a state of disbelief. How can someone be so mellow about cheating?

Hansol stands in front of the TV, arms folded. “Seriously, you're really gonna sit there and play pretend.” 

“Excuse me?”

“Cut the bullshit Seungkwan there’s no point in lying. I know.” 

“Know what?” 

“This.” He shoved the picture in Seungkwan’s face. Hansol expects some type of reaction but the latter is just blankly staring at the photo. 

“Where..where did you get those photos from?” 

“Does that fucking matter right now.” Hansol fumed. “Who.is.he.” 

Seungkwan raised his eyebrows at Hansol. 

“Hansol, that’s Wonwoo, my boss,” he told him. 

“So does your boss usually take you to bars. How long has this been happening.” 

“Well that’s a lounge, not a bar and no. He was being nice to me since the Sauna incident if you must know.” Seungkwan replied coolly. 

Not it was Hansol’s turn to feel stupid. Of course, he thinks. Here he thought his boyfriend was seeing someone behind his back. He flops down in the the armchair putting his hands in his face.

“Kwannie I’m sorry. You just don’t understand, every time we go out I see guys looking at you and my jealousy mode kicks in.” 

“Sollie, you don’t have to worry about that because I don’t want any other guy.” Seungkwan perched on his lap. “ I want you and only you.” 

“Really?” Hansol runs his hand through Seungkwan’s hair.

“Yes.” Seungkwan said, playfully messing with the hem of his boyfriend's shirt. “You’re the only man that matters to me. I love you so much you have no idea.” 

“Guess what, The CEO of Greenhouse records called me earlier and told me he wanted to change the appointment to next Friday so I was thinking if there were any chance you can leave work early that day. I’m gonna need my #1 cheerleader there for support.”

Seungkwan kissed him “Of course.”

“Good, now.” Hansol slipped his hand inside Seungkwan’s shirt “Show me how much you love me.”

“The pleasure is mine.” Seungkwan purred, pulling his shirt off.

<>

The apartment is silent with the exception of Seungkwan’s low snores. Hansol is still awake holding his boyfriend in his arms. Hansol brushes the hair out of Seungkwan’s face, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. Even when Seungkwan is asleep, he still manages to look cute, Hansol thinks. Suddenly his phone vibrates, Hansol reaches over to grab it from the nightstand. 

**Gyu: U coming to the studio tomorrow. I’m starting to miss you :(**

Hansol thinks for a minute, the tiny voice in the back of his head is telling him to text Mingyu no but he really needs to use Mingyu’s studio. Besides what they are doing isn’t wrong, it’s just kissing- he can put an end to it if he wants to, right? 

He replies back. 

**Yea :) I miss u 2**

<>

Seungkwan is in the middle of a heavy workload when there is a tap on his office door.

“Seungkwan?” Wonwoo sticks his head inside. “Oh good you’re here. Listen in any other circumstances I would choose another account executive, however, I was just informed and I know this is at such a short notice. I need you to accompany me to a three day conference meeting in Busan next weekend.” 

Seungkwan nodded. “ Okay.” Funny for some reason he feels like he was supposed to be doing something else next weekend. The realization slowly drew on him. 

Shit, he thought, Hansol’s appointment is next Friday.

But then he sees the fond expression on Wonwoo’s face and he just couldn’t find it in himself to let his boss down. 

Wonwoo grinned at him. “ I knew I could count on you.” 

Once he’s gone, Seungkwan bites down on his bottom lip. 

Maybe Hansol wouldn’t be so mad.

<>

Seungkwan is pacing back and forth in the living room waiting for Hansol to come home. He doesn’t know why he’s feeling so nervous, his boyfriend is an understanding person, well sometimes, but he understands why Seungkwan can’t go, right? 

The door opens and Hansol enters whistling. Even since Hansol told him he started taking evening shifts at the radio station, Seungkwan noticed how happy he has been lately. I mean he knows Hansol is a happy person in general but he seems happier. Seungkwan also notices how more sexually active Hansol has become, the minute he comes home he would drag Seungkwan into the bedroom. Maybe he likes working the night shift, Seungkwan assumes. 

“Baby.” Hansol exclaimed, swooping his boyfriend into his arms. “Hey what’s wrong?” he added, noticing the expression on Seungkwan’s face. 

“Sollie, I can’t go with you to Greenhouse Records next Friday. Wonwoo asked me to attend a 3 day conference meeting in Busan with him.”

Hansol unlinked his arms from Seungkwan letting them drop to his sides.

“What the fuck, doesn’t this guy have other employees.” Hansol said angrily. “ Why does he always depend on you for everything? You know,what nevermind.” he stormed into the kitchen grabbing a bottle of champagne. He slammed the bottle on the counter.

“Sollie,please.” Seungkwan pleaded,following him. “This is my career and-“ 

“What about my career?” Hansol yelled at him. “Next Friday is the most important milestone in my life and you are blowing me off to spend time with your precious Wonwoo.” 

“I thought we already discussed this, nothing is going on between me and him.” 

“If you say so.” Hansol muttered, pouring another glass.

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“Maybe I’m having doubts.” Hansol spat. “Maybe I’m starting to question exactly how many times you had to get on your knees to get that promotion.” 

Hansol finds himself staggering back, white hot pain on his left cheek. His eyes widened in shock. 

Seungkwan covered his mouth in horror at what he just did. “No, no.no” he whimpered. He slowly backs away, grabbing his car keys and rushes out of the apartment. 

Now Hansol is left there all alone hand clutching his stinging cheek. He couldn’t believe what just happened.

Seungkwan just hit him.


	21. Chapter 21

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Mingyu mumbled wondering who the hell is frantically knocking on his door this late. His first thought is Jaehyun but then he remembers the idiot never knocks so when he opens he is surprised to see a red eyed Seungkwan standing there.

“Oh, Gyu.” Seungkwan sobbed, throwing himself into his best friend

“Seungkwan.” Mingyu gently led him to the couch getting a glass of water from the kitchen. He hoped this would at least help Seungkwan calm down or at least stop the crying for now.

The water seemed to have done the trick because Seungkwan’s crying starts to decrease as he wipes his mouth. 

“Now do you think you can tell me what happened?” Mingyu asked softly as he rubbed soothing circles on his friend’s back. 

“M-me a-and Sollie got into an argument and those things got out of hand and i-i slapped him of god I feel so terrible.” Seungkwan really did. Never in a million years he ever thought he would do something like that especially to someone he loves so much. The guilt manifesting inside him that he can himself be on the verge of tears again. 

“Shhh it’s gonna be alright.” Mingyu said, trying to calm him down. To be honest he doesn’t know what else to say. He knows Hansol and Seungkwan get into arguments once in a while ,it’s inevitable in relationships, but things never got violent so this one must have been intense. 

“He probably hates me now.” Seungkwan said miserably looking down at his hands. “ I-I physically harmed him.” 

“No, don’t say that. I’m sure he doesn’t hate you.” 

Seungkwan looks up at him with teary eyes. “ How you know for sure.” 

“Because-“

They jumped at the sound of the door knock. Mingyu gets up, when he opens the door his eyes narrow.

“What the fuck do you want?” 

Jaehyun’s eyes instantly fall on Seungkwan before staring back at Mingyu. “Well I was gonna give you this last night when I was here.” he raised his voice slightly. “I guess I forgot. Eunwoo is holding an early screening for his new movie, The Secrets We Keep, this Saturday and he would appreciate it if you came.” he holds the envelope out to Mingyu. 

Mingyu knows damn well the only reason Eunwoo is inviting him is to gloat about the role he took from him. 

“Okay whatever.” Mingyu muttered, snatching the envelope out of his hand. Anything to get Jaehyun to leave and away from Seungkwan.

Jaehyun gives Seungkwan a quick nod and leaves.

“What does he mean by last night? He was over here last night?” Seungkwan asked, sounding slightly alarmed. 

“Yes but-“ 

“Did you forget what happened all those years ago. What he did to you.To us” 

“Of course I remember I think about it everyday.” 

“So why are you continuing to associate yourself with him then.”

Mingyu runs a hand through his hair, he really didn’t want to have this conservation, especially not right now. “Listen it’s complicated but I swear nothing is going between us. I promise it’s not what you think.” he added quickly when he sees the suspicious look Seungkwan is giving him.

Seungkwan sighed. “Okay I trust you but you should really be careful I mean this is Jaehyun we talking about. So from what I heard, Eunwoo is inviting you to an early screening of his film?”

“Yeah of the role he stole from me.” Mingyu opens the envelope and inside are three movie tickets. That son of a bitch, Mingyu thought bitterly, he must have told Eunwoo about Hansol because of course he loves to cause problems. 

“What’s wrong?” Seungkwan asked, noticing the look on Mingyu’s face.

“There’s-”

He’s interrupted by the knock on his door for the third time.

“Kwannie.” Hansol rushes right past Mingyu pulling Seungkwan into a tight hug. Mingyu can see the visible red mark on his cheek.

“Oh, Sollie. I’m so so so sorry I shouldn’t never hit you.” Seungkwan wailed, he caressed the mark with a pang in his heart knowing he did that.  
“Don’t apologize if anything I should be the one who should be apologizing.I say those mean things to you, I was out of line and if you want to slap me again I would totally let you.”

“So you’re not mad at me.” Seungkwan said softly.

“Of course not, I love you too much to be mad at you.” Hansol pressing his lips to his forehead.

“I love you too and I promise I would never ever lay my hands on you again.” Seungwan declared. “You mean the world to me and I don’t want to hurt you.”

Mingyu cleared his throat. “I’m glad you two made up in such a short period of time but I got a busy schedule tomorrow and I kinda need my beauty sleep.”

Hansol held his hand out to Seungkwan who took it. “What are you going to do about those?” Seungkwan asked, gesturing his head to the envelope still in Mingyu’s hand.

“I don’t know, probably shred them into pieces.” Mingyu said darkly.

“What y’all talking about?” Hansol said, looking at the two males in confusion.

“Nothing.” Mingyu quickly hid the envelope behind his back,however, he wasn’t quick enough for Hansol who noticed.

“What’s in the envelope?” 

“It’s um-” Mingyu muttered, he should lie but he just can’t. “Someone we went to high school invited me to a screening of his new movie this Saturday. There’s three movie tickets inside but me and Seungkwan aren’t going through.”

“Why? Don’t you guys want to support your high school friend?” Hansol asked,looking at the both of them. “Hey you say it’s this Saturday, right? Well none of us are busy that day so how about we make it a fun outing, huh.” he said happily giving Seungkwan’s shoulder a quick squeeze. 

“I suppose.” Mingyu murmured. What Hansol failed to notice is the apprehensiveness in Seungkwan’s eyes and Mingyu understood why.

“Cool, c’mon babe let’s go.” Hansol said, his hand in Seungkwan’s as they walked towards the door. Seungkwan looks back at Mingyu but doesn’t say anything. He didn’t have to because Seungkwan’s face said it all.

Once they are gone, Mingyu goes back to his bedroom, sinking down on the bed letting out a deflated sigh. He reaches down to open the top drawer pulling out a stone cut silver ring. He glides the ring in between his fingers. He never thought a simple piece of jewelry could hold so many memories- so much pain. If Hansol knew what happened, what they did years ago, would he still want to be Seungkwan or even be around Mingyu. 

_We were just teenagers_. He thought. _We didn’t know any better._

<>

Saturday arrived very quickly and Seungkwan is standing in front of the mirror looking at his outfit. He knows he shouldn’t care, it’s not like he’s going anywhere special it’s just a stupid movie premire which he didn’t even want to go to in the first place , nonetheless, he brushes the hair out of his face. He walks to the nightstand reaching in the back pulling out a silver ring. He stared down at the ring and clenched his hand around it. He hated this ring so much, everything it represented- nothing but haunted memories of what he did when he was a teenager. He remembers when Hansol asked him about the ring and Seungkwan lied and told him it was a family heirloom given to him by his grandmother. If Hansol knew the truth about the ring, he would probably leave him. He wouldn’t blame him because who would want to be with a person who-

Seungkwan bites the inside of his cheek. Jaehyun told him everything would be okay. He believed Jaehyun. He trusted Jaehyun. 

*** **September 18, 2008** ***

_Seungkwan is rushing because he doesn’t want to be late to his Calculus class but he’s stopped by a voice calling him._

_“Seungkwan.”_

_He turned around to see Jaehyun heading towards him with a grin on his face._

_“Oh hey I’m kind in a hurry. Don’t wanna be late for my class” Seungkwan mumbled, looking at his feet. He couldn’t bring himself to look at the boy in front of him. Not after what happened last night. He feels a finger on his chin as Jaehyun is lifting his head up._

_“I just wanna say that last night was perfect. I’m so proud of you. I didn’t even think you had it in you to do something like that to be honest.”_

_“Really? Y-you proud of me.”_

_“Of course. I got a little present for you.” He pulled a sliver ring out of his pocket._

_Seungkwan stares at it in bewilderment. “No, I can’t accept that. I-”_

_Jaehyun leaned in. “Don’t say that, baby. You deserve it so much.” he whispered into Seungkwan’s ear, slipping the ring on his pinky finger._

_He gives Seungkwan a quick kiss before walking away._

_Seungkwan’s looks at the ring, his stomach is fluttered as all he can think about is the fact Jaehyun is proud of him. ___

__

__***_ _

__

__“Hey, the uber is here.” Hansol sticks his head in the room_ _

__

__“Okay,” Seungkwan hastily puts the ring back. He can do this, he thinks, but that’s going to be impossible, especially around the second person he never hoped to see again in his life._ _

__

__The ride to the movie theater is quiet as Seungkwan is sitting in between a relaxed Hansol and a tense up Mingyu. Seungkwan reaches for Mingyu’s hand and grips it trying to give his friend a reassuring smile._ _

__

__Hansol turns to look at them. “Hey, do you guys know what this movie is about?”_ _

__

__Mingyu shrugged. “Not sure, from what I heard from my actor friends is that this movie is supposed to be controversial but I highly doubt that.”_ _

__

__“Oh, well I guess we’re gonna find out for ourselves, huh.” Hansol smiled at them. “Look, we're here.”_ _

__

__The driver pulled up in front of the movie theater and Seungkwan felt the urge to tell the driver to drive him back home. He can’t do this. He should never have agreed to come. He wanted to chickened out but how was he going to explain that to his boyfriend._ _

__

__“Kwannie.” Hansol said gently, holding out his hand to Seungkwan._ _

__

__Seungkwan nodded as he took his boyfriend’s hand as they made their way inside. He tries to keep his cool. It’s not like he had a choice anyway._ _

__

__That’s until he sees Eunwoo._ _

__

__He’s wearing a black suit chatting animatedly with three people. It’s amazing how Eunwoo still looks the same, it’s like he didn’t age one bit since high school. Seungkwan is still staring until he realizes Eunwoo is looking directly at him now. He says a couple of words to the people before strolling towards them. Seungkwan slightly hides behind Hansol._ _

__

__“Mingyu, Seungkwan. I’m so glad you guys could make it.” Eunwoo beamed, arms spread wide. “Ah, and you must be Hansol.”_ _

__

__“Yeah, thanks for inviting us.” Hansol said cheerfully, completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere._ _

__

__“No problem.” Eunwoo chirped. “It’s nice to see my high school friends again. Seungkwan, you really look amazing.” he smiled but the smile doesn’t match his eyes._ _

__

__A agitated Mingyu said. “We’re not-”_ _

__

__“Thank you.” Seungkwan interrupted quickly, shooting his friend a look that clearly said ‘don’t do this here, not in front of Hansol’_ _

__

__“Anyway I hope you guys enjoy the movie.” Eunwoo said softly, slightly bowed to them as he walked away._ _

__

__“Guess I will head to the concession stand to get some popcorn and drinks, do yall want anything?” Hansol asked._ _

__

__Seungkwan shook his head with a smile. “No.”_ _

__

__Once Hansol is gone to stand in line, Seungkwan drops the smile from his face as he faces Mingyu._ _

__

__“Are you crazy.” he said in a hushed tone. “Did you forget Hansol was standing right there?”_ _

__

__Mingyu crossed his arms. “I’m not gonna pretend everything is ok. I don’t even want to be here. The bastard did this intentionally, you know.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan sighed. “I know, but there's nothing we can do about it. We just have to deal with this one night and try our best….to maintain composure.”_ _

__

__Mingyu doesn’t say anything as Hansol is walking back towards them._ _

__

__“You guys ready?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan nodded following his boyfriend inside. Mingyu huffed but nevertheless followed them._ _

__

__He just wanted tonight to be over with already._ _


	22. Chapter 22

“Thank you everyone for coming to support me today.” Eunwoo said softly standing in front of the blank screen. “Not only does The Secrets We Keep mark my drama debut but also my directorial debut. I hope I don’t disappoint any of you with this film. Without further adieu, please enjoy.” He politely bowed as the room broke into light applause. 

Hansol isn’t sure what to make of Eunwoo, his impression of the latter is he seems calm and kind. He also noticed that Eunwoo spoke very low but he somehow captured the attention of everyone in the room. The lights dimmed as the movie began. The first few minutes of the movie are already intense as Hansol can hear some people gasped. Hansol has to admit this movie seems a little bit too gory that even he squirm in his seat a little bit.

“Wow this movie doesn’t hold back on the torture,huh” Hansol murmured to Seungkwan. “Seungkwan?” he turned to look at Seungkwan whose eyes are widened as he gripped his armrest tightly, knuckles white. 

“Hey, kwannie. Are you okay?” Hansol asked, his full attention is now on his boyfriend who still has the same stricken look on his face. Hansol can hear him breathing heavily. 

Seungkwan doesn’t answer as he abruptly gets up from his seat and walks out of the theatre.

“Seungkwan, Seungkwan.” Hansol tries calling him back as he is already getting out of his seat to follow him. On his way out, he noted the expression on Mingyu’s face, unlike Seungkwan’s scared face, that seemed dark as he just glared intensely at the screen. Hansol wanted to say something but his main concern right now is finding Seungkwan.

One problem at a time, he thought.

Hansol is standing in the lobby but there’s no sign of Seungkwan so he decides that maybe he went to the bathroom. Sure enough when he opens the door Seungkwan is leaning against the wall with his chin on his knees.

“Hey, it’s me,” Hansol said as he slowly approached him. Seungkwan’s change in behavior is really concerning him. “I know the movie is kinda scary so if you want to leave we can, okay?”

Seungkwan still doesn’t say anything as he sits there with vacant eyes rocking back and forth. It’s like he completely shut down.

Hansol puts his arms around him. “Baby, tell me what’s wrong. Did the movie upset you?”

Again a muted Seungkwan ignored him as if he wasn’t there. Hansol can feel him shaken in his arms and his breathing rapidly increasing.

At this point, Hansol doesn’t know what else to do.

<>

Once the movie is over with, the room erupts into a standing ovation( Mingyu remains seated). He gets up making his way through the moviegoers trying not to bump into everyone- all he can see is red as he’s shaken with fury. He finds Eunwoo talking to some people. Mingyu waited until he was done and walked into a room behind the screen, that’s when Mingyu cornered him. He didn’t even care about Eunwoo indignant “hey” as he grabbed the front of his shirt and slammed him against the wall.

“You sick motherfucker” Mingyu growled at him. “Why the fuck would you direct some shit like that.”

“Relax.” Eunwoo whispered. “It’s just a simple film about four high school friends who killed pedophiles. It's not like it’s based on a _true_ story or anything.”

“You-” Mingyu tightens his grip on the shirt. All he wanted to do right now is punch this bastard in the face.

“Do it. Hit me.” Eunwoo taunted softly. “C’mon do it. I want you to.”

“I would advise you to get your hands off my client.”

Mingyu turned to see Jaehyun approaching them with a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

Mingyu loosens his grip on Eunwoo. “Your client.” he said coldly.

“Yes, I’m his agent.” Jaehyun replied, a smile on his face getting wider. “Now stop manhandling him or I would have no choice but to press charges against you. Imagine the field day the media would’ve with that, don’t you agree.”

Mingyu lets go of Eunwoo( not before slammed him against the wall) and he brushes roughly past Jaehyun. Fucking psychos, he thinks angrily. He’s back in the lobby but he doesn’t see Seungkwan or Hansol. He wonders if they left already but then his phone starts buzzing in his pocket. 

“Where are you?”

“I’m in the bathroom with Seungkwan. Can you hurry up and come because something is wrong.” 

The tone of Hansol’s voice made Mingyu worry as he rushed to the bathroom. Inside, he finds Seungkwan curled up against the wall with a distant look on his face. Hansol is protectively holding him rubbing soothing circles on his back. He looks up helplessly at Mingyu.

“I-I don’t know what’s wrong.” Hansol faltered. “It’s like he is-”

“Disassociating.” Mingyu said quietly. He got down on all fours crawling cautiously towards his friend. “Hey it's me, Gyu. You need to come back. It’s alright now. You don’t have to be afraid. I’m here.” he cupped Seungkwan’s face gently. “Can you hear me?”

Seungkwan nodded numbly as he looked up glassy eyed.

“C’mon let’s go home,” Mingyu stated calmly. They helped Seungkwan get up.

<>

Hansol felt useless. He should be doing more instead of just standing there while Mingyu did everything but honestly he doesn’t know what to do. Once they get to the apartment, Mingyu helps Seungkwan into a chair in the kitchen and goes over to fill water in the kettlepot for tea. He puts his arms around the latter murmuring comfort words.

Seungkwan remained silent throughout the whole car ride to the apartment and was still quiet when they arrived home. He kept his head down rather than looking at the two males. Mingyu placed the tea right in front of Seungkwan who took the mug in both hands clutching the cup tightly.

“Feeling okay now.” Mingyu said quietly, brushing the hair out of Seungkwan’s face.

“I don’t know.” Seungkwan mumbled, staring at the contents in the cup. “It’s just that...the movie really triggered me a-and.” he trailed off as his hands shook.

“Shhhh, it’s ok. How about you go and get some rest.” Mingyu took the mug from his hands.

Hansol felt like an intruder watching a private moment between two people. He cleared his throat. “I think Mingyu is right, maybe once you get some sleep, you’ll feel better.” 

Seungkwan nodded again as he got up from the chair with support from Mingyu.

Hansol is now alone in the kitchen. He wearily leans against the counter with so many thoughts in his head. One of them is did a movie really cause all of that or was it something else.

“He’s sleeping.” Mingyu asserted, grabbing a mug. 

“Mingyu.” Hansol said slowly. He really didn’t want to do this, but he needed to know. “I think something else might have triggered Seungkwan and I don’t think it had anything to do with the movie.” He thought he saw Mingyu’s back tense up.

“What do you mean?” Mingyu asked. “Of course it was the film, why would you think it could be something else?”

“I don’t know I mean yeah there were some uncomfortable scenes but his reaction and behavior may seem like I dunno...personal.”

Mingyu stands in front of him. “Listen it was just the movie and that’s it. Nothing else.” he clasped Hansol’s hands into his.

“Ok.” Hansol felt like Mingyu was withholding information from him but he didn't push any further. 

“I should get going.” Mingyu is about to turn around and leave when he feels a tug on his sleeve.

“Um if it’s too much to ask...do you mind staying just for the night.” Hansol asked wearily. “We need you. I...need you.”

Mingyu grabbing the other’s hands, pressing his lips softly to them. “Of course, just let me go back to my place and get some things.”

Hansol nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

<>

Once outside, the sky is starting to get dark and the air is getting colder. Mingyu is about to unlock his car when he hears a noise. He turned his head but the streets are empty with the exception of a stray cat. Maybe it was the cat, he thinks, but then he hears the noise again and it definitely doesn’t sound like a cat. He slowly walks in the direction of the noise and that’s when he’s someone staggering in the middle of the street. He wanted to believe it was just a drunk but the way the stranger is crouching over holding their stomach makes Mingyu concerned.

The individual is stumbling in Mingyu’s direction. The closer they got, he realized the person was wearing a hoodie pulled over their face. 

“Are you okay.” Mingyu is cautiously approaching whoever this is. The stranger is feebly losing balance and Mingyu is afraid this person is going to fall down so he grabs hold of their waist. “I got you. Do you need help?” 

The individual grumbled some words that Mingyu couldn’t understand. He slowly tries to remove the hand from their stomach. What he saw made his eyes widened.

There’s blood covering the entire stranger’s stomach and hand.

“Oh my god.” Mingyu said in astonishment. “Do you want me to take you to a hospital?”

Despite their fragile state, the stranger somehow managed to push Mingyu away, he thought he heard “no no no” as the hooded figure unsteadily ran down the streets and disappearing around a corner

Mingyu is just standing there blinking dumbly at whatever the hell just happened. Suddenly his phone vibrates- it’s a message from an unknown number. He clicks the message that had nothing but a photo, What he was looking at almost made him drop the phone. 

“What the hell.”


	23. Chapter 23

_Sunday- 10:00 a.m_

Seungkwan wakes up twisting his neck to the side looking at his boyfriend sleeping peacefully. He yawned and stretched his arm out that hit something heavy. He turned his head to see Mingyu snoring lightly. He didn’t even think Mingyu was going to stay overnight, he smiled slightly as he got out of the bed quietly so as not to disturb the two sleeping males.

In the kitchen he stares out of the window at the beautiful sky letting out a sigh. He thinks back to last night’s events. He shouldn’t have let himself react like that, especially not in front of Hansol. If anyone knew what he did when he was teenager, they would be disgusted by his actions. Mingyu kept telling him to forget about it that they were teenagers who didn't know any better but that doesn’t excuse what they did. Everything could have been handled in an effective way but of course Jaehyun was the one who got carried away. Jaehyun is the one who couldn’t control himself. Jaehyun is the one-

Seungkwan shudders. No, don't think about that. What’s done is done,well that's what he thought until Eunwoo decides to direct a damn movie just to taunt him- to make sure he never forgets. To think when the film is released worldwide, everyone is going to see it and just assume it’s just another high school horror flick but the only people who knew the truth were the ones who were there 10 years ago.

Seungkwan looks away from the window opening the refrigerator grabbing a loaf of bread. He put two slices in the toaster oven and sank into the stool. He reaches for his phone and flips to the unknown number. It’s been a week since he received those messages when him and Wonwoo were at the Swan Lounge. His thumb hovers the messages contemplating whether he should just delete them already-that’s until he sees the message bubble indicating typing.

**Unknown: Thinking about me? I know you are because I always think about you.**

Seungkwan immediately deleted the message. He refuses to give this person anymore attention, it could be someone trying to get into his head and he’s not going to let that happen. His phone buzzes again but this time he ignores it as he gets up to retrieve his toast. He nibbles on the corners not feeling that much hungry like he did before. 

“Toast, really?”

Seungkwan is startled by Mingyu’s voice. He whips his head around. “Jesus Christ, you scared me.”

Mingyu gives him a look. “Sacred? There’s literally only two people here. What are you so scared about? Anyways, let me make you breakfast.”

“No you don’t have to.”

“But I want to.” Mingyu insisted, already fetching pots and pans. “How about I make my homemade florentine omelet and blueberry waffles”

“Don’t you think that’s too much.” Seungkwan said.

“Nonsense, nothing but the best for my bestest friend in the world.” Mingyu exclaimed happily, measuring out ingredients. “It’s not like I have much time to cook these days. Not with my busy schedule.”

An hour goes by and now the kitchen table is filled with dishes. Seungkwan sets out the plate while Mingyu grabs utensils from the drawer.

“Wow something smells good.” Hansol yawned, walking into the kitchen. “Kwannie, did you actually cook. Is this a miracle.” he joked.

Seungkwan slaps him across the butt with the dish towel. “Ha, funny. Mingyu actually did this.”

“I didn’t know you could cook. Is there anything you can’t do.”

“Well, I can’t keep a partner for more than a week.” Mingyu admitted.

“Only because you always find a problem with them.” Seungkwan pointed out.

Mingyu rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

They settled down getting ready to eat the mouth watering breakfast. Seungkwan doesn’t have much of an appetite but he tries his best to eat because his best friend put a lot of effort into this breakfast and he wasn’t about to be selfish. However his behavior didn’t go unnoticed by Mingyu.

“Hey, kwannie are you okay?” Mingyu asked, his voice laced with concern. “You're still not thinking about...last night.”

Seungkwan plastered a smile, so he was hoping it was a smile. “No, of course not. I was thinking about other stuff y’know.” 

“Oh,okay.”

Seungkwan gets up. “I’m completely full now. I’m in dire need of a shower” he held out his hand for Hansol to take. Hansol understood the message clearly as he quickly stood up.

Seungkwan strips off his clothes letting them fall in a pile on the bathroom floor as he gets into the shower turning on the dial. He tilted his head back letting the warm water rush his face. The shower door opens as a pair of hands wrap his waist. Hansol raises his hand gently to brush off Seungkwan’s wet bags out of his hands. 

Seungkwan cupped Hansol’s face, softly stroking his cheeks. He could see the worry in Hansol’s eyes and he wanted to take that worry away. He felt awful because he’s the one who is causing all this , his boyfriend didn’t deserve someone with so many problems- so many secrets. 

He pressed a kiss on Hansol’s lips. The kiss is gentle as Hansol holds him tighter. Seungkwan closed his eyes as his boyfriend placed soft kisses on his neck, hands roaming his body. 

Sometimes he felt like he didn't deserve Hansol.

<>

_11:30 a.m._

“This movie is so stupid like who the hell drives all the way to a airport to stop the love of their life from getting abroad a plane like seriously.” 

Mingyu rolled his eyes at Hansol. “They called romantic comedies for a reason, Hansol.”

“You don’t think I know that all I’m saying is that this dude probably broke at least hundred traffic laws trying to rush to that airport. In real life, he would’ve been behind bars already.”

They are in the living room; Seungkwan and Mingyu on the couch while Hansol is sitting in the armchair across from them.

“I don’t know.. I wouldn’t mind someone chasing after me in such a dramatic affectionate way.” Seungkwan admitted. “Maybe because I’m such a hopeless romantic.”

“Me too, I wouldn’t mind someone chasing after me.” Mingyu said, popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth. “But seeing that my love life is the complete opposite of a romantic comedy more like an apocalyptic film.” he holds up his fingers to count off. “I dated a girl and then I dated a guy who left me for the girl and then.” he sighed.” Yugyeom.”

“Speaking of Yugyeom, you never told me why you two broke up in the first place.” Seungkwan said, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl resting on Mingyu’s lap.

“It was over something silly.” Mingyu muttered. “He got all over dramatic about it.”

“Do you care to elaborate more?”

“Fine.” Mingyu sighed again. “We broke up because...of you.”

Seungkwan gives him a confused look. “Me?”

“It’s not in the way you think though.”

*** **August 15, 2012** ***

_“Yugyeom wait, please don’t do this.” Mingyu pleaded trying to grab hold of his boyfriend’s sleeve. Yugyeom violently jerked away, throwing more clothes into the suitcase._

_“I can explain.”_

_Yugyeom faced him, crossing his arms. “ The trainees that I have been choreographing for the past couple of months are finally debuting and what do you decide to do...blow it off to help your friend pick out bathroom tiles.”_

_“He needs my help. He’s literally freaking out over whether to choose imperial blue or pale cherry blossom pink.”_

_Yugyeom gives him a disbelief look, clicking his tongue. “Unbelievable.” he walks past him already close to the door. Mingyu is following behind him._

_“You don’t understand, him and his boyfriend just move into their apartment. I’m just trying to help. I don’t understand what’s the big deal, anyway.”_

_With his hand on the doorknob, Yugyeom turned back to him. “The big deal is that this is the biggest moment in my career and you don’t even care because as always you put Seungkwan first. Just admit it, Seungkwan would always come first in your life and I’m merely a nullity to you. I had enough. Goodbye, Mingyu.”_

_Mingyu couldn’t do anything but watch Yugyeom walk out of the door. Out of his life. ___

__

__***_ _

__

__“You idiot.” Seungkwan whacked Mingyu on the arm. “Why didn’t you never tell me that? If I knew, I would’ve never asked for your help.”_ _

__

__“It’s not like you were completely to blame.” Mingyu waved a dismissive hand. “We were on and off for awhile anyway so if it wasn’t that, it probably would have been something else.”_ _

__

__“You see.” Hansol chimed in. “You should’ve just asked me for advice.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan huffed. “When choosing a color for the bedroom walls, you picked out Pinot Noir Purple.”_ _

__

__Mingyu dramatically put a hand to his chest, throwing a mocked shock look at Hansol. “Pinot Noir Purple. Such folly.” he ducked the popcorn being thrown at him. “Hey, don’t throw stuff at me.”_ _

__

__“Well don’t talk like that then.” Now it was Hansol’s turn to avoid the flying popcorn. The next thing, both males are throwing popcorn at each other._ _

__

__“Can you two stop it, act your ages.”_ _

__

__Hansol and Mingyu exchange an understanding look teaming up against Seungkwan as they empty the entire bowl of popcorn on Seungkwan’s head. Now the three laughing males are engaging in a full blown popcorn war. By now the whole living room is littering with kernels. Mingyu collapses onto the couch trying to catch his breath from laughing so much._ _

__

__“Honestly, you guys can be so much sometimes.” Hansol shook his head. “I need to make a run to the store.” he holds up an empty can.” We are running low on soda.”_ _

__

__Now that Hansol is gone, the two males set up the task of cleaning the living room. It’s quiet for a few minutes before Seungkwan spoke up._ _

__

__“Y’know after what went down yesterday, I’m actually feeling much better now.”_ _

__

__Mingyu bites down on his bottom lip nervously, he doesn't want to ruin his friend’s mood but he can’t keep stalling. He has to do this right now._ _

__“Kwannie...” Mingyu said slowly, putting down the vacuum cleaner._ _

__

__“Yeah?”_ _

__

__Mingyu faces his friend with a solemn expression._ _

__

__“There’s something I need to show you.”_ _


	24. Chapter 24

_12:20 pm_

A whistling Hansol is strolling down the beverage aisle. He’s debating on whether to buy Pepsi or Coca Cola. But suppose Mingyu doesn’t like either of them? Wait, why does he care what Mingyu wants, he should be caring about his boyfriend’s needs, not Mingyu’s. 

Hansol is forever grateful for Mingyu coming through last night helping to calm Seungkwan down. He didn’t know what could have happened if he weren’t there. In the five years they have been dating, Hansol never saw Seungkwan act like that. It kind of scared him seeing his boyfriend completely shut down. Suppose it happens again and Mingyu isn’t around? He tries not to think about as he makes his way to checkout. His phone starts buzzing. He shifts the case of pop in his arm and with one hand looks to see who it is. It’s the same unknown number that sent him that pic of Seungkwan and his boss.

**Unknown: Honesty is the best policy.**

Hansol rolled his eyes. He didn’t have time for this time. He doesn’t care whoever the hell this is. He presses the block button while walking at the same time. His distraction causes him to accidentally bump into someone.

“Shit, sorry.” Hansol mumbled. He looks up and finds himself face to face with no other than Eunwoo.

“Don’t apologize. I can be a little clumsy sometimes.” Eunwoo laughed. “We meet again, what a surprise.”

“Uh,yeah.” Hansol isn’t sure why all of a sudden he feels uncomfortable in Eunwoo's presence. Maybe because last’s events are still on his mind or he really doesn’t know this dude. It doesn’t help that the latter is looking at him with piercing eyes as if he’s searching for something. 

“I noticed that you halfway through the movie you left.” Eunwoo said softly. “Too much for you?” 

“Eh, actually no. Some scenes left Seungkwan feeling uncomfortable so he needed some fresh air and I went to check to see if he was okay.” Hansol obviously left out the breakdown part, that wasn’t none of Eunwoo’s business anyway.

Eunwoo nodded. “Ah, I see. It’s a tough movie to watch. I would admit that. It’s definitely not for everyone.” he chuckled.

“Right.” Hansol awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. He quickly picks up the case of Pepsi getting ready to leave but then Eunwoo puts his hand on his wrist.

“I'm having a little party to celebrate the worldwide release of The Secrets We Keep and I was wondering if you could come. Only if you aren’t busy of course.” 

Hanosl’s first instinct is to decline but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to do that. 

“Yeah, sure” 

Eunwoo beamed at him. “Terrific, guess I’ll be seeing you soon.” he winked at Hansol as he walked away. “You can invite someone else if you want,” he said over his shoulder.

Invite someone else. Well inviting Seungkwan is out of the question or even Mingyu for that matter. He can only think about one person who he could invite. He sighed as he pulled up his phone’s keypad dialing the number. 

“Hey hyung, can you meet me at the cafe tomorrow? I need a favor from you.” 

<>

_11:50 a.m._

“What the hell. W-who send you that? “ Seungkwan is looking at the photo with panic in his eyes. 

“A unknown number.” Mingyu replied 

“B-but this means whoever took this could’ve been there those other nights too.” Seungkwan can feel his chest tightening. The fact that someone else knew what they did when they were teenagers is sending him into panic mode. 

Mingyu puts his hand on top of Seungkwan’s. “Hey, you need to calm down, okay. I've been thinking… maybe we should tell Hansol what happened. Not detail to detail but just fragments so that he can y’know have a general picture.” 

“Are you fucking crazy.” Seungkwan shrilled. “My mom hell even my therapist doesn’t know what I did do you think I’m about to tell my boyfriend.” he inhaled and exhaled mentally counting to 40- a technique his therapist taught him a long time ago. 

“Okay, okay.” Mingyu said quickly. Seungkwan’s nervousness is starting to project on him. “ What are we gonna do then ?” 

“We do nothing. Even if someone was there, why all of sudden they wanna be active. It doesn’t make sense. Just delete the photo.” 

“But-“

Seungkwan is frantically fanning his hand signaling for Mingyu to be quiet because the door is opening up.

“Not sure what you guys wanted so I got Pepsi.” Hansol stated. “That’s alright?”

Seungkwan wraps his arms around Hansol’s waist. “Of course.” he smiled, planting a kiss on his lips.

<>

_8:50 p.m_

The rest of the day goes by smoothly without any other problems. Mingyu ordered takeout from a Italian restaurant and they sat on the floor of the living room to eat it. So when it became almost 9pm, Seungkwan felt himself getting tired. He gets up from the floor.

“Looks like I’m gonna call it a day.” he said. 

Hansol gathered up the empty plates. “Let me clean these first then I’ll join you.” 

Hansol drops the empty dishes into the sink turning on the water. He feels a pair of hands snake around his waist.

“Thought you say you were going to bed.” When he turns around, it’s not Seungkwan he comes face to face with. It’s Mingyu. 

“Hello, you.” he said in a teasing voice. “Kinda miss you, not physically but-“ Mingyu leans in closer however Hansol puts a hand up to his mouth. 

“Dude, what the hell are you doing. You can’t do that here. Not when Seungkwan is here.”

“He’s asleep though.” Mingyu stated, he tries to lean back in but Hansol puts a hand on his chest to keep him back.

“I dunno. It seems kinda wrong.” 

“Please, just one kiss.” Mingyu whined. “Just one simple kiss. That’s all I’m asking for.” 

Hansol finally caves in as he places a quick kiss on the other’s lips. “There are you hap-“

He’s cut off by Mingyu grabbing a fistful of his shirt, smashing his lips back on him. The kiss is so powerful that Hansol can feel his knees unbuckling. Mingyu slid his tongue roughly into his mouth and it felt like the tongue was going down his throat. Mingyu pulls back and releases his grip on Hansol’s shirt. 

“I’m happy now.” he smirked as he walked out of the kitchen leaving a stunned Hansol just standing there. 

<>

_Monday- 9:00 am_

Seungkwan decides at the last minute to call in saying he wasn’t coming into work today. It’s not like he calls in often and besides he needed just one more day to mentally recuperate himself.

What he didn’t expect was Wonwoo to show up to his home. 

Seungkwan was in the middle of helping Mingyu prepare breakfast when he heard a knock on the door. 

“I'll get it.” He opens up the door and standing there is Wonwoo with a container tucked underneath his arm. 

“Sir. I mean, Wonwoo what are you doing here?” Seungkwan said in a surprise tone. 

“Well-“

“Who’s at the door.” Hansol appeared at Seungkwan’s side. His expression changed immediately when he who it was.

“Uh, Hansol this is my boss, Wonwoo. Wonwoo this is my boyfriend, Hansol.” 

“Nice to meet you.” Wonwoo smiled at Hansol, extending his hand out however the latter doesn’t reciprocate the action. 

Wonwoo awkwardly dropped his hand back to his side, clearing his throat. “Um, like I was about to say. When you called you in and you said you weren’t coming in today I thought maybe you were sick so here.” he holds out the container. “Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup, my mother’s recipe.” 

“Thank you. He’s feeling better now and he’ll be at work tomorrow.” Hansol took the container with a polite smile that looked more like a grimace. 

“Right” A confused Wonwoo said. “See you at work tomorrow.” he slightly smiled at Seungkwan before walking back towards the elevators. 

Seungkwan closes the door now frowning at Hansol. “I don’t need you speaking for me.” 

“Don’t know what you're talking about. I was being nice.” 

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Oh please you were the complete opposite of being nice. You were throwing death glares at him.” 

“And so what if I did? He's the one who showed up to our apartment.” Hansol puts the container down on the kitchen counter.

“I don’t understand what you have against him. He’s being nice. I mean he is my work friend.” 

Hansol whips his head around. “Work friend? Since when?” 

“Since last week when he asked me.”

“And you say yes?.” 

“Of course I say yes. Did you expect me to say no.” 

Hansol snorted. “Whatever.” With that he stormed out of the kitchen. 

Seungkwan is about to follow him when Mingyu puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Let him cool off, okay.” he said quietly.

Seungkwan sighed. “I just wish he didn’t overreact sometimes.” 

“Yeah, well you can blame him.” 

Seungkwan crossed his arms. “What is that supposed to mean? I’m not allowed to have friends at work.” 

“No that’s what I meant. Listen can we just drop this.” Mingyu said. “I planned a whole day just for us.” 

“Okay.” Seungkwan drops the topic for now. They eat breakfast in silence( minus Hansol who was still in the bedroom). Once they finished, Seungkwan goes into the bedroom and finds Hansol sitting cross legged on the bed with his laptop in front of him and earbuds in his eyes. He doesn’t acknowledge Seungkwan’s presence or even look up at him. Seungkwan doesn’t say anything either as he quickly takes a shower and changes into his clothes. He doesn’t want to leave without at least saying something to Hansol but then he remembers what Mingyu told him and maybe it’s for the best if he just let his boyfriend cool off. He closes the bedroom door. 

Mingyu is waiting for him at the front door, he can tell that Seungkwan is still worried so he puts a reassuring hand on his best friend’s shoulder “Don’t work yourself up, he’ll be fine.” 

Seungkwan nodded silently as he followed him out of the door. Once they are inside Mingyu’s car, the taller starts babbling about an upcoming fashion shoot but Seungkwan isn’t exactly listening as a random thought comes across his mind. 

How did Wonwoo even know where he lived?


	25. Chapter 25

_Monday- 10: 30 am_

Once he heard the front door closing, Hansol closed his laptop and pulled the earbuds out of his ears, throwing them on the bed. He slowly gets up making his way into the kitchen. He eyed the container with the soup still sitting on the counter.

Stupid Wonwoo, he thought angrily, how dare that man showed up to their apartment unannounced. Doesn’t he have other employees to be concerned about. Does he make house calls to other employees who take a day off or is it just Seungkwan. He knows for certain that Wonwoo doesn’t just want to be Seungkwan’s “work friend”. Maybe Seungkwan might think that but he knew otherwise. People like Wonwoo are the kind to unexpectedly strike up friendships with a lower level employee and then if the friendship goes sour along the way, they will start coming up with bullshit accusations out of spite and Hansol will be damn if he’s going let this Wonwoo guy do something like to his sweet and kind hearted Seungkwan who can be a little naive sometimes. 

Hansol opens up the container dipping his finger into the soup. He would admit it tastes good, nonetheless, he doesn’t like Wonwoo so pours the rest of the soup down the sink.

“Oops.” he said in a definitely not sorry tone. He checks the time on his phone. He has an hour to keep working on his music before he has to get ready to go to the cafe. He throws the container in the trash with a satisfied smirk. 

Suddenly he doesn’t feel mad anymore. 

<>

_11:10 am_

The day that Mingyu planned out for Seungkwan mostly consisted of Mingyu hitting up every expensive store he could and buying every piece of clothing he could find. He also brought a high end camera claiming he accidentally broke his last one.

By the time they are done with the shopping frenzy, the backseat of Mingyu’s car is filled to the rim with bags.

“Oooo did I tell you last week that I came across this cute little lounge.” Mingyu exclaimed. “I immediately fell in love with the place.”

“What’s the name of the lounge.” 

“The Swan lounge.” 

Seungkwan froze. Seriously. 

“Oh.” 

Mingyu raised a brow. “Have you been there before?” 

“Eh, actually yeah.” Wonwoo took me there last week.” Seungkwan replied sheepishly. 

“Oh, I see.” Seungkwan can see the corners of Mingyu’s mouth twitching.

“What?”

“It’s that….you two are gonna on lunch dates already,huh.”

“What? No. He only took me there one time and it wasn’t a date.” Seungkwan said defensively.

“Mhm, if you say so. Anyways we’re here.” Mingyu pulled up his car right in front of the lounge. Just like the last time, the place was mostly empty with the exception of a few people. Seungkwan wondered if the Swan Lounge was ever busy as him and Mingyu made their way to a table in the back. 

Mingyu’s phone starts ringing. His brows knitted as he stared at the screen. He put the phone face down on the table.

“What’s up?” Seungkwan asked curiously.

Mingyu sighed. “My manager/uncle/pain in the ass. He keeps bugging me about upcoming film projects that he thinks I should take but I don’t want them. I prefer starring in Dramas, it’s my passion, but I can’t do that now because that bastard Eunwoo took upon himself to steal every role from me.” he added bitterly.

Seungkwan gives him a sympathy look, placing a reassuring hand on his friend’s arm. “Oh my poor baby. Don’t be discouraged I’m sure there’s plenty of drama roles he hasn’t taken yet. Also you are a better actor than him anyway.”

Mingyu smiled at him. “You right, there’s alway- hey are you ok?.” he noticed Seungkwan's eyes widened looking at something over his shoulder. 

Entering the lounge was the man that almost caused the argument between him and Hansol this morning. Wonwoo wasn’t alone, he was chatting with a man wearing a blue business suit. They sat at a table that isn’t far from where Mingyu and Seungkwan are and much to Seungkwan’s displeasure, Wonwoo sits where he can definitely see him.

“What are you looking at?” Mingyu asked, he’s about to turn around but Seungkwan grabbed his arm.

“Nothing.” Seungkwan lied. Right now, he wanted to get out of here without his boss seeing him.

“Liar.” Mingyu said, he wriggles his arm out of Seungkwan’s grip. He twists his neck around and his glaze falls upon Wonwoo. His eyes lit up in excitement.

“Oh my god is that him. Thee Wonwoo, the one that Hansol wants to punch badly. Shit, he’s hot like Olypmian God hot.”

Seungkwan groaned. “You’re worse than Jun. Now put your tongue back in your mouth.”

“Well I can’t help it. I thought your boss would have been some middle aged geezer not so fucking sexy.” Mingyu is still staring at Wonwoo in awe.” You right he’s gorgeous.”

“First off, I never told you that.” Seungkwan hissed at hm. “And second, stop staring at him before he notices.”

Mingyu turned back around. “You didn’t vocally say it, but I know you mentally thinking it though.”

“Shut up.” Seungkwan couldn’t stay here, he had to leave. It’s not like he’s avoiding his boss, well maybe that first part is a lie. Wonwoo seemed so engulfed in the conversation that he is having with the blue suited man that maybe he won’t notice Seungkwan sneaking out of the front door. He stood up.

“C’mon we're leaving.”

“Leaving? But we just got here.”

“So? Now we gotta go.” Seungkwan is pulling Mingyu out of the seat by his sleeve.

“I haven’t even ordered a drink yet.” Mingyu protested.

“We can go somewhere else to get a drink.” Seungkwan urged. “Get up.” God, why does Mingyu have to be so difficult?

“Let me go.”

“Not until you get up.”

Seungkwan and Mingyu are engaging in a tug war. Mingyu yanked his sleeve away from Seungkwan so forcefully that it sent the latter stumbling backwards into a passing waiter holding a tray of drinks. He didn’t have time to react to the entire tray spilling on him or the shattering glass that had people looking in their direction. His shirt is completely soaked. The horrified waiter gasped.

“I’m so sorry, sir.” he spluttered. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Seungkwan muttered, throwing a dirty look at Mingyu seeing that it was his fault for being stubborn.

“Seungkwan?”

Crap.

Wonwoo is rushing over. “You soaked wet. Here let me help you” he grabbed some napkins from an empty table.

Seungkwan is about to say he doesn’t need any help but the older man is already wiping the mess off his shirt. He can feel his face turn red from the way Wonwoo is running the napkin up and down on his body, almost close to his face. It doesn’t help that Mingyu is just standing watching the scene unfold with amusement in his eyes.

Seungkwan grabbed hold of Wonwoo’s wrists to stop him. “I think that’s enough. Thank you.” 

Wonwoo smiled. “If you insist.”

Seungkwan realized his hands are still on Wonwoo’s wrists. He retreated his hands quickly. 

Mingyu bounced forward. “Hello we haven’t met. I’m Kim Mingyu and I’m single.” he flashed a dazzling smile at Wonwoo.

“Alright we’re leaving now.” Seungkwan declared practically dragging Mingyu outside. “See you at work tomorrow.” he said quickly over his shoulder at Wonwoo. He doesn’t wait to hear what the other says.

<>

_11:35 am_

“I think I just realized something.” Mingyu said in a singsong voice. “Do you wanna know what it is?”

“Do I have a choice?” 

“I mean it’s kinda obvious, I thought you would’ve noticed by now.”

“Noticed what?”

“It’s clear as day….Wonwoo likes you.” Mingyu proclaimed happily.

Seungkwan gives him an incredulous look. “That’s ridiculous. Why would you say something foolish like that.”

“It’s not foolish. It’s true. You didn’t see the way he looked at you but I did . The lust in his beautiful eyes.”

“Now I know you are exaggerating .” Seungkwan shrugged Mingyu off him. “Do I need to remind you that I have a boyfriend and also Wonwoo is my boss.”

“So you’re telling me that you don’t think he’s cute?”

Seungkwan sighed. “Ok, fine he’s good looking but he’s still my boss.”

Mingyu beamed. “Aha, I say cute but you say good looking and those, my friend, are two completely different descriptions.”

“Can we drop the subject of Wonwoo for now.” Seungkwan said in an annoyed tone. He looks down at his crismon stained shirt. “I gotta go home so I can change out this mess of a shirt.”

Mingyu grabbed his hand. “Nonsense, I’m sure we will find something for you to wear at my apartment.”

<>

1 _1:54_

“Here.” Mingyu tossed the silk shirt to Seungkwan. “I always say pink is your color. Pink was made for you.”

Seungkwan checked himself out in the mirror. The shirt is a little big at the bottom but he does look good.

Mingyu lay down on the bed popped up by his elbow. “I’m sure Wonwoo would agree if he were here.” he smirked.

“Not this again.”

“I couldn’t help myself. I had to.”

Seungkwan flopped down on the bed right by him. He laid down with his hands on his stomach staring at the ceiling lost in thought. He always thought of Wonwoo as a mentor to him. When he needed advice, he knew he could rely on Wonwoo for guidance. Now he feels a dreading sensation stomach thinking about Wonwoo. He refuses to believe his boss could be capable of doing something so vile yet again he doesn’t really know anything about Wonwoo.

He doesn’t realize Mingyu has been babbling. “A man with a body like any other. Skin so clear that you beg him to reveal his skincare routine.”

“Mingyu.”

“Captivating features that would make you go blind.”

“Mingyu.”

“And let’s not forget a as-”

“Mingyu can you shut the fuck up for a minute. I gotta tell you something.” 

“What?”

Seungkwan sits up, fear crossed his face. 

“I think…..Wonwoo might be the one behind the unknown number. I think he’s stalking me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not related to this chapter but I already know who I'm going kill.
> 
> Also heads up this fic is finna be long lol probably 60ish chapters or more once I write them of course lol.
> 
> Discussion Time: Do you think Wonwoo is the one sending the unknown texts or could it be someone else?


	26. Chapter 26

_12:00 pm_

“I don’t understand why you can’t take your boyfriend.” Jihoon grumbled. 

“I told you I can’t tell you..it’s complicated. I can’t think of anyone else to ask and you my last option, hyung.”’

Jihoon rolled his eyes. “Wow thanks for the compliment. I’m so touch.” he said sarcastically.

“C’mon it won’t be bad. There’s going to be an open bar.” Hansol remarked. 

“Well you see me, unlike you, isn’t an alcoholic.” Jihoon pointed out. 

Hansol ignored that statement. “I’m just looking for a simple answer. Is that too much to ask for?”

The shorter man thinks for a minute. “Fine.” he finally said. “It’s not like I have any plans for tomorrow night anyway.” 

Hansol clasped his hands together. “Good, I’ll pick up at 8:00 pm. I really appreciate you doing this.” 

“Whatever.” Jihoon’s phone rings. He checks the caller ID to see who it is. His eyes narrowed as he stared at the screen. “Got business to take care of. See you at the radio station.”

“Yeah. yeah. “ Hansol replied. Now that he’s sitting at the table by himself, he takes out his mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, liking random pics from people he follows. Suddenly his phone signaled an incoming phone from an unknown number.

With eyebrows raised, he answered. “Didn’t I block you?”

“You tried.” A robotic voice replied that’s clearly used to mask the identity of the idiot on the other line. “But you can’t really get rid of me.” 

“So are you going tell me what the fuck you want or nah.” 

“I want…….Seungkwan.” 

Hansol almost dropped the latte he had in his hand. “Excuse me.” he snarled. He didn’t have time for this bullshit.

“You heard me.” The robotic voice said almost coolly. 

“Well sorry to break it to you asshole but Seungkwan is my mine.”

“Not for long.” With that, the line goes dead.

Hansol blinking furiously at the screen wondering what the hell just happened. So whoever this is thinks they're gonna take his boyfriend away from him. He immediately blocks the unknown number for the second time.

“Yeah, right.” he muttered, finishing the rest of his latte so he can get ready to go to work. 

<>

_12:15_

Mingyu simply gawked at him for a minute before busting out laughing.

“So let me get this straight you think your boss is stalking you. Is that what you’re telling me.” 

Seungkwan crossed his arms. “ I don’t think it’s funny. If you must know, I have proof.” 

Mingyu raised his eyebrows. “Oh really?” 

“First,how did he even know where I live without me never telling him.”

“Maybe he looked up your address online like normal people do.”

“Okay then explain how these unknown messages started as soon as I got promoted.Plus last week Sollie showed me a picture he received that showed me and Wonwoo leaving The Swan Lounge. I think both came from the same number.”

“Uh, if he’s supposedly stalking you then how in the hell did you take the photo when he was with you?”

“I don’t know.” A thought just popped into Seungkwan’s head. “That message you got, he could also have taken that photo of us.”

Mingyu placed his hands on Seungkwan’s shoulders. “Kwannie, I need you to listen to what you are saying. Wonwoo had to have been like in his late 20s back then probably living in a different city. Do you really think he had the time to follow a bunch of teenagers around? I know this is gonna be hard for you to accept...he’s not terrorizing you. He has a crush on you, a simple crush,that’s it.”

Seungkwan lets Mingyu’s words sink in and now he feels awful. How can he be stupid to think that his boss would do something like that. He puts his hands in his face.

“You’re right. I can’t believe I just falsely accused Wonwoo of stalking me. What was I thinking? I’m such a idiot.”

Mingyu is rubbing circles in his back. “No you not, you just trying to find out who’s behind all these mysterious texts you keep getting and you, no scratch that, we will find out eventually, okay.For now let’s enjoy the few hours we have left in peace before you have to leave, okay?”

Seungkwan removed his hands from his face. “Okay, thanks for talking some sense into me.” he laid his head on Mingyu’s shoulder. Mingyu gives him a side hug

“That’s what friends are for. Sooo your incredibly hot boss got a crush on you, huh. Guess work is going to be really interesting now.” he smirked.

Seungkwan threw a pillow at a laughing Mingyu. “Shut up.”

<>

_8:30 pm_

“Ok which one do you like..the purple or the blue one.”

“The purple.” Hansol said, eyes glued to his laptop.

“But you’re not even looking.” Mingyu whined. 

“Does it even matter what I think? Y’know you going look good in whichever one you wear.”

Mingyu flopped down on the couch besides him. “That’s not the point.” he glared at the screen. “Are you still working on track 5?”

“Yes, it’s literally becoming the hardest one too.” Hansol sighed, his hand raking through his messy hair. “I still have like seven tracks left to work on before Friday.”

Mingyu kisses his temple. “I’m sure you're gonna be okay. Stop fretting. You need a distraction from all this hard work.”

Hansol lifted a brow at him. “And what are you suggesting?”

“Well.” Mingyu leans in to plant on his neck, one hand on his chest slightly pushing him back on the couch. “I have something in mind.” He let his other hand travel down Hansol’s stomach to his crotch area.

Hansol gulped and turned to look at Mingyu. He can see the other’s eyes burned with passion. At one point Hansol thought about this scenario but he never thought it was actually going to happen. Does he want this? He doesn’t know.

“A-are you sure you want to do this.” Hansol stammered, he can feel sweat creeping up on his forehead.

Mingyu slid off the couch, kneeling down in the process of unzipping Hansol’s pants. “I want to do this. I wanna help you. Just relax.”

Hansol hitched his breath staring down at Mingyu pulling down his underwear, his cock springing out. Mingyu grabs hold of it slowly stroking, lowering his head to the tip brushing his tongue on it for five minutes before he pulls it hard into his mouth. Hansol threw his head back letting out a moan. Fuck this feels good, his senses intensifying at the sucking noise and Mingyu’s head bobbling up and down. He can feel himself cumming as he grips the back of Mingyu’s har. He didn’t expect the latter to swallow. Mingyu pulled his mouth away, smiling at Hansol with cum dripping on his chin. Hansol leaned down and kissed him tasting his own cum on his lips.

“Shit.” he breathed, “That was-”

“Amazing I know.” Mingyu finished. He gets from the floor. “I have been told I’m good at giving head.”

“Y-yeah you are.” Hansol spluttered, he checks the time on his phone. “I should get going now.”

“You're coming back tomorrow, right?”

Hansol gives him one more kiss.

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that just happen....


	27. Chapter 27

_9:20 pm_

Hansol opens the front door quietly slipping into the bedroom but then he notices that Seungkwan is still up sitting cross legged on the bed with his laptop in front of him.

“Why are you still up?.” Hansol asked, taking his shoes off.

“Because I got work to catch up on which I should have done today.” Seungkwan replied, not looking up from the screen. “I gotta make sure all the reports are updated before I go back to work tomorrow.”

Hansol places a kiss on Seungkwan’s neck and then another one. Seungkwan slightly scoots away from him.

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean what am I doing. I’m trying to be romantic.” Hansol muttered, planting more kisses on Seungkwan’s neck.

“I get that but why right now. I’m busy.” Seungkwan said. He really needs to get these reports done before he goes to bed. Not like he doesn’t mind his boyfriend’s kisses, it’s just that he doesn’t like getting behind on his work.

“C’mon can’t that wait for a minute.” Hansol mumbled into his ear. “I want you like right now.” 

Seungkwan twists around to look at him. “But I-” he’s cut off by Hansol kissing him in a way that he never did before. Seungkwan feels himself giving into the kiss as he laid back on the bed with his hand on the back of Hansol’s head not wanting to break the kiss. Hansol is now on top of him as the kiss gets more deep and intense. Seungkwan is tugging Hansol’s shirt off him and his too.

“I honestly don’t know what has gotten into you lately. You never been this spontaneous.” Seungkwan groaned as Hansol kissed the spot right below his collarbone.

“Never too late to try new things.” Hansol smirked, pulling Seungkwan’s pants down. “You make me horny.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Seungkwan purred as he pulled Hansol closer to him.

<>

_Tuesday- 10:15 am_

“Well you seem chippy this morning.” 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Seungkwan sang, putting his bag down on his desk. Jun is leaning in the doorway watching him with an amusement expression on his face.

“Yes you do. So you gonna tell me or what.”

“Fine, last night me and Hansol had sex and it was so...epic like he’s never been that way before. The orgasms I had I think I lost count.”

Jun put his hands over his ears. “Okay ew gross I don’t think I needed to know that sorry I asked.”

Seungkwan laughed. “That’s why you should stop being nosy then.”

“What’s going on here.”

Wonwoo appears in the doorway standing right by Jun looking at both males.

“Oh we were just discussing Seungkwan’s wild sex life.” 

“Shut up, no we weren’t.” Seungkwan muttered, avoiding looking at his boss. He doesn’t know why he’s getting embarrassed all of sudden.

Wonwoo cleared his throat. “Um, anyway I just came back to see if you have those reports ready and you.” he rounded on Jun. “I need those numbers analyzed before 12.”

Jun puts a hand to his forehead giving a salute. “Aye aye my captain.” he gives Seungkwan a wink before leaving. Now it’s just Seungkwan and Wonwoo, an awkward silence fills the air. Wonwoo finally speaks.

“I know this is your office but can you please keep personal discussions out of the workplace.” he said with a polite smile that looked more like a grimace. Maybe Seungkwan is imagining things but he thought the older man’s tone sounded different- was it bitterness?

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” Seungkwan can feel himself blushing with embarrassment. His boss is right, he shouldn’t be wasting company’s time. “I finished the reports last night. I can pull them up so you can see.” he sits down at his desk turning on the computer.

“Good.” This time Wonwoo flashing a genuine smile at him. “I know I can always count on you to come through, Seungkwan I mean you’re my best employee here.”

“Oh, uh thank you.” Seungkwan feels that usual heat creeping up on the back of his neck any time his boss praises him. I mean anyone would react that way if their boss said things like that..right?

It only took a few minutes for Seungkwan to pull what the older man needed to see. Wonwoo is standing behind him, he leans in closer to look at the screen so that Seungkwan can hear his breathing in his left ear. He cast a sideway glance at him, he would admit that Wonwoo is nice looking with a perfectly structured face. What is he doing? He shouldn't be looking or thinking of his boss in that way. He bites the inside of his cheek trying to keep his thoughts blank. 

“You did a good job organizing all of this, maybe I should make you my personal assistant instead.” Wonwoo chuckled, turning his head to look at Seungkwan. They so close their noses could literally touch each other. There was a moment of silence as Seungkwan bore his eyes into Wonwoo’s beautiful face. Wait what, why would he think that. 

Seungkwan is startled by the ringing of his phone. He looks at the display screen. He furrowed his brows when he realized who’s calling him.

“Hello?”

“Kwannie, it’s been awhile.” A robotic voice said. “Thought you forgot about me.”

“I’m sorry you must have the wrong number.” Seungkwan stated, trying to maintain his composure since Wonwoo is here.

“You and I both know I don’t have the wrong number.” The robotic voice claimed. “I missed you. You all I think about. You gonna realize-”

Seungkwan hangs up. He doesn’t care nor want to hear whatever this mysterious person has to say. He told himself he wasn’t going to give this idiot any more time. So why was he having a hard time doing just that.

“Seungkwan, are you okay?” Wonwoo asked

“Uh, yeah. Just someone had the wrong number.” Seungkwan flashed what he hoped was a convincing smile at the other.

Wonwoo straighten up. “Right, those types of people can be so annoying sometimes. So where are you heading for lunch? Do you wanna go to The Swan Lounge?”

“Actually I was going to the cafe around the corner with Jun. It’s our usual lunchtime hangout, you can come with us if you want.”

“That’s ok.” Wonwoo smiled. “I got memos to work on, maybe some other time.”

“Okay.” Seungkwan thought he heard a slight disappointment in his boss’s voice but maybe he didn’t.

“Okay, I should get going.Thanks for finishing those reports”

Seungkwan grinned. “No problem.” Wonwoo gives him one more smile before walking out of the door.

Once he’s gone, Seungkwan lets the smile he had on his face fall as he puts his hands in his face letting out a sigh. Just then his phone starts to vibrate. He knows he should just ignore whoever it is but it could be someone important, right?. Well he’s wrong.

**Unknown: If you are curious, be at the old industrial warehouse at 5 pm.**

Seungkwan bites down on his lower lip. He’s debating whether he should go or not. Yet again, curiosity is getting the best of him. 

He just wants to know once and for all who the hell this person is.

<>

_4:55 pm_

Seungkwan stepped out of his car, the chilly air had him clutching his jacket as he looked at the rundown gray building in front of him. He opens up the gate that’s barely holding on as he walks into an empty courtyard. His phone rings.

“You early, I’m impressed.” The robotic voice said. “Did you leave work early for me. I’m a little flatter.”

“Where are you? It’s 5.” Seungkwan is looking around, the quiet atmosphere is kind of making him uncomfortable.

The robotic voice. “Oh kwannie so naive yet so adorable. You know I can’t just present myself to you that would be too easy. However I do love watching you. All the time.”

Seungkwan can feel his inside sink. Of course this unknown individual wasn’t going to show up. How can he be so stupid to think otherwise.

“You lied to me.” Seungkwan hissed. “You say you were going to be here.” Whoever is on the other end of the line goes silent that he thinks maybe the person hung up but he can hear breathing. “I know you here. Show yourself. This isn’t funny. Hello? Hello? Are you still there?” 

There’s more silence then Seungkwan hears a click and the line goes dead.

“Fuck.” he said loudly. He feels so dumb for being tickled into coming here however he can’t shake the uneasy feeling that he’s being watched. He looks around the courtyard but no one is there. He’s about to leave when he hears a voice behind him.

“Seungkwan?”


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: mild drug use

_5:04 pm_

Seungkwan whipped his head around to see who the newcomer is. It’s Seungcheol.

“What are you doing here?”

Seungcheol crossed his tattooed arms. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“I’m meeting someone..well I thought I was but they didn’t show up.” Seungkwan declared. He didn’t feel like going into details especially with his stepbrother.

“So someone wanted to meet you at an abandoned factory in the shadiest part of town?” Seungcheol asked, eyebrows raised. “Is that what you are telling me.”

“Yes and frankly it’s none of your business.” Seungkwan said curtly. “And you still haven’t answered my question on why are you here.”

Seungcheol shrugged. “I was driving past when I saw your car. Being the good stepbrother I am, I follow you and here we are.”

“Whatever.” Seungkwan muttered. All he wanted to do now was get out of here. He’s on his way of walking back towards the gate when a hand grabs his wrist. He’s now face to face with Seungcheol who is looking at him with concerned eyes.

“Listen, I know we don’t get along like we should but never forget I do care about you and you can tell me anything, okay?”

“Okay.” Seungkwan shakes his wrist free from the older man’s grip. He walks away without saying anything else to Seungcheol.

<>

_7:00 pm_

Hansol is standing in the mirror looking at his outfit. He doesn’t know what type of party this is going to be. He wonders if he’s too overdressed or underdressed. He comes to the conclusion neither opinions shouldn’t matter as he grabbed his phone checking the time. It’s almost time for him to pick up Jihoon. With a sigh, he walks out of the bedroom.

“Have fun at the concert.” Seungkwan said from the couch where he is mindlessly flipping through channels.

“Yeah,ok.” Hansol didn’t like lying, especially to his boyfriend but what other choice did he have? There’s no way he’s going to tell him the truth.

I’m doing this to protect him, Hansol thinks. Besides it’s just a little lie.

What’s the worst that can go wrong?

<>

_7:10 pm_

“I thought you say this was supposed to be a small party.”

“Well that’s what Eunwoo told me.” Hansol checked the address again to make sure he wasn’t wrong. Sure enough the address is correct and judging from what he’s looking at, small is definitely the opposite of this party. There is a huge crowd of people mingling outside of a mansion. Multiple cars ( a majority of them look expensive) are lined up outside with even more people standing around them.

For a second Hansol considered changing his mind and driving away but he did promise Eunwoo he would come and he can’t back away from that promise now as much as he wanted to. 

“I mean it’s just a larger amount of people. I’m sure it’s not going to get any crowded.” Hansol said in a hesitant tone. He parked his car on the curb. The two men heading inside and to Hansol’s disappointment, it’s just more people inside than outside. Music is blazing in the background and lights are flashing in every direction. Hansol is looking around to see if he can find Eunwoo when he hears his name being called

“Hansol, Hansol.”

Jaehyun is approaching them with a wide smile on his face. “Long time, no see,huh. It’s good to see you again.”

Hansol rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah. This is my friend, Lee Jihoon.”

Jaehyun slightly bowed to Jihoon before turning back to Hansol with that same wide smile on his face. “I’m so glad you came. By the way the bar is over there and the drinks are free of course.” 

“And that’s where I will be.” Jihoon said, not wasting a minute to get away. Hansol is about to follow him when a hand on his shoulder stops him. 

“Hey do you mind if I have a few quick words.” Jaehyun asked Hansol quietly. 

“Um yeah sure.” Hansol is a bit confused because he has no idea what Jaehyun wanted to talk about considering the fact he barely knew him. Nonetheless, he followed the latter upstairs into a smaller room that resembled a library with books lined up on a shelf and a fireplace in the middle. Sitting on the couch was Eunwoo wearing a white button down shirt with the top buttons open to reveal his collarbone and the sleeves rolled up. He’s staring at the depths of the fireplace. Hansol thinks he looks kind of sad but when they approached, Eunwoo turned his head revealing a smile.

“Well well look who it is.” Eunwoo said softly, eyes bore into Hansol as he uncrossed his legs. “Sorry I’m not in the midst of the party. I needed a little break.” he chuckled, patting a hand on the empty spot right by him on the couch giving Hansol a pointed look.

Hansol hestiately sits right by him. For some reason he feels nervous in Eunwoo’s presence, the latter definitely looked like a model with elegant features and an amazing body proportion. However Hansol can’t shake this feeling there’s more to Eunwoo that he doesn’t know. Jaehyun settles down on his right side never taking his eyes off of Hansol.

“I agree, there’s way too many people. Crowds can make anyone feel suffocated. Don’t you agree, Hansol?”

“Uh, yeah. About that, you told me this was supposed to be a small gathering.” Hansol said to Eunwoo who let out a slight laugh.

“Right, sorry about that. It was just other people started to find out and well you know how news travels fast.” Eunwoo placed a hand on Hansol’s thigh, flashing a wide grin. 

“Um it’s ok I guess.” Hansol mumbled, feeling a little flustered by the actor’s hand on his thigh. He tries to scoot over but it’s hard with Jaehyun sitting so close to him on a couch that has so much space. He’s literally sandwiched in between them that he can’t even move if he wanted to. 

“I think we should have a little party in here...just the three of us and I know how to get things started.” Jaehyun exclaimed, rummaging inside the inner pocket of his jacket pulling out a small baggie filled with a white substance. He slides off the couch kneeling down in front of the coffee table. Eunwoo joins him as the latter is sorting three lines. They both glanced back at Hansol who is still sitting on the couch blinking blankly at the table.

“Aren’t you going to join us?” Eunwoo asked, tilting his head curiously at Hansol.

“Um it’s just that I never did something like that before.” Hansol spluttered. Okay maybe he’s lying but still. Jaehyun grabbed hold of his wrist forcefully dragging him down on the floor.

“I know you are lying. You don’t have to lie around us, we are trustworthy.” Jaehyun told him.

Eunwoo nodded. “Yeah, no need, you can trust us with anything.” he said sweetly, ruffling Hansol’s hair.

Hansol stares at the three lines of coke in front of him. He thinks back to that night when he, Seungkwan and Mingyu did it for the first time even then he really didn’t want to. “Don’t we need a rolled up won?”

Jaehyun snorted. “A rolled up won? Please that’s child play if you really want to feel the experience you gotta do it like this.” he titled his head down putting a finger to his left nostril while using the right nostril to snort the line. 

Eunwoo does the same thing and now it’s Hansol’s turn. He awkwardly lowered his head using his left nostril. Just like the first time, he doesn’t immediately feel the effects then all of sudden he feels like the room is spinning and he can feel his pulse beating rapidly. He feveriousy rubbed his nose. He can hear Jaehyun and Eunwoo laughing. 

“The strong stuff can really have an impact especially on first time users.” Jaehyun stated, eyes sparking with amusement at Hansol’s reaction.

Eunwoo pushed a bemused Hansol back on the couch. “So you and Kwannie have been together for like 5 years now, am I correct?”

“Yeah.” Hansol murmured. The effects of the coke making it hard for him to form a sentence. It doesn’t help that Eunwoo is running a hand through his hair. 

“That’s amazing. To be with someone who you love.” he said quietly. “Everyone deserves to be loved.”

“I guess.” Hansol feels so out of it. A bump on his knee had him turning to Jaehyun who had an elbow popped up on the couch.

“You’re his first steady relationship since high school. Honestly after what happened with Youngjae, I thought he was never gonna date again.” Jaehyun pauses for a minute. “I mean unless you count what he had with Mingyu.”

Hansol furrowed his brows. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh he never told you?”

“Told me what?”

“That him and Mingyu used to date.”

Hansol is so taken back that he doesn’t know what to do. He knew Seungkwan and Mingyu had been friends since high school but Seungkwan never mentioned that they dated so this is definitely news to Hansol. 

“I didn’t...know that.” he said.

Eunwoo waved a hand. “It wasn't nothing to be honest. They weren’t together for a long time, probably like a couple months. But during those months, they were totally inseparable. I was a little surprised when they broke up.”

Jaehyun nodded in agreement. “Come to think of it… Mingyu hasn’t really been in a long term relationship since Seungkwan. Makes you wonder, huh” he trailed a hand on Hansol’s leg. 

“You’re good friends with Mingyu, right?” Eunwoo asked Hansol, twirling a finger around Hansol’s blonde locks.

“Yeah.” Hansol is having a hard time keeping up with the rapid switch in the conversation.

“So what are thoughts about him?”

“What do you mean?”

“Surely you think he’s attractive.” Jaehyun added, gliding his hand up and down on Hansol’s leg. “I mean who doesn’t.”

Hansol can feel heat on the back of his neck. Why are they asking him this? “He’s okay looking I guess.” he grumbled.

Eunwoo inched closer. “Just okay looking? So you never thought about him...in any other way.”

“You know what, I'm a little surprised he hasn’t tried to make a move on you.” Jaehyun chimed in. “You are good looking and that’s how he likes his type.”

“He wouldn’t do that. He’s my friend and I’m with his best friend.” Hansol muttered. He’s trapped in between the two males. 

Eunwoo chuckled. “So why would that stop him. With his high number of hookups and one stands, one might say he’s a….whore.”

“Or a slut.” Jaehyun whispered into Hansol’s ear.

Hansol abruptly got up, clenching his fists. It’s taking all of his willpower to not punch these idiots in their stupid faces. He doesn’t understand how Seungkwan and Mingyu could have been friends with people like this. Who the fuck talks about a friend like that, he thought angrily. He stormed out of the room not caring if Jaehyun or Eunwoo were calling him. He just wants to get out of here. He looks around the crowded room trying to find Jihoon. He finally sees him talking to someone.

“Come on, we're leaving.” Hansol said through tipped lips, he can still feel his blood boiling as he took hold of his friend’s elbow particularly dragging him to the front door.

“What are you doing? Do you know who I was talking to he’s a producer at Pledis Entertainment-”

“Don’t care.” Hansol interrupted him. “We need to leave like right now.”

“Okay, okay. What happened because you look pissed.” 

“Nothing.” Hansol lied. “Just tired.”

<>

_8:00 pm_

Still seething mad, Hansol didn’t notice the envelope under the door. He picked it up, inside is a photo of him and Mingyu that was taken on the day they were at Greenhouse records. Scribbling across the photo in red link is five words:

**Honestly is the best policy.**

Hansol stares at the photo of him and Mingyu embracing. He’s looking at how happy he looks hugging the other. Who took the photo he doesn’t know or care at this point.

He tears the photo into pieces.


	29. Chapter 29

_ Wednesday -7:30 am  _

“How was the concert?” 

“Uh… it was okay.” 

Seungkwan stirred his coffee giving him a puzzled look. “Just okay?” 

“Well what else do you want me to say.” Hansol is still thinking about last night. About what Jaehyun and Eunwoo told him. He’s contemplating whether he should tell the truth. Yet again that would do just more damage. 

“Let’s go out tonight.” 

“What?” Hansol is completely caught off guard by the change in the conversation. “You want to go out on a Wednesday?” 

“Yeah why not. Oooo we could go to that cute little Italian restaurant that I've been dying to go to.It would be fun. Anyway I should get ready for work.” Seungkwan gives him a swift kiss before disappearing into the bathroom.

Hansol bites down on his lower lip. If he can’t confide in his boyfriend then there’s someone else he could.

He's just hoping he’s making the right decision.

<>

_9:30 am_

Seungkwan realized there’s a pro and con to being a senior account executive. The pro is having his own office which he’s thankful for. 

The con is Wonwoo’s growing presence. At first it didn’t bother him but then the older man started to spend more time in his office than Seungkwan does asking his advice about everything to the point Seungkwan excused himself making a getaway to the bathroom. Once inside the stall, he leans against the dorr letting out a sigh. The bathroom door opens up again and the sound of two voices chatting. Seungkwan is about to unlatch the door when a familiar name coming from one of the stranger’s mouths made him stop. 

“Yeah and Wonwoo basically told him it’s okay like seriously Dowon is a damn good account executive.” 

“Wasn’t Wonwoo very insistent on having that Boo Seungkwan guy going with him to that three day business trip in Busan.” 

“I mean we both know why though.” The other guy. His friend snickered.

“Never thought the boss would swing that way yet if the rumors are true I suppose it wouldn’t be that surprising.” 

Seungkwan hears the bathroom door closing and the voices dying away. He opens the stall door taking a step towards the sink where he leaned his back against it. All he can think about is how Wonwoo told him that he couldn’t find anyone at the last minute to go with him on the business trip but in reality someone did offer to go and he turned them down because he wanted Seungkwan to go with him. Seungkwan couldn’t believe it, why would his boss lie to him. Also he isn’t aware that there were rumors swirled about Wonwoo around here. Did people think he was gay? Do they think him and Seungkwan are-

No Seungkwan refuses to let that thought come into his mind. He gripped the edge of the faucet biting his lips. Ever since what happened at his old high school, rumors especially ones that involved him became a triggering topic to him. He makes his way out of the bathroom, while walking back to his office a few co workers greeted him however there were some who were simply looking at him. He could have swore he heard whispers or maybe he was just being paranoid.

He pushes open the door and sitting on his desk is a vase full of roses. There’s no note indicating who sent them. Seungkwan smiled, Hansol must have had them delivered here as a surprise romantic gesture-his Hansol who always treats him good and loves him so much. Seungkwan sits down in his chair, a guilt feeling settling in his stomach. He honestly doesn't know what he’s going to do with the current dilemma he’s facing. Does he confront Wonwoo about why he lied to him or does he just shake it off? Now that he knows his boss apparently has a crush on him, he isn’t sure what to do.

Seungkwan twirled a rose petal in between his fingers. He doesn't know how to feel about the whole crush thing. He should just ignore it.

On the other hand, a little part of him didn’t mind.

<>

_ 11:05 am _

“Well this is a little bit early.” Mingyu stated, taking his jacket off.

“Yeah.” Hansol scratched the back of his neck. He’s dreading having this talk but he knows that it has to be done. “I asked you to come over here early for a reason.”

“What’s up baby?” Mingyu asked, sitting down right by him on the couch.

Hansol takes a deep breath. “I know you and Seungkwan have been friends since high school but did you guys ever like….y’know dated.”

Mingyu doesn’t say anything for a minute, Finally he speaks.

“Yeah we did but it wasn't serious or anything.”

“That’s what Eunwoo said.” Hansol muttered. It took him a second to realize he fucked up because now Mingyu is looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“Excuse me but when did he tell you that?”

Hansol sighed, there’s no point in lying now. “Last Sunday when I went to the convenience store I ran into him there. He invited me to a party he was having Tuesday for the worldwide release of his film. That’s when he and Jaehyun told me that you two dated back in high school.”

Mingyu holds a hand up. “Wait, Jaehyun was there too?”

“Yeah.” Hansol isn’t sure why that matters but judging by the apprehensive in the actor’s eyes it must be.

“Did they tell you anything else?” Mingyu asked, voice filled with panic.

“Uh, no.” Hansol is feeling guilty. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. “Listen if you guys used to date that’s cool I mean it’s not a big deal to me. I just wished Kwannie would’ve at least told me y’know.”

Mingyu seemed to not listen to anything he just said because his face is still pale as he took hold of Hansol’s hand clasped them into his. “I need you to listen to me clearly...Eunwoo and Jaehyun ,well mostly Jaehyun, are not like most people. They are the type of people who you should never associate with. Why do you think me and Seungkwan stop being friends with them in the first place? They..well it’s hard to describe but yeah.”

Hansol isn’t sure why Mingyu is telling him this, nonetheless he listens. “Okay, you’re right I shouldn’t have gone.”

“Does Seungkwan know?”

Hansol shook his head. “No. You’re not going to tell him, are you?”

“Of course not why would I do something like that.” Mingyu is gently stroking Hansol’s thumb. “So are you coming to the studio tonight?”

“Me and kwannie are going on a date at a Italian restaurant tonight.”

“Oh...ok.” Mingyu slumping his shoulders. “I wish I could stay but I got a meeting with a director about a potential movie role that I don’t want but seeing that I’m already on thin ice with my annoying ass uncle I have no choice.” he let out a sigh as he got up. He placed a kiss on Hansol’s lips.

“See you tomorrow?”

Hansol stroked his cheek. “Yeah tomorrow.”

<>

_7:30 pm_

“You’re right the food is amazing. We need to go there often.”

Hansol and Seungkwan just left the restaurant and now are strolling down the street. It's a beautiful clear night as they walk with hands entwined. 

Seungkwan nodded. “Same, I love these moments we have with each other seeing that you work the night shift at that radio station and I got more responsibilities at work.”

Hansol facing him pulling him into his arms. “Your boss is not giving you a hard time.”

Seungkwan wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck giving him a kiss. “Of course not and if he were, I know my strong handsome boyfriend wouldn’t let that happen.”

“Damn right.” Hansol growled. “Probably would beat him up. Hey what’s up.” he noticed the sudden change in Seungkwan’s expression staring at something over his shoulder.

“Impossible.”

“What’s impossible?” Hansol turns around to see what he’s looking at and even from a distance he can make out the laughing two men exiting a bar. 

_Mingyu and Wonwoo._


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stream Home;Run for clear skin, good grades and a better future.

**Hours Earlier...**

_11:30 am_

“How long do we have to wait.” Mingyu asked, carelessly drumming his fingers on the armchair.

“Not much longer.” His uncle replied. They are sitting inside the director’s office. The director is a short clubby man nearly going bald. He was the only one in the room who seemed happy while Mingyu silently wished he was anywhere else but here.

“Mr.Kim can I tell you how excited I am that you accepted this role.” The short director exclaimed, sounding a little bit too excited. “This movie is going to be a game changing for your career I feel.”

I doubt that, Mingyu thought. The double oak wooden door opened up and walked in were the last two people he hoped to never see again. Eunwoo strolling in and closely following behind was Jaehyun, they both took a seat across from Mingyu at the long oval table. Both of their faces shined with satisfaction and eyes sparkling with mischievousness. 

“Ah Mr. Cha you here.” The director said happily, clearly obvious to the tense air. “Now you can finally meet your co worker. You two being in this movie is going to be epic.I already scheduled a script reading for Monday.”

“What the fuck I’m not working with this psycho.” Mingyu blurted out, already on his feet getting ready to leave. 

“Mingyu.” His uncle reproached but Mingyu didn’t care he’s had enough. Now the room is silent with the confused director to Eunwoo’s calm demeanor to Jaehyun seeming enjoying the outburst to his uncle’s scornful look. 

“I would work with anyone else but him.” Mingyu said, pointing an accusing finger at Eunwoo who is just sitting there blinking blankly staring at him. With that he stalked out of the room.

He’s already outside heading towards his car when he hears a voice behind him.

“What is your problem?” Eunwoo is standing there with his arms crossed.

“What’s my problem? Are you really going to ask me that?” Mingyu wanted to laugh. “You know exactly what my problem is….it’s you.” he jabbed a finger at the other’s chest. “You got some nerve thinking I want to work with you of all people.”

“Listen I know I can’t change what happened back in high school but I can at least right my wrongs starting with you.”

Mingyu stared at him in disbelief, not sure if Eunwoo was being sincere or pulling some acting bullshit. “Right your wrongs? Do you really think starring in a film with me is going to change anything because sorry to break it to you it’s not.”

He had a hand on his car door when Eunwoo reached out to stop him.

“Gyu, please why can’t you accept the fact I’m trying to change.” he pleaded. “I want us to be on friendly terms again. It’s that too much to ask for.”

“Well if you are trying to change maybe you should start by apologizing to the person whose high school years you screwed up and not me.” Mingyu spat. “Now please I have somewhere I need to be.” He gets in his car driving off. In his rearview mirror, he can see Eunwoo still standing in the same spot.

<>

_12:30 pm_

“You're late.” A cold voice greeted him.

“Sorry I had a meeting with the director for an upcoming film.” Mingyu replied sheepishly sitting down in the seat.

“That’s not an excuse for being late.” His father drawled, not even bothering to ask his son about the role or the movie. In his usual typical fashion, he scolds Mingyu which he does every time he visits. They are inside an upscale restaurant which Mingyu thought looked nice if it wasn’t for his father’s irritability. 

“I’m sorry it won’t happen again.” Mingyu said politely. He wanted to ask his father why he even bothered to ask him to come here if he’s just going to find problems. He decided to keep his mouth shut as he watched his father buttered a roll. His father always does this thing where he doesn’t say anything for a couple minutes knowing whatever he’s about to say to his son must be important. Finally the elder man spoke.

“Your sister got married.”

“Wow, congratulations to her.” Mingyu remarked, he doesn’t understand why his father couldn’t tell him this over the phone and not in person. That’s when it clicked in his head the direction this conversation is about to head.

His father eyed him. “And what about you?”

Yep he was correct. “Dad, you know I’m busy with acting and modeling. I don't have time for relationships.”

“Stop making excuses. You’re in your thirties with no wife or husband or kids. Are you ever going to give me grandkids or keep using your little preposterous career as an excuse.”

Mingyu stands up abruptly not caring if he draws attention to himself. Despite the countless awards he has won and the positive reviews he gets not to mention the fact he’s been on every magazine cover. Nothing he does would never be good enough for his father. Never.

“Sit down.” His father hissed at him.

“No. I’m tired of you finding problems with everything I do. You acting like I’m that old. I still have time to start a family or get married. Why are you always on my back about that.”

“Because you still don’t have a clear path in your life. I’m just to help you.”

Mingyu barked out a laugh. “Help? Since when the hell have you ever helped me. Are still pressed about the fact I didn’t follow your footsteps in becoming a doctor. Is this what this is really about.”

He can see his father pressed his mouth into a thin line and his nostrils flaring. Mingyu feels a little pleased that he got the old man to show any type of emotion.

“Tell me how Seungkwan is doing.” His father sneered. “ His mother should be proud to have a son who didn't turn out to be a failure.”

Mingyu clenched his teeth. “Why don’t you ask him himself, seeing I’m just nothing but a disappointment to you.” he snarled. He stormed out of the restaurant.

Inside his car he just sat there. He’s trying his hardest not to cry. He hated how his father got under his skin. Why can’t he have a father who is proud of him. It isn’t fair. He formed his hands into fists.

“Fuck.” he screamed banging his fists on the steering wheel. “Fuck, fuck. Fuck.”

The tears he’s been trying hard to hold back finally fall.

<>

Now that Hansol wasn’t coming to the studio later, Mingyu felt bored. He didn’t have anything else planned for today. He scrolls through Instagram but after a couple minutes he shuts it. He thinks about going somewhere-where exactly he doesn’t know. So he decides to hit up a few stores even though he’s got enough clothes to last him for a whole year. The first store he goes to is a shop filled with different hats and shirts. He holds up a colorful shirt and smiles thinking about how cute Hansol would look in this.

He took out his phone to snap a photo of the shirt to send to Hansol. He waited a couple of seconds for a text back that never happened. Maybe Hansol doesn’t have his phone on, he assumes. Or that’s what thought but then he sees his message mark as read. He frowned. Is Hansol intentionality ignored? He dialed the number. 

“Yeah?” Hansol answered. 

“Did you see my message?

“Yeah.”

“Well.” 

“Well what?”

Mingyu puts a finger to his temple trying to stay cool. “Did you like the shirt?”

“Um it’s cool. Are we done here because I’m in the middle of composing a song.” 

“Can I come over?”

“You were just here.” 

“I know but I’m starting to miss you.” Mingyu whined. He feels pathetic for begging but he feels so lonely.

“Too bad I’m working on my mixtape.” 

“But-“

“I say no.” Hansol said firmly. He hangs up. 

Mingyu stomped his foot in frustration. Irritated by the fact Hansol chose to work on his dumb mixtape than spend time with him. Feeling neglected and annoyed, he hurried out of the store accidentally bumping into someone.

“Sorry.” he mumbled, he held out a hand to help the stranger up.

“No need to apologize I should watch where I’m going.” The stranger grinned. The man looked like he could be the same age as Mingyu. His black hair streaked with pink highlights and sprouted a lip ring. His eyes got bigger when he saw who bumped into him. 

“Holy shit aren’t you Kim Mingyu. I’m a big fan of all your movies.” 

“Oh thank you.” Mingyu beamed. He always gets excited when fans of his come up to him. 

The stranger runs a hand through his highlighted hair. “Listen, I'm a part time reporter at a magazine company and I was wondering if I could get y’know a exclusive interview with you. I mean if you are not busy of course.” 

Mingyu thinks for a minute. He doesn’t have anything else to do today. Besides this stranger is cute, he thought. The stranger is looking at him with eager eyes waiting for his answer. 

“Of course you can interview me.” Mingyu replied. The stranger’s face split into a wide smile.

“Awesome I don’t live far away from here. Shall we get going.” 

“Wait I don’t know your name.” 

The man facepalmed himself . “Shit sorry about that. My name is Bang Chan.” He holds out a hand that Mingyu shakes. 

Mingyu rarely does spontaneous interviews however maybe doing one with this cute journalist won’t be so bad.


	31. Chapter 31

_ 1:30 pm _

“When I say I wanted an exclusive interview I wasn’t expecting this.” Chan proclaimed, sitting up on the bed pushing his sweaty hair back. “Holy shit..I’m a little surprised.” 

Mingyu pulled his shirt back on. “Sorry I shouldn’t have done that. I guess I couldn’t help myself.” he mumbled and could feel himself blushing.

“Do you hear me complaining.” Chan jumped off the bed heading towards the kitchen. “Are you hungry? Thirsty?” 

“No I’m fine thank you.” Mingyu still feels a little embarrassed. Hooking up with a stranger in the middle of the afternoon is something he’s never done before. He would admit it made him feel a little giddy. 

Chan twisted off the cap of his soda. “I forgot to ask you this but in your upcoming film you are working alongside Cha Eunwoo, right?” 

“I’m probably not going to take the role to be honest.” 

Chan titled his head giving him a curious look. “Why? In interviews he always talks about you.” 

“What does he say?” Mingyu is completely oblivious to this new piece of information.

Chan shrugged. “Y’know stuff about how he and you used to be high school friends and how he wants to mend broken fences between you two.” 

Mingyu clutching the bed sheets. Leave it to Eunwoo to make himself an innocent victim in the media.“Yeah well I want to concentrate more on modeling instead of acting.” 

“Right you got that Gucci photoshoot this Friday?” 

“Wow you really are my fan.” Mingyu jokes. “What else you know about me.” 

“Plenty.” Chan winked at him. “Nah I’m just messing with you but seriously you should consider taking that role. Eunwoo is an alright actor although he’s nothing compared to you.” 

“You really think that.”

“I don’t think, I know.” Chan stated. Mingyu smiled at him. Cheeks getting red from the compliments. 

“I could stay if you don’t mind.” Mingyu asked shyly. He’s starting to like Chan more and more. 

Chan gave him a puzzled look. “Why? My boyfriend is going to be here in a couple of hours.” 

Mingyu blinking, perhaps he heard wrong. “Y-your boyfriend? Are you in a relationship?” 

“Yeah.” Chan said simply. “He’s at work now. Anyway thanks for the interview and the “other stuff’. My co-workers aren't going to believe this. Don”t worry I’ll leave out the part where you throw yourself at me.” 

Mingyu quickly got out of the bed looking at him with disbelief. “I didn’t throw myself at you.” 

Chan laughed. “Dude chill it’s ok. No need to get defensive.” 

“I’m not gonna chill. I just slept with someone’s boyfriend.” Mingyu argued back. He grabbed his pants off the floor feeling stupid and embarrassed. He opens the door and comes face to face with no other than Jaehyun. 

“Hey Jae.” Chan said cheerily. “What are you doing here.” 

“I came to drop off the book I recommended you should read.” Jaehyun replied, not taking his eyes off of Mingyu. 

“Cool thanks.”

Mingyu brushes past Jaehyun in a hurry to get away from the both of them. While waiting for the elevator, he hears a voice behind him. 

“Well well well I would say I’m surprised to see you here yet I’m not.” Jaehyun sneered.

“He wanted to do an interview.” Mingyu said through gritted teeth staring at the elevator door rather than look at this idiot’s face. 

“Oh I’m sure you did by the way your shirt is inside out.” 

Mingyu cursed under his breath, taking the shirt off to put it on the right way. 

“So what happened did he praise you for your shiity movies and you decided to hop on his dick.” 

Mingyu inhaling and exhaling. He knows Jaehyun is doing this intentionally to get him to react however Mingyu is not about to let that happen. 

“You do realize he has a boyfriend. I never thought you would stoop this low that you would fool around with other people’s boyfriends.” 

Mingyu whipped his head. “Shut up.” he snapped. So much for trying to keep up his facade. 

“Or perhaps.” Jaehyun continued, eyes gleaming. “Your self esteem is so low that any type of type of validation you receive makes you fu-“ 

Jaehyun is cut off by Mingyu pinning him against the wall. With one clutching the other’s front shirt, Mingyu drew his fist back. 

“Yeah that’s right, hit me.” Jaehyun breathed. “I knew you still have that rage in you reminds me of the good ole days in high school if you know what I mean.” 

Mingyu is glaring with his teeth blaring and chest heaving. As much as he wanted to punch this son of a bitch in the face he decides it's not worth it. He lets his hand fall to his side letting go of his grip on the latter’s shirt.

“No I’m not gonna hit because you wanna why. I, unlike you, have changed since high school.”

“You’re right about the change part. Tell Hansol I say hi.” 

Mingyu doesn’t acknowledge him as he gets into the elevator.

<>

_6:55 pm_

Mingyu can’t think of the last time he had a bad day like he did today. He’s sitting inside a bar thinking about how everything went wrong. He sighed as he stirred his drink turning his head to the side where he noticed a familiar figure sitting seats away from him. 

“Wonwoo?”

“Hey, you Seungkwan’s friend, right? Sorry I’m not good at remembering names.” The older man chuckled. 

“It’s okay.” Mingyu smiled at him. “It’s Mingyu.” 

“Right, right. How have you been?” 

“I would say fine but today is one of those days.” 

Wonwoo nodded. “Where it feels like everything is going wrong.” 

“Exactly. The person that I like doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore, my father still thinks I’m a disappointment and oh to cap it off I slept with a random stranger who's already taken.” A gloomy Mingyu puts his head in his arms. “Sorry you probably don’t wanna hear this.” 

“It’s okay I don’t mind.” Wonwoo reassured him. “Sometimes you gotta vent out your frustrations” 

“This is completely random but you don’t strike me as a bar type of guy.” 

“Oh really.” Wonwoo laughed ( Mingyu liked his laugh it sounded nice) . “And what type of guy am I to you?” 

“Upscale bar filled with people in nice attire.” Mingyu can’t stop looking at Wonwoo, the man is gorgeous. It’s taking all his willpower to not reach over and kiss this breathtaking human being. 

“I could say the same about you.” Wonwoo admitted. “I’m just here because I don’t feel like going home just yet. My daughters are with my ex wife.” 

“So you’re single.” Mingyu asked casually, feeling a tingle of excitement.

“Yes, although I may have a little crush on my co-worker.” 

“Ah crushes it kinda sucks the most when you find out a person you are crushing hard on is already with someone else though.” 

Wonwoo groaned. “That’s the worst feeling but a crush is just that … a simple crush. I’m not going to do anything about it even though I wish I could.” 

The rest of the conversation finds Mingyu explaining his photography and editing skills to Wonwoo who seems genuinely impressed. Both men are walking out of the bar right when Wonwoo is in the middle of telling a funny story involving his younger daughter. Mingyu is laughing so hard he can’t remember the last time he felt this feeling. He didn’t even hear someone calling his name.

“Mingyu.” 

<>

_ 7:35 pm _

Seungkwan and Hansol are both speechless at seeing both men (mostly Seungkwan). It’s weird seeing his best friend and boss together almost like an out of world dream. The men were laughing and that’s when Seungkwan called out. 

“Mingyu.” 

The taller man turned his head and eyes widened at the sight of them. “Seungkwan, Hansol! What a surprise.” 

“Yeah it’s a surprise alright.” Seungkwan said while a silent Hansol is just glaring at the two men. Now it’s just the four of them standing there, awkwardness in the air until Seungkwan cleared his throat.

“Mingyu, can I talk to you for a second.” He flashes a polite smile at Wonwoo before grabbing hold of his friend’s arm to drag him away out of earshot of Hansol and Wonwoo. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Um talking to Wonwoo who is not only totally cute but funny also.” 

“You don’t even know.” Seungkwan lowered his voice. “If he’s y’know…. gay.”

Mingyu crossed his arms. “Who says I’m trying to sleep with him. Maybe I just want a friend.” 

Seungkwan scoffed. “Friend...yeah right.” 

“What are you trying to imply?”

“What I’m trying to imply is that your definition of making friends is way different.” 

Mingyu opens his mouth, closes it again. “Well instead of questioning me you should be concerned about what’s going on behind you.” 

Seungkwan turned away horrified at what he’s looking at. Hansol and Wonwoo are standing nose to nose; Hansol has his fists balled up while Wonwoo’s face remains neutral but Seungkwan can see the anger raging in his boss’s eyes.

_7:33 pm_

With Mingyu and Seungkwan talking a few distance away, Hansol and Wonwoo are left standing there. 

“We meet again.” Wonwoo let out a small chuckle. However Hansol doesn’t crack a smile as he gives the older man an icy stare. 

“Did Seungkwan like the chicken noodle soup?” Wonwoo asked, hoping to start a conversation. 

“Actually he never got a chance to taste it seeing that I pour it down the drain where it belongs.” Hansol replied coolly. 

The polite smile Wonwoo had on his face fell replaced with pursed lips. “Seungkwan must have the patience of a 1,000 men to deal with you.” 

Hansol takes a step towards him. “You got a lot of talk for someone who has a schoolboy crush on my boyfriend. You are probably about to go to your lonely home and jerk off thinking about the person you obviously can’t have. Meanwhile I get to spend every waking minute with Seungkwan doing the things you wish you could but you can’t because you know why ...he’s mine and would never be ours.” 

The corners of Wonwoo’s mouth twitched. “I pray to God that one day Seungkwan wakes up and realizes he can do so much better.” 

“Wanna say that again.” Hansol snarled, jaw clenched and fists balled up. All he wants to do now is punch this bastard directly in the face. Who he thinks he is to talk to him like that.

Both men are standing nose to nose; neither of them backed down.

_7:37_

“Hey guys what’s going on?” Seungkwan squeezes into between Hansol and Wonwoo. 

“Nothing.” Hansol replied simply. “We were just having a little chit chat, weren’t we, Wonwoo?” 

“That’s right.” Wonwoo said with a smile that definitely didn’t match the anger still flaring in his eyes. “I should get going. You're still going to give me a ride home, Mingyu?” 

Mingyu, who was standing there watching the scene with surprised eyes, nodded. “Of course.” 

“We should get going too. C’mon Hansol.. Sollie?” Seungkwan repeated when he noticed Hansol was still standing there a look of disgust on his face. Seungkwan tried again placing a hand on his boyfriend’s arm. Hansol finally turns away from Wonwoo letting Seungkwan lead him away.

_7:40 pm_

Meanwhile sitting inside a car across the street is Jaehyun who is watching what is happening. 

This is better than any drama I have seen, he thought. Suddenly his phone rings. He looks at the caller ID with furrowed brows. 

“What?” he answered shortly, clearly annoyed at being interrupted from what he was doing.

“When are you coming home?” Eunwoo asked. 

“Soon.” 

“How soon is soon because it’s him…” Eunwoo sighed. “He doesn’t listen to me and-“ 

“Okay, okay.” Jaehyun said impatiently. He hangs up the phone not waiting to hear what the other said. He turned his attention back to Seungkwan and a visibly angry Hansol who were walking away and a blonde-silver haired man who was getting into Mingyu’s car. 

Jaehyun smiled to himself.

Everything is going the way he expected.


	32. Chapter 32

_7:50 pm_

“Arrogant bastard.” Wonwoo muttered angrily. “What does Seungkwan even see in him anyway.” 

“He’s not that bad.” Mingyu said quietly. Wonwoo insulting his friend isn’t sitting right with him. 

“No offense but he has a nasty attitude. Like I’m trying to be nice and he’s being rude. I don’t understand how you can be friends with someone like that.” 

Mingyu gripped his steering wheel tightly. “Where did you say you lived again?” he asked, wanting to change the subject.

“Oh you can turn the corner right here.” 

Mingyu pulls up in front of a three story victorian house. “Wow nice place.” 

“Thank you anyway it was nice talking to you.” Wonwoo smiled at him. “Y’know before everything that happened.” 

Wonwoo was already getting out of the car when Mingyu grabbed hold of his wrist. “Wait do you mind if I can have your number?” 

“Of course.” Wonwoo reaches inside the car for the actor’s phone. Mingyu bits the inside of his cheek because even in this close proximity, Wonwoo looks so good hell he even smells good too. Mentally, Mingyu just wanted to grab this gorgeous human being and kiss him. No, don't think like that, he thought. Wonwoo retreated back from the car handing Mingyu back his phone.

Mingyu cleared his throat. “I own a yacht so maybe sometimes I can take you…and your girls on there for a nice day out on the sea.”

“I'm sure they would enjoy that.” Wonwoo smiled at him. “And so would I. Good night.”

“Good night.” Mingyu drives off with a smile on his face.

Maybe today wasn’t so bad after all.

<>

_Thursday- 7:15 am_

“Can we talk about what happened last night?”

“What is there to talk about.” Hansol grabbed a bottle of champagne from the top cabinet.

Seungkwan crossed his arms. “Can you explain why you looked like you were about to fight Wonwoo.”

Hansol shrugged. “Hey he was the one who started it, not me.”

“And what exactly did he say to you that made you almost want to hit him.”

“Does it matter now. He’s a cocky bastard and I don’t like him.”

Seungkwan sighed as he sat by him at the kitchen counter. “Sollie you can’t go around trying to fight my boss hence the word boss. Did it ever occur to you I have to see him everyday at work to mention the fact tomorrow is when I go on that three day business trip with him.”

Hansol gives him an incredulous look. “Wow you just completely ignore the fact that I say he’s the one that tried to start shit with me. Why am I always the one that needs to be told to calm down.”

Seungkwan throws up his hands in frustration. “Honestly it doesn’t matter if he was the one or you that started whatever the hell happened. All I’m asking is for you to be the bigger person for once.” With that he walks out of the kitchen.

Hansol snorted. “Be the bigger person, yeah right.” he muttered as he poured himself another drink.

He would be the bigger person the day Seungkwan quits working at that company..away from Jeon Wonwoo.

<>

_9:30 am_

Seungkwan is standing outside Wonwoo’s office contemplating whether this is a good idea. Maybe he shouldn’t say anything and just pretend it never happened. On the other hand he feels like he owed an explanation to Wonwoo about last night. Hestiately, he knocks on the door.

“Come in.” Wonwoo’s deep voice said.

Seungkwan entered. Wonwoo is sitting at his desk staring at his computer screen with a preoccupied look on his face. His expression changed immediately upon Seungkwan's arrival. 

“Seungkwan, to whom I owe your early presence.” 

Seungkwan is fidgeting with his hands. “Um actually I came here to talk about last night. I just want to say I’m sorry.”

“Seungkwan you have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t even do nothing.” Wonwoo got up from his desk walking towards a couch on the other side of the room. He settled down and patted a hand on the empty spot right by him. 

“Listen I’m not the one to get involved in my employees personal lives but I have to ask you something.” Wonwoo said in a serious tone. “Does being with Hansol...make you happy?”

Seungkwan is so taken back by that question. Why would Wonwoo ask him something like that. Of course he’s happy with Hansol. Why wouldn’t he be.

“Hansol is my everything. My main source of happiness. I love him so much.” Seungkwan replied, he felt like that was a good answer but judging by his boss’s unconvincing look he guessed it wasn’t.

“It’s just that he has...a very bad temper. All I was trying to do was strike up a conversation with him and he got all pissy. I barely know him so I don’t understand what his problem is with me.”

“Actually he has this wild theory that you like me.” Seungkwan lets out a little laugh. “Stupid, right. A boss having a crush on one of their employees.”

Wonwoo abruptly stands up, straightening his suit jacket. “Yes it is stupid. Now if you don’t mind, I'm quite busy. Also I need those report figures by 1pm.” he said briskly walking back towards his desk.

Seungkwan is caught off guard by the sudden change in Wonwoo’s behavior. Nonetheless he slowly gets up from the couch. When he shuts the door walking towards his own office he can’t help but feel a little guilty with how that conversation went. He’s interrupted by his thoughts when he rounded the corner and bumped into someone. 

“Shit,sorry.” he mumbled, scooping down to pick up the shatter papers. He looked up to see who he walked into. “Oh hey Jun.” 

“Hey and no worries.” Jun said, bending down to help Seungkwan with the mess. “I should've paid attention where I was walking.”

“Wow this is a lot of work.” Seungkwan remarked, holding up papers with different graphs and charts.

“Yeah well I just found out yesterday that my landlord raised the rent again.” Jun said gloomily. “I’m struggling to pay the current amount. I’ve been asking Wonwoo for a raise but he keeps saying that he would think about it which he says every month.” he sighed.

“I could talk to him. Maybe get him to change his mind.” Seungkwan suggested.

“That’s ok I would think of something. Maybe if I put more effort into my work he would reconsider.”

Seungkwan patted his friend on the shoulder. “I hope he does.” He bidded Jun farewell.

Once he’s inside his office he opens his bag searching for his favorite pen. His hand groped on a small object. Pulling it out he realizes it’s Hansol’s flash drive. I must have put it inside my bag by accident this morning, he assumed. He thought about driving home real quick to give it to Hansol but he’s not particularly in the mood to talk to his boyfriend after their almost argument this morning. Instead he decided he would drive to the radio station during his lunch break to drop it off there since Hansol is going to be there during his night shift anyway. 

_12:00 pm_

Seungkwan walked into the radio station looking for a worker and that’s when he spotted a tall man with dark hair right by the receptionist desk.

“Excuse me.” Seungkwan approaches the man. “My boyfriend, Hansol works here on the night shift and I was wondering if you could give this to him.” he held out the flash drive. 

The man gives Seungkwan a confused look. “What are you talking about? There’s no Hansol that works the night shift, sorry.”

Now it’s Seungkwan’s turn to be confused. “But he said weeks ago that he switched his schedule so that he can work the evening shift.”

The man shook his head. “I work the evening shift and he’s definitely not there.”

“Oh okay.” Seungkwan turned away clutching the flash drive in his hand. 

If Hansol isn’t working the night shift.

Where the hell is he going at night?

<>

_12:45 pm_

Back in the office, all Seungkwan could think about is how Hansol lied to him but why. Why did he feel the need to lie to Seungkwan? Unless because-

No he would never do that to me, Seungkwan thought, Hansol loves me. That’s what he keeps saying in mind. There’s no way Hansol would do something like that. He stares at the computer screen frowning. He has two choices: he could either confront Hansol or follow him to see where exactly he’s going. He decides on the latter.

<>

_7:15 pm_

There’s a silence in the studio but not like the usually comfortable silence. More like an awkward silence as Hansol is busy on his laptop while Mingyu is scrolling through his phone but he’s not paying attention to the contents on the screen as he thinks about whether he should bring up last night.

“Hansol.” Mingyu began, feeling nervous.

“Mhm?” Hansol kept his eyes on the laptop screen.

“Do you think we can talk about….last night.”

Hansol turned to him, eyebrows raised. “Why?”

“Because don’t you wanna know how...I met Wonwoo.”

“I assume you met him at the bar.” Hansol shrugged. “So.”

Mingyu is fidgeting with fingers. “It’s that he just happened to be there and-”

“Listen Gyu no offense but I don’t care who the fuck you want to fuck.” Hansol said angrily. “It’s not like you are my boyfriend.”

Another uncomfortable silence filled the studio. Hansol finally looked at Mingyu who was looking at his hands in his lap.

“You’re right.” Mingyu said quietly. “You're not my boyfriend.”

Great now Hansol feels bad for snapping at him. “Come here.” he reached out a hand to bring Mingyu closer to him. “Sorry for...getting angry at you it’s just that that Jeon Wonwoo guy is a little suspicious to me...sketchy and I don’t want him taking advantage of you because you’re my friend and I care about you.”

“But he only wants to be my friend.” Mingyu said slowly, playing with the buttons on Hansol’s shirt.

Hansol let out a bitter laugh. “Sure he said that but he didn’t mean it. Guys like Wonwoo, you can’t trust them.”

“Okay if you sa-”

Hansol held up a hand to silence him. “Do you hear something?” Both men stop talking and can hear knocking. He looked at Mingyu with a frown.

“Was you expecting someone?”

Mingyu shook his head. “No, well I don’t think so. Not many people know I own this place.”

Hansol gets up from the couch walking down the spiral staircase. When he opens the door standing there is a pissed Seungkwan.

“Hansol Vernon Chwe, you have some explaining to do.”

<>

“Seungkwan.” Hansol said, surprised to see his boyfriend. “W-what are doing here?”

“What am I doing here? Shouldn’t I be asking you that. What is this place?” Seungkwan demanded, barging into the place. “Why do you lie and say that you work the night shift.” 

“How did you even know I was here?” 

“Because I fucked follow you here that’s how.” Seungkwan said in a raised voice. “You still haven’t asked my questions.”

“What’s all this shouting?” Mingyu ascended down the staircase. He immediately stopped in his tracks at the sight of Seungkwan. “Kwannie, what are you doing here.” his reaction is the same as Hansol’s.

Seungkwan looked at the two of them, eyes narrowed. “What the hell? Why is Mingyu here? What’s going on. Someone’s got two seconds to explain before I go off on the both of you.”

Hansol throws his hands in the air. “Fine you caught me. I was going to tell you this eventually but since you ruined the surprise. The reason I lied to you was because on my mixtape, I have a song dedicated to you and Mingyu’s been helping me with it.Now you know.”

“Oh.” A clearly flushing Seungkwan said. “Sorry I didn’t mean- uh I should get going I guess. See you at home.”

Hansol pecked a kiss on his lips. “See you at home.”

Once Seungkwan is gone, Hansol turns around to see a bewildered Mingyu looking at him.

“I didn’t know you had a song dedicated to Seungkwan on your mixtape.”

Hansol merely shrugged. “Guess now I do.” he’s already heading back towards the studio. “You coming?”

“Oh, yeah.” Mingyu stared back at the closed door. A slight guilt creeping up inside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hansol is telling Mingyu, a guy who he isn't dating btw, to not be friends with Wonwoo???
> 
> Also he straight up lied to Seungkwan. Smh
> 
> Note: I know most of yall are getting a little impatient with how I'm not getting to the point but please bear with me because after the next chapter that's when it finally happens (I have to write that chapter out first of course lol). If you go back to Chapter 1 summary then you know what I'm talking about.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mild Smut

_Friday-8:30 am_

Seungkwan is standing in front of the bedroom mirror looking at himself. An odd feeling fluttering inside his stomach. He keeps refixing his hair until he realizes that he’s being crazy. It’s just a simple business trip so why is he acting so nervous. He finishes packing the rest of his stuff inside the suitcase. 

Hansol is sitting on the couch flipping through channels. He doesn’t turn around when Seungkwan walks into the living room.

“I’m really really sorry that I can’t go with you to Greenhouse Records.” Seungkwan said. He feels bad considering this is a big day for Hansol and he’s not going to be there.

“You don’t have to apologize, I understand. Besides, Mingyu said he would go with me.” Hansol reassured him. He got up from the couch snaking his arms around Seungkwan’s waist.

“Ok well the uber is going to be here any minute.” Seungkwan kissed him. “I will try my best to make it back by Sunday but that depends on the train’s schedule.”

When the uber arrives,Seungkwan gives Hansol one more kiss before descending down the stairs. Hansol watched the car drive away, he kept watching until it turned a corner and disappeared. The causal facade that Hansol displayed in front of Seungkwan is now replaced with nervousness as he runs his hand through his hair biting on lips. He can’t believe today is the day that determines whether he’s going to sign to Greenhouse Records or not. Needless to say he’s so anxious that he doesn’t realize he’s been scratching his hands.

He needed a drink badly.

Hansol opens up the cabinet grabbing a bottle of wine. He’s about to pop it open but then he changes his mind. As much he wanted to, he also wanted to be sober. He stares at the bottle until there’s a knock at the door.

“Hey you.” Mingyu said cherrily. “Today is the big day.”

“Yeah and I’m literally about to throw up.” A pale faced Hansol confessed. “I-I don’t think I can do this.”

Mingyu grabbed hold of the rapper’s shoulders to get him to calm down. “Listen to me Hansol, if anyone deserves to be signed it’s you because you wanna know why. Not only are you an extremely gifted rapper but you also an amazing songwriter. Two qualities that not many artists have.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“Of course I do. I have faith in you.” Mingyu gives Hansol’s shoulders a quick squeeze. “So do you wanna stop somewhere and get breakfast?”

Hansol shook his head. “I’m not really hungry. I just want to get this over with already.”

Inside Mingyu’s car, Hansol stares out the window feeling like a thousand bricks are6nh piling up inside his stomach. His hands are shaking which Mingyu noticed as he reached over to put his hand over Hansol’s. 

“Relax, you got this.” Mingyu said softly.

Hansol doesn’t reply as he simply squeezes Mingyu’s hand back. Relax, he keeps telling himself that. When the car pulled in front of the building, Hansol let out a sigh.

It’s time for him to prove himself and that’s what he’s going to do.

<>

_10:00 am_

Seungkwan thought the train ride to Busan would have taken longer but to his surprise, he made it here by 10. He makes his way up the stairs of the grand hotel. Just when he’s about to approach the receptionist, he hears a familiar voice behind him.

“Seungkwan.” A beaming Wonwoo is walking towards him wearing a casual black jacket and white slacks. Seungkwan still finds it weird seeing his boss not wearing his usual business suits. He looks good in that outfit though, Seungkwan thinks.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be here until noon time.” Wonwoo said. “Also you don’t have to check in, I already took care of that. Our rooms are right by each other.”

“Okay.” 

“I guess I should tell you what exactly these three days are going to consist of.” Wonwoo continued. “But let’s not do that in the middle of a busy lobby. How about in my room.”

Seungkwan nodded. “Yeah, sure.” With suitcases in hand, he followed the older man into the elevator.

<>

_10:30 am_

Dongsuk is sitting at his desk hands on his chin bopping his head to the music. Meanwhile across from him is a nervous Hansol who is fidgeting with his fingers on his lap. He honestly can’t tell if Dongsuk is liking what he’s hearing or not seeing that the CEO’s face is neutral. Dongsuk pressed stop on his computer. Now there’s a minute of silence as Hansol is trying his best to stop his shaking leg. Suppose Dongsuk didn’t like his mixtape? Suppose he’s wasted his time coming here thinking he was going to get signed to a multi million dollar record company? The anticipated silence is killing him but then Dongsuk finally speaks.

“That...is probably the best mixtape I have listened to. The amount of aspiring rappers that have walked through my doors over the years yet none of them could articulate what I just heard. Young man you have an extraordinary talent, your flows and lyrics are something I never heard before not even from experienced rappers. Listen I have an up and coming female artist here who is in dire need of a songwriter. Perhaps you could help her.”

Hansol is so speechless. Dongsuk is asking him to be a songwriter for a musician already. Does that mean he’s signed.

Dongsuk seemed to answer his question without him even asking. “Just give me the weekend to think about it but I’m positively certain you should expect an answer from me by Monday morning. You can expect good news”

“I-sir thank you so much.” Hansol stammered, he’s having a hard time forming a coherent sentence because he can’t believe what he is hearing. 

Dongsuk got up from his seat standing right in front of Hansol. “You got a bright future ahead of you, kid. Just keep your head on the right track.”

Hansol nodded eagerly. “I will.” he got up heading towards the door but with his hand on the doorknob he turned back. “Hey, Dongsuk.”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for believing in me.”

Dongsuk smiled at him. “Of course.”

<>

Mingyu sees Hansol leaving the CEO’s office. He can’t tell by Hansol’s face if the meeting went well or horrible. Either way he’s going to be there for his friend whatever the result is.

“So how did it go?”

Hansol throws himself into Mingyu’s arms latching on like his life depended on it. “He says he loved my mixtape Gyu he actually loved it. He says he needs the weekend to think but he’s certain that I’m going to get signed. Can you believe it I’m gonna be an artist under Greenhouse Records. He even wants me to be a songwriter for another artist.” he can feel his heart beating but not from nervousness instead excitement.

“What the fuck that’s amazing.” Mingyu exclaimed, hugging Hansol that he particularly swept him off his feet. “I’m so happy for you. I knew you could do it.”

“I think this calls for a celebration.”

Mingyu’s smile fades a little bit. “Uh about that. I have my Gucci photoshoot at 12 so unfortunately I can’t celebrate with you.” his face brightened at a sudden thought that came to his mind. “Hey do you wanna go with me?”

Hansol grinned. “Sure.” Mingyu did come with him as support so shouldn’t he at least return the favor. “Hold up I’m going to call Kwannie and tell him the news. He’s not going to believe it.” 

He dialed Seungkwan’s number only to be redirected to voicemail. Hansol frowned, he finds it a little odd that Seungkwan isn’t answering his phone unless he’s busy. That's what Hansol assumed as he put his phone back in his pocket.

“Oh well, maybe I will try calling him again later.” Hansol said. “Shall we get going.”

With that both men, arms around each other’s shoulder, walked out of the building. 

Hansol can’t help but think about how everything is gonna be alright.

<>

_11:00 am_

Seungkwan will learn from Wonwoo that day one is mostly a gathering of all the powerheads as a way for anyone to get to know each other. Seungkwan thought it seemed more like a reunion since a majority of the people here already knew each other except him. He watched from the bar as a couple of Wonwoo’s colleagues gathered around his boss either hugging him or clapping him on the back. Wonwoo exchanged a few words with them then he turned around heading towards Seungkwan.

“Wow, you sure have a lot of friends” Seungkwan commented.

“Nah I wouldn’t call them friends precisely. Just people I know.”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Literally the same meaning. So what are we doing for the rest of the day?”

Wonwoo rubbed his hands together. “Well there’s this nice restaurant not far from here we could go after that we can start working on the presentation for tomorrow. We can work in my room if that’s okay with you.”

Seungkwan nodded. “Yeah we can totally do it in your room.” he facepalmed himself. “Shit that sounds hella inappropriate, sorry.”

Wonwoo chuckled. “No need to apologize. C’mon let’s go.”

<>

_12:00 pm_

Hansol tries calling Seungkwan again yet his call again goes straight to voicemail. He knows it shouldn’t be bothering him but it does a little. Yeah he could just text Seungkwan the good news but he preferred to tell him over the phone instead. The fact he can’t do that makes him a little sad. He sighed as he put his phone back in his jacket pocket. He stared around at the busy staff members and stylists. He never really cared or showed any interest in the modeling industry so sitting here watching everything is a new experience to him. 

Mingyu is sitting in a chair with a makeup artist standing over him. He’s wearing a silk black shirt and the few top buttons are unbuttoned revealing his tanned chest. From the mirror he can see Hansol glaring at him, he winked at him which in return earned him an eye roll from Hansol. He stands up from the chair being led to a set that resembles an elegant living room with golden curtains and a purple couch. Mingyu was told by the photoshoot director to lie down in different positions on the couch. Hansol wondered if Mingyu was born to be photogenic. He made it look so easy. 

The next photoshoot had Mingyu standing in front of an orange glowy screen with an extremely attractive tanned man on his right side and a pretty black haired girl in the center sitting on a stool. Hansol didn’t even think it could be possible for three people to be so damn good looking but it is. After a couple of more photos, it was done and Mingyu made his way over to Hansol wrapping his arms over him.

“So what did you think.” he murmured in Hansol’s ear.

“That you’re a walking visual.” Hansol said jokingly. 

“And what else.”

“What do you mean what else?” 

“You didn’t think I was sexy.” Mingyu’s deep voice in his ear is really making him feel some type of way. 

“Um I mean yeah.” 

“But I want you to say it. I wanna hear it coming from your mouth.” 

“Fine you we-“ Hansol’s interrupted by the tanned model, who he learned by Mingyu, whose name is Kim Jongin. His fingers are interlocked with the pretty blacked haired model whose name is Kim Jennie. 

“Guys we have amazing news to share.” Jongin beamed. “Jennie is pregnant.”

“Omg that’s amazing.” Mingyu exclaimed, unlinking himself from Hansol to run over and hug his friends. “You two are going to be the best parents.” 

“Congratulations.” Hansol added. He didn’t particularly know them but he was happy for them. 

“I guess today is filled with good news.” Mingyu grinned at Hansol, pinching his cheek. 

“Yeah um babe why don’t you show Hansol some exclusive shots while I talk to Mingyu for a minute.” Jongin gestured his head for Mingyu to follow him.

“Yeah what’s up?”

“Listen in no way am I trying to judge you but what’s the deal with you and Hansol ” 

Mingyu titled his head to the side. “Not sure what you mean.” 

“The way you look at him and you are very touchy with him.” 

Mingyu shrugged. “He’s a friend of mine. We just close.” 

Jongin didn’t seem convinced. “Uh huh, well you're _definitey_ close with him by the way isn’t he like dating your best friend Seungkwan.” 

Mingyu crosses his arms. “Not sure what you are trying to imply but like I say me and Hansol are just friends. Besides what I do in my personal life is none of your business. Don’t you have an unborn baby to be concerned about.” he turned to walk away. 

“You better than this, Mingyu.” Jongin called out. “ And you know it.” 

Mingyu doesn’t say anything as he continues to walk.

<>

_7:00 pm_

“Y’know I still can’t believe it. This seriously feels like some type of dream.” Hansol said.

Him and Mingyu are currently strolling through a park. The night sky filled with stars and a calm cool breeze. 

“If I get signed that means I would be making more money and me and kwannie can move to a better and bigger apartment.” Hansol continued. “I mean the current apartment we live in isn't bad but still.” he turned his side to realize Mingyu isn’t there. Instead the taller man stopped walking and is standing a few feet away. 

“What about us?” Mingyu said quietly. 

Hansol runs a hand through his hair. Shit. “Listen Gyu these past few weeks with you have been amazing and you know I care about you but I love Seungkwan and always will he’s my soulmate. So if you are asking about me and you.. well I don’t know.” 

Mingyu gets closer to him and for a wild moment Hansol thought he’s going to hit him instead Mingyu takes hold of his hands.

“If you wanna keep what we have a secret while your music career blooms then I’m totally ok with that.” 

Well that wasn’t the answer Hansol expected. “W-What.”

“When I say I like spending time with you, I really mean it.” Mingyu said softly, stroking Hansol’s hair. “Don’t you like it too?” 

“Of course...of course I do.” 

“Well that settles it then. It’s getting late, how about we head back to my place.” Mingyu said happily. 

He grabbed Hansol’s hand leading him out of the park. 

<>

_7:30 pm_

“So by decreasing this year’s earnings by 50% we can….shit sorry.” Seungkwan is looking through his notes. “I got my notes mixed up.” 

He’s standing in front of Wonwoo practicing for the presentation tomorrow. Even though this is a trial run, he is feeling nervous.

“Don’t sweat it.” Wonwoo reassured him. “You're doing fine.” 

“I don’t feel fine.” Seungkwan said gloomily, flopping down on Wonwoo’s bed. “I feel like someone shoved a thousand bricks down my stomach. I don’t wanna screw up in front of these investors.” 

“And you won’t.” Wonwoo stated, pouring two glasses of whiskey. “I would be there right by your side to help you.” he joined Seungkwan on the bed handing him the glass. “Isn’t that what friends are for. To be there for each other, right?” 

“Right.” Seungkwan repeated, staring into the contents of the glass before drowning it down. 

“Hey about we call it a night we've been working hard all day. Let’s watch a movie.” Wonwoo scooted back on the bed. “You can pick.” 

Seungkwan moved back on the bed, back against the headstand as he opened Netflix to find a movie. He decided on a romantic movie with a cute description. 

Only it wasn’t a romantic movie. It was a eroticfilm more specifically a gay erotic film. 

Crap, Seungkwan thought. He can feel heat on the back of his neck as he’s trying his hardest not to look at his boss. Two minutes into the film and there is already a sex scene.

Seungkwan cleared his throat. “Um if this is bothering you I can turn on another movie.”

“And why would it bother me?” Wonwoo asked curiously.

“Because two guys….are having sex and I thought it would make you uncomfortable.” Seungkwan mumbled. 

“Seungkwan, I have no problems with someone’s sexuality.” Wonwoo smiled at him. “I’m acceptable of all people.” 

“Okay.” Even though Wonwoo said he didn’t mind, Seungkwan still felt embarrassed. Once the movie was over with they decided to watch another one. This movie was about a woman missing her high school sweetheart who was fighting in a war. Seungkwan honestly thought the movie was extremely boring. He can feel himself getting tired. 

That’s when he realizes that he hasn’t checked his phone all day. He sees four missed calls from Hansol.

“I should call him.” Seungkwan said drowsily. He changes his mind. Whatever Hansol wanted to tell him, he would ask tomorrow. 

Seungkwan's eyes were dropping until he finally drifted to sleep. 

<>

_8:00 pm_

Hansol has only been inside Mingyu’s penthouse two times: the first time was four years ago during the actor’s movie debut party and the second was picking up Seungkwan after the whole movie premiere fiasco.

But never has he been inside Mingyu’s bedroom

He’s sitting up on the bed trying to feel comfortable. Only that’s the opposite of how he is feeling at the moment. The bedroom opens and Mingyu walks in with two glasses of champagne. He sits closely by Hansol handing him the glass. 

“Here’s to you and your soon to be successful career. “ Mingyu said, raising his glass. He puts the empty glass down on the nightstand. He leaned in and placed a kiss on Hansol’s lips. 

The kiss gets deeper as Hansol grips the back of Mingyu’s hair. Mingyu moved his lips down to his neck, placing kisses. 

“What’s wrong?” Mingyu asked, noticing how tense the other was. “If you worry about condoms, I got those.” 

“No it’s just that. …. Do you wanna do this?” 

“Of course I want to.” Mingyu trails a finger down Hansol’s neck while maintaining eye contact. “Don’t you.”

Hansol would be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about this scenario and now that it’s finally going to happen he’s not sure how to feel. He makes a decision. 

Slowly he pulled his shirt over his head and discarded it on the floor, not once taking his eyes off of Mingyu as he reached over to unbutton Mingyu’s shirt exposing the man’s chest. 

“Yeah I want to.” 

Hansol is kissing Mingyu as they leaned back on the bed to continue their make out session. Mingyu glides his tongue on Hansol’s collarbone causing him to groan. 

Mingyu laids stomach down on the bed with his legs spread. However, he looks back at a hesitated Hansol.

“What?” 

“Um it’s just Seungkwan usually does all the work while I um…. just laid there.” Hansol muttered, feeling embarrassed. It’s been like that even with his previous relationships. No one asked him what he preferred so he just let them take control.

“Oh...I see well I can uh help you.” 

“Alright.” Hansol gets on top getting ready. 

Mingyu’s eyes widened. “Whoa what are you doing? Aren’t you gonna prep me first?” 

“Huh? Oh shit sorry.” Hansol said sheepishly.

Mingyu slightly shook his head as he reached down and grabbed the bottle of lube from the button drawer giving it to Hansol. “Please tell me you know how to use this.” 

Hansol snatched the lube from his hand. “Duh what do you think.” 

He squeezed a amount on his fingertip inserting it inside Mingyu causing him to shudder. He pulled his finger and now put two fingers inside. He repeats what he’s doing resulting in a moan from Mingyu. 

“H-hansol as much as I enjoy this, do you think you can like hurry up.” 

“Right, right.” Hansol pulled his fingers out now shifted himself on top. Just as he enters Mingyu lets out a small “ow” 

“Am I hurting you?” Hansol is about to pull out but Mingyu grabbed his shoulder.

“No no it’s just that… be gentle okay.” 

“Okay.” Hansol slowed down the pace. It worked because Mingyu is moaning clutching the bedsheets

“That’s….that’s better. You’re doing good.” he breathed. 

Hansol leaned down to kiss his neck. “Do you really mean that?” he grabbed Mingyu's throbbing cock lightly stroking it. 

“What do I mean by wh- fuck.” Mingyu let out a loud moan, he can himself about to cum. 

“Jeez are you always this loud during sex.” 

“Only with people who know how to hit my sensitive spot.” 

“Am I doing that?” 

“Mhm perhaps.” Mingyu said through heavy breathing.

Hansol quirked. “Just Perhaps? Well well let’s see about that.”

He picked up his pace pushing in deeper. He can feel himself about to come as he suddenly rams in causing Mingyu to throw his head back. 

At this point Mingyu is overstimulated as he ejects all over the bedsheets. He’s about to cry as his body goes limp. Hansol smirked. 

“Looks like I found that spot.” he gives one last pound that had Mingyu letting out the loudest moan Hansol had ever heard. 

Hansol finally gets off him collapsing on the bed. Both are men panting and sweating as they recover. Mingyu turned to Hansol, popped his elbow up on the bed. 

“That was amazing, no scratch that. That was incredible.” he breathed, laying his head on Hansol’s chest. 

Hansol pushed Mingyu sweaty hair off his forehead. “I could say the same about you,baby.” he kissed the top of his head. 

The room falls into a comfortable silence as they lay the in bed basking in each other’s presence. Mingyu knew him and Hansol would never be able to walk down the street holding hands or take cute pics together and post them online but he didn't care about stuff like that. Just having Hansol around is enough for him even if they got to be secretly about it.

All Mingyu wanted is to spend every glorious moment with his friend- his lover.


	34. Chapter 34

_8:00 am_

Hansol stretched his arms out as the morning sun beaming down on him from the bay window. He turned his head and realized Mingyu wasn't there. The smell of bacon swizzling filled his nose, he smiled grabbing his shirt and underwear from the floor making his way to the kitchen. 

Standing there is a shirtless Mingyu humming to himself busied stirring something in a pot. He looks up when a messy haired Hansol enters the room.

“Good morning to you, did you sleep well.” he walked over wrapping his arms around Hansol. 

Hansol playfully pushed him away. “How can you hug me? I haven’t even taken a shower yet.” 

“So. The dirtier you are, the better.” Mingyu is dragging him to a stool. “Maybe I prefer you that way.” 

Hansol wrinkled his nose. “Kind of a gross thing to say. Also you really went all the way out on breakfast.” he stared at the numerous dishes laid out on the kitchen counter. 

“Only the best for my lover.” Mingyu cooed, feeding Hansol a strawberry. 

The word lover had Hansol blushing. “Uh i should- I need to get home and take a shower.” he slipped off the stool. 

“You don’t have to go home, you can take a shower here.” Mingyu suggested seductively. 

“Alright but you better not sneak up on me or something” Hansol said in a playful tone, wiggling a finger at the tall man.

Mingyu puts a hand to his chest in mock . “Who me? I would never do such a thing. Unless you want me to.” he winked at Hansol.

Hansol shook his head in amusement as he walked out of the kitchen. When he’s gone, Mingyu put his hand under his chin thinking about last night. Having Hansol inside him, making him feel good. It was like Hansol is a drug that he finds himself becoming more hooked to. He loved the taste of Hansol in his mouth. He loved to look at Hansol admiring every detail about him. Things could be so much easier if Hansol was his and not someone’s else. The sad reality hitted him so hard.

Mingyu sighed as he put his fork down.

Hansol re-enters the kitchen, wet blonde hair flopped down on his head. He brushed the hair out of his eyes. 

“Listen as much as I want to stay for breakfast, I got some stuff I need to do today.” 

“Okay can I at least come over later on?” Mingyu asked. 

Hansol thinks for a minute he’s mostly doing this because Mingyu is anticipating his answer with hopeful eyes. 

“Yeah sure.” Hansol replied. Mingyu’s face brightened up like a happy puppy. 

“Can’t wait.” 

“I’m sure you can’t.” Hansol remarked amusely. He headed towards the front door. With a hand on the knob he looked back at Mingyu.

“Hey, Gyu.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Thanks for being there.” 

Mingyu smiled. “ No problem.” 

<>

_8:30 am_

Seungkwan wakes up the morning sun shining down on him. He pushes himself up but his hands aren’t being supported by bedsheets but a solid surface specifically a chest. He stares down at a sleeping Wonwoo.

Horror struck, Seungkwan silently gets off the bed that’s littered with the snacks from last night. He tiptoed towards the door once outside he leaned against the door. He must have been so tired last night that he forgot he didn’t go back to his room. Not only did he sleep in the same bed with Wonwoo, he fell asleep on boss’s chest.

Embarrassment rushes through Seungkwan. Perhaps it’s not as bad as he thinks. Maybe Wonwoo fell asleep first and didn’t notice. Seungkwan couldn’t recall which one of them fell asleep first. He decided to put those thoughts in the back of head as he gets ready for the big presentation today. 

He washed up and put on the purple colored suit that fitted his body. He fixes his hair and fixes it again because he doesn’t like the way it looked the first time. Once he’s satisfied with his appearance, he fetches his phone to dial Hansol’s number when he gets a new message notification. 

**Unknown: Good Luck**

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. Whoever this was hasn’t contacted him in days yet here they were bothering him again. He discarded the message because he’s not going let an anonymous being ruin this important day for him. Suddenly there’s a knock at his door. 

“Hey today is the day.” Wonwoo said donned in gray colored that matched his blonde -gray hair. He held up a bag “I bought bagels.” 

“Oh, thanks.” Seungkwan moved out of the way so that Wonwoo can come in. 

“I was just informed that three investors from the biggest corporation in South Korea are going to be present at the conference.” Wonwoo stated, putting the bag down on the table. “I just hope our presentation can convince them that investing in the company would be a good idea.” 

“I’m sorry for sleeping with you.” Seungkwan blurted out. “I mean I’m sorry for falling asleep in your bed.” 

“Oh it’s okay.” Wonwoo said mildly. “You were tired, it’s understandable.” 

If it didn’t bother Wonwoo, Seungkwan figures it shouldn’t matter to him too. It’s all in the past now. 

_ 9:30 am  _

Seungkwan is fidgeting with his hands while inhaling and exhaling. The elevator ride down to the conference room seemed to take forever. 

“You okay?” Wonwoo asked, getting worried about the younger man’s behavior.

“I-I don’t wanna screw up.” Seungkwan mused. “If I do it could cause the company to lose out on a huge profit because of me.” 

“You’re not going screw up.” Wonwoo said “because you wanna know why. Because I believe in you and always will. I wouldn’t have asked you to come with me if I knew you were going to mess up. You gotta start believing in yourself, Seungkwan. You’re smart and-“ he cleared his throat a slight blush appearing on his face. “Look here we are.” 

The conference room was big with a long table in the middle where two men and a woman were sitting. Wonwoo went over to greet them while Seungkwan set up the projector.

“You got this Seungkwan you got this.” he muttered to himself. 

Once everything is set up, Wonwoo starts the presentation by going over the company’s history. After 30 minutes it was Seungkwan’s cue to talk about the earnings and percentages. The more he kept talking, he could feel his nervousness starting to fade away. He knew his words were captivating the investors as they seemed to be intently paying attention to everything he’s saying. 

“And by the end, we hope to increase sales by at least 50%,” Seungkwan concluded. 

“50% seems a bit too much.” The female investor, an older woman whose hair was in a tight bun, stated. “Does Globex have the ability to do that?” 

“Yes we do, we have marginalized our earnings every year at what we consider is a decent size. Our partnership program has expanded from the United States all the way to Japan still at the same rate.” 

“Well I think both of my investors would agree with me when I say Foster & Aber is looking to invest 80% into Globex.” The woman said, turning to her investors who nodded in agreement. “If that’s okay with the both of you.” 

“Of course.” Wonwoo replied on Seungkwan’s behalf because Seungkwan is honestly in shock. He expected the investors to at least put in 20% not 80%.

“That’s good to know although I have one more question for Mr.Boo.” 

“Yes?” 

The woman leaned in on the table. “May I ask how old are you?”

“27.” Seungkwan replied. 

“27 and already a senior account executive.” The investor said, sounding impressed. “Quite astonishing. I think that’s it for now. You should expect a call from us by Monday.” 

Seungkwan feels like he’s on cloud nine as he and Wonwoo leave the conference room. They waited until they were standing outside of the hotel before Seungkwan jumped up and down in joy. 

“I can’t believe it. We closed the deal. I can’t believe it.” 

He’s completely caught off guard by Wonwoo grabbing and hugging him.

“No you did it.” he beamed at Seungkwan. “I was just the anchor but carry that ship all by yourself.” 

Both men realize they are standing on the busy sidewalk arms around each other. Wonwoo,face reddening, dropped his arms back to his side. 

“This calls for a celebration. There’s a Japanese restaurant around here that I used to go to all the time back in college. What do you say.. my treat.” 

Seungkwan nodded. “Okay.” He was going to call Hansol and tell him the news but he decided that could wait as he and Wonwoo embarked on the journey to their destination. 

A wide smile on his face as he thinks about how everything's gonna be alright.

<>

_9:00 pm_

“Is there ever a time when you are not working on music.” 

Hansol shrugged. “Music is my life. Music literally saved my life.” 

“Okay but can you take a break for a minute.” 

“But I’m in the middle of composing a song.” Hansol protested. 

Mingyu moved closer to him on the couch. “Pleaseee I know what we can do perhaps.” he slowly trailed his hand down to Hansol’s crotch area. “I can help you practice more.” 

“Hmm well I can’t turn that down, can I.” Hansol admitted as he kissed Mingyu. With lips still interlocking , Mingyu slightly pushed him back on the couch. That’s when Hansol pulled away from the kiss sitting up.

“What?” Mingyu asked.

“It’s just that I don’t wanna do this on the couch. Can’t we move to the bedroom.” 

“Couldn’t agree more.” Mingyu linking his arm under Hansol’s. “You say Seungkwan isn’t coming back until Sunday afternoon,right?” 

“Yeah. Why do you ask?” 

Mingyu pulled in him for another kiss. “Just making sure.” 

When they entered the bedroom, Hansol didn’t waste a moment as he fanatically tugged Mingyu’s shirt off and his own. They collapsed on the bed. 

<>

_9:00 pm_

After lunch followed by dinner at a fancy restaurant, Seungkwan and Wonwoo returned to the hotel. 

Wonwoo unlocked his room. “Today seems surreal, don’t you think?” 

“Yes, definitely.” Seungkwan flopped on the couch.

Wonwoo poured two glasses of champagne. “Seungkwan I know I say this a lot and I’m probably gonna say this a lot more to be honest but I’m really glad to have you as a employee.” 

“I’m glad to have you as a boss.” 

Wonwoo joined him on the couch sitting a little bit close to him. “Your father would’ve been so proud of you.” he said softly. “And so am I.”

He leaned in to press his lips against Seungkwan’s. Seungkwan immediately pushed him away quickly getting off the couch in a state of shock.

“You can’t- you shouldn’t- I have a boyfriend.” 

“Seungkwan I know I know but you I- I’ve been trying my hardest to keep my feelings for you in but I can’t do it anymore. You make it so damn hard, don’t you understand.” Wonwoo said desperately. 

Seungkwan doesn’t say anything as he backs away leaving the room. 

Upon returning to his room, Seungkwan gets his suitcase furiously throwing clothes in. He felt so stupid, so used. Hansol was right, Wonwoo didn’t value him as an employee. The promotion, the compliments, and the praises were all apparently some ruse for Wonwoo who wanted to get into his pants. All those years of hard work, of him trying to prove himself meant nothing now. 

All he wanted to do now was get out of here. He dialed Hansol’s number only to be redirected to his voicemail. 

“Hey Sollie it’s me. I’m coming home tonight. I will explain everything but I’m catching the next train back to Seoul.” 

With suitcase in hand, Seungwan makes his way to the elevator. Inside he leaned against the wall feeling so hurt. 

Right now he needed Hansol more than ever.

<>

_10:00 pm_

Seungkwan makes it back to Seoul by 10. He inserted the key into the lock. Sitting the suitcase by the door he couldn’t help but notice that Hansol’s laptop is on the coffee table. He’s known his boyfriend long enough to know he barely leaves his laptop laying around. Maybe he was too tired so he forgot, Seungkwan thought but as he walked closer to the table he noticed the empty two glasses. He frowned, yes he’s very aware that Hansol drinks but why would he need two glasses? It didn’t make sense.

Nevertheless, Seungkwan took the glasses and dropped them in the sink. However he hears a noise ( or maybe noises). He slowly walked down the hallway, the noise getting louder and louder. It was coming from the bedroom. 

Seungkwan opened the door just a millimeter. What he saw almost made him sick. 

He silently shut the door quickly backing away. He covered his mouth as he held onto the wall for support. This had to be some kind of prank. This couldn’t be real. Maybe he’s imagining things. 

Seungkwan’s breathing gets heavy. No no no this isn’t real. Please let this just be a dream. 

He grabbed the handle of his suitcase walking out of the front door. Seungkwan honestly doesn’t know how he was able to drive with eyes full of tears. He keeps driving and driving not knowing where he’s going. 

The image forever implanted in Seungkwan’s mind. 

Of his boyfriend Hansol in bed with his best friend Mingyu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I was going write Seungkwan bursting in on them but then I thought that would have been idk a little dramatic.
> 
> Anyway grab your tissues because it's about to get sad mostly for Seungkwan


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up: Some chapters would start with a flashback.
> 
> The flashbacks focuses more on Seungkwan's childhood, his teenagers years (what he did all those years ago) and etc...
> 
> A remainder that everyone is aged up.

*** **March 13, 2002** ***

_The boy is sitting cross legged in the hard chair with a frown on his face. Perched on his lap is his math homework. Pencil in his mouth as he struggles to understand the difficult math word problem he’s been struck on for the last 10 minutes. He was expecting things to get harder considering the fact he did so well on the math portion of his tests that he was immediately placed in an advanced math class making him the youngest to do so._

_“You know if you keep your face looking like that , you're going to end up having wrinkles before you are 14.” His father said jokingly._

_“It’s this word problem I can’t figure it out.” Seungkwan whined, throwing his pencil down on the worksheet in defeat._

_“Seungkwan, come here.” His father said calmly, patting the hospital bed._

_Seungkwan climbed on the bed. He always looked up to his father thinking he was a superhero. He loved to brag to his friends about how his father saved people’s lives. But then things changed a couple of months ago. At that time Seungkwan didn’t think much of how his father started to lose weight or started working from home more often. He didn’t think much when his father had to go to the hospital every day. Then one day he overheard his mother on the phone mentioning that his father had something that Seungkwan didn’t know. He didn’t think much when his father’s black hair was slowly falling out until it was all gone._

_He didn’t think about any of those things because despite everything his father remained strong. Even with the tubes and IVs poking out of his body, his father never lost his bright personality and that’s what Seungkwan admired the most about him. He couldn’t wait until the end of the school day to hurry to the hospital to spend time with his father even though sometimes he couldn’t visit because according to his mother his father needed rest after chemotherapy -yet another word Seungkwan wasn’t familiar with._

_“How many times have I told you … always change your I can’ts into I cans.” His father said, putting an arm around his son’s shoulder._

_“I know but it’s hard.” Seungkwan sighed, laying his head on the elder man’s shoulder. “I just wanna solve the problem already.”_

_“And you would. Always remember there’s always an answer to a problem you just gotta keep figuring it out. I believe in you.”_

_That’s another thing Seungkwan loved about his father, the man had faith in him even when Seungkwan gave up. He offered words of encouragement._

_“When are you coming home?” Seungkwan asked, looking up at his father with hopeful eyes._

_“Soon.” he replied softly, ruffling his son’s hair. “Hopefully soon.”_

_Seungkwan believes his father. His father wouldn’t lie to him. Not his light, his source of comfort._

_Then one day his light didn’t come back. His light left him for forever. ___

__***_ _

__

__Lee Seokmin is awakened by the frantic knocking on his front door. He looked at the time on the clock with a frown on his face wondering who could be possibly on his doorstep at 12 am. He opened the door and his senses suddenly alerted at the sight of Seungkwan’s tearful face._ _

__

__“Seungkwan what..what are you doing here?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan immediately throws himself onto his friend holding on tight as he sobs. Seokmin doesn’t know what happened but he’s worried that Seungkwan’s crying which is getting loud by the minute is going to wake up his son. He gently leads the crying man into the kitchen._ _

__

__“Kwannie.” Seokmin said quietly, handing him a glass of water because he’s afraid Seungkwan’s constant crying is going to cause him to dehydrate. “Drink this, okay.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan took the glass. Seokmin waited until he was finished and then asked._ _

__

__“Now what happened? Did something happen ? With Hansol?”_ _

__

__Seokmin isn’t sure what he said that triggered Seungkwan but now he burst into tears again._ _

__

__“Okay okay.” Seokmin said quickly. “How about….how about you get some sleep. It is late and then..” he trailed off not sure where he was heading with his words. Instead he helped Seungkwan get up from the chair leading him upstairs into the guest bedroom. Once inside, the younger man crawled into the bed not saying anything._ _

__

__Seokmin stood in the doorway watching him. He didn't know what happened but whatever it was must have been big because he’s never seen Seungkwan like this._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Seungkwan wakes up and checks the time on the digital clock that reads 6:15 am. He looked at the bedsheets and the light blue curtains that were the same color of the walls.He remembers that he’s not waking up in his bed and why. Miserably, he holds the sheets closer to him. There’s a knock on the door._ _

__

__“Kwannie.” Seokmin said gently, cautiously approaching the bed as if he’s walking towards a sensitive animal. He sits down on the edge of the bed._ _

__

__“Do you think you well enough to tell me what exactly happened?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan sits up on the bed taking a deep breath. He told Seokmin even when it felt like he’s going to cry again. After he finishes, Seokmin puts a hand to his mouth in shock._ _

__

__“Are...are you sure I mean oh my god.” Seokmin pulled his friend into a tight hug and never wanted to let him go. He rubbed soothed circles on Seungkwan’s back. “Oh Kwannie.”_ _

__

__“And the w-worst part is that t-they d-don’t know.” Seungkwan whispered. He leaned his head on Seokmin’s shoulder. “I don’t even know what I’m going to do.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan remembers seeing situations like these on TV all the time but he never thought he would be one of them. He can’t help but think what Hansol is doing. Is him and Mingyu in bed. Cuddling? Making love again? Perhaps they are doing both._ _

__

__Seungkwan let out a sob until he’s crying again. Seokmin gently wipes a tear away feeling so sorry for his friend. No one should have to deal with something like this. Especially when it involves people who you thought you could trust, Seokmin feels anger boiling inside him._ _

__

__“I don't want to leave but I have to get breakfast ready. I can bring it up to you if you don’t feel like coming downstairs.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan gives him a small smile. “I would appreciate that, thank you.”_ _

__

__Once Seokmin is gone, Seungkwan laids back down on the bed, turning to lay on his side as he grabs his phone from the nightstand. He hasn’t checked since last night and it wasn’t like he was expecting anything. However, he finds himself dialing the number. He doesn't know why he’s doing this. To make himself more miserable._ _

__

__“Hey baby.” Hansol answered, voice sounded bright. “What’s up? How is the conference trip going?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan squeezed his eyes shut inhaling deep breaths. It wouldn’t do him anything good if he completely broke down over the phone. “I wasn’t feeling well so I left earlier. I’m staying at Seokmin because I haven’t seen him in such a long time.”_ _

__

__“Oh okay. You're coming back tomorrow, right?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan clutched the bedsheets. “Yes I’m coming back tomorrow.” he said calmly._ _

__

__“Cool uh I’m busy at...the moment.” Hansol abruptly hangs up._ _

__

__Seungkwan doesn’t know which is worse. Hansol did not bother to ask if he was okay when he mentioned he wasn’t feeling well or the fact he could have swore he heard laughing in the background._ _

__

__He put the phone back on the nightstand as he wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes but at this point why bother as he put the pillow over his face letting out a muffled scream._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Monday is finally here and Seungkwan has been dreading this day as he laid in the bed looking at the ceiling. What’s going to happen today could go two ways: he calmly confronts Hansol or he loses it. Either way today is the day and he’s going to deal with it whatever the outcome is . He wants to keep his cool of course . Ever since yesterday, he’s been going through what exactly he’s going to say in his head. I’m going to keep my cool, he keeps telling himself. He can do this without overreacting, right?_ _

__

__He makes his way down the stairs to the kitchen. Sitting at the kitchen is Taesoo, Seokmin’s son, who immediately jumped out of his seat wrapping his little arms around Seungkwan’s midriff almost knocking the wind out of him._ _

__

__“Uncle Kwannie.” The boy squealed. “Daddy said you were feeling sad so I drew this for you.” He holds up a picture of a huge sun._ _

__

__“Awww Tae this is beautiful thank you.” Seungkwan said, taking the picture hugging the boy back. Kids have it so easy, Seungkwan thought, they still have time to enjoy their childhoods before having to deal with the cold and cruelty that is life._ _

__

__Taesoo tilted his head to the side. “But you don’t look happy.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan forgets how smart Taesoo can be for a five year old. “No I am happy.” he plastered on a smile. He wasn’t about to hurt the feelings of a child._ _

__

__Seokmin walked into the kitchen. “Hey kiddio.” he ruffled his son’s head. “Why don’t you go and get ready so I can take you to school.”_ _

__

__“Okay.” Taesoo little legs paddled down the hallway._ _

__

__Seokmin turned to Seungkwan. “Are you sure...you don’t want me there with you.” he asked, voice laced with concern._ _

__

__Seungkwan sighed. “I can handle it. I mean I never thought I would ever be in this type of situation in the first place yet here I am.”_ _

__

__“Me neither I still can’t believe it. Well I’m about to drop off Taesoo at school and head to work.” he patted Seungkwan on the shoulder. “Call me afterwards, okay?”_ _

__

__“Okay.” Seungkwan grabbed his car keys opening the front door. The morning chilly air hitting him in the face. He sits in his car for a couple of seconds. He mentally counts from 1 to 40- an exercise his therapist taught him. He turned the ignition on backing out of the driveway._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Seungkwan opens and closes the front door. Any other day, he would immediately run into Hansol’s arms and give him a kiss but no not today. He looked at the living room that used to hold so many happy memories with his boyfriend now it feels cold and empty._ _

__

__“Kwannie is that you.” Hansol’s cheerful voice coming from the kitchen. “Finally you are home good because I have news for you. Dongsuk just called me and he wants me to come in tomorrow to fill out paperwork and meet the other producers there. Fuck can you believe it. You know I think we should go out tonight to celebrate...you,me and Mingyu oh and we can invite Seokmin too. How about it, just the four of us.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan finds himself wanting to cover his ears and wants to block out everything Hansol is saying. Moist is starting to form on the corner of eyes. God he wanted to be strong, that he can do this but it felt he’s slowly losing that battle._ _

__

__Hansol is now standing in front of him. “Hey babe what’s wrong.” He tried to cupped Seungkwan’s face in his hands but the latter took a few steps back._ _

__

__“What’s wrong? Are you really asking me that?” Seungkwan is visibly shaken. “Let me tell you what's wrong. On Saturday, I left the business trip early, took the next train back to Seoul and arrived home at 11. A-a when I arrived home..” he takes a deep breath. “Do you know what I saw and heard coming from our bedroom.”_ _

__

__It only took a second for the realization to draw on Hansol’s face. His eyes got big. “K-kwannie I-”_ _

__

__“How could you. In our home. In our bed.”_ _

__

__“I-”_ _

__

__“It’s not like you had sex with some random guy. You had sex with my friend, my bestest friend.” Seungkwan shouted. He didn’t care if the neighbors heard him or hell the whole damn neighborhood. He just doesn’t care._ _

__

__“So if I didn’t come home Saturday was you and Mingyu just going keep messing around behind my back. Hold up when I asked you why you were at Mingyu’s studio and you told me because you were working on your mixtaple you lied to me oh my god.” Seungkwan closed his eyes feeling so stupid for believing that._ _

__

__“Seungkwan please-_ _

__

__“Please what? Hansol. What can you possiby say to justify what the fuck you did to me. Five years. Five years I have stood by your side supporting you. Five years I have defended you when my mom kept telling me that I was wasting my time being with you. Did you ever love me. Did you ever care about me. I guess all there years were some fucking joke to you.”_ _

__

__“Seungkwan please I can explain.” Hansol pleaded and tried to grab Seungwan’s wrist but he roughly shoved Hansol away._ _

__

__“Don’t touch me.” Seungkwan shrieked. “There’s nothing for you to explain. You cheated. You fucking cheated on me. I loved you Hansol I loved you so much. How could you do this to me.” He opened the front door, he turned to look back at the man who he adored so much. The man who made him happy. Now it feels like he is looking at the man who hurted him in the most awful way._ _

__

__“I’m staying with Seokmin for the time being.” Seungkwan said coldly. “Don’t bother to contact me.”_ _

__

__He slammed the door shut but he didn’t go to the elevator instead he slid down on the floor leaning against the closed door._ _

__

__

__He just sat there on the floor with his head against the door letting the tears fall._ _


	36. Chapter 36

*** **September 15, 2002** ***

_The sky is gray with tiny raindrops splashing on the window.Seungkwan is sitting on his bed, legs swinging back and forth. Seungkwan is tugging with the collar of his white dress shirt. He doesn’t understand why he has to wear black and white anyways. It's not like his father is going to care or notice but according to his mother it’s necessary for where they are going._

_There’s a knock at his door. His mother, face covered with a black veil, poked her head in._

_“Seungkwan sweetie the car is here. We have to go.”_

_“But I don’t want to.” Seungkwan said in a small strained voice. “I don’t want to go. I-I can’t see him like that.”_

_His mother joined him on the bed. “This is hard for me as much as it is for you but your father would still want us there.”_

_Seungkwan stared down at his new shiny black dress shoes which he also hated._

_He looked up at his Mom. “Okay.” he mumbled._

_His mother reached over and wiped a tear away from her son’s face. “You’re being so brave Seungkwan.Your father would’ve been so proud of you.”_

_Seungkwan doesn’t say anything as he grabs hold of his mother’s hand and they both walk hand in hand out of his room. ___

__

__***_ _

__

__Seungkwan watched as Seokmin helped Taesoo with his homework. They reminded him so much of the type of relationship he had with his own father. He remembers the day of father’s funeral. The sympathy looks he kept getting from strangers, so many people that either his father knew personally or worked with. Seungkwan remembered the casket where his father looked so peacefully as if he was sleeping._ _

__

__Seungkwan wondered if his father were still alive and what advice he would give him. Unlike his mother who is always quick to judge, his father was the complete opposite. Anytime Seungkwan would talk about his day at school whether it was good or bad his father just sat there in the hospital bed listening to his son with no judgement in his eyes. Seungkwan missed the days before his father got sick, the days when he used to take Seungkwan to museums or the days they watched quiz shows._ _

__

__Seungkwan wished his father never got leukemia. Maybe if his father were still here, his life wouldn’t have ended up like this._ _

__

__Seokmin looked up and noticed Seungkwan’s presence in the kitchen doorway. “Hey me and Uncle Kwannie need to have a grown ups talk. Why don’t you finish this problem upstairs and I’ll come up to see if it’s correct,okay.”_ _

__

__“Okay.” Taesoo jumped up from his chair. On his way out Seungkwan ruffled the boy’s hair._ _

__

__“So.” Seokmin began. “How did things go?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan sighed. “Just as bad as I thought it would be. I lost my cool and cried again of course.” he sat down in the chair and buried his head in his hands._ _

__

__“At least you made him aware that he’s a disgusting cheater.” Seokmin pointed out._ _

__

__Seungkwan lifted his head up. “That’s true, it just feels like I’m being sucked into a vacuum .” He feels so emotionally drained at least he has a friend to depend on. “Thank you again for letting me stay here. I honestly didn’t know where else to go.”_ _

__

__Seokmin waved a hand. “No problem you’re a friend of mine you always welcome here. Hey do you wanna help me with dinner. Gyuri has been getting fussy with me lately about how I’m letting Taesoo eat too much fast food.” he rolled his eyes._ _

__

__For the rest of the evening, both men are catching up on conversations about their college days. By the time dinner is ready, the three of them are sitting at the table where Taesoo is in the middle of telling a silly joke that had Seungkwan laughing. It feels good to laugh. To feel happy even if it’s just temporary._ _

__

__While Seokmin is upstairs with Taesoo, Seungkwan is cleaning up the table by taking the dirty dishes to the sink. He accidentally dropped a plate._ _

__

__“Shit.” Seungkwan muttered, bending down to pick up the shattered glass. He let out a small yelp of pain as a piece of glass got struck in his thumb. He pulled it out staring at the blood dripping down on his thumb. For some reason he couldn’t look away as if he’s in a trance._ _

__

__“Jesus what happened.?” Seokmin re entered the kitchen looking at the mess on the floor. “Oh no you bleeding let me get the first aid kit.”_ _

__

__While Seokmin is busy looking in the drawers, he doesn’t notice Seungkwan picking up another piece of glass and pocketing it._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__“Wow you look amazing.” Seokmin exclaimed._ _

__

__“Well I don’t feel like it.” Seungkwan said dully._ _

__

__“Are you sure…you want to go back to work so soon?”_ _

__

__“I don’t want to but I can’t just stop doing my normal routines because my boyfriend fucking cheated on me.” Seungkwan snapped. He let out a sigh. “Sorry I didn’t mean to snap at you, it's just with everything that’s going on…” he trailed off flopping down on the chair putting his head in his hands. Every emotion he’s feeling is coming through him like a fast train that won’t stop._ _

__

__“I understand.” Seokmin said. “If I were in your situation, I’ll probably react the same way.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan looked up at him. Another reason he dreads going to work today is because it would be the first time he’s seeing Wonwoo since what happened last Saturday._ _

__

__“Do you want me to drive you to work or are you okay?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan slightly smiled at his friend. “No it’s okay I can drive you've done enough for me already by letting me stay here.”_ _

__

__Seokmin lightly patted his shoulder. “Okay I gotta take Taesoo to school. If you need anything don’t hesitate to call me.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan nodded as he stared at his coffee wishing he would drown in the contents._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Seungkwan makes it to the office by 8. He drives past the alleyway where he witnessed that murder so many months ago. Now that memory seemed more like a feeble dream in comparison to what he’s dealing with now._ _

__

__He walked towards the desk of Wonwoo’s personal assistant, Siwoo, a slender man with his black hair neatly parted on his head. Seungkwan always liked Siwoo._ _

__

__“Hey Siwoo.” Seungkwan greeted him._ _

__

__“Oh Seungkwan.” Siwoo said, pushing his glasses back up that kept sliding down from his nose. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here today.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan noticed the slight nervousness in the man’s voice that made him frown._ _

__

__“Is something wrong?” Seungkwan asked, he turned his head in the direction of Wonwoo’s door where he noticed the lights were still off. He thought it was kind of strange considering the older man is usually here by now. “Where’s Wonwoo?”_ _

__

__Siwoo readjusted his glasses. “Um about that-“_ _

__

__“He’s not here.” A curt cold voice said behind him._ _

__

__Seungkwan whipped his head around to a woman wearing a blue pantsuit with her gray hair in a tight bun and a stern look on her face._ _

__

__“Where is he?” Seungkwan asked politely._ _

__

__“I think we should talk in here.” She gestured a hand towards Wonwoo’s office door. Once inside, Seungkwan sat down in the hard chair opposite of the woman who sat down in the chair behind Wonwoo’s desk._ _

__

__“I haven’t properly introduced myself.” The woman said in the same curt voice. “I’m Kim Minjae and I’m the acting CEO more respectively Mr. Jeon’s replacement -“_ _

__

__“Replacement? Why?” Seungkwan blurted out._ _

__

__Minjae seemed annoyed at being interrupted. “Mr. Jeon has decided to take a personal leave for the time being. Also I advise you should take one too.”_ _

__

__“Me? Why?” Seungkwan asked, seeming confused._ _

__

__Minjae clasped her hands together on the desk. “Before taking his personal leave, Mr. Jeon told me that during the three day business trip in Busan, you made inappropriate advances towards him.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan clutched the arms of the chair tightly. He couldn’t believe what he’s hearing. “No I never...never did anything.” He doesn’t understand why Wonwoo lied._ _

__

__Minjae stared at him. “Nonetheless, we still have to investigate all accusations. You’ll of course get compensation during your time away.”_ _

__

__She finished with a finality in her voice that told Seungkwan that this conversation was over with. He slowly gets up from the chair making his way out. He doesn’t look at Siwoo who is probably wondering what happened. He walks past numerous co-workers who are looking at him ignoring the hushing whispers. Around the corner he bumped into Jun._ _

__

__“Hey Seungkwan isn’t your office the other way.” Jun asked._ _

__

__Seungkwan, who is still speechless, just merely shook his head. “I um...I was told ...I just gotta go okay.” he brushes past Jun on his way to the elevator._ _

__

__“Are you alright? Did something happen?” Jun asked, a little confused by Seungkwan’s behavior._ _

__

__“Yes everything’s fine.” Seungkwan replied calmly with his back turned to him. He wished the elevator would hurry up and open._ _

__

__“Eh are you sure?”_ _

__

__“Yes yes I’m sure.” Seungkwan said. Why can’t Jun just leave him alone. He’s saved by the bing noise and the elevator door opens up. He gets in not bothering to see if Jun is still standing there. When the door closed, he leaned against the wall with his head thrown back. He’s inhaling and exhaling but it isn’t doing much. He puts his hands on his knees practicing his count to 40 exercise. With every count Seungkwan can feel his chest tightening as he slowly breathes in and out. He’s thankful that no one gets into the elevator so he’s saved from anyone watching him have a near nervous breakdown._ _

__

__Seungkwan gets into his car and sits there for how long he doesn’t know nor care. He runs a hand furiously through his hair feeling the tears welled up in his eyes. He grips his hair rocking back and forth. He clenches his hands on the steering wheel as his crying gets louder but it doesn’t matter because he’s in his car by himself._ _

__

__Sitting in a car by himself realizing his life is slowly falling apart._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__Seungkwan calls Seokmin to tell him he’s going to be home early. He didn't go straight to the house instead he headed to the supermarket and decided to pick up some groceries for Seokmin and Taesoo. It’s funny that he’s casually strolling down aisles putting various items in the cart as if his life isn’t shit. While waiting at checkout, Seungkwan noticed a magazine with Mingyu’s face on it. He felt his blood beginning to boil at the sight of his ex friend. He clutches the magazine in his hand and all the noises around seemed distant. All he can see now is red._ _

__

__“Sir sir.” The young woman at the register is repeatedly calling him. Seungkwan snapped back into reality paying for the groceries._ _

__

__“Are you going to pay for the magazine too?” She asked._ _

__

__Seungkwan looked down at the magazine still in his hand. “No.” he muttered, throwing the magazine down on the counter as if it were a disgusting object._ _

__

__Inside his car, Seungkwan can’t get the image of Mingyu’s smiling face on the magazine cover out of his head._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__An exhaustive Mingyu headed back to his dressing room after a long day of script reading. All he wanted to do now was go home and take a long shower. When he opened the door he’s surprise to find Seungkwan sitting there on the couch._ _

__

__“Seungkwan what are you doing here?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan crossed his arms. “Don’t act stupid. You know why I’m here.” he said coldly._ _

__

__“Huh? What are you talking about?” Mingyu is completely oblivious as to why Seungkwan is talking to him like this._ _

__

__Seungkwan abruptly stands up. “How could you?”_ _

__

__“How could I ?”_ _

__

__“Sleep with my boyfriend.” Seungkwan shouted. “The only person that mattered to me. My source of happiness. My everything. How could you do this to me.”_ _

__

__“Kwannie I-“_ _

__

__“Don’t you fucking dare use that name. You were my best friend and he was my boyfriend and you both betrayed me.”_ _

__

__“No I-“_ _

__

__“Was that why you kept edging me to accept the fact Wonwoo had a crush on me.” Seungkwan continued, there’s no stopping him. He felt like a wild animal unleashed. “Did you think I was gonna to fall for him and leave Hansol so that you and Hansol could run off and live happily ever after. Was that what you were fucking expecting.”_ _

__

__“I fell for him.” Mingyu said in a pained voice. “I didn’t plan to but I did. He...he treated me like I matter unlike other people.”_ _

__

__“You fell for him?” Seungkwan said in disbelief. “Are you really gonna use that as an excuse to justify why you fucked my boyfriend. Seriously. After everything we went through in high school. After all those times I stood up for you against your father. Against Jaehyun. Against everyone who talked negative about you. Who supported your acting career. Your modeling career. Who was there every time your relationships failed. Me. I was always there for you Mingyu and you do this to me. Of all people.” He can feel his voice cracking._ _

__

__“Seungkwan I-I didn’t want to hurt you. I swear I-“_ _

__

__“But you did.” Seungkwan takes a step closer to him. Despite their height differences, Mingyu almost seemed small as he cowered. “I trusted you. I trusted you so much. I want you to pay attention carefully to what I’m about to say. You. Are.Dead.To.Me. Forever. I never want to speak to you again. I hate you.”_ _

__

__With that Seungkwan walked towards the door and slammed it behind.He didn’t care that people were looking at him as he rushed to get out of this place._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Seungkwan placed the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter, too visibly upset to put them away.He goes up to the guest bedroom. The sound of his heart is beating fast as he pacing back and forth the room that suddenly feels small. He fidgeted with his hands taking deep breaths. His phone started to vibrate. He picked it and not to his surprise it’s the unknown number._ _

__

__“Everything is going to be okay.” The robotic voice said._ _

__

__Seungkwan finally has enough. “Leave me the fuck alone.” he screamed into the phone. He chucked the phone at the wall watching it bounce to the wall. He grabbed a vase sitting on the dresser and threw it at the wall. He collapsed on the bed sobbing screaming at him at the top of his lungs._ _

__

__He hated everything. He hated everyone. He hated his life. He reaches into the drawer by the the bed pulling out the broken piece of glass._ _

__

__He just wanted to stop the hurt he’s feeling._ _


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// self harm
> 
> There's self harm in this chapter. I try not to be graphic but it's still there. 
> 
> Please read with caution

*** **March 22, 2007** ***

_Seungkwan is hiding behind the bush watching the house across the street. It’s been 15 minutes and he’s growing impatient wishing they will hurry up and leave. Finally he sees them getting into the car. He waited until the car disappeared around the corner and that’s when he made his way across the street. No one in sight as usual, something the boy is always grateful for. He knocked on the oak door._

_“Thought you weren't going to come.” Yejun stated, opening the door wide to let the boy in._

_“Not sure why you would think that.” Seungkwan said, placing his hands on Yejun’s shirt. “You say she isn’t going to be back until 9 pm, right?”_

_“Mhm that’s right.” Yejun replied, using a hand to sooth down the boy’s hair._

_“Well I guess that gives us enough time to do whatever we want, huh.” Seungkwan trailing his hands down Yejun’s shirt._

_“It does.” Yejun cupped Seungkwan’s face in his hand and kissed him._

_Seungkwan held Yejun closer to him, the kiss getting deeper. He loved Yejun kisses, the softness of his lips._

_“I love the way you kiss me.” Seungkwan breathed, letting their foreheads touch._

_“The feeling is mutual. How about we move this to the bedroom.”_

_Seungkwan bit down on his lips. Was he ready for this? He thought it about but he didn’t think it was actually going to happen._

_Yejun can tell Seungkwan is nervous. “Don’t be nervous baby. I wanna show you how special you are to me.”_

_“I’m..I’m special.” Seungkwan looked at Yejun, not sure if he wanted to believe him._

_Yejun nodded. “Of course. You are so special Seungkwan. You have nothing to worry about, baby I promise to be gentle with you.”_

_Seungkwan let Yejun lead him to the bedroom. He trusted Yejun because he knew he wouldn’t ever hurt him. ___

__

__***_ _

__

__Seungkwan looked at his appearance in the mirror. His hair is a mess and his eyes are red and puffy. All the color in his face is drained, dark circles are forming under his eyes. He’s not really surprised because he stopped caring about his looks._ _

__

__What’s the point anyway?_ _

__

__Just in the same way he stops joining Seokmin and his son at the kitchen table for meals. He didn’t even feel hungry anymore or maybe he did but he was simply ignoring the rumbling of his stomach. He holed himself up in the room curtains drawn blocking out the world. He also ignored the sound of his phone ringing and the taps on the door. He just stopped caring about everything._ _

__

__He didn’t have a job to go to anymore. He didn’t have a boyfriend anymore. Did his life even matter at this point?_ _

__

__Seungkwan reached over and grabbed his phone. He scrolled through the camera roll. Every picture he got is of him and Hansol. Him and Hansol at various locations. Smiling. Happy. He also has photos of him and Mingyu._ _

__

__Seungkwan doesn’t even have the strength to delete the photos. He put his phone back down on the nightstand clutching the pillow closer to him._ _

__

__There’s a tap on the door. “Seungkwan, I’m about to leave for Taesoo’s play.” Seokmin’s voice said from the other side of the door. “We’ll probably be back by 7 I left some food on the stove in case you get hungry,okay?.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan doesn’t reply. He feels awful because Seokmin is the only person he has right now and he’s treating him like this. On the other hand, Seungkwan just wanted to be left alone._ _

__

__Seungkwan opening the door. The house is quiet now as he makes his way towards the bathroom. He sits down on the floor back against the tub as with the piece of glass in his hand. He twirled it around his finger and never thought he would be immersed by such a simple object._ _

__

__He took a deep breath. He could do this. He needed to do this. He had no other choice._ _

__

__He held out his wrist as he slid the glass down his arm. He shuddered at the sight of blood but he couldn’t stop now. He made another line this time cutting deeper._ _

__

__He thinks about Hansol. Does he really blame Hansol for cheating on him? I mean of course he would cheat on him with Kim Mingyu- who wouldn’t. Mingyu is everything he isn’t._ _

__

__Seungkwan digs the broken glass deeper into his wrist._ _

__

__Mingyu is handsome. Smart. A celebrity. No wonder Hansol wanted him._ _

__

__The blood dripped down his arm._ _

__

__Wonwoo would have probably given up liking him when he realized how useless he is. Because he is useless. Gross. Disgusting. He couldn’t do anything right. He couldn’t even keep a boyfriend._ _

__

__One arm down. Another one to go. Seungkwan is a little surprised he’s not crying. Maybe his body, like him, just stopped caring._ _

__

__Once he’s gone, he will no longer be a burden to Seokmin._ _

__

__He digs the glass deeper into his wrist. He wondered if he should have chosen pills instead it would have been quicker than this. No he needed to feel the pain. He wanted to feel the pain. A tear dripping down his face._ _

__

__Once he’s gone, he would no longer be anyone’s problem._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__“Daddy Daddy did you see me.” Taesoo is bouncing from one foot to the other._ _

__

__Seokmin chuckled. “Yes Tae I saw. I was sitting right in front.”_ _

__

__“The teacher said I was the best out of everyone.”_ _

__

__“You sure you were kiddo.” Seokmin ruffled his son’s hair. “How about you wash up before dinner.”_ _

__

__“Okayyy.” Taesoo speeding up the stairs. Seokmin shook his head in amusement. He placed the bag of takeout on the counter noticing the food still on the stove. He’s starting to get concerned with the fact Seungkwan keeps neglecting food._ _

__

__“Daddy daddy.” Taesoo’s screaming running down the stairs._ _

__

__“Hey what’s up.” Seokmin doesn’t know why his son is being so loud but judging by the boy’s pale face something must have happened._ _

__

__“It’s U-uncle Kwannie.” Taesoo cried. “There’s red stuff all over him.”_ _

__

__Seokmin furrowed his brows. “Red stuff? What are-“ The realization draws on his face. Shit. He rushed upstairs and what he saw in the bathroom almost made him sick._ _

__

__“Oh my god, oh my god.” Seokmin puts a hand to his chest._ _

__

__“Daddy what’s wrong with him ” Taesoo whimpered from the hallway._ _

__

__“Tae I need you...to go to your room.”_ _

__

__“But-“_ _

__

__“Now.” Seokmin said firmly. He waited until he heard the bedroom door close and he scurried over the blood stained floor. With his phone in his hand he dialed 119._ _

__

__“H-hello I need a medic. My friend is badly injured.” He is trying to keep his voice composed so that the dispatcher could understand him._ _

__

__He is feeling Seungkwan’s pulse but he doesn’t feel anything. He tried again praying to feel anything._ _

__

__“Cmon kwannie please no no.” Seokmin is cradling his unconscious friend in his arms. He wished the ambulance would hurry up._ _

__

__He couldn’t lose Seungkwan. He just couldn’t._ _


	38. Chapter 38

Seokmin is standing outside of Seungkwan’s room pacing back and forth waiting and waiting for any news. Suddenly the door opens up and the doctor, a balding older man, comes out. 

“Are you relative?” He asked Seokmin. 

Seokmin shook his head. “No I’m just a friend. His mother won’t be here until tomorrow morning.” 

“I see.” The doctor looked down at his clipboard. “We were able to stop the bleeding however due to the circumstances of his injuries we had no other choice but to put him on a 24 hour suicidal watch as a precaution.” 

Seokmin gulped. “I understand. Is it ok for me to..see him.” 

The doctor nodded. “Of course although he is sedated at the moment.” 

Seokmin thanked the doctor. Once he’s gone, Seokmin buried his head in his hands taking a deep breath. He never thought he would be at a hospital for something like this. 

“Seokmin.”

He looked up to see Jun running towards him. 

“What..what happened?” A pale faced Jun asked. 

Seokmin bites down in his lips. He’s debating whether he should tell Jun the truth or not. On the other hand he did call him to come here in the first place. After he finished telling Jun everything, the chinese man narrowed his eyes.

“Are you serious like what the fuck.” he said angrily. “How could he do that to Seungkwan.” 

“I know it’s horrible. Hey where are you going?” 

“To give Hansol a piece of my mind, preferably my fists.” Jun growled. Seokmin grabbed hold of his wrist to stop him. 

“You’re not gonna to do anything. This is between Seungkwan and Hansol and I’m pretty sure beating him up isn’t gonna solve anything besides I need you to stay here. My mother is watching Taesoo momentarily so I have to go back home.” 

Jun raked a hand through his hair in frustration. “Ok fine I’ll stay. I promise.” he added when he saw the man is looking unconvinced.

“The doctor says it’s okay to see him even though he’s sedated.” Seokmin stated. “His mother should be here by the morning.” He patted Jun’s shoulder. “Call me when he wakes up, okay?” 

Jun nodded sinking into a chair. He doesn’t want to go into the room just yet seeing his friend in such an unfortunate state. Realizing he can’t sit here forever he slowly gets up making his way to the room. He slides open the door standing in the doorway looking at Seungkwan hooking up to tubes and IVs. Jun isn’t sure what pained him the most; the plastic blue handcuffs that restrained him to the bed or the bandages that covered the entirety of his arms. 

Jun sits down on the edge of the bed. The only sounds coming from the room are the machines beeping and Seungkwan’s slow breathing. He gently stroked his friend’s hand. 

Seungkwan didn’t deserve this, he thought miserably. 

<>

One week.

One week of pain.

One week of suffering.

One week since his everything left him. 

Hansol takes a swing from the bottle. He turned the bottle upside down with only little droplets coming out. He sighed as he placed the bottle on the floor among the other empty bottles that now littered the cold floor. He twisted the cap off the new bottle in his hand. He stopped going to work and caring about his career. All he does now is stay in the apartment and drink away in misery. 

What’s the point of caring about anything anymore? Seungkwan is gone. His Seungkwan is gone and never coming back. Without Seungkwan, he’s nothing. Without Seungkwan, he feels the will not to live anymore. 

But he deserved this. He deserved the pain. He deserved the suffering. He hurted the only person who cared about him. The only person who truly loved him. He can’t blame anyone but himself for this. 

He slept with another man knowing his actions were wrong. He did those things with Mingyu not thinking how much he betrayed his boyfriend. He did all that now he must suffer the repercussions. 

Hansol finished the bottle and grabbed another one. He crawled towards the drawer reaching for the photo that Seungkwan took of them when they took a vacation to Jeju Island. He clutched the picture frame close to him. He needed Seungkwan so badly. He missed the hugs. The kisses. He missed Seungkwan fussing over him. He missed everything about Seungkwan. 

Seungkwan was the glue that held everything together including him. Now that he’s gone, the apartment fell into disarray. Dishes are piling up in the sink and the trash hasn’t been taken out in days. He keeps the curtains closed because darkness is his only friend now. He didn’t care about his appearance anymore yeah he may still take showers but that’s about it. He spends most time either laying on the bed or on the floor with alcohol bottles surrounding him.

He stopped eating instead supplemented drinking for food. He isn’t sure how much alcohol a stomach can withstand but judging by the pain he’s feeling, he’s probably sure that he’s pushing the limit. The thing is he can’t stop even with the pain, the alcohol is the only thing that’s helping him deal with the loneliness.

There’s a knock on the door. Maybe if he ignores the knocking, the person would go away. Unfortunately the knocking keeps on and on. Unsteady getting on his feet, Hansol wonders who the hell is disturbing his misery. He opened the door to be met with Jihoon.

Jihoon’s eyes widened at Hansol. “Dude you look like shit.” 

“Well good morning to you too, hyung.” 

“Morning? It’s literally 2 in the afternoon.” Jihoon pushed past him. “You haven’t been to the radio station in a week and I have been trying to call you but you aren’t answering so I came here.” He looked around. “Jesus, what the hell happened here? Is Seungkwan so busy at work that he isn’t aware of the state of this apartment. It’s a mess.” 

Hearing Seungkwan’s name coming from someone else's mouth pained Hansol. “H-he isn’t here.” 

“Why? Where is he?” 

Hansol bit the inside of his cheek. He’s rocking back and forth pressing a fist to his mouth. He’s never been much of a cryer but at that moment he can feel tears starting to well up. 

“Hansol.” Jihoon repeated slowly, a little concern about his friend’s behavior. “Where is he?” 

“He’s gone. He left me.” Hansol banging his fists on his forehead. “I cheated on him with Mingyu and left me and he’s never coming back.” 

Jihoon blinking, not sure if he heard correctly. “You did what? Hansol what the hell.” 

“I know I know. I fucked up. I fucked real bad.” Hansol confessed, gripped the top of his hair and wanted to pull it out. 

Jihoon is standing there conflicted. He feels pity for Hansol but at the same time he’s mad at what he did. “You can’t do this to yourself.” 

“Do what?” 

“This.” He gestured at the empty bottles covering the floor. “What are you planning on doing, drink yourself to death.” 

“Can’t you just fuck off already.” Hansol snapped at him “Go. Leave.” 

Jihoon complied with his wishes walking towards the door. With a hand on the knob he turned back to look at Hansol. “You can fix this. I know you can.”

Hansol doesn’t reply. 

He’s alone again. He has no idea what time it is since he stopped checking his phone. The pain in the stomach is slowly beginning to bother him as he drowned down another bottle. There’s another knock on the door. Hansol cursing under his breath, why won’t people leave him alone. 

He narrowed his eyes when he realized who it was. “What the fuck you doing here.” 

“H-Hansol.” Mingyu stammered,looking scared. “I came by to check on you. You haven’t been answering my calls.”

Hansol stared at him. “You got some nerve showing up here.” he slurred holding onto the door frame for support. 

“I-“ 

“This is all your fucking fault.” Hansol shouted angrily at him. “He saw us and he left me. The best thing that has happened to me in a long time is gone all because I fucked a useless thing like you . You ruined my life, you stupid slut. Just fucking leave will you.” 

Mingyu looked like he was on the verge of tears. Hansol’s words felt like a punch to his gut. “Okay.” he said quietly, turning around to leave. 

Hansol slammed the door shut with so much force. Breathing heavily he clutched his stomach feeling the pain becoming unbearable at his point. He rushed to the bathroom but he didn't even make it to the toilet before he doubled down and vomited all over the floor. Wiping his mouth he slid down on the wall. He barely cries. He never considers himself to be an emotional person. 

The tears came and he let them fall. 

“Kwannie.” He brawled and clutched his stomach. “Kwannie I need you.” he screamed at the top of his lungs. “I need you I need you so much oh god I need you.”

He sat on the floor weeping and weeping. Weeping at the emptiness. Weeping at what he lost.

<>

Seungkwan wakes up to the sun peeking through the curtains. He shifted slightly on the hospital bed, he winced at the pain coming from his heavily bandaged arms. He turned his head, perching on top of the hospital nightstand is a vase full of flowers. There’s no note indicating who they're from and he doesn’t have it in him to ask a nurse who sent them. For the first couple of days, there was always a nurse in his room. Some of them did not say anything to him( to which Seungkwan was thankful for). Others tried to engage in conversations but he didn’t say much. These people probably had actual patients they should be taking care of instead of wasting time babysitting a person who tried to kill himself. 

Seungkwan sighed as he laid on his back looking at the blank white ceiling. Two days earlier, his mother came and she caused quite a uproar after seeing the plastic handcuffs asking, more like demanding, the nurses to take them off because in her words ‘he wasn’t a threat to society’. His mother can be kind but she can also be strong willed at times. He remembered when she entered the room and he felt bad. He felt bad because she had to come all the way here to a hospital, to see him like this. That’s when he broke down in tears telling her how sorry he was. She told him he had nothing to apologize that none of this is his fault. She hugged him and told him everything is going to be alright. A mother’s touch can be the most comforting feeling in the world. 

His mother stayed for a few days but she had to leave for meetings at the company. Seokmin and Jun came by often too although they couldn’t stay for long. Seungkwan didn’t miss the way they looked at him or the sympathy in their eyes, they felt sorry for him and in some way so did he.

He clutched the bedsheets, grimacing a little bit. He was given painkillers that didn't help much. Now that he was no longer under suicidal watch, he was alone in his hospital room lost in his thoughts. The door slid open, he thought maybe it’s Jun or Seokmin however he’s definitely caught off guard by the new visitor.

Seungkwan frowned. “What are you doing here?”

Eunwoo stood at the side of the bed staring at Seungkwan. He perched on the edge close to him. 

“My uncle is one of the board directors here.” Eunwoo shrugged. “I just happened to be walking past and saw you in here.” He reached to brush a piece of hair off the younger man’s head however Seungkwan shifted slightly away before he could touch him.

“I think the real question is...why are you here.” he eyes lingered on Seungkwan’s bandaged arms. 

“I’m not telling you because it’s none of your damn business.” Seungkwan snapped.

Eunwoo laughed softly. “You’re right, it isn’t my business. I only ask because you’re my friend and I care about you.”

“First,we aren’t friends. Second, I’m surprised Jaehyun let you off your leash.” 

“It’s amazing how even in the state you are in.” Eunwoo took hold of Seungkwan’s left wrist. “You still manage to be that cheeky bastard like you were back in high school.” he pressed a thumb down on Seungkwan’s injured wrist. 

A tight lipped Seungkwan didn’t wince because he’s not about to give satisfaction to this psycho who wanted to see him react. Eunwoo, keeping his eyes on Seungkwan, pressing down deeper causing the younger man to let out a small shriek. Eunwoo smirked.

“Fine don’t tell.” He stood up. “But I’ll find out. I always do.” Before he left, he looked back at Seungkwan.

“I hope you like the flowers.” 

When he’s gone, Seungkwan slightly sits up on the bed feebly reaching over to grab the flowers inside the vase and throwing them in the wastebasket where they belong.

<>

“And are you sure? Like positively sure.”

“Of course I’m sure Jae, look I even took a picture of him when he was asleep.” Eunwoo showed him the photo on his phone. “Now do you believe me.”

Jaehyun stared at the photo, a glint in his eyes. “Well I’ll be damn. Precious little rich boy tried to off himself.” he tutted. “How shameful but not surprising.”

“So are you going to tell me why we are standing in this abominable alleyway in the rain.” 

“Waiting for a friend.” Jaehyun replied, the raindrops falling down rapidly on the umbrella that sheltered the two men. 

Eunwoo arched a brow. “A friend? Who?”

“You’ll see ah I think that’s him now.” Jaehyun said, staring at a disheveled man whose clothes are barely holding on as he clutching his side limping down the alleyway. “Hannie, my deprivation friend, good to see you again.” he smiled widely.

“What do you want from me?” Jeonghan asked through clenched teeth, hand still on his aching side.

“What happened?” Jaehyun asked softly. “Did Cheollie find out you were dipping into his shipment again so he had to put you back in your place?”

Jeonghan doesn’t respond. “I’m going to…” he grimaced, finding it hard to talk in the state he’s in. “Ask again...what the fuck do you want from me.”

“Your cooperation of course.” Jaehyun fetched inside his pocket pulling out a small clear tube container. “When was your last fix? I estimated maybe 2 hours ago, right?”

Jeonghan’s eyes grew hungry as he licked his lips at the sight of the small tube. He advanced forward, however, Jaehyun held the bottle out of his reach.

“Uh uh not until you agree to what I told you first.”

Jeonghan nodded his head eagerly. “Okay okay I’ll do it.”

Jaehyun throws the small container in the air that the other bounced forward caught clutching it in his hand as if it’s the most precious thing in the world. 

Jaehyun beckoned to Eunwoo. “C’mon let’s go.” he looked over his shoulder at the raggedy man crouching down on the wet ground. “Fucking druggie.” he muttered in disgust.

“What exactly did he agree to do for you?” Eunwoo asked.

“Can’t say. It’s all part of my plan.”

“And do you care to explain to me what this plan is?”

“I will.” Jaehyun promised, turning the key in the ignition. “In time I will.”


	39. Chapter 39

*** **October 12, 2007** ***

_“This is outrageous. Blasphemy.”_

_“Mrs. Boo I understand your frustration please I do.” The Principal said._

_“A member of your faculty took advantage of my son.” Seungkwan’s mother said angrily. “I want punishment. I want justice.”_

_Seungkwan is sitting with his head hung low letting his mother do most of the talking. The news of Yejun and Seungkwan had spread rapidly throughout the school that walking down the hallways became almost unbearable as everywhere he went, there were looks and whispers. The thing is none of the whispers were low as if they wanted him to hear._

_“That’s him. The one who slept with Mr. Choi, the math teacher.”_

_“Yeah that’s him.”_

_“I hear he gave Mr. Choi a blowjob behind the gym.”_

_“I hear they were doing it in his office.”_

_“Ew disgusting.”_

_“Such a whore.”_

_“Slut.”_

_If that wasn’t bad enough, he couldn’t even go on his social media accounts without seeing rude comments and badly put together edits of him. Eunha, his friend since high school, stopped hanging out with him, choosing to hangout with the same group who were harassing him. It came to the point Seungkwan started making excuses to not go to school. His mother didn’t understand why the boy who liked school suddenly didn't want to go anymore. Eventually she would find out why. While at a school function, Yejun’s wife, breath reeking of alcohol, contronting Seungkwan right in front of everyone and according to her words “that little bitch seducing my husband.” The next day Yejun went to the school board and told them how Seungkwan kept making advances towards him. Of course Seungkwan told the board his side. Now here he is sitting inside the principal’s office with his mother practically screaming at the man._

_“And you believe his words over my son’s. Is that what you’re telling me.”_

_“I never say I believed him.” The Principal said calmly, Seungkwan got to give it to this man for being so patient, especially dealing with a fiery woman like his mother. “And I don’t think Seungkwan is a liar. It’s that I have to take consideration from both parties before I make a decision.”_

_Seungkwan’s mother crossed her arms, not satisfied by that answer. “I think it’s time for us to leave Seungkwan dear.”_

_When they make it home, she comes to a decision. “To think that high school was supposed to be one of the best in South Korea.” she said angrily. “Yet they allow pedophile teachers to teach there. Despicable. Looks like I have no other choice-”_

_“Homeschool.” Seungkwan asked hopefully._

_Her eyes softened. “No I’m sorry sweetie. I’m going to transfer you to Greenwood Academy, it’s all boys school, your father and grandfather’s alma mater. I just happen to know the admission officer so maybe I could convince him to let you finish out your remaining year without having to take the necessary tests.”_

_Seungkwan sighed. “Ok can I go to my room now.” he doesn’t wait for a reply as he makes his way upstairs. Once inside his room, he flopped down on his bed bringing his knees up to his chin. He feels so hurt. Hurt by the fact Yejun used him. Hurt by the fact Yejun lied to him. He trusted him. He really thought the man loved him. Apparently not. Now he had to transfer schools right in the middle of the year because he foolishly fell for the lies his teacher told him._

_Seungkwan wiped the corner of his eyes._

_Could his life get any more worse? ___

__

__***_ _

__

__Two weeks later, Seungkwan was officially discharged from the hospital. The bandages that covered his arms are off but the scars are going to take time to heal. He is helped into the car by Seokmin. They make it back to Seokmin’s house where he helps his friend upstairs into the guest room. He turned around to leave but a small “ow” had him turning back around._ _

__

__“What’s wrong? Do you need a painkiller?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan shook his head. “No I need help taking my shirt off.” he said wearily._ _

__

__“Oh.” Seokmin gently lifted Seungkwan’s shirt over his head. This close proximity had Seungkwan examining the details of his friend’s face. Has Seokmin always been this handsome?_ _

__

__“Eh kwannie are you okay? You got a weird look on your face.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan blinked. “Um it’s that….I- thank you.” he backed away grabbing his new shirt off the bed. “I think I'll be fine from here.” A slight blush appearing on his face._ _

__

__“Great guess I will start getting dinner ready.” Seokmin smiled at him._ _

__

__Once he’s gone, Seungkwan sits down on the bed trying to understand what the hell just happened._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Later on that night after dinner, Seungkwan and Seokmin decided to have a movie night with the lights dimly lit and Seungkwan cradled a bowl of popcorn in his lap._ _

__

__“God why do we always end up watching cringey movies.” Seungkwan groaned._ _

__

__“Because the cringey ones are the best ones.” Seokmin grabbed a fistful of popcorn and stuffed it into his mouth._ _

__

__“I beg to differ and close your mouth when you eat.”_ _

__

__Seokmin grinned. “Yes mother. You know I miss these days when it was just the two of us. Remember all those late nighters and countless cups of ramen.”_ _

__

__“And near breakdowns.” Seungkwan added._ _

__

__“Yeah but that was mostly coming from you. Hey.” Seokmin ducked to avoid the flying kennel._ _

__

__Both men broke out into laughter. It felt good to laugh again, Seungkwan thought. Once the laughter died down, Seungkwan laid his head on Seokmin’s shoulder._ _

__

__“Earlier today I almost...called him.” Seungkwan whispered, twisting his fingers in his lap. He couldn’t help but think about Hansol. What was he doing right now? Was he thinking about Seungkwan as much as Seungkwan was thinking about him? “I honestly don’t know how I’m going to do this Minnie. Five years. I was with him for five years. Prior I never been with anyone else.” he sighed._ _

__

__“You can do this, I know you can.” Seokmin reassured him. “You are stronger than you think.” He kissed the top of Seungkwan’s hair._ _

__

__Seungkwan felt an odd sensation in his stomach from the kiss. “Really?”_ _

__

__“Yes. You’re Boo Seungkwan, a warrior, a-”_ _

__

__He’s cut off by the kiss Seungkwan pressed on his lips._ _

__

__Seungkwan, shocked at what he just did, jumped up from the couch. “Oh my god I’m so sorry.” he spluttered. “I’m so sorry I-I shouldn’t have done that.”_ _

__

__“No no no it’s okay well it’s not okay I mean..I don't know what I’m trying to say.” Seokmin fumbled, feeling just as shocked._ _

__

__“God I’m such a screw up.” Seungkwan said, gripped the top of his hair. “I’m an awful human being.” he dropped his hands to his side. “I understand if you hate me now.”_ _

__

__“I don’t hate you.” Seokmin said quietly. “And you definitely are not a screw up. You had a moment of weakness, everyone has one at some point.”_ _

__

__“Now come back and sit down.” Seokmin outstretched his arm. “We could watch another cringe movie and we can pretend that..that never happened, okay?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan nodded, falling back on the couch into his friend’s arms. For the rest of the night, they stayed like that. Both men eventually fall into sleep filled with uneasy thoughts._ _

__

__The next day is when everything came crashing down._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__It started out as any other normal Saturday morning. Seungkwan wakes up, however, hears hushed voices coming from the hallway. He silently walked over to the wall hiding behind it as he listened on._ _

__

__“Last night he woke up screaming. You should’ve seen him. The poor thing but it’s obviously you don’t care.” A shrill female voice hissed._ _

__

__“Of course I care.” Seokmin argued back. “Why would you say such a thing?”_ _

__

__“Because you wouldn’t let him stay here.”_ _

__

__“He’s my friend. He has nowhere else to go.”_ _

__

__“I don’t care.” The woman nearly shouted. “My son saw a man bleeding out on a bathroom floor and now he’s traumatized. As long as my son is living here, I don’t want him here.”_ _

__

__“First he’s our son and second you don’t even live here so you can’t dictate who gets to stay in my house.” Seokmin practically shouted back._ _

__

__Having enough of this, Seungkwan stepped out from behind the wall making his presence known to the two people. Both of them fell silent at the sight of him. Seokmin’s face is red with anger while Gyuri, Seokmin’s ex, is standing with her arms crossed and her mouth pressed in a thin line._ _

__

__“Gyuri.” Seungkwan greeted her politely. He would never understand why this woman disliked him so much._ _

__

__“Seungkwan.” Gyuri said curtly. She throws a look at Seokmin before walking out the door. “I hope you make the right decision.”_ _

__

__When she left, Seokmin let out a frustrated sigh. “Ugh that woman I swear.”_ _

__

__“She’s right though.” Seungkwan said quietly. “I hear everything.”_ _

__

__“Listen kwannie you know I love you but I had to put my son first.” Seokmin croaked. He didn’t want to do this._ _

__

__Seungkwan nodded. “It’s okay really I understand. I’ll be gone by today.”_ _

__

__With that he walks up the stairs up to the guest room to start packing. While putting clothes in his suitcase, a small voice speaks behind him._ _

__

__“Are you leaving?” Taesoo squeaked. Seungkwan turning around, it’s crazy how much the boy is a spitting image of Seokmin._ _

__

__“Unfortunately yes.”_ _

__

__“Is it because of me? Please don’t leave, I promise I’ll behave. I won’t act like a scaredy-cat I swear.” The boy pleaded, his bottom lip trembling._ _

__

__Seungkwan crouching down in front of him. “Sweetie none of this is your fault. I don’t blame you for anything. You saw something really awful and reacted in a way any other human being would.”_ _

__

__“But why do you have to leave.” Taesoo said in a small voice._ _

__

__Seungkwan’s stomach tightened. He’s the reason for this. He possibly traumatized this little boy forever and now he feels so guilty. “Because I’m not feeling well and I need to go away for a while to get better.”_ _

__

__“Are you going to come back ?”_ _

__

__“Of course sweetie. And when I do, I’m going to take you and your father to an amusement park and I'm gonna buy you every ice cream flavor.”_ _

__

__That seemed to brighten the boy’s mood a little bit. “Okay. I’m gonna miss you Uncle Kwannie.” he little arms wrapped around Seungwkan’s waist._ _

__

__Seungkwan hugged him back tightly. “I’m gonna miss you so much Tae.”_ _

__

__Seokmin is waiting at the front door. He cleared his throat. “Well I guess this goodbye for now.” he lightly patted Seungkwan on his shoulder._ _

__

__Seungkwan, however, pulled in the man for a hug. “Don’t be ridiculous Minnie. Do you really think I’m just gonna accept a pat on the shoulder? When I come back, I’m gonna be better and healthier.”_ _

__

__“You promise?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan smiled at his friend. “I promise.”_ _

__

__With suitcase in hand, he made his way down the porch to the waiting uber._ _

__

__Seokmin leaned in the doorway watching as he got into the car that disappeared around the corner._ _

__

__“He’s gonna be alright” Seokmin muttered to himself. “I know he is.”_ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__Seungkwan checked in at The Grand Diamond, the most expensive hotel in Seoul. For a long time he downplayed the fact he is an heir just because he didn’t want people to treat him differently. As he handed the receptionist his gold card he realized there’s nothing wrong with indulging once in a while._ _

__

__He’s taken up to the 7th floor also known as the “Rich People’s Floor”. He’s led into a room so big that you could probably fit two rooms in here. The walls are painted golden while a huge golden chandelier hangs from the ceiling. There’s a huge bay window that overlooks the Han River. Seungkwan sank down on the extremely comfortable bed. That feeling of loneliness coming over him once again. He would rather be back at Seokmin’s place than be here but he doesn’t have much of a choice unless he wants to deal with Gyuri’s wrath._ _

__

__Sighing, he checked the time on his phone. It’s too early to go to bed so that’s how he found himself sitting inside of The Swan Lounge stirring the drink in his hand. He swore to himself he will never come back to this place yet here he was._ _

__

__“Why so glum, clum?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan turned his head to see Jeonghan sitting there. His long blonde hair unkempt and his clothes, as usual, barely holding on, also Seungkwan noticed how much weight the man has lost._ _

__

__Seungkwan ignored him but that didn’t seem to stop Jeonghan who let out a small laugh._ _

__

__“Fine you don’t have to tell me, your face says it all and I think I might have a situation to your problem.” he’s rummaging around in his pocket, sleeve slightly raised up to reveal fresh needle marks. “Just a suggestion y’know.” he slides a white business card over to Seungkwan._ _

__

__He brushes his arm slightly against Seungkwan’s back on his way out. “See you around.” he murmured in Seungwan’s ear._ _

__

__Seungkwan snorted. The last thing he was going to do was take advice from a drug addict. He drowned the rest of his drink getting ready to call it a night. Curiosity got the best of him as he flipped over the white business card:_ _

__

__****__

____

**Xu Minghao**

____

____  
****

**Professional Repairman**

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aftter 39 Chapters, Minghao is finally here


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanna say that my depictions of certain members in this fic does NOT reflect how I view them irl. Seventeen are my ult and comfort group and I love each of them so much. Even though this fic is base on real people, everything is fictional. 
> 
> With that being said, this chapter contains minor violence and a panic attack scene (both of them are not detailed but is still there.)
> 
> Please read with caution.

*** **January 5, 2008** ***

_“Honey are you sure you don’t want me to walk you to the door?”_

_Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Mom, I’m 14 not 4 I think I’m capable of walking into school by myself.”_

_“Okay, try to have a good first day.” She said._

_Seungkwan waved a hand while getting out of the backseat to show he heard her. He stood on the sidewalk watching as the car sped away, He nervously glanced up at the gray building that was definitely bigger than his old school. He slowly makes his way to the front door, slightly clutching his backstrap. Along the way there are students lounging around outside chatting with friends bundling up as they wait for the first bell to ring. The interior of the school literally screamed rich. The entrance is massive with one side displaying a glass case that had numerous trophies inside it. Seungkwan was quite shocked as he stared around. Yeah this place was definitely the opposite of his old high school. As much as he wanted to explore he didn’t have time as he pulled out his schedule and saw his first class is advanced Chemistry._

_Seungkwan walks down the halls looking at the numbers on the doors however the numbers are written in gold and kind of small that he had to squint to see. Why are the numbers so damn small he thought annoyingly. He goes up to the second floor and unfortunately he still doesn’t see his class number. Sheer panic starts to crept into him, he only got 5 minutes to make it to his class and it would be embarrassing if he shows up late on his first day. Around the corner he accidentally bumped into someone. Books, notebooks, and papers went flying everywhere._

_“I-I’m sorry.” Seungkwan stammered. He’s bracing for the angry retort telling him to watch where he’s going. However the student, a round face boy with chestnut hair, smiled at him, not seeming the bit upset._

_“It’s okay dude no need to apologize. I haven’t seen you around here, you must be new?”_

_“Uh I transferred.” Seungkwan mumbled speaking to his shoes rather than to the boy._

_The boy, who had Seungkwan’s schedule in his hands, looking down at the piece of paper eyes widened. “Holy shit like you in every honors class you must be hella smart.”_

_“I don’t think so.” Seungkwan said shyly, feeling heat on the back of his neck.“I consider myself average.”_

_The boy grinned. “Alright well we are in the same chemistry class which is a floor up, that floor is basically the science department. The floor we are on now.” he gestured a hand around. “Is for the arts.”_

_Seungkwan nodded trying to remember all of this._

_“Shall we get going.” The boy looked down at the schedule. “Boo Seungkwan.”_

_Seungkwan’s stomach fluttered a little bit. He liked the way his name rolled off the boy’s tongue._

_“Shit.” The boy facepalmed. “You don’t even know my name. I’m Choi Youngjae and you probably want your schedule back, my bad.”_

_Seungkwan took the schedule. “It’s okay.” Looking at Youngjae he couldn’t but thought he’s kind of cute._

_Maybe being at Greenwood Academy won’t be so bad after all. ___

__

__***_ _

__

__Seungkwan knocks on the door. This feels weird considering the fact he used to call this place home for the past five years now he is knocking like a stranger. He knocked again with no answer he fetched inside his coat for the apartment key. Inserting the key into the keyhole, he noticed the living room lights were off and it’s oddly cold. Strangely, the only light on is coming from the kitchen. Frowning, Seungkwan walked and he stopped dead in his tracks in the kitchen doorway at the sight in front of him._ _

__

__“Oh my god.”_ _

__

__Violently jerking on the floor is Hansol. Seungkwan hurried forward, dropping to his knees in front of him, heart pounding. He’s frantically wringing his hands around as Hansol continues to spasm on the floor. Seungkwan had to get a grip on himself as he pulled out his phone shakily dialing 119._ _

__

__“Hello?” The dispatcher answered._ _

__

__Seungkwan swallowed. “I-I need a medic. My ...my boyfriend is having a seizure and I think he’s choking on his vomit.”_ _

__

__“Ok an ambulance is on its way for the time being can you turn him on his side. It will reduce the vomiting.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan did what the dispatcher said as he turned an uncontrollable shaking Hansol gently to his side. It only took the ambulance one minute to make it to the apartment complex as there’s a knock on the door. Seungkwan immediately rushed over letting them in. The medics quickly put him on the gurney. They allowed Seungkwan to be in the back of the ambulance. By the time the ambulance made it to the hospital, they rushed an unconscious Hansol through the double doors. However, Seungkwan isn’t allowed to enter past this point so he was left with no choice but to wait outside in the waiting room._ _

__

__The clock on the wall is slowly tricking as Seungkwan is waiting; he isn’t aware that he’s been scratching his right arm for the past five minutes._ _

__

__Finally a doctor comes out. He approached Seungkwan. “Mr. Boo I’m Dr. Kim can you please follow me to my office. There are some things I need to talk to you about.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan nodded as he followed Dr. Kim. Once inside the office, he settled down in the chair across from Dr. Kim who folded his hands on top of his desk._ _

__

__“I’m awful, this was a case of Alcohol Poisoning.” he began. “Now I need to ask a question… Is Mr. Chwe a heavy drinker?”_ _

__

__“I mean sometimes he would occasionally drink, have a glass of wine in the mornings or or have a glass in the evenings.” Seungkwan replied, fidgeting with his hands on his lap. Guilt crept into him thinking about how he never saw Hansol with anything but a drink in his hand._ _

__

__“We were able to pump most of the alcohol out of his system.” Dr. Kim continued. “However, there are going to be adverse problems. When a person depends on a substance for such a long time and is suddenly deprived of it, this can take a toll not only on the body but the brain too. This is called Alcohol Withdrawal. In patients, the Alcohol Withdrawal Process usually takes about 5 to 10 days however it varies from person to person. I’m afraid in Mr. Chwe’s case, because of his long prolonged drinking use, it could take months for the alcohol to be permanently gone from his system.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan gulped processing all of this information. “What would happen if he had at least one glass?”_ _

__

__“If Mr. Chwe even takes a slip of Alcohol, he could slip into a coma and potentially die.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan’s heart sank._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__Hansol is discharged from the hospital the next day. On the car ride, he doesn’t say anything. By the time they make it home, he still hasn’t said anything and now Seungkwan is getting concerned with not only his behavior but how much weight he has lost._ _

__

__“Hansol, you have to eat.” Seungkwan placed the food in front of him._ _

__

__Hansol who is sitting with his arms crossed and a sullen look on his face grumbled. “I’m not hungry.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan sighed. “But the doctor says you have to eat.”_ _

__

__“I told you I’m not fucking hungry.” Hansol picked up the plate and threw it at the wall. He suddenly got up from his chair and stormed out of the kitchen. The sound of the bedroom door being slammed rattled the walls._ _

__

__Seungkwan put a hand to his chest in a state of shock at what just happened. He bends down to pick up the shattered glass pieces. Tears fell down his face as he cleaned up the mess._ _

__

__This went on for the next couple days where Hansol sulked around the apartment staying mute and refusing to eat meals and Seungkwan as usual is trying to plead to him but it really isn’t working. It wasn't just the refusal of meals but also the angry outbursts and the vomiting and the complaining of headaches and the complaining of everything in general. All of this was taking a toll on Seungkwan, who can feel his calmness starting to fall apart piece by piece._ _

__

__It came to a tipping on one Tuesday evening._ _

__

__Seungkwan is awakened by the sound of clashing. He turned to check the time and saw it was 11:30 pm. Brows furrowed, he got up from the bed to find the cause of the noise._ _

__

__In the kitchen is Hansol who is rummaging around in the bottom and top drawers._ _

__

__“It has to be here.” Hansol mumbled to himself. “I knew I put it here somewhere.” he pulled open drawer after drawer._ _

__

__“Hansol.” Seungkwan called out, carefully approaching him “What are you looking for?”_ _

__

__Hansol turned his head with wildness in his eyes. “ I...I had a bottle. I don't know where it is. I gotta find it. I have to.”_ _

__

__“Sollie.” Seungkwan said quietly. “There’s no bottles around here.”_ _

__

__“I’m gonna find it. I need to find it.” Hansol murmured, completely ignoring Seungkwan. He opened more cabinets_ _

__

__“You can’t have any alcohol. The doctor said-“_ _

__

__“Why are you even here?” Hansol screamed in Seungkwan’s face, specks of spit hitting his face. “I thought you fucking hate me.”_ _

__

__He brushed past Seungkwan towards the front door._ _

__

__“W-Where are you going. Hansol please you can’t leave. You have to stay.” Seungkwan pleaded on the verge of tears._ _

__

__It was too late as Hansol slammed the front door shut leaving a devastated Seungkwan standing there. Seungkwan pressed a hand to his mouth as he started to cry._ _

__

__How was he going to deal with this for months when he can’t even handle a few days?_ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Jihoon checked the time on his phone. It’s getting late and his date still hasn’t arrived yet. He’s not really surprised at this point. He’s used to getting stand up anyway but he thought the guy he met online seemed decent but apparently not. Maybe it’s not meant for him to be in a relationship._ _

__

__Sighing, he gets up before he leaves, he makes a detour to the bathroom where bumped into Jun._ _

__

__“Oh hey Jun. How are you doing?”_ _

__

__“Decent. “ Jun said gloomily. “Wish I didn’t have to deal with financial problems though.”_ _

__

__“I already told you I would help you.”_ _

__

__“Nah you know it wouldn’t be right to take money from you.”_ _

__

__“You wouldn’t be taken. I’ll be lending it to you.” Jihoon’s facial expression darkened. “Taken is what my dumbass thief of an ex did.” he decided to change the subject because he doesn’t like to think of that idiot. “I guess you heard the news about Hansol and Seungkwan.”_ _

__

__“Yeah.” Jun said, voice suddenly getting tense. “I can’t believe it y’know.”_ _

__

__Jihoon shook his head. “Yeah me either. Hansol isn’t doing good.”_ _

__

__“I don’t care about how that asshole is doing.” Jun said angrily. “He fucking cheated on Seungkwan. If he’s suffering, good. He deserves all the suffering and more.”_ _

__

__Jihoon frowned at him, he decided there’s no point in saying anything else._ _

__

__What little did they know is that Seungcheol overhead everything._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Hansol is stumbling on the sidewalk. Head throbbing and stomach cramping, he realized he only got a couple of bills in his pocket- not enough for a six pack or even a bottle.Cursing under his breath, maybe he could convince the store clerk to put it on a tab or something. The pain in his stomach is becoming unbearable as he holds on to the wall for support. He’s halfway there to the convenience store when he hears his name being called._ _

__

__“Yo Vernon.” Seungcheol is approaching him from the alleyway. “Is it true.”_ _

__

__“What’s true?” Hansol pressed a finger to his temple. He didn’t have time for whatever bullshit this man is about to say. He needed a drink badly._ _

__

__“That you cheated on Seungkwan.” Seungcheol is basically in his face now, anger in his eyes._ _

__

__“That’s none of your business.”_ _

__

__“It is my business when my brother is involved.” He poked a finger on Hansol’s chest._ _

__

__“That’s a little rich coming from you considering the fact Seungkwan has never acknowledge you, a piece of shit, as his stepbrother.”_ _

__

__Hansol doesn’t register the fist that came into contact with the side of his face that sent him stumbling against the wall. Seungcheol grabbed a fistful of Hansol’s shirt and delivered a few more blows to his face. He wasn’t done as he let go of him and proceeded to kick his stomach repeatedly. Hansol doesn’t have the will even fight back, he just laid there letting the man kick and punch. Somewhere in the conscious part of his mind that’s barely holding on he hears a new voice and Seungcheol is pulling away from him._ _

__

__There’s silence. Hansol is left there bleeding and in the worst pain he’s ever experienced. He spits out a mouthful of blood clutching his stomach in agony. He can’t stand up that would just cause more pain. He’s a little mad at the newcomer for stopping Seungcheol. One more kick, one more blow and he would have been free. Free from his pain. Free from his misery._ _

__

__Because surely death is better than this._ _

__

__He unsteady tried again to get on his feet despite his disoriented vision._ _

__

__“Are you okay sonny.” A concerned voice said on the left side of him. A gente hand touched his shoulder._ _

__

__“Of course he isn’t okay look at him.” Another voice, a female, stated. “He’s badly injured, someone calls 119.”_ _

__

__Dizziness overtakes him as he collapses there on the floor._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__“I need you to explain one more time what exactly happen.?” The police officer asked, notepad in his hand._ _

__

__“I told you I was mugged.” Hansol lied, getting annoyed at why he’s being asked the same question. He’s also annoyed at the damn nurse who is putting ointment on his bruises that’s stinging._ _

__

__“And didn’t get a good look at the person’s face.”_ _

__

__“No they had a mask on. Are we done here? Can I go?”_ _

__

__“Alright if you suddenly remember anything, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. Do you have anyone that can pick you?”_ _

__

__“Yeah yeah.” Hansol said impatiently. Forever wanting to get out of this place. He used the hospital’s phone to dial Jihoon’s number._ _

__

__“Hey hyung I need you to pick me up from the hospital.” he grimaced at the pain in his stomach. “I will explain everything.”_ _

__

__“So who exactly attacked you?” Jihoon asked immediately once Hansol got in the car._ _

__

__Hansol pressed two fingers to his forehead. “Fucking Choi Seungcheol, bastard came out of nowhere. Did you tell him about the cheating?”_ _

__

__Jihoon shook his head, brows knitted. “No, shit he must have overheard me talking to Jun at the bar.”_ _

__

__“That figures.” Hansol muttered. “Pull the car over.”_ _

__

__“What?”_ _

__

__“Pull over unless you want me to puke all over your car.”_ _

__

__Jihoon pulled his car up to the curb. Hansol didn’t waste a minute as he opened the car door and vomited right there on the ground. He wiped his mouth and leaned back on the seat._ _

__

__He turned his head. “I’m surprised you haven’t made a snide remark.”_ _

__

__“You and I both know there is nothing funny about your situation.” Jihoon said slowly._ _

__

__Hansol rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Just take me home already.”_ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__It’s almost 1:00 am. It’s been a hour since Hansol left and Seungkwan is pacing back and forth in the living room. Worries kicking into high gear. Hansol didn’t have his phone on him so Seungkwan couldn’t call him. Suppose something happened to him?_ _

__

__He tugged with the hem of his shirt. His breathing is heavily increasing as every horrible thought raced through his head. The living room suddenly felt small as his throat tightened as if he were drowned. He can feel his heartbeat beating rapidly as he holds on to the back of the armchair for support . Do the counting exercise do the counting exercise he kept telling himself. He inhaled and exhaled over and over again._ _

__

__That’s when the door opened up. Hansol entered being supported by Jihoon._ _

__

__“Hansol.” Seungkwan threw his arms around Hansol’s neck holding him tightly. He let go and let out a small gasp at the sight of his face. “What….What happened to your face?”_ _

__

__“He was mugged.” Jihoon answered._ _

__

__Seungkwan covered his mouth in horror. “Oh no.” he felt like he was going to be sick._ _

__

__Hansol squirmed out of Seungkwan’s hold on him. “I’m tired.” he grumbled heading towards the bedroom without saying anything else._ _

__

__“Thank you. Thank you so much.” Seungkwan said to Jihoon._ _

__

__Jihoon waved a hand. “No problem. I should get going now. Take care.” he glanced at the bedroom._ _

__

__“You too.”_ _

__

__Once he’s standing outside of the door, Jihoon couldn’t help but feel bad. He should have told Seungkwan the truth yet the man is dealing with so much already. He didn’t need any more problems._ _

__

__Jihoon cast one last worry look at the closed door as he made his way to the elevator._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__The sun hasn’t shined in days replaced with a gloomy gray sky. The cold air causes frost to speckle the windows._ _

__

__Seungkwan cracked an egg letting the yolk drip into the frying pan. Hansol is still asleep leaving him to think about last night. Guilt overwhelmed him. He could have done more to keep Hansol from leaving the apartment yet he just stood there. He could have prevented Hansol’s drinking from getting out of control yet he did nothing. Hansol wouldn’t even be in this predicament if he would have done more. This is all his fault._ _

__

__Seungkwan put the spatula down on the counter. He can’t do this. He just can’t. How can he take care of a human being when he can’t even take care of his well being._ _

__

__He remembered the business card Jeonghan gave him that’s tucked away in his coat._ _

__

__Seungkwan gulped. He doesn’t want to do that yet seeing Hansol suffer so much, would it be so wrong? Hansol wouldn’t be in pain anymore and him, Seungkwan, wouldn’t either. Both of them would be free._ _

__

__Yet he told himself after what he did as a teenager, he would never do something like this again but he wouldn’t technically be doing anything, right?_ _

__

__It would be simple. So simple._ _

__

__Seungkwan placed the plate on the table just as Hansol came shuffled into the kitchen._ _

__

__“I’m going out to run some errands.” Seungkwan told him. “I won’t be gone for long.”_ _

__

__A mere grunt from Hansol indicated he heard._ _

__

__Seungkwan picked up the car keys from the counter. He stopped because he couldn’t believe what he was witnessing-Hansol eating, actually eating. After days of practically begging the other to eat here he was with a fork in hand._ _

__

__“Didn’t you say you had errands to do.” Hansol said nonchalantly. “Or are you just gonna stand there and watch me.”_ _

__

__“Uh yeah right.” Seungkwan said sheepishly, opening the front door._ _

__

__To anyone else it may have been nothing but to him it felt like a small victory._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__Seungkwan parked his car in front of the store front. A sign that read **Charlie & Sons Repair Shop** right in front. He slightly clenched the steering wheel. He could do this. _ _

__

__The store is empty with the exception of a young man with wavy brown hair at the counter flipping through a magazine with a bored expression on his face._ _

__

__Seungkwan cleared his throat. “Um excuse me. I’m looking for Xu Minghao.”_ _

__

__The man stared at Seungkwan for a minute before yelling over his shoulder. “Yo Hao you got a customer.”_ _

__

__“Send them back here.” A voice said from the back._ _

__

__The man jutted his chin at Seungkwan who slowly walked behind the counter pushing past the beaded curtains into a green covered room. Sitting at a table is a slender Chinese man dressed in all black. Glasses perched on his nose and his jet black hair that sprouted a mullet in the back._ _

__

__Seungkwan swallowed, mouth suddenly feeling dry. He reminds himself that he's doing this for Hansol._ _

__

__“I….I need some merchandise fix.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the signs of AW( Alcohol Withdrawal) is agitation of course that doesn't justify Hansol's treatment towards Seungkwan. 
> 
> This Chapter marks the turning point of this fic. Things are going get a little dark.


	41. Chapter 41

*** **March 4, 2008** ***

_“Seungkwan sweetie, do you mind if I come in.”_

_Seungkwan had his pillow tucked under his chin. He doesn’t understand why his mother bother even asking. Was she expecting him to say no._

_She sat down on the edge of the bed. “I heard the news about Youngjae. Are you doing okay?”_

_“Yeah.” Seungkwan lied. He was far from okay._

_Seungkwan’s mother sighed. “There’s no need to lie to me. I know you are grieving and I think you should talk to someone, a professional. Joshua Hong, he's a therapist and he has amazing reviews online.”_

_“You want me to see a shrink?” Seungkwan asked, frowning._

_“Therapist.” She corrected him. “I’m not forcing you to go to him. There’s nothing wrong with reaching out for help and talking to someone about your feelings or other things you may not want to share with me.” She got up from the bed. “Just a consideration.”_

_The boy nodded. “I'll think about it.”_

_When his mother is gone, Seungkwan slides off his bed walking towards his closet. On the floor is the panda plushie Youngjae won for him at the winter carnival. He held the stuffed animal close to his chest._

_All he wanted was Youngjae back. ___

__

__***_ _

__

__Minghao raised a brow._ _

__

__“Care to explain more about this merchandise that needs fixing?”_ _

__

__“Uh.” Seungkwan opened then closed his mouth. “I-I’m changing my mind.” he blurted out._ _

__

__Minghao placed his black combat boots on top of the table. “Whatever, if you change your mind again, you know where to find me.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan simply nodded._ _

__

__Back inside his car, he laid his head on the steering wheel feeling foolish. What was he even thinking? Did it really come to this point where he thought this could solve all of his problems?_ _

__

__That’s when an idea popped into his head. There is another solution, a more sane solution._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__He parked his car right in front of the residential commercial building. He hasn’t been here in years and he is feeling a little nervous. He got into the elevator pressing the number 5. Sitting at the receptionist desk is a young woman with blonde hair._ _

__

__“Yes. How may I help?” She asked him, flashing a kind smile._ _

__

__“Uh I’m here to see-”_ _

__

__“Seungkwan.” a surprised voice said from his right side._ _

__

__Seungkwan turned his head. A man with blonde hair wearing a green cardigan and khaki slacks approached him._ _

__

__“What are you doing here?” Joshua asked curiously._ _

__

__Seungkwan bit down on his lower lip. Suddenly he let out everything he’s been holding in for the past weeks._ _

__

__“It all started with a project at my job and then my boss promoted me then I witnessed a murder and then I got locked inside a sauna and then my boss start being more nice to me and then he kissed me and then my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend and then I stayed with another friend who I kissed because i’m idiot and then the doctor told me Hansol needs to stop drinking now he’s going through Alcohol Withdrawal and just now I almost did something horrendous and-“_ _

__

__Joshua’s eyes widened. “Whoa whoa Seungkwan calm down you’re hyperventilating. Let’s go into my office, okay.” he gently took hold of the younger’s arm to guide him into the office._ _

__

__Seungkwan lowered himself onto the blue couch. What he liked most about Joshua’s office is the calm aura it gave off-light blue covered walls and a fish tank on the other side of the room. He wondered if Joshua choose this color to help calm down stressed out patients because if so, it was helping him._ _

__

__Joshua sat down right by him. “Do you think you are calm enough to tell me what is wrong?”_ _

__

__Instead of facing him, Seungkwan turned his head in the direction of the fishtank watching a gold and black fish swimming with a pink coated fish trailing behind._ _

__

__“Hansol cheated on me with my best friend Mingyu.” he whispered watching the two fish. “I felt so hurt. I mean I still do,like they stabbed me in the back with knives and now it feels like my life is spiraling out of control and there’s nothing I can do about it.” he lifted up his sleeve to reveal the scars. “Oh god you must think I’m messed up.” he buried his head in his hands._ _

__

__Joshua is looking at him but not with judgement in his eyes or sympathy. He is looking at a man who feels so broken and lost. “Did you do that recently?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan lifted up his head nodding in shame._ _

__

__“How about panic attacks?”_ _

__

__“I had one last night after Hansol left the apartment and I didn’t know where he went.” Seungkwan said quietly._ _

__

__“I see.” The therapist said. “Do you want to start up your appointments again?”_ _

__

__“I don’t know I want to-..I can’t Dr.Hong.” Seungkwan blurted out, close to tears. “I can’t take Hansol by myself. I need help, that's why I came here. I know this is asking for too much but can you please help me.”_ _

__

__“Of course I would help.” Joshua said calmly. “Don’t ever be afraid to reach out for help besides when I told years ago that my office door is always open, I meant it.”_ _

__

__“Thank you. Thank you so much.” Seungkwan whispered. “I should get going now.”_ _

__

__“Are you heading back home.” Joshua asked. Seungkwan nodded._ _

__

__“Hold on a second while I tell my receptionist that I’m going to be gone for the rest of the day.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan seemed confused. “Oh do you have other plans Dr.Hong?”_ _

__

__“As matter of fact I do.” he said from the doorway. “Also just call me Joshua, okay.” he smiled at Seungkwan._ _

__

__There’s another thing about Joshua- he goes out of his way to help his patients no matter what it is._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Hansol is sitting on the couch flipping through channels, his hand is shaking as usual._ _

__

__“Fuck.” he muttered angrily, throwing the remote control down on the couch. Another thing he has to deal with besides the nausea, vomiting, and basically everything else involving this stupid withdrawal process is the hand tremors. He can’t even hold anything steady without his hands shaking. He hides this from Seungkwan because he doesn’t need the other fussed more as he is doing now. There was a time when he would’ve found Seungkwan’s constant persistent to be cute but now it was getting annoying. Well at that time everything was so simple when he had Alcohol. Now that he doesn’t, he feels like shit, everything is shit. Just shit on top of more shit of his shitty life._ _

__

__He sighed as the door opened up. He turned his head, eyes narrowed at the blonde haired man who was standing behind Seungkwan._ _

__

__“Who is this?” he asked coldly._ _

__

__Joshua didn’t flinch at the man’s cold demeanour instead he said calmly. “My name is Joshua Hong, I used to be Seungkwan’s therapist, well still is, and he asked me for help with your withdrawal process.”_ _

__

__Hansol chortled. “You got me a babysitter?” Really Seungkwan.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan was about to say something when Joshua held up his hand to stop him. “I’ll be right back.” he said to Seungkwan as he turned on his heel and left the apartment._ _

__

__5 minutes later Joshua returned with a bag in his hand. He opened the bag placing a pacifier, a bib and a pack of diapers on the coffee table. “There.”_ _

__

__Hansol staring in bewilderment at the items. “What is all this?”_ _

__

__“Baby items.” Joshua replied simply. “For you I mean you did say I’m your babysitter, right so I had to get the necessary items for a baby because that’s what you're acting like. A big baby instead of a real man who wants to change and become a better person for himself. So what’s it gonna be- you gonna keep acting like a spoiled little child or are you ready to take the incentive to change?” Joshua picked up the pill bottle on the table and placed a pill in his hand right in front of Hansol._ _

__

__Seungkwan is standing there nervously watching the scene right in front of him. Both men in a stare off neither of them backing down eventually Hansol snatched the pill out the therapist's hand and popped it in his mouth._ _

__

__“Good.” Joshua said, seemed satisfied. He rubbed his hand together._ _

__

__“So shall I get dinner ready.”_ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Joshua has had his fair share of patients over the years; some of them withheld and were aggressive , others spilling out their entire life story to him. Needless to say he was definitely prepared for whatever Hansol was going to throw at him. The first week went as expected, the younger man vomiting as usual complaining that the food was making him sick. Complaining that his headaches are getting worse. There was an incident in which Hansol left the apartment without telling Seungkwan or Joshua in which the latter followed him to a convenience store where the rapper was cradling a bottle of gin in his hand. Joshua nearly had to wrestle the bottle out of his hand which led to an angry outburst right in the streets and the slamming of a bedroom door. But despite all of this, Joshua remained calm with a pill in his left hand and a glass of water in the other._ _

__

__Meanwhile Hansol wanted to punch this annoying ass therapist in the face. No one understands what he’s going through. They are not experiencing the pain he’s feeling as if his body is being set on fire. They’re not experiencing waking up in the middle of night in a pool of sweat. They act like he’s a madman who escaped a mental institution.They don’t understand the internal struggle he’s dealing with. They never will._ _

__

__After two weeks, things started to get a little better. He was able to hold down food without throwing up. He still had headaches but they weren’t intense as before. Throughout all of this, Joshua stayed calm and collective._ _

__

__It had Hansol feeling suspicious._ _

__

__So on Tuesday evening while Seungkwan was out getting a few things from the store, Hansol confronted the man who was washing dishes._ _

__

__“Yes?” Joshua asked, back to him but he knew the younger man was standing there._ _

__

__“Yeah I wanted to ask you a question.” Hansol is standing by him. “What is your deal?”_ _

__

__“Excuse me?_ _

__

__“Like how are you so calm dealing with all of this. It’s like I dunno you’ve experience with stuff like this.”_ _

__

__Joshua sighed putting the rag down on the counter. “As matter of fact I do, personally. When I was 18, I was offered a scholarship to attend one of the most prestigious universities in South Korea. However the transition from Los Angeles to here became so stressful for me that I turned to Alcohol as a way to cope. That's when I realized I didn’t want to ruin my life like that so I got help as soon as I could.” he rummaged inside his pocket pulling out a brochure. “I was going to wait to give this to you after dinner. The church holds AA meetings every Tuesday evenings, you should consider going.”_ _

__

__Hansol took the brochure. “Thanks well thanks for everything.” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Also I’m sorry for being an asshole to you for these past weeks.”_ _

__

__Joshua smiled at him. “It’s okay. I know what you are going through, eventually things would get better.”_ _

__

__Hansol stared down at the leaflet in his hand. “Yeah.”_ _

__

__Joshua can feel his phone buzzing in his pocket, he fetched it out to see who it is. “Hello?” he answered, brows drawn together. “Of course, I don’t mind. Try to make it home safe.” he hangs up._ _

__

__“That was Seungkwan.” Joshua told Hansol. “Apparently his mother called him, he said it’s an emergency and he won’t be home until tomorrow morning.”_ _

__

__“Wow I hope his mother is okay.” Hansol said._ _

__

__Joshua clapped his hands together. “Since it’s the two of us, is there in particular you want for dinner?”_ _

__

__“Um if it’s not going out of your way, do you know how to make Spaghetti and meatballs?”_ _

__

__Joshua beamed at him. “Have you ever had meatballs from scratch?”_ _

__

__“No, I didn't even know that was possible.”_ _

__

__“Of course it is but it will require me to have a helper.”_ _

__

__Hansol grinned. “Of course.”_ _

__

__The two men proceeded to get dinner ready falling into a comfortable silence with the occasionally bad jokes coming from Joshua. This feels nice, Hansol thought._ _

__

__He’s determined to fight this personal demon. He will overcome this._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__The rain is pouring down heavy as Seungkwan drives whistling to a song that’s playing on the radio. He slowed the car down when he saw two silhouettes on the side of the street. Maybe they need, he assumed. He drove up to them leaning in from the passenger side. That’s when he realizes it’s Minghao and the other guy from the front counter._ _

__

__“Hey do you guys need help?” he called out having to speak loudly over the heavy rain._ _

__

__Minghao whipped his head around to look at him. “Actually we do, this piece of shit broke down.”_ _

__

__The other guy scowled at him. “Yah don’t call my car that.”_ _

__

__“It’s true though anyway.” he turned back to Seungkwan. “We were heading to Kaesong, that won’t be a problem for you, right?”_ _

__

__“Of course not. Hop in before you two get anymore wetter.” Seungkwan unlocked the door. Minghao got into the passenger seat while his friend was busy lifting a suitcase into the truck. He climbed into the backseat._ _

__

__“Shit, it’s raining like crazy out there.” The guy remarked, pushing his sloppy wet brown off his face._ _

__

__“You know my name already.” Minghao said, jerking his thumb in the direction of the man in the back. “This is my assistant, Lee Chan.”_ _

__

__“I hate that title.” Chan grumbled._ _

__

__Minghao rolled his eyes. “Well you wouldn’t have to be but after that incident at the bar in which your dumbass got into a fight, you don’t have other choice.”_ _

__

__“Not my fault besides I handle that fight well if you must know.” Chan said proudly._ _

__

__“Yeah right.” Minghao snorted. “If you handle it so well, why did I find your idiotic ass passed out by a fire hydrant with a stab wound in your fucking side.”_ _

__

__Chan goes silent. “I was caught off.” he shrugged._ _

__

__Mingaho snorted again. “Whatever.” turned back around._ _

__

__Seungkwan feels a knot in his stomach when he remembers what exactly this man beside him does for a living. Suddenly he’s having second thoughts about picking them up._ _

__

__“Shit.” Minghao muttered, staring at the long line of cars on the expressway. “What the fuck is going on? Was there an accident or something.”_ _

__

__“Dunno.” Chan replied. “Shit, is that a police officer.” he pointed to an officer who was standing talking to the driver in front of them._ _

__

__“Police? The fuck you mean police.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan is confused as to why the sight of a police officer is causing nervousness for the two men. “Is there a problem?”_ _

__

__“Of course there’s a fucking problem. There’s a suitcase filled with 1,000 kilograms of coke in the truck.” Minghao hissed._ _

__

__Seungkwan's eyes widened hoping he heard incorrectly. “W-what? You’ve drugs in my truck.”_ _

__

__“That’s right.” he pulled out a gun positioning it on Seungkwan’s hip. “And when that police officer approaches this car you're gonna act calm or else.” he pushed the tip of the gun deeper into the other’s side._ _

__

__Seungkwan’s insides went cold as he clutched the steering wheel. Now the officer is approaching his car. He rolled down the windows and plastered a fake smile on his face._ _

__

__“Yes officer?” he asked, trying to keep his voice composed knowing there’s a half concealment gun pointing at his side._ _

__

__“I need to check your license, sir.” The officer stated._ _

__

__“Of course.” Seungkwan reached into the glove compartment for his driver’s license handing it to the officer._ _

__

__The officer looked at the license and then gave it back to him. “Alright, you are allowed to pass through. Have a good night.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan merely nodded as he drove off. Minghao lets out the breath he had been holding on._ _

__

__“Whew that was. You did good.” He said to Seungkwan._ _

__

__“Can you please get that metal death stick away from me.” Seungkwan hissed._ _

__

__Minghao retreated the gun pocketing it in his coat. “Drive in the right direction.” he leaned back in his seat._ _

__

__Seungkwan kept his lips pressed together, keeping his eyes on the road not acknowledging the man._ _

__

__“Y’know.” Minghao began, twisted around in his seat to face Chan. “By this rate we might end up making it there sooner than they expected. We're gonna have to end up staying at a motel until morning though because this rain is nowhere clearing up.”_ _

__

__A motel? Surely he isn’t serious, Seungkwan thought angrily. “I’m not about to stay-“ he started but was interrupted by Minghao._ _

__

__“Funny because I don’t remember asking you.” he sneered while Chan laughed. “And you are because I say so now turn in the left direction.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan huffed. He couldn’t believe this.What was supposed to be a simple trip back from the grocery store now had him driving to Kaesong with a truck full of drugs and two sketchy ass men._ _

__

__He could honestly cry._ _

__

__He glanced at the rearview to see Chan staring at him._ _

__

__“What?”_ _

__

__“You look familiar.” The assistant admitted, frowning._ _

__

__“Well I’m positively sure I had never met you before because if I did, I probably would’ve ran in the opposite direction.” Seungkwan said stiffly._ _

__

__It was Minghao’s turn to laugh now as he threw his head back letting out a laugh that was the complete opposite of his personality. “Y’know you kind of got a smart ass mouth for someone who I thought would've peeing in their pants by now.”_ _

__

__“Oh trust me I’m definitely scared.” Seungkwan snarled. He’s beyond scare, he’s straight up terrified. He pulled out his phone scrolling through his contacts._ _

__

__Minghao eyed him suspiciously. “Yo who you calling.”_ _

__

__“None of your business.” Seungkwan snapped. “You see me ,unlike you, have people who care about me.”_ _

__

__He’s starting to wonder if he’s asking for himself to get murder with the way the other man is looking at him._ _

__

__“Fine.” Minghao said coldly._ _

__

__Seungkwan dialed the number. He can still feel Minghao’s eyes on him._ _

__

__“Hello” Joshua answered._ _

__

__“Hey J-.” he had to stop himself because he almost said his name. “Hey it’s me. My mother just called me about an emergency. I won’t be home until morning so do you mind staying with him just for this one night?”_ _

__

__“Of course I don’t mind, Try to make it home safe.”_ _

__

__“Ok, thank you.” he hung up to find Minghao was still staring at him._ _

__

__“What?” he asked shortly._ _

__

__Minghao tearing his eyes away from him. “Pull up right there.” he demanded pointing to a broken down warehouse._ _

__

__Seungkwan did as he said, however Minghao didn't get out of the car, instead he held out his hand. “Gimme your phone.”_ _

__

__“What? No.” Seungkwan protested. Minghao pulled out his gun pointing it directly at his chest._ _

__

__“Don’t make me have to repeat myself.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan gulped as he handed the man his phone. Minghao then leaned in taking the keys out of the ignition._ _

__

__“I’ll be taking these too.” he tauntingly jangled the keys in Seungkwan’s face._ _

__

__The two men got out, making their way towards the warehouse leaving Seungkwan there alone. He is contemplating jumping out of this car and running but he probably won’t get far without these maniacs tracking him down._ _

__

__So here he is- sitting and waiting. He crossed his arms to stop his body from trembling._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__30 minutes later, Minghao and Chan left the warehouse. They got back inside the car._ _

__

__“Y’know that was a stupid thing for you to do.” Minghao scolded at Chan. “You almost messed up everything.”_ _

__

__“Hey the guy could’ve given us more, we only got half of the money when we should’ve got the whole thing.”_ _

__

__“So you think threatening to kill him would have helped? Do you forget this was supposed to be a simple drug run.”_ _

__

__“Kinda ironic coming from a man who literally kills people for a living.”_ _

__

__Minghao doesn’t retort, handing Seungkwan his car keys back. “There’s a motel that isn’t far from here.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan snatched the keys out of his hand. The rain is still coming down hard by the time they make it to the most depressing motel Seungkwan has ever seen._ _

__

__Minghao and Chan get out of the car however they notice Seungkwan is still sitting inside the car with his arms crossed._ _

__

__“We're here.” Minghao said, yet the younger man doesn’t respond._ _

__

__Minghao walked around and yanked open the car door grabbing a fistful of the man’s hair. Seungkwan shrieked in pain as he’s being dragged out of the car._ _

__

__“Did I fucking slutter.” Minghao growled, roughly shaking his hair. He released his grip causing the other to fall to the ground. “You really have a hard time fucking listening, don’t you.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan gathered himself from the ground, moist on the corner of his eyes._ _

__

__“Like I said we're here.” Minghao declared coldly, turning away from Seungkwan._ _

__

__< >_ _

__Minghao and Chan shared a room while Seungkwan was left all by himself in the twin bedded room next door. The room is disgusting with a questionable smell. Without his phone or keys, Seungkwan felt defeated as curled up in a ball on the bed._ _

__

__Sleep proved to be hard as he kept tossing and turning on the bed that’s probably hasn’t been clean in decades. He sits up sighed in frustration. No he’s not about to stay here. He has to get out of here right now. Throwing back the moley looking bedsheets, he got up walking to the door._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__He silently opens up the door peering inside to see the two men asleep. He tiptoed over to Chan’s bed quietly picking up his phone from the nightstand however he didn't see the keys. He moved on to Minghao’s bed checking the nightstand and seeing they were not there. A small pit of dread crept into his stomach knowing only one place they could be. He leaned in with his face extremely close to Minghao, the man’s breath hitting his face. He slowly reached into Minghao’s pants pocket being careful because if he made one small mistake- he might end up six feet under. Seungkwan kept his attention on Minghao’s face while rummaging around. For one frightening moment he could’ve sworn he saw Minghao’s eyes flutter but he assumed he was imagining things. Hitching his breath, he managed to get the keys out and slowly backed away._ _

__

__He didn’t waste a minute as he hurried down the stairs into the parking lot getting into the car. He let out a sigh of relief inserting the key into the ignition._ _

__

__He was finally getting away from the crazy hitman and his much crazier assistant- for now._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so in this chapter Minghao mention that Chan got into a fight at a bar and got stabbed.
> 
> In Chapter 22 when Mingyu left Seungwan and Hansol's place he saw someone stumbling down the street bleeding ... that was Chan. So I guess that solves one of the many mysteries in this fic.


	42. Chapter 42

*** **January 5, 2008** ***

_Seungkwan is standing slightly clutching his lunchtray in his hands. Lunch time- the biggest challenge for any new or transfer student. The cafeteria is quite full with students messing around with each other or being louder than usual. Seungkwan can feel his knees start to unbuckle. If he sat alone, that would make him an immediate target of bullying._

_“Seungkwan.” A similar voice said from his left side. Seungkwan turned his head to see Youngjae waving a hand beckoned him over to his table where there were four boys sitting._

_Seungkwan hurried over sitting on Youngjae’s right side. “Hey.”_

_“Are you finding your classes alright?” Youngjae asked with a wide grin._

_Seungkwan nodded. “Yeah your advice really helped.”_

_“No probs.”Youngjae said. “These are my friends, Jaebeom, Mark , Jinyoung and Jackson.” he pointed at each of them._

_The boys greeted him for which Seungkwan did the same._

_“Guys, this is Boo Seungkwan the transfer student and super smart guy I told you about.”_

_Seungkwan blushed at the fact Youngjae has mentioned him to his friends. “I told you I’m not that smart.” he mumbled._

_“Don’t be modest dude.” Youngjae clapped him on the back( Seungkwan can feel the butterflies in his stomach.)_

_“What year are you in?” Mark asked him._

_“I’m a junior.” Seungkwan replied._

_Jinyoung frowned. “But you look so young, what are you like 15.”_

_“Uh yeah.” Seungkwan hesitated . The four boys' eyes widened._

_Mark whistled. “Well shit, that’s impressive.” the other boys agreed with him._

_Seungkwan feels a little shy at the spotlight on him. Eventually the conversation drifted away into Mark ranting about college applications that left Seungkwan to let his eyes wander around the cafeteria. Amidst the rowdy students are three boys sitting at a table on the far left side of the cafeteria. It’s the appearance of one of them that caught his attention the most. He had pink hair that clashed drastically with his deep emerald uniform. Honestly the three looked like they just walked off the runway instead of being high school students._

_“Ah I see you you found the psycho 3.” Jackson remarked following Seungkwan’s line of sight to the table._

_“Do you really have to call them that.” Youngjae reprimanded while Mark, Jinyoung and Jaebeom laughed._

_Jackson snorted. “C’mon are you telling me that you don’t believe those rumors about them.”_

_“Yeah especially after what they did last year to Bambam.” Jaebeom chimed in. “I ain’t never forgiving them. Fucking weirdos.”_

_“We don’t even know if they were involved.” Youngjae stated. “Also rumors are just that...rumors, so we can drop this.”_

_Seungkwan who was listening didn’t understand anything and was itching to ask but he knew better. Suddenly the three boys from the say table walked past their own table. Seungkwan and the pink haired one make brief eye contact for a second before he looked down at his tray._

_Maybe his mind is playing tricks with him or he could've sworn the pink haired boy just winked at him. ___

__

__***_ _

__

__“Yo I realize something.” Chan said while toweling off his hair._ _

__

__“That you can’t shoot straight if your life depended on it.” Minghao muttered while tying his shoes._ _

__

__Chan ignored that comment instead he continued. “I know where I remembered that guy...it’s Boo Seungkwan, the heir to Boo Pharmaceuticals.”_ _

__

__Minghao straightened up, brows raised. “You better not be shitting with me.”_ _

__

__“Dude I’m dead serious, I read somewhere that he’s sitting on a 140 million won fortune. It’s like we literally hit the jackpot.”_ _

__

__Minghao held up a hand. “I know where you are heading with this and no we’re not doing that.”_ _

__

__“C’mon hyung why not.” Chan whined. He only uses the ‘hyung card’ because he knows in most cases it would help but not in this one. “He’s already here with us.”_ _

__

__“We’re about not about to torture him. Have you lost your mind?”_ _

__

__“Okay what do you suggest we do with him?” Chan asked, arms crossed._ _

__

__“Nothing.” Minghao replied. “There’s nothing we can do..for now.”_ _

__

__Chan grunted. He may not agree with Minghao’s methods most times but he does respect him nevertheless._ _

__

__“We should get going.” Minghao said. He put a hand in his pocket but the keys weren’t there. That’s funny because he could’ve sworn he put them in here last night. He checked the other pocket that was also empty._ _

__

__“Everything ok?” Chan asked._ _

__

__“I can’t find the car keys.” he began, then a realization drew on his face. No he didn’t. He slowly turned to Chan._ _

__

__“Do you still have Seungkwan’s phone?”_ _

__

__“Of course I do why wouldn-“ Chan stopped when he saw the empty nightstand, eyes widened._ _

__

__They looked at each other in horror and ran out of the room. Minghao banged on Seungkwan’s door when he didn’t get a response; he tugged at the door that was already open._ _

__

__The room was empty._ _

__

__That’s when they hurried down the stairs into the parking lot and sure enough the car was gone too._ _

__

__“Fuck.” Minghao screamed into the empty parking lot._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Seungkwan shut the door behind him and leaned his back against it taking deep breaths._ _

__

__“Seungkwan?”_ _

__

__He jumped at the sound of his name putting a hand to his chest. It’s Joshua who just came out of the kitchen._ _

__

__“You're back early. Is your Mom okay?” Joshua asked him._ _

__

__“Huh? Oh yes she’s fine. It wasn’t a real emergency after all. She needed help picking out colors for curtains she’s considering buying. That woman I swear.” Seungkwan let out a fake giggle._ _

__

__“Oh ok.” Joshua had a feeling Seungkwan was lying to him but he didn’t push any further._ _

__

__“Where’s Hansol?”_ _

__

__“He’s still asleep. I mean it’s only 6:30 am. I was just about to make breakfast.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan waved a hand. “There’s no need for you to do that I can take over from here.”_ _

__

__“Are you sure?” The therapist asked, a hint of concern in his voice. “Because I don’t mind.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan plastered a smile. “Yes yes you already done enough and I appreciate it. I got it from here.”_ _

__

__Even though Seungkwan says everything is ok that didn't prevent Joshua from worrying about the younger man._ _

__

__Especially with everything he knows about Seungkwan’s past._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__The paranoia doesn’t kick in until the next day. Seungkwan is scared. Scared that any minute Minghao is going to show up to the apartment to finish him off. He started asking Joshua if he could take trips to the grocery store and other places using the excuse he wasn’t feeling good. Technically he wasn’t lying because the dread in his stomach kept growing and growing. He spends nights tossing and turning having horrific dreams about his bloody body being found in a ditch. He got startled easily by small noises or when sitting at the kitchen table he kept his fidgeting hands on his lap._ _

__

__On Thursday night, there’s a knock on the door. Seungkwan froze. This was it, they found him. They're gonna kill him._ _

__

__“I-I got it.” Seungkwan said over his shoulder. With every step he took, his heartbeat increased. He squeezed his eyes shut with a trembling hand on the knob preparing to be met with a gun. Instead standing in the doorway is no other than Wonwoo._ _

__

__“Wonwoo.” Seungkwan said, surprised. “What are you doing here?”_ _

__

__Wonwoo rubbed the back of his neck. “I was wondering if we could talk.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan crossed his arms. Despite everything that’s been happening recently he hasn’t forgotten about how the older man lied. Nonetheless he closed the apartment door leaving them outside in the hallway._ _

__

__“I’m listening.”_ _

__

__“I just wanna say I’m sorry.” Wonwoo began. “After the whole kiss thing , that’s when I learned from colleagues about the rumors that were going around about us. I knew it was wrong to throw you under the bus but I panicked. Then the guilt started to consume me and that’s when I went back to the executives and told them the truth and how you weren’t involved in none of it. They agreed to drop the investigation and it should be all clear for you to go back to work on Monday.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan doesn’t say anything for a couple of minutes. Finally he said “At least you realize you made a mistake and came here personally to tell me. What’s going to happen with you? Are you coming back to work too? “_ _

__

__“Unfortunately no.” Wonwoo slightly smiled at him. “I requested for an extended personal leave this would at least give me the chance to spend more time with my girls. Good night Seungkwan.”_ _

__

__“Good night, Wonwoo.” Before he could go back into the apartment he’s stopped by Wonwoo who asked him one more thing._ _

__

__“Eh, Seungkwan I know it’s too soon to be asking this but I was wondering if we could still be friends?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan looked over his shoulder at the man. “Let me think about it first.” he said calmly._ _

__

__Wonwoo nodded. “Of course.” he turned on his heels and walked to the elevators._ _

__

__Seungkwan watched as the elevator door closed and he twisted the knob going back into the apartment._ _

__

__“Who was that ?” Hansol asked, placing silverware on the table._ _

__

__“Uh, Wonwoo. He came by to tell me my suspension was lifted and I can go back to work on Monday.”_ _

__

__“I still don’t understand why you were suspended in the first place.” Hansol said. While he was busy getting more spoons, Seungkwan and Joshua exchanged a look because they both knew the truth but telling Hansol could cause him to get angry and relapse._ _

__

__And that was something both of them definitely didn’t want to happen._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__When Monday approached, Seungkwan was standing in the mirror tying and untying his tie for what seemed like the hundredth time._ _

__

__“Y’know if you need help, you could easily ask.” Hansol said from the doorway watching in amusement._ _

__

__“I know how to tie a tie for your information.” Seungkwan countered, trying again unsuccessfully. Hansol clicked his tongue walking forward until he’s right in front of the other. This gives Seungkwan time to stare at the details of his face. These past weeks have really improved Hansol; he longer looked on the verge of death and there was color coming back to his cheeks. He looked like the youthful man he met five years ago._ _

__

__“There.” Hansol said, he looks at Seungkwan. There was silence as they stared at each other. Seungkwan licked his lips, taking a step back._ _

__

__He cleared his throat. “Yeah uh thanks.”_ _

__

__“Right um Seungkwan I wanted to ask you something.” Hansol twisted his fingers. “My first AA meeting is Tuesday and I was wondering if you come with me as moral support but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” he added quickly._ _

__

__Seungkwan thinks for a minute. It wouldn’t be right to say no seeing how far Hansol has come. “What time is it?”_ _

__

__Hansol relaxed his shoulders. “8:00 pm.”_ _

__

__“Then expect me to be there. Now I have to get going.” Seungkwan walked past him._ _

__

__“Seungkwan.” Hansol paused. “Thanks.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan looked back at him with a slight smile at him. “No problem.”_ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__For days since the incident, Seungkwan hadn’t left the apartment in fear of the danger that lurked outside in every corner. He walked down the stairs of the apartment complex and practically speed walking  
to his car. Once he’s inside he lets out a sigh of relief feeling safe. Just as a precaution he twisted around- no one is there. The only thing he has to deal with now is this day going by smoothly without anything happening. _ _

__

__Seungkwan stepped off the elevator on his floor heading to his office. A couple of people greeted him along the way. Even the looks and whispers had somehow stopped which had Seungkwan wondering if Wonwoo was behind that._ _

__

__He opened the door to his office and turned on the lights. Everything looked the same as last time. The beginning of the day went by normal as usual. He typed up a few reports. Filled numbers from last year’s earnings. By the time lunchtime came around, Seungkwan debated on rather to call for delivery until he made the decision that he can’t keep living in fear- this isn’t healthy for him. He decided to go to the cafe that’s only a couple blocks away. On his way he stopped by Jun’s office since he hasn’t talked to his friend in awhile. He was about to knock on the door when he heard Jun’s voice on the other side. He slightly opens the door to see Jun’s back to him, phone pressed against his ear._ _

__

__“I already did my part so I don’t understand their involvement in all of this. This is taking too long and I need that money now.” Jun spat. “Fine whatever.” he hung up angrily kicking the wastebasket._ _

__

__Seungkwan tapped on the door. “Who got you all pissy.” he asked jokingly._ _

__

__Jun’s frustrated face switched to a surprised one at the sight of Seungkwan. “Kwannie.” he leaped over tackling his friend into a tight hug. “You’re back.”_ _

__

__“Yeah.” Seungkwan said, patted his back. “So I’m heading to the cafe, wanna come with me?”_ _

__

__“I wish but as you can see.” Jun gestured towards the pile of folders sitting on top of his desk. “Got a shit ton of work to do.” he added miserably._ _

__

__“Aw that sucks. Is she really that bad.” Seungkwan asked ,perched himself on the edge of the desk._ _

__

__“She’s like a female version of Wonwoo.” Jun chortled. “But like more stern and not pleasant to look at. Speaking of Wonwoo...do you know why he left anyway?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan gripped the edge of the desk. “No idea.” he lied. A little voice in the back of his head is telling him it wouldn’t be a good idea to tell Jun the real reason._ _

__

__“Oh there have been mumblings going around the office but a lot of them sound far fetched to me.”he shrugged. “Wish he would hurry up so the dragon lady can go back to her cave.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan snorted getting off the desk. “I’ll bring you back some food to cheer you up.” he reassured him._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__The cafe is unusually crowded today compared to other days. Seungkwan is waiting in the long line tapping his foot impatiently. He looked out the corner of eyes at customers lounging around. He crossed his arms tightly across his chest to help calm down the nervousness in him. Can this line hurry up, he thought. The noise and the people had him feel like he was being suffocated inside a tight bottle. His breathing is becoming quick and shallow. It would be embarrassing to have a panic attack right here in this cafe. There’s a tap on his shoulder that startled Seungkwan so hard that customers gave him confused stares._ _

__

__“The line is moving.” A elder lady said behind him._ _

__

__“Sorry.” Seungkwan mumbled, feeling embarrassed that he was the cause of the holdup. He moved forward after two more customers, he was at the front counter ordering a salad for him and a sandwich for Jun._ _

__

__When he arrived back at the office, he locked himself inside his office and drew the curtains back. His appetite suddenly disappeared as he laid the fork down on the desk, sighing. Four more hours and he would finally be off until he has to deal with the same ordeal the next day and the day after and so forth._ _

__

__His phone vibrated. He checked to see who it is and of course if this wasn’t already a fucked up day :_ _

__

__**Unknown: You can try escaping him but no one can hide from The Chameleon** _ _

__

__Seungkwan blinked at the message. Any other time he would think whoever this is is just bullshitting but this time it felt like the message had a haunted underlying behind it._ _

__

__He quickly put his phone back down on the desk._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__5:00 pm rolled around, the night sky scattered with stars. It was times like these he wished it was still light outside as he walked to his car through the parking garage. All he gotta do is make it to his car and he would be alright at least that’s what he keeps mentally telling himself._ _

__

__Suddenly a rag covered his mouth and filled his nostril with a chemical that had him blackened out._ _

__

__When he wakes up he realizes he’s tied to a chair by rope and his hands are bound with tape behind him. He frantically squirmed in the chair. The room he’s being held in seemed oddly familiar like he’s been here before. That’s when the realization drew on him- he knows exactly what this place is._ _

__

__He can hear footsteps. Emerging from the beaded curtains are a gleeful Chan and a eerily calm Minghao._ _

__

__“Did you really think you could get away from us and we wouldn’t find you.” Minghao said quietly looming over him, staring down at the restrained man._ _

__

__“No i-“ Seungkwan spluttered, whole body trembling. He let out a yelp of pain when Minghao grabbed his hair bending his neck back to the ceiling._ _

__

__“Chan can you hand me the bottle from the table.”_ _

__

__The assistant bounced forward with the tiny bottle in his hand. He handed it to Minghao who leaned in close to Seungkwan’s ear._ _

__

__“Did you know what this is.” he murmured, jangling the bottle in front of Seungkwan’s eyes. “I’m sure you do, it's sulfuric acid. It’s not like the usual one used in household products oh no this shit is powerful and lethal. One little drop and your whole eye socket would completely burn off, is that what you want?”_ _

__

__“No no no please don’t .” Seungkwan whimpered speaking to the ceiling._ _

__

__Minghao bent his neck back more so that Seungkwan could feel his Adam’s apple about to split. “If you pull that shit like you did at the motel, I won’t be so merciful the next time.” he growled._ _

__

__He roughly lets go of Seungkwan’s hair, sending him forward in the chair._ _

__

__“Untie him and you, get the fuck out of my sight.” Minghao said coldly._ _

__

__A disappointed Chan came forward and once the rope was off and his hands were no longer bound, Seungkwan didn’t waste a minute getting the hell out of that place._ _

__

__Seungkwan learned three things in life:_ _

__1- Don’t run with scissors in your hand._ _

__2- Don’t touch the top surface of a stove or you will burn your hand._ _

__

__3- The one he would learn today….never ever get on the bad side of a hitman._ _


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:// attempted rape 
> 
> Please read with caution.

*** **January 23, 2008** *** 

_The weeks passed in a blur and Seungkwan no longer felt like the new guy- all thanks to Youngjae. Seungkwan and Youngjae’s friendship blossomed even more especially when the latter surprised Seungkwan on his birthday with a small cake in the cafeteria. It might have been a simple gesture yet he was genuinely touched by how much Youngjae seemed to care about him._

_It came to no surprise that Seungkwan and Youngjae would eventually end up dating after two weeks. Seungkwan wished he would’ve transferred to Greenwood Academy sooner considering the fact Youngjae would be graduating in April and Seungkwan would be starting his senior year in August. There’s no point in thinking about that now, just enjoy these moments, Seungkwan thought._

_“If only Mr.Kang didn’t dock points away from that question.” Youngjae sighed._

_“Wasn’t it like only three points he took away?” Seungkwan asked, feeding his boyfriend a grape._

_“You don’t understand kwannie. Every point counts if I want to get into a good university.” he laid his head on Seungkwan’s chest._

_“And you would.” Seungkwan reassured him, toying with his hair._

_Youngjae twisted around to look at him. “You really think so?”_

_“I don’t think so.” Seungkwan replied, popping another grape into his mouth. “I know so.” he leaned in to press a kiss on Youngjae’s lips._

_Jackson is staring across the table at the couple with a disgusted look on his face. “They looked at each other with those lovey dovey eyes.” he stood up. “And I think fellas that’s our cue to go.”_

_Once the quartet is gone, that leaves the two lovebirds alone at the table. Seungkwan scooted closer to his boyfriend that he’s practically sitting on his lap._

_“I’m gonna miss you though.” Seungkwan pouted, throwing his arms around the senior’s neck._

_“But look on the bright side, I'm gonna have my own dorm which means.” he kissed Seungkwan again. “Some privacy for us”_

_“Hmmm can’t deny that does sound tempting.” Seungkwan breathed cupping Youngjae’s face in hands. He kissed him again trailing a hand down to his waist. He has a weird feeling that he’s being watched. Sure enough the boys from the table( do they always sit at the same table?) are looking directly at him. Now this should freak Seungkwan out yet in some odd way it doesn’t. With lips locked and eyes fixated on them, Seungkwan slowly trailed his hand on Youngjae’s back up to his hair. He deepens the kiss until Youngjae is the one to pull back._

_“Whoa as much as I like make outs, I don’t think doing it in a full cafeteria is a good idea. However my parents won’t be home until late so maybe we continue our little makeout session there.” Youngjae murmured into his ear._

_“Excuse me?” It’s one the boys from the table however it’s not the pink haired one. This time it’s a tall boy with honey toned skin and wavy black hair.Seungkwan is so shocked by how deep his voice sounded._

_“I think we’re in the same math class.” he began. “And uh I was wondering if you did last night’s homework because I forgot.” there’s a nervousness in his voice._

_Seungkwan reached for his bag and pulled out the homework and handed it to the tall boy. “Here.” he smiled._

_The boy seemed relieved giving Seungkwan a slight smile. “Thank you so much. I promise I’ll give it right back.”_

_The boy turned his head to Youngjae. “Oh hey Youngjae.”_

_Youngjae simply gave the boy a cold glare. “Mingyu.” he nodded curtly. The smile on Mingyu’s fell right off as he backed away._

_“Uhm thanks again.” he grumbled, clutching the paper in his hand as he turned around to walk back to his table._

_Seungkwan slid off his boyfriend’s lap right back into his chair. “What was that?”_

_“What was what?”_

_“Why did you look like you wanted to punch him?”_

_Youngjae sighed. “Listen I know Jackson was overdramatic when he called them psychos but I can’t deny the fact there is something off about those three. My advice is to stay away from them as much as possible.”_

_Seungkwan wanted to laugh. “C’mon they look so innocent.”_

_“Kwannie I’m being serious.” Youngjae said. “Those are the type of guys you definitely don't hang around with or even want to be friends with.”_

_Seungkwan waved a hand. “Okay okay I’ll stay away from them if that gets that frown off your handsome face.”_

_“Good.” Youngjae got up and leaned down to give him a swift kiss. “Gotta get to class now.”_

_Seungkwan collected the two empty trays from the table. He glanced at the trio._

_He would soon learn avoiding those three would become almost impossible. ___

__

__***_ _

__

__“Can you believe this? People are complaining that ``The Secrets We Keep is too violent.” Eunwoo stated, scrolling through his phone reading reviews. “My movie is too violent like seriously oh listen to this motherfucker “Cha Eunwoo is trying too hard to follow in the footsteps of critically acclaimed actor Kim Mingyu. Um hello I’m the one who taught that lanky bastard everything to know about acting.” he said loudly to his screen before throwing the phone down on the couch in frustration._ _

__

__“Well what were you expecting? I mean they’re aren’t wrong though.” Jaehyun said, absentmindedly scrolling through his own phone. “The movie is graphic as hell but that was the whole point of making it in the first place.”_ _

__

__Eunwoo raised a brow. “You do realize I care about my acting career too. I don’t want people to think I’m only capable of making only shock value films.”_ _

__

__“Look at the bright side...at least you made Seungkwan scared and that was worth it in my opinion.” Jaehyun got up shoving his phone in his pocket. “Anyway I gotta go.”_ _

__

__“Where are you going?” Eunwoo asked._ _

__

__Jaehyun leaned down and kissed the other on the forehead using a thumb to stroke his cheek. “Now you know I can’t tell you.” he smirked, straightening up. “I’ll be back.” he turned and left._ _

__

__Eunwoo sighed. If there's one thing Jaehyun is good at is being secretive as hell._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__“Are you ready?” Seungkwan sticks his head in the room._ _

__

__Hansol awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “Uhm yeah I guess. Actually no I’m not ready.” It’s his first AA meeting and being in a room full of strangers talking about his drinking history is making him anxious._ _

__

__Seungkwan sits by him on the bed. “Well look at this point, you’re taking a huge step towards gaining control of yourself again and in my opinion that’s a remarkable step indeed. Besides there will be other people in that room who are experiencing what you are going through so there’s no need to be nervous, okay.” he gives the other’s thigh a quick reassuring squeeze._ _

__

__Hansol can feel the butterflies in his stomach at the touch. It’s been awhile since him and Seungkwan have been this close to each other. Seungkwan must have sensed the same thing because he jumped up from the bed, a slight blush on his face._ _

__

__“Okay well I’ll be in the car waiting.” he muttered walking out the room._ _

__

__Hansol stayed sitting on the bed for a few more minutes until he realized he has to face his problems if he wants to get better. Sighing he got up walking out of the bedroom._ _

__

__AA meetings are held in one of the rooms in the back of the church. Chairs are set up in a circle in the middle of the room with a few chairs set up outside of the circle just a couple feet away for those who came as support. There are already a few people inside mingling around._ _

__

__“Hello.” A man with black hair and tanned skin approached them holding out a hand. “I’m Choi Siwon, counselor.” he said with a kind smile._ _

__

__Hansol shook his hand. “Yeah uh I’m the one here for help.” he mumbled._ _

__

__“It’s okay, no need to feel ashamed. This is a no judgement zone. We’re about to start the meeting.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan took a seat in one of the chairs outside of the circle._ _

__

__“Everyone.” Siwon began. “We have a new member, Hansol.”_ _

__

__“Hello Hansol.” warm voices greeted him._ _

__

__“Do you think you feel comfortable enough to share why you are here? Of course you don’t have to.”_ _

__

__Hansol rubbed his arm. He always tried to hide this side of him for so long- the vulnerable side but knowing Seungkwan is here gives him a little confidence. Taking a deep breath he began. “So yeah my name is Hansol Vernon Chwe and I’m a recovering alcoholic. It all started when I was 11 years old and my parents separated. Constantly going back and forth from New York to South Korea every other week took a toll on me mentally so that’s when I snuck into my dad’s alcohol cabinet and stole a bottle of rum. That’s when I started using drinking as a way to solve my problems only I didn’t realize it was doing the opposite. I got into trouble at school often- fights and skipping classes just to get drunk with a couple of classmates. But I didn’t care because I kept on and on. Drinking eventually ruined my relationship with my father who kicked me out after I graduated high school. That’s when things spiraled out of control. I partied literally every day, waking up in a different bed. Not giving a shit about anything just as long I had a bottle in my hand. A couple years later I met this amazing guy and for the first time it felt like I didn’t need to depend on Alcohol. Of course I did still drink but it was in like moderation, I never wanted him to see that side of me but t-then I hurted him. I hurted the only person who cared about me. I started to drink to the point I wanted to die. But I don’t wanna feel like that anymore. I wanna change. Shit I really shared a lot for a first meeting, huh.” he mumbled, feeling embarrassed._ _

__

__“No of course you didn’t. You probably kept all of that bottle up inside of you for so long. The first step in recovery is realization and determination.” Siwon said._ _

__

__Hansol nodded. He sat back down. He feels a little better after letting all of that out._ _

__

__Once the meeting is over, the car ride back to the apartment is quiet as Hansol is staring out of the window. Seungkwan kept help but thought about what he heard back there. He never realized there was more to just Hansol drinking. Listening to him telling his story had Seungkwan wondering if one day he would be confident enough to tell Hansol what he did as a teenager._ _

__

__When they got home, Seungkwan went into the guest room to get ready for bed. Afterward he stopped by Hansol’s room to check on the other. He was about to open up the door when he heard a sob from the other side. Opening the door a millimeter to see Hansol sitting on the edge of the bed facing the window, crying. Seungkwan felt the urge to comfort him but then he decided Hansol needed this moment to himself. He silently closed the door going back to his room._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Hansol’s progress is going so well that Joshua is even a little surprised. It became a routine for the two men to prepare dinner together, conversations in English. His first initial thought of Joshua was of a stiffly goody two shoes smart prick but he’s the complete opposite of that. He’s cool ,maybe a little corny at times, but all in good nature._ _

__

__The only person in the apartment who wasn’t happy was Seungkwan. Yes he’s proud of Hansol and how far he has come yet Seungkwan can’t find himself to be happy._ _

__

__He felt empty and he isn’t sure why. There were days where he didn’t have the motivation to get out of bad. Or he would burst out crying for no reason. He kept these things hidden from Joshua because seeing that the therapist is already doing enough, he didn’t want to put more worries on the man._ _

__

__Maybe he just needed to leave the apartment for a bit and get some fresh air. He can hear chattering coming from the kitchen. Hansol and Joshua are busy so they probably won’t notice he left for a couple of minutes. So he grabbed his coat and left._ _

__

__Seungkwan opted not to drive. He casually walked down the street. He liked Seoul the most at night with the bright lights emitting from the tall buildings in the distance. Suddenly he gets this feeling to do something. He doesn’t know what exactly but he just wants to do anything._ _

__

__That’s how he ended up walking in the direction of loud music blasting-it was as if the music was calling to him. The entrance of the nightclub is empty as he pulls open the door to find the place is crowded with red and pink lights bouncing off in every direction. He walked further in, club goers sloppily grinding up against each other while an upbeat techno is playing in the background. Seungkwan slipped off his coat tossing it into the air as he made his way to the dance floor. He wouldn’t say he’s an experienced dancer but he’s not a bad one either. He rocked his hips to the sudden change in the beat of the song that became slow. He threw his head back letting the music overtake time._ _

__

__He froze momentarily when a pair of hands snaked around his waist._ _

__

__“Mind if I join you?” he mumbled into Seungkwan’s ear. Seungkwan twisted around to be met face to face with a handsome man who had his blonde hair slicked back. He was wearing a button down red shirt open to reveal his pale chest. Seungkwan nodded as he turned back around grinding his ass on the other man’s crotch. The beat started to pick up again and the man pulled Seungkwan closer, letting one hand trail down his back. When the song is over with, Seungkwan can feel the sweat beading down his forehead, fanning himself with his hand._ _

__

__“Whew, I think I need some fresh air.” he stated, however the man still has a firm grip on his waist._ _

__

__“Um, excuse me, I need to step outside for a minute.” Seungkwan told him politely. He’s starting to get weird vibes from this guy who keeps staring at him._ _

__

__“Yeah sure.” The man smiled releasing his grip on him. “It is getting a little stuffy in here.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan turned to leave pushing the door open letting the cool air softly hit his face. Coming to this club was the most random thing he’s probably ever but he doesn’t regret it._ _

__

__“Hey.” The blonde haired man is approaching him. “Are you a dancer because you got some moves on you.”_ _

__

__“Uh no I just like to dance I guess.” Seungkwan replied, taking a step back. The man is back at it again looking him up and down with those pierce blue eyes like he did in the club. Overall it’s making Seungkwan extremely uncomfortable. “I should be heading home now, excuse me.”_ _

__

__He was about to walk past when he felt a strong grip on his wrist._ _

__

__“Home? Already c’mon the night is still young. Why don’t we head back to my place and you can show me more of your dance moves.” The man said, lips curving into an evil smile._ _

__

__“No...that’s okay.” Seungkwan can feel sheer panic. “C-can you please let me go, I need to get home.”_ _

__

__“Don’t be scared.” He pulled Seungkwan closer to him. “I don’t bite.”_ _

__

__“I don’t care, let me go.” Seungkwan steps down on the man’s foot. He lets out a shout of pain but before Seungkwan can even get away, the man recovers and now has a vice like grip on Seungkwan’s arm dragging him to the alleyway behind the club._ _

__

__“W-what are you doing stop.” Seungkwan shrieked, eyes widened in horror. “Someone he-” he’s cut off by a hand being pressed on his mouth. The man pinned him against the wall putting his hands above his head._ _

__

__“What the fuck is your problem, you little bitch.” The man growled. “I was trying to be nice but I guess you wanna be stubborn so now you have to learn the hard way.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan is violently jerking as he can feel his pants being tugged down._ _

__

__“Stay still, will you.” The man said, unbuckling his own pants._ _

__

__Tears are falling down Seungkwan’s face. He was so stupid to come here. He should’ve just stayed at home and this wouldn’t be happening to him. His underwear is being pulled down next and as he bracing for the worst, there’s a loud bang and the man is sprawled out on the ground, blood leaking down on his face from the bullethole in his forehead._ _

__

__Standing a feet away is Minghao who lowered the gun back to his side. There’s silence until Seungkwan realizes he’s standing there with the lower part of his body still exposed. He clumsily pulled his underwear and pants back up._ _

__

__Minghao spoke. “Let’s get some ice cream.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan blinked stupidly. “H-huh?”_ _

__

__“You heard me c’mon.” he turned to leave and as much as Seungkwan found the request to be weird nonetheless he followed the other man._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Seungkwan is stirring the chocolate ice cream around in the bowl. Neither of them has said anything since they arrived here. Not being to take the silence anymore he finally spoke._ _

__

__“You didn’t have to kill him.” Seungkwan whispered._ _

__

__Minghao rolled his eyes. “So I guess I was suppose to stand there and let him rape you, is that what you’re trying to tell me.”_ _

__

__“No it’s just that- I mean-.” he closed his mouth not sure what he was trying to say instead he got up. “I don’t have time for this, I’m leaving.”_ _

__

__Once outside he forgot he left his coat back inside the club and there was no way he was going back to that place._ _

__

__“I can give you a lift back to your place.” Minghao called out to him._ _

__

__“That’s ok I’m fine.” Seungkwan said as he continued walking to the bus stop. He settled down on the bench._ _

__

__“Fine I’ll wait with you.” Minghao said sitting down by him on the bench. He can feel the other slightly shaking holding his arms close to his chest._ _

__

__“You’re cold.” he said quietly, taking his jacket. “Here put this on.”_ _

__

__“I’m not cold.” Seungkwan lied, his bottom lip is trembling, moist forming on the corners of his eyes. The warm material is draped over his shoulder and that’s when he let it out. The tears fell like waterfalls and after a couple of minutes once he subdued he wiped his eyes. “I’m surprised you haven’t made a smart remark like I’m a big baby or something.”_ _

__

__They watched as the red and blue lights of police cars speeded past them in the direction of the nightclub._ _

__

__“If you think I’m going to apologize for killing him, I’m not.” Minghao said softly. “But I do apologize for threatening you. With what I do for a living, sometimes I forget how to be a decent human being.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan laughed bitterly. “Do decent human beings even exist in this world.”_ _

__

__Minghao doesn’t reply._ _

__

__Seungkwan’s phone is buzzing in his pocket. A slight guilt in his stomach looking at the dozen messages and missed calls from Joshua. With everything that happened tonight he forgot that it’s late and Joshua is probably wondering where he is at since he just left the apartment without telling him anything. He sent a quick text explaining that he’ll be home soon._ _

__

__The bus was approaching and Seungkwan got up handing the jacket back to Minghao._ _

__

__“Here, thank you.”_ _

__

__“No keep it.” Minghao smiled. Seungkwan didn’t even think he was capable of smiling yet there he was with a genuine smile on his face that made him look handsome._ _

__

__Seungkwan simply nodded as he got on the bus sitting in the back. He leaned his head on the cool window clutching the rugged jacket tightly to him. He sniffed it and it had a nice lavender smell._ _

__

__He never thought a simple piece of material can provide him with so much comfort._ _


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I''ve been getting questions about where is Mingyu. He is still part of this fic but he won't appear again until later chapters I promise. 
> 
> With that being said, here's a chapter briefly introducing probably one of my favorite characters in this fic

He always had the same dream. 

The sound of the gunshots, the two dead bodies laying on the floor and a little trembling boy crouching in a corner. And standing in the middle of the room is the devil himself in a blue suit. 

Only that wasn’t a dream. Those dead bodies were his parents, that little scared boy was Minghao and that ruthless man who stormed into their small apartment and shot his parents in cold blood would become his boss. 

Minghao was trained to be a child soldier for The Red Dragons- the most feared gang in China led by the notorious Zhang Yixing. He went through a vigorous training process so horrific that many people didn’t make it through or went insane. But not him though. By the time Minghao turned 15th, he already had 40 successful kills under his belt, a remarkable number for someone his age. His name started to go around in the gang world and soon would earn him the nickname “The Chameleon” because you knew his name but he was never seen. 

Being a member of The Red Dragons had him witnessed human beings being tortured in the most inhumane ways. He has seen bodies being burned alive, muitaled, organs ripped apart and other shit that probably would have definitely given you nightmares for months maybe years yet for Minghao it didn’t faze him one bit. 

Maybe his sympathy died the day his parents did. 

He’s drumming his fingers on the steering wheel staring at the bar across the street. He checked the time. 

5 minutes 

He sighed wishing time would hurry up. His next target is the leader of a small gang whose been dodging dues he owes to Yixing.

4 minutes

These types of jobs are ones that Yixing only entrusted to him. According to his words “No one else can do it better than you.” 

3 minutes 

He checked his gun to see how many bullets are there hoping he wouldn’t have to use it if things went smoothly. 

2 minutes

Knowing who he’s about to deal with, probably not.

1 minute 

He got out of his car walking across the street. The bar is empty save for the bartender cleaning empty glasses behind the counter and the obnoxious loud group of men gathered around in the middle, a cloud of cigarette smoke is hanging over them. Right in the center of these idiots is leader Kang Sunjae. a pudgy face man with a little to no neck. 

Minghao slowly approached. “Sungjae.” 

The loudness stopped and heads turned in his direction. Sungjae crocked a brow at him. 

“Yes?” 

“I’m here to collect the dues you owe to LAY.” Minghao said quietly. 

Sungjae’s lips curved into a sneer. “What this is is he is downsizing at that pathetic excuse of a gang . I’m not paying shit to that ching chong dog eating bastard, tell him that.” The room erupted into vociferous laughter. 

Minghao sighed again. Why do people make things harder for themselves?

“Listen I only came here for the money. This doesn’t have to get violent.” he said calmly. 

The gang leader’s piglike sneer gets even wider. “A lot of talk for someone who's outnumbered, don’t you think?” He can’t believe the audacity of this scrawny guy coming into his territory acting like he’s not going to die in the next minute. 

Minghao shrugged. “Not really.” he mentally counted, estimating there are at least 30. 

“Let’s see about that.” Sungjae leered. 30 guns were pointed at Minghao who remained calm. He raised his own gun. 

20 seconds later after the gun smoke is clear, 30 men are laid out dead on the floor with Minghao dropping his gun back to side and a shell shocked Sungjae looking at him.

“H-how did you even…” he spluttered. 

Minghao advanced towards him, raised his gun again and pointed it directly at the man’s forehead. 

“You can’t say I didn’t warn you.” he said quietly, pulling the trigger watching blood splatter everywhere. 

He turned to leave slightly bowed in the direction of the completely shocked bartender. 

“Sorry for the mess.” Minghao told him softly. “My assistant would be here shortly to clean it up.” 

With that he walked out into the cold air.

<>

“You took out a gang. A whole fucking gang.” Chan exclaimed, eyes sparking with admiration. “What until everyone hears about this.” 

Minghao should be worried about his friend’s unusual fixation with violence yet again this is Chan and well Chan is Chan. 

He remembered the day he first met him. 

It was three years ago, Minghao was awakened by noise coming from the shop. He went downstairs to see a guy who looked like he was a couple years younger than him banging on the cash register trying to get it open up. Minghao asked him what was he doing in which the kid replied “What the fuck does it look like i’m doing I’m stealing.” Now if anyone else dared to speak to Minghao like that, they would’ve been dead on the spot, however he immediately took a liking to this cocky kid. Chan didn’t make it through the training process to become a Red Dragon. In order to spare his life, Minghao insisted on making Chan his assistant and their friendship has remained strong to this day. 

He inserted the key into the keyhole but the door is already unlocked and standing inside is a man leaned against the counter twirled a knife in between his fingers. 

The man grinned at them. “Ah the famous Xu Minghao. Do you know how long I’ve been trying to find you and it seems like my luck has finally struck.” 

Minghao crossed his arms, eyes narrowed. “And you are?” 

“My name is Jaehyun.” he said cheerily. “And I came here because I want to propose an offer,boys.” 

Minghao’s eyebrows rose. “So let me get this straight.. you broke into my store-“

“Our store.” Chan corrected him.

“ _Our store_ and you asked for a favor as if we were gonna accept.” Minghao bore his eyes into this Jaehyun guy with one hand in his pocket in case things went awry. 

“You should because what I have to offer involves a lucrative amount of money.” he slid a finger down the knife’s blade. “And a certain heir to a pharmaceutical company.” 

Minghao thinks for a minute knowing that Chan’s eyes are bored into him. 

“Okay what’s the offer?” 

Jaehyun placed the knife on the counter happily rubbing his hands together. 

“Glad you’re onboard. Okay so the plan….” 

<>

MInghao filled the kettle with water. Lately he’s been getting more jobs since his name is becoming more popular and the demand for his services is increasing.

Nonetheless, he’s tired. 

Before he could drop the teabag in the cup, his phone started buzzing . He checked to see the message and of course it’s another job. Well there goes his relaxation time. There’s a knock on his door and he let out a groan. 

Can people just leave him alone for a minute?

He opened the door to a spaced out Jeonghan, his thin coat slipped off his shoulders and he swayed back and forth in the doorway. 

“Haoie.” he slurred, clumsily brushing past Minghao flopped down on the couch picking up the pillow and holding it like it’s his newborn. “I miss youuuu.” he muttered, eyes closed.

“Why are you here?” 

“Because Cheollie isn’t there and I hate being alone.” he yawned, shirt lifted to reveal a newly bruised mark on his hip along with the other purple bruise littered on his pale body. 

Minghao gritted his teeth. He will never understand why the fuck Jeonghan keeps going back to that abusive asshole of a boyfriend, Choi Seungcheol- a member of The Stones, a mediocore street gang whose are basically a subdivisiary of another larger gang in South Korea. Everyone knows what Seungcheol does to Jeonghan but chose to turn a blind eye not wanting to get involved. Minghao isn’t sure what angered him more; the nights when the blonde showed up to his apartment face battered and bruised or the mornings when Seungcheol showed up to collect his boyfriend as if nothing happened. One time he offered to kill Seungcheol but Jeonghan vehemently refused saying that Seungcheol loved him and he loved Seungcheol. Jeonghan had an addiction to two things: heroin and Seungcheol and he wasn’t about to let go of both of those things no matter what anyone told him. 

So Minghao couldn’t do anything but let Jeonghan in as long as he didn’t shoot that shit up in his apartment. Minghao detested drugs with passion but he can’t control what people do with their bodies. 

Jeonghan has a big smile on his face staring at a blank TV screen. “Has everyone ever told you your place is so serenity I could stay here forever.” he laid on the couch stroking the fabric. 

“Okay well I have a job to take care of. There’s food in the fridge and I better not come back to all my shit stolen.” he shouted over his shoulder. 

<>

He scanned the nightclub from where he’s sitting looking for his merchandise and there he was surrounded by short dresses and heavily makeup women. Apparently the reason for this hit is because the man’s wife wants him out of her life so that she can run away with her much younger lover. She wants him killed in a specific way. Clients requested for merchandise to be killed in certain ways - some weird and some extremely gruesome. He had to wait until the man was alone because straight up killing him in front of a room full of crowded people is way too risky and not his style.

Opportunity presented itself when the man excused himself and headed to the restroom. That was Minghao’s cue as he followed him. The man is so busy fixing his hair in the mirror that he doesn’t see a figure standing behind him. Minghao pulls out the syringe in his pocket and plunges it into the side of the man’s neck. He collapsed on the floor, eyes wide and glassy. Minghao pocketed the syringe casually walking out of the bathroom.

Well that was easy.

He texted the woman to tell her the merchandise is fixed and she replied back saying he should expect the payment by morning. He decided to treat himself by ordering another drink. Taking a slip, he scanned the crowd of people dancing provocatively on each other and that’s when his eyes fell on a certain light brown haired man in the center of the dance floor.

_Boo Seungkwan_

Minghao can’t take his eyes off him dancing by himself, hips swaying back and forth to the beat of the song. He’s so enticed that he doesn’t notice the slick blonde haired man approaching Seungkwan from behind wrapping his hands around his waist. The blonde guy is whispering something into Seungkwan’s ear and now they’re dancing. Minghao frowned not because he’s bothered by the dancing but by the way this man is roaming his hands all over Seungkwan’s body practically groping him with a glint in his eyes that showed nothing but mischievous intentions. Minghao kept an eye on them and when the song ended, Seungkwan was saying something to the guy who still has his hands around him. Seungkwan leaves the club and the guy is still standing there until he leaves too. Seungkwan’s uncomfortable look is all Minghao needed to know as he slid off the stool walking towards the front door. His instinct was right as he heard voices from outside, he stood to the side of the wall listening: 

_“I don’t care, let me go.”_

Minghao peeked over and saw Seungkwan being dragged into the alleyway by the sneaky blonde. He got his gun out walking in that direction and what he saw made his blood boil, anger like any other filled inside himself. He didn’t hesitate as he raised his gun and pointed it in the back of the bastard’s head, pulling the trigger. Now it’s just him and Seungkwan, the latter is standing with his pants and underwear down and Minghao briefly let his eyes linger on the sight before he quickly averted his gaze to the wall behind Seungkwan. Seungkwan hurriedly pulled his pants up. 

“Let’s get some ice cream,” he said. Yes he’s fully aware that this is a weird ass thing to say to someone who almost got assaulted but he remembered when he committed his first kill at 8 years old and Yixing took him to an ice cream shop afterwards. He had green tea ice cream and being the foolish clueless boy he was happily ate it while Yixing watched him with a fond smile on his face.

Seungkwan is stabbing his ice cream with his spoon while Minghao well he doesn’t know what the hell to say. Being raised around violence for half of his life, he doesn’t know how to be compassionate. It wasn't like anyone taught him anyway. As a Red Dragon you taught the number one: Weakness is your enemy. Strength is your ally.

“You didn’t have to kill him.” 

Minghao blinked, not sure if he heard correctly. Is this guy really making it seem like it’s his fault for doing the right thing. “So I guess I was supposed to stand there and let him rape you, is that what you’re trying to tell me.”

He can see Seungkwan is struggling to find a way to respond back to that. Suddenly he got up. 

“I don’t have time for this, I’m leaving.” 

Minghao wanted to facepalm himself. He shouldn’t have said that. Stupid Stupid Stupid. He immediately got up following the other who was walking in the direction of the bus stop.

“I can give you a lift back to your place.”

Seungkwan doesn’t turn around as he keeps walking to the bus stop. “That’s ok I’m fine.” 

Minghao doesn’t know what compelled him to sit down next to this guy but he does. He can feel Seungkwan shivering beside him as he has his arms crossed tightly against his chest.

Minghao shrugged his jacket off. “You’re cold. Here put this on.”

“I’m not cold.” Seungkwan’s voice cracked and the tears came. Minghao draped the jacket over his shoulder as the other sobbed, body trembling. He bites the inside of his cheek. Shit he should at least provide some words of comfort to the crying guy but would have that been enough. So he stared straight ahead letting Seungkwan cry as much he wanted until the tears stopped as he wiped his eyes. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t made a smark like I’m a big baby or something.”

Of course Seungkwan would think that. He only saw Minghao as the hitman who forced him to make a drug run. As the man who held a gun to his chest and threatened to burn his eyes off. He saw Minghao the way everyone else did- the cruel and ruthless hitaman. Yet killing that bastard is one thing he doesn’t regret.

He said softly. “If you think I’m going to apologize for killing him, I’m not. But I do apologize for threatening you. With what I do for a living, sometimes I forget how to be a decent human being.”

Seungkwan laughed bitterly. “Do decent human beings even exist in this world.”

Minghao honestly doesn’t know how to answer that so he doesn’t. There’s silence until the sound of the bus approaching around from the corner. Seungkwan stood up holding the jacket out to him. 

“Here, thank you.” 

Minghao smiled. “No,keep it.” It’s almost as if he asked out the other on a date the way his eyes got big and to be honest Minghao is a little surprise. He can’t even remember a time he was smiling like this especially at someone else. A weird sensation crepts up in his stomach. 

He watched as the bus Seungkwan got on disappeared down the street. He stood up to head back to his car. Tonight was definitely an eventful one for him. 

<>

When he got home Jeonghan was fast asleep, a bruised arm dangling from the edge of the couch. Minghan tossed a blanket over the man and made his way to his bedroom. Once he’s laying on the bed, Seungkwan’s question is still echoing inside his head. 

_Do decent human beings even exist in this world?_

Minghao thought about his parents murdered right in front of him. The Red Dragons. The screams from people getting torture. The bloodless bodies. The pleas of mercy from his victims. Those thirty one gang members he killed. The bullethole in Sungjae’s forehead. Jeonghan’s bruised body. Jaehyun’s plan. How this plan would help Chan who is struggling to pay his grandma[‘s medical expenses. The guilt of what he is about to do to Seungkwan.

“No.” he muttered to himself, staring at the ceiling. “They don’t exist.”


	45. Chapter 45

*** May 5, 2008*** 

_“I’m so glad you’re okay with this, sweetie, I would admit I was a little nervous at first whether I should’ve told you especially at the time when you were still grieving over Youngjae.”_

_Seungkwan took hold of his mother’s hand giving it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay. As long as you are happy, I’m happy too.”_

_She smiled at him. “We're almost there.” she instructed the chauffeur to make a right turn._

_Three weeks earlier, Seungkwan’s mother told him she had been seeing someone. Apparently they were high school sweethearts and recently connecting again. Seungkwan was a little shocked at the news but he remembered how after his father’s death, he could see the loneliness in her eyes despite the strong facade she tried so hard to put up. He wanted his mother to be genuinely happy again._

_The car pulled up in front of a pizza place. The place is packed with kids running around and parents trying to get them under control. Teenagers are playing video games while others are just chilling. Seungkwan’s mother led him to a table in the back where two people were sitting. With them approaching, a tanned muscular man with black hair stood up swooping up Seungkwan’s mother in a hug._

_“Choi Seokju this is my son, Boo Seungkwan.”_

_Seokju extended a hand to the boy, smiling. “Glad to finally meet you. Your mother has been telling me so much about you.”_

_Seungkwan shook the strong hand. “Likewise.”_

_“Here’s my son, Seungcheol. “ he waved a wave towards the other person at the table. A young man in a black tank top with blue streaks in his black hair and an undercut. He had his tattooed arms crossed with an obvious bored expression on his face._

_Once everyone settled down at the table, the conversation turned to Seokju retelling an embarrassing story from high school that had his mother laughing in her signature laugh. Seungkwan missed her laugh so much, reminiscing the days when that laugh filled the house. Before his father’s cancer, when things were so simple._

_Seokju rummaging inside his pocket. “Hey why don’t you two go play some games while we wait for the food.”_

_Seungcheol took the bills and he and Seungkwan went to an unoccupied game. Seungcheol crouches down getting a bent looking knife from his back pocket. He’s wiggled the knife in between a small door._

_Seungkwan’s eyes widened. “What are you doing? You know that’s stealing, right.”_

_“Yeah no shit.” Seungcheol stood up with a handful of tickets. “Anyway I’ll be back.”_

_He walked towards the front counter leaving Seungkwan standing there alone. This wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t have a feeling he was being watched. He turned his head to see a clean shaven man wearing a blue fitted shirt and dark tinted glasses leaned against a wall staring in his direction. Seungkwan can only assume the man is looking at him since no one else is over here._

_He looked away. Maybe the man is waiting for someone and he’s just jumping to assumption. Suddenly there’s a tap on his shoulder. It’s the man._

_“Excuse me, I just want to say you’ve a amazing physique.”_

_“What.” Seungkwan is completely taken back by that comment._

_The man chuckled. “I should elaborate more. I’m a recruiting scout at a modeling agency and I think you’ve what we exactly looking for.” he peered down at Seungkwan from his dark glasses._

_“Uh I-“ He’s always been praised for his intelligence, never for his body. Does he have a model’s body?_

_“He’s not interested.” A cold voice said._

_Seungcheol returned. He placed a protective hand on the boy’s shoulder, throwing a glowering look at the man._

_The man said coolly. “I wasn’t talking to you.”_

_“Well now you are.” Seungcheol snarled. “So you got 2 seconds to fuck off before I punch you in the face.”_

_The man held up his hands. “Fine, whatever.” he cast one more glance at Seungkwan before turning to leave._

_Seungkwan yanked his shoulder from the other’s grip. “Hyung, why did you do that? He was a scout at a modeling agency and he was interested in signing me.” he pouted._

_“And you actually believed that?” Seungcheol said, staring in disbelief. “C’mon Seungkwan, do you really think a modeling recruiter would be inside a place full of kids and teenagers looking for models.”_

_“Oh.” Seungkwan felt stupid and naive._

_Seungcheol sighed. “Listen, my dad and your mother are eventually going to get married which is gonna make us stepbrothers.” he pushed a large green snake plushie into Seungkwan’s hands. “So I guess it’s never too early to protect you, right.”_

_He brushed past the younger boy walking back to the table. ___

__

__***_ _

__

__Seungkwan knocked on the door._ _

__

__A shirtless Seungcheol opens up the door. “Seungkwan, what are you doing here?” he said, surprised._ _

__

__“I’m here to see Jeonghan.”_ _

__

__“He’s sleeping.”_ _

__

__“Ok well I guess I will come back later when he’s woke.” Seungkwan turned to leave when he’s stopped by his criminal stepbrother. He rolled his eyes because of course Seungcheol wouldn’t let him just leave._ _

__

__“Yes?”_ _

__

__“I heard the news about you and Hansol.” Seungcheol said darkly. “Are you doing okay?”_ _

__

__“How did you even k-“ he paused, eyes falling on the bruise marks on the other’s knuckles. He remembered the night Hansol came home, face beaten up. The realization drawn on him._ _

__

__Seungkwan narrowed his eyes, taking a step back. “It was one. You were the one who beat up Hansol.” he pointed an accused finger at him._ _

__

__“Yeah I did.” Seungcheol replied, not sounding the bit remorseful. “He deserved it though.I don’t understand why you so pressed.”_ _

__

__“Ugh. what’s all this noise.” A tired Jeongham poked his messy blonde hair out from behind the door. “Oh kwannie, What are you doing here?”_ _

__

__“You had no right to do that.” Seungkwan fumed, eyes fixated on Seungcheol. “Or maybe you’re getting tired of using Jeonghan as a punching bag so you moved on to someone else.”_ _

__

__There’s silence. Jeonghan looked shocked while Seungcheol looked like he just got slapped._ _

__

__“I was looking out for you.” Seungcheol said calmly._ _

__

__“I don’t fucking need you looking out for me.” Seungkwan yelled. “You know what you can do as a stepbrother, stay the fuck away from me.”_ _

__

__With that, he stormed away._ _

__

__Jeonghan rested a hand on Seungcheol’s shoulder. “Cheollie-“ he began quietly._ _

__

__Seungcheol jerked his shoulder away from the touch. “Don’t.” he said coldly, going back inside the apartment._ _

__

__Jeonghan stood out in the hallway for a few minutes glaring back at the corner Seungkwan disappeared around. He let out a deflated sigh as he went back inside._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__Still seething with anger, Seungkwan almost forgot the reason he was out today. He took a left turn and parked in front of the store. He peered inside and saw Chan wasn’t inside despite the fact the sign on the window said open. He twisted the knob and it open so that must mean someone is inside. He walked behind the counter brushing past the beaded curtains into a room that was also empty. He can hear music coming from his right leading him to walk down a corridor in front of a door where the source of the music is coming from. He slightly pushed the mahogany door._ _

__

__Inside is a shirtless Minghao who is stretching on a mat. He slowly arched his back rotating his neck. Seungkwan can’t take his eyes off the man’s slender perfectly structured body. The way his smooth golden skin glistened._ _

__

__“Are you going to keep staring at me or are you gonna tell me why you’re here.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan jumped. Minghao is looking straight at him from the mirror that’s hanging up in front of him._ _

__

__Blushing, Seungkwan opens the door wide. “Uhm I wanna to give you back your jacket. Here.” he mumbled, holding the jacket out._ _

__

__Minghao took it. “Oh.” he said lightly. “I almost forgot to be honest.” He grabbed a green floral printed shirt from an empty chair and pulled it over his head._ _

__

__“Yeah.” Seungkwan coughed. He turned to leave when a painting hanging from the wall caught his attention- sunflowers blooming against a green background. Seungkwan found the painting to be quite fascinating as he walked closer running his hands on the canvas._ _

__

__“This is really amazing.” he commented._ _

__

__“Thanks, it’s my painting.” Minghao claimed, standing by the other._ _

__

__Seungkwan turned to him, tilted his head. “You paint? But you’re a hitman.”_ _

__

__“If I know any better it seems like you are disappointing.” Minghao put a hand to his chest in mock hurt._ _

__

__“What no I’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend you .” Seungkwan spluttered._ _

__

__Minghao laughed a soft sweet laugh that had Seungkwan’s stomach going into nervous overdrive. “Chill I'm just messing with you. You’re not the first person to be surprised when I mention I do something else besides kill people. Y’know if you are not busy tonight I could take you to the museum I regularly go to. How does tonight sound?”_ _

__

__“Tonight?” Seungkwan faltered, all it took was one look into those beautiful light brown eyes for him to clumsily say “Y-yes.”_ _

__

__“Terrific.” Minghao flashed a smile (Seungkwan felt his knees going weak) “Is 7:00 alright?”_ _

__

__He nodded. “Of course. I..I need to leave now. See you later.”_ _

__

__“See you later, Seungkwan.” Gosh even the way said his name sounded so damn perfect._ _

__

__Once outside of the store, Seungkwan leaned against the wall to calm his fast heart beating._ _

__

__He never thought the cause of his nervousness would be in the form of a handsome hitman._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__He’s flipping through clothes in the closet wondering what exactly classified as Museum attire. He pulled down every piece of clothing, brows furrowed. He finally settled on his favorite fuzzy white sweater and fitted black pants that Hansol once said “made his ass look good.” This outfit should be okay, right?_ _

__

__He looked at himself in the mirror one more time before leaving the room. He grabbed the keys from the empty bowl by the door._ _

__

__“Going somewhere?”_ _

__

__He looked at Hansol and Joshua who were sitting on the couch in the middle of working on a puzzle._ _

__

__“Eh yeah.” Seungkwan replied,picked at the hem of his coat. “I’m meeting a friend who's taking me to a museum.”_ _

__

__“Okay, have fun.” Joshua nodded. Hansol, however, doesn’t say anything just simply staring at Seungkwan._ _

__

__“Yeah.” Seungkwan swallowed the lump in his throat as he left._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__Hansol looked away from the closed door. If Seungkwan was meeting a friend at somem Museum why didn't he say a name? Maybe the person he’s meeting is a “special friend” that he doesn’t want them to know about._ _

__

__Unless…_ _

__

__Hansol shook his head. No he’s jumping to conclusions._ _

__

__“ Alright what’s up with you.” Joshua asked, busied figuring where each piece belonged._ _

__

__“Nothing.” Hansol lied._ _

__

__“There’s no point in lying to a therapist y”know.” Joshua said absentmindedly, forehead furrowed when the piece doesn’t fit._ _

__

__Hansol put his piece down on the table. “It’s just that… I mean it’s like it’s not of my business or anything but-“_ _

__

__“He’ll be fine.” Joshua reassured him, picking up another piece. “Now let’s get to the complicated issue at hand in front of us.”_ _

__

__Hansol snorted. “Complicated issue at hand? This puzzle literally has 1000 pieces and by the way who the hell still puts puzzles together.”_ _

__

__“Me.” The therapist said brightly. “Puzzles are fun.”_ _

__

__Hansol shook his head in amusement, eventually putting the issue of Seungkwan in the back of his mind for now even if he felt a slight pang in his heart._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__Seungkwan arrived at the stone white museum at 6:50 pm. He searched for Minghao who was leaning against a lamp post. He’s wearing a black trench coat and a gray turtleneck underneath paired with light gray pants. This guy could literally wear a garbage bag and still look good._ _

__

__Seungkwan wanted to faint._ _

__

__Minghao turned his head. “You here.” he beamed, walking towards him in such a calm and elegant way._ _

__

__Seungkwan nodded. “Uh do I look okay because I didn’t want to be overdressed or underdressed.” great he’s basically stammering._ _

__

__“You look good, those pants really bring out your figure.” Minghao commented, eyes looking him up and down( that caused Seungkwan to blush at the compliment) “Shall we get going then.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan followed him up the marble stairs and being the idiot he is, accidentally missed a step causing him to stumble headfirst into Minghao’s back._ _

__

__Minghao rolled over on his back. “I didn’t know it was this easy for you to fall for me.” he joked._ _

__

__Seungkwan groaned at the cheesy line, rolled off the other. “How long have you been waiting to say something like that.”_ _

__

__“Surprisingly for awhile.” Minghao held out a hand to help him up._ _

__

__Seungkwan grabbed it as they continued making their way inside. “So do you come here often?”_ _

__

__“Yep I consider it somewhat of an escape from reality.” he tugged Seungkwan’s hand in the direction of a smaller room. “This is my favorite part of the Museum. I get all access because I know the curator.”_ _

__

__In the room is a single painting hanging up surrounded by purple curtains. The painting depicted a disarray living room with a woman resting on her head on a tattered table. Her long auburn hair in a state of despair with an almost haunted look in her chestnut eyes. Her silk blouse hanging off her shoulder exposed her smooth ivory skin._ _

__

__“Everyone says she looks sad but I don’t think so. I think her facial expression tells more to her story.” Minghao studied the painting, lost in deep thought._ _

__

__While Minghao is observing the painting, Seungkwan is too busy observing him wondering how someone can have such a breathtaking side profile. Even when he scrunched up his face ,he looked like the cutest human being ever._ _

__

__“What do you think?”_ _

__

__He snapped out of his thoughts, face flushed. “Uhm I think she’s beautiful.”_ _

__

__“I agreed she is beautiful but in an eerily dark yet lull way. Too bad this painting is being put up on auction by next Friday.” he sighed._ _

__

__They left the room going back into the main foyer where Minghao pointed out some of his other favorite paintings. Seungkwan didn’t realize until now they were holding hands all this time. His heart leaped._ _

__

__By the time they leave, the sky is pitch black with the wind picking up._ _

__

__“Lemme see your phone.”_ _

__

__“Why?”_ _

__

__“Because silly I want to keep talking to you.” Seungkwan exclaimed, taking the phone, pulling up Minghao’s contacts and putting in his phone number._ _

__

__“Oh right.” Minghao said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess this is the part where we go our separate ways.”_ _

__

__“This was fun.” Seungkwan chimed. “I hope we can do this again.”_ _

__

__“Same.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan got into his car and Minghao stood there until the car was gone. He walked down the street with a smile on his face._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__After the Museum outing, Minghao and Seungkwan texting and talking to each other on a daily basis with the latter doing much of the talking. He would talk about his day at work. His favorite girl groups ( he seemed surprised that Minghao didn’t know who Wonder Girls were) he talked about reality shows and movies and just about everything. For Minghao, he could listen to Seungkwan talk all day, hell he could be talking about the weather and Minghao would be hooked on every word._ _

__

__It’s quite endearing._ _

__

__“Hyung. HYUNG.”_ _

__

__“Huh.” Minghao looked up from his phone. Him and Chan are sitting inside a diner._ _

__

__“Have you been listening to anything I’ve been saying.”_ _

__

__“Uh..no.”_ _

__

__Chan sighed. “I was talking about the plan. Jaehyun keeps saying everything should go smoothly but I dunno I have this feeling like it isn’t.”_ _

__

__Minghao placed his phone down on the table. “Listen as much as I don’t particularly like the guy we have no other choice but to trust him.”_ _

__

__Chan leaned back in his seat. “I guess you're right.”_ _

__

__Minghao’s phone buzzed. He checked a smile playing on his lips. Seungkwan just sent him the cutest selfie._ _

__

__Chan eyed him suspiciously “What got you so occupied these days. It’s like you literally glued to your phone.”_ _

__

__“Nothing.” Minghao lied. “Just Business stuff.”_ _

__

__Chan of course doesn’t believe him but he decided not to push any further. “I visited my grandma today.”_ _

__

__“How is she?”_ _

__

__“Still holding up.” Chan said sadly. “The doctor wants to start her on a new treatment but it’s really expensive.” he gloomily glanced out the window._ _

__

__“Hey look at me. Everything's gonna be okay.”_ _

__

__“Are you sure?”_ _

__

__“Positively sure.” Minghao reassured the young man._ _

__

__If there’s one thing Minghao is good at is keeping his word._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__“Bam.” Joshua slammed the card down on the table. “Won again.”_ _

__

__Hansol scoffed. “Beginners luck.”_ _

__

__“If you say so. Seungkwan, it's your turn. Seungkwan?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan has his back to the both of them standing at the counter staring at the photo of the unfinished artwork Minghao sent him. “Huh? Oh right...sorry.”_ _

__

__He sat back down at the table picking up his card and moved the little green piece three steps._ _

__

__“My turn again.” Joshua said jubilantly._ _

__

__“It’s been your turn for like the past 10 minutes. I’m starting to think you're cheating.” Hansol chortled._ _

__

__“Well it’s not like he’s the only one at this table who's good at cheating.” Seungkwan said nonchalantly._ _

__

__The lively air that filled the kitchen suddenly turned ice cold with Joshua’s eyes widened and Hansol’s face going blank._ _

__

__“Excuse me.” Seungkwan got up. “I need some air.”_ _

__

__He grabbed the car keys and left._ _

__

__There’s a moment of silence before Joshua spoke. “Hansol-“_ _

__

__The rapper stood up. “I don’t feel like playing anymore.” he said quietly. “I’m getting tired.”_ _

__

__He headed to the bedroom leaving the therapist alone to clean up the mess on the table._ _

__

__Joshua sighed.It’s going to take much longer to clean up the other mess that he’s part of now._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Seungkwan clenched his hands on the steering wheel. He’s been trying so hard. So hard to forget about that fateful day. Coming home and seeing them, their voices. Their voices still echoing in his ears like a broken record._ _

__

__“Fuck you feel so good Mingyu”_ _

__

__“Do you want me to go deeper baby”_ _

__

__He wiped his eyes. He turned a left intersection and that’s how he found himself in front of the place of the only person he could rely on._ _

__

__He knocked on the door._ _

__

__There’s noise on the other side and the next minute the door swings open._ _

__

__“Seungkwan, what are you doing here?” Minghao asked, surprised._ _

__

__“I know it’s late but I need someone to talk to.” Seungkwan tugged on the hem of his long sleeved shirt. “You don’t mind, do you?”_ _

__

__“Of course not. Come in.” Minghao moved aside to let him in._ _

__

__Seungkwan stared around at the place. “Wow, I was expecting blood splattered walls and no furniture.”_ _

__

__Minghao rolled his eyes sarcastically, closing the door . “I’m glad I’m slowly diminishing your hitman stereotype.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan sank down on the soft velvet couch with Minghao joined him._ _

__

__“So what’s wrong?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan laid his head on the other’s shoulder. “My ex boyfriend cheated on me with my ex best friend a-and I saw them. The worst part is I can't get the image of them in the bed and their voices out of my head.” he whispered. “As much as I tried, I just can’t.”_ _

__

__“Repressing unpleasant memories can be hard to do. As much as we want to, they never really go away.” Minghao said softly, thinking about his parents._ _

__

__Seungkwan looked up at him. “ But I don’t want to think about it. I hate it. I want to forget.” he traced a finger on Minghao’s lips._ _

__

__Minghao felt goosebumps at the touch. The air got tense as they stared into each other’s eyes._ _

__

__“Can you make me forget, please.” Seungkwan said quietly,inched closer. He can feel his heart racing._ _

__

__The distance between them closed as their lips connected. It was a light kiss but Seungkwan can feel the sparks vibrating in his body as he gently grips the back of Minghao’s hair._ _

__

__He knows he’s crossing the line into something twisted yet beautiful._ _

__

__And he doesn’t regret it one bit._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well look at that...a new relationship is born


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had finally had some time to read over this fic and in a earlier chapter I mention how Seungkwan is a heir to a paper towel empire but after thinking about it I was like nah and change it to him being a heir to a pharmaceutical company which does play somewhat a major role of Jaehyun's plan and why he doesn't like Seungkwan

*** **July 23, 2008** ***

_“Did you know that every year 1 in 8 teen would get behind a wheel highly intoxicated. Do you know much difference you could make.” Seungkwan waved the pamphlet in front of the girl’s face who looked slightly alarmed as she kept walking._

_“Do you really think waving a piece of paper in front of someone’s face is going to make them join SAAD?” Mingyu asked, leaning against a tree._

_“First off it’s SADD not SAAD and second Youngjae’s death could’ve been prevented if the other driver who just happened to be another teenager wasn’t drunk.All I’m trying to do is get teenagers to not engage in destructive decisions or behavior.” Seungkwan sighed as he sat down at the picnic table._

_“Don’t know what you mean. I personally think engaging in destructive behavior can be quite fun sometimes.” Jaehyun remarked. He and Eunwoo joined the two boys at the table._

_“Of course you do.” Seungkwan muttered to himself. “I guess none of you want to join.”_

_“Sorry my senior year is about to be booked and busy.” Eunwoo said, running a hand through Mingyu’s hair. “The acting club has three upcoming plays and I’ve been assigned as the director for them. I need all the credits if I want to get into that prestigious acting school in Seoul.”_

_“Yeah and my father has taken the incentive to basically sign me up for science and math club.” Mingyu added gloomily, laying his head on Eunwoo’s shoulder. “Even though I’m constantly telling him I don’t want to be a doctor, he never listens to me anyway.” he said bitterly._

_“Oh poor baby.” Eunwoo stroked his hair and kissed the top._

_Seungkwan watched them. There were times when he was walking down the hallways and saw how affection the trio were with each other. Yeah sure it’s common for friends to be a little touchy but it made him wonder sometimes whether there was more to their friendship._

_Jaehyun seemed to have read his mind as he scooted closer to Seungkwan. “What got you in such a deep thought?” he placed a hand on the other’s thigh._

_Seungkwan snapped out of his thoughts. “Um nothing I was just thinking club stuff.” he mumbled._

_“No please do tell. You ask and you shall receive.” Jaehyun moved his hand slowly up and down on Seungkwan’s thigh. “Let me guess….it’s about us, right.”_

_Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Okay fine what exactly is going on between the three of you.”_

_“We’re dating.” Jaehyun replied simply as if he just answered a simple math problem._

_“Dating?” Seungkwan asked, confused as he looked from Jaehyun to Eunwoo to Mingyu. “Like all three of you?”_

_Jaehyun raised an eyebrow. “Does poly relationships bother you?”_

_“What? No. It’s just that I mean- I don’t have a problem with how many partners someone wants to be with I guess .” Seungkwan felt heat on his neck that had nothing to do with the summer weather._

_“That’s good.” Jaehyun exclaimed, patting the boy’s thigh. “Because we want you to join us.”_

_“Huh.” Seungkwan is completely dazed by the request. “Y-you want me to join.”_

_“Yes kwannie.” Jaehyun reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Seungkwan’s ear. “We’ve been watching you for awhile and we find you to be...interesting.” he murmured in his ear._

_Seungkwan excessively swallowed. He looked at Eunwoo and Mingyu who were waiting for an answer. He remembered a week after Youngjae’s death how he cried in the boy’s bathroom when the door opened and walked in Mingyu who seemed shocked to see him sitting on the floor, eyes red and puffy. Instead of leaving, he went over and sat down by the distressed boy putting an arm around his shoulder. He didn’t say anything to which Seungkwan was thankful for- he didn’t feel like hearing comfort words. Even though he wouldn’t consider Mingyu a friend he was grateful for him for being there at that moment. Also he would be lying to himself if a little part of him found Mingyu to be cute and judging by the three girls sitting at another table not that far from them staring dreamily at the back of Mingyu’s hair- he wasn’t the only one.  
He bore his eyes into those dark eyes of the tall boy that had a glint of curiosity._

_“O-okay.”_

_And that’s how he started his senior year with three boyfriends. ___

__

__***_ _

__

__**One Month Later…** _ _

__

__The radiant sun is beaming in the room like a golden coin in the sky. Seungkwan and Minghao are sitting on the patched couch enjoying each other’s presence. Minghao is stretched out with his head on Seungkwan’s lap. Seungkwan is running his hands through Minghao’s newly curly brown hair which only makes him more gorgeous. They have only been dating for a month and Seungkwan still can’t believe he’s with the most perfect human being in the world. Not only perfect but talented and so caring._ _

__

__“What are you thinking about?” Minghao asked, hand toying with the button of Seungkwan’s shirt._ _

__

__“About how lucky I am to have an amazing hot boyfriend.” Seungkwan wrapped a brown curl around his finger._ _

__

__“Hmm really.”_ _

__

__“Yes, really.” Seungkwan leaned down._ _

__

__“Gross.” Chan walked into the room wrinkled his nose in disgust at the couple._ _

__

__Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “How is the act of kissing gross?”_ _

__

__“I’m not saying kissing is gross, it’s when you two do it.” Chan pointed out, opening the fridge popping open a beer bottle. “Anyway, Hao, a member of Red Dragons is here and he wants to talk to you.”_ _

__

__Minghao sat up. “About what?”_ _

__

__Chan shrugged. “Not sure he wouldn’t tell me.”_ _

__

__“Alright I’ll be right back.” Minghao gives Seungkwan a quick kiss and leaves._ _

__

__“What are the Red Dragons?” Seungkwan asked._ _

__

__“Of course you’ll want to know.” Chan muttered. “They’re a Chinese gang.”_ _

__

__“Wait he’s in a gang.” Seungkwan said nervously._ _

__

__Chan stared at him in disbelief. “Of course he’s in a gang. What do you think he took up contract killings as a hobby.”_ _

__

__“No I thought-“_ _

__

__“What are you two chatting about?” Minghao walked back in sitting down on the couch pulling Seungkwan onto his lap._ _

__

__“Seungkwan is scared as hell because you are in a gang.”_ _

__

__“No I’m not. I’m just a little surprised that’s all.” Seungkwan argued back._ _

__

__“Aww are you scared a big ole gang member is going to try to hurt you.” Minghao nuzzled his nose against his boyfriend’s neck. “You don’t have to worry about that because no one is putting a hand on you while I’m around.” he whispered into his ear._ _

__

__Seungkwan shuddered at Minghao’s voice in his ear. He twisted around. “Do you really mean that?”_ _

__

__Minghao kissed his forehead. “Absolutely.”_ _

__

__“I got a question I’ve been wanting to ask you specifically about this place. Who the hell is Charlie?”_ _

__

__“Oh well he was a client who wanted me to kill a business rival of his. In exchange for payment he gave me this place. Comes in handy because no one would suspect a place like this.”_ _

__

__“So basically this is a front to cover up all the illegal activities that take place in here.”_ _

__

__“Yah we do actually fix things here too.” Chan protested. “Radios, TVs.. you name it.”_ _

__

__“Alright Mr. Fix it, don't you’ve a broken shelf to mend.” Minghao brushed Seungkwan’s hair away from his face._ _

__

__“If you wanna some privacy you could’ve just said so. I don’t think I can stand being around this lovey dovey shit any longer.” Chan grumbled, picking up the beer bottle and walking out of the room._ _

__

__“I wanna ask another question. Why exactly did you decide to join a gang?” Seungkwan asked._ _

__

__“Um it’s kind of a long and personal story.” Minghao replied._ _

__

__Seungkwan notices the way Minghao’s voice slightly broke. “It’s okay you don’t have to tell me.”_ _

__

__Minghao stoked Seungkwan’s hair. “Maybe one day I’ll tell you but now let’s stop all this depressing talk and get back to the important business at hand. Me kissing your sumptuous plump lips.”_ _

__

__He cupped Seungkwan’s face in his hand and kissed him. Unlike their first kiss this one is more passionate as Seungkwan nibbled on Minghao’s bottom lip causing him to moan as he slowly laid down on the couch. Seungkwan is now straddling him while he plants kisses on Minghao’s golden neck trailing a hand down to his zipper. That’s when Minghao stopped him._ _

__

__“What?”_ _

__

__He sat up. “Uhm it’s well obviously I’m not a virgin or anything however it’s just I never did this with a guy before.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan slid off him. “Oh. Uh ok.”_ _

__

__“It’s okay though if you want to have sex we can still do this.” Minghao said quickly. “We have to because it’s like a requirement in dating.”_ _

__

__“Not sure who told you that but sex is definitely not a requirement. Sex is suppose to be a beautiful experience between two people and if you not ready I completely understand. “ He took hold of his boyfriend’s hand and gently stroked it. “That’s the thing about relationships, it’s about communication and understanding limits.”_ _

__

__Minghao pressed a kiss to his hand. “I’m glad you understand. So what do you want to do now?”_ _

__

__“Well since sex is definitely off the board, how about we continue our little make out session.” Seungkwan trailing a finger along Minghao’s collarbone._ _

__

__“Can’t say no to that.” he growled, gently pushed Seungkwan back down on the couch._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__Hansol tapped the pencil on the table, hand on his chin. As part of an exercise, Siwon wanted them to write a list of people who were affected the most by their drinking. He could think of three people right away who he did wrong and on top of that list is father._ _

__

__He hasn’t spoken to his father in over six years. Even if he did reach out to the man, would he want to talk to him?_ _

__

__“A penny for your thoughts, young Hansol.” Joshua joined him at the table._ _

__

__“Yeah, Siwon told us to make a list of people who we want to apologize to and the first person on my list is my Dad. The thing I haven’t spoken to him in years and I’m kinda nervous about seeing him again y’know.”_ _

__

__Joshua nodded. “I see well you’ll never know if you don’t try. When were you planning on visiting him?”_ _

__

__“Like Monday.”_ _

__

__“Perfect I can go with you.” The therapist beamed._ _

__

__“What no, that's okay. I don’t want you to go out of your way.”_ _

__

__“Go out of my way? Nonsense. Friends are supposed to be there for each other, right.” He slung an arm around Hansol’s shoulder._ _

__

__“Yeah.” He checked the time on his phone noticing it’s getting late and as usual Seungkwan isn’t home. Some days he doesn’t come home at all which meant Joshua had to stay here. He already accepted the fact that Seungkwan is dating someone. Does it bother him?- he isn’t sure._ _

__

__“I’m getting tired.” He stood up._ _

__

__“Hansol?”_ _

__

__Joshua seemed like he had a lot to say instead he said. “Good night.”_ _

__

__“Good night.”_ _

__

__Hansol retreated into the bedroom closing the door. The Moon casted a shadow on the bed as he sat down. He remembered when this bed felt warm. The nights when him and Seungkwan used to hold each other. Now the bed felt cold and empty._ _

__

__He laid down staring at the ceiling._ _

__

__Sometimes he thought about how he wanted the bed to feel warm again._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__When Seungkwan left the following morning it was as if there was an empty void in Minghao’s heart. He’s already missing his boyfriend’s hugs, kisses and touches. In just a short span of time, he can himself consumed with desire that is Seungkwan. He wanted to hold him forever and never let him go._ _

__

__He can honestly say he never felt this way about someone before._ _

__

__“Dude how many times are you gonna have that daze look on your face.”_ _

__

__“Huh what are you talking about? Was you saying something?”_ _

__

__Chan huffed. “Never mind. We’re here.”_ _

__

__They arrived at the warehouse. Minghao popped open the truck. Inside is a man with a bag over head. He dragged the individual into the warehouse and pushed him onto the dusty floor right by a tub. All he knows about this man is that he’s a gang member who killed a rival’s brother. Lately most of his jobs have been hits on gang members- he’s not complaining but he wished they would pay more. He pulled the bag off the man’s head while Chan covered his face with a thin piece of cloth. Minghao filled a bucket with water preceding it to pour it over the man’s face who was frantically wriggling which resulted in a kick to his leg. Minghao repeated this process about 10 times._ _

__

__“How the hell is waterboarding consider a torture method.”_ _

__

__Chan shrugged. “Suppose to make the person feel like they're drowning I guess.”_ _

__

__“Well this is taking too long.” Minghao whipped the cloth off the man’s face as he pulled out his gun, shoving it into the man’s mouth and pulled the trigger._ _

__

__“Whoa dude.” Chan’s eyes widened at the sight. “You could’ve at least gave me a heads up before you did that.”_ _

__

__“Sorry. I could help you clean up this mess.”_ _

__

__“Since when do you help?”_ _

__

__“Do you want my help or what.”_ _

__

__After 20 minutes, they leave the warehouse on the way back to the city. Minghao’s phone buzzed, he checked and saw Seungkwan send him a quick “I miss you” message._ _

__

__“So I’m gonna assume from that big stupid smile on your face that you just got a message from...your boyfriend.”_ _

__

__“What exactly do you’ve against Seungkwan. He’s literally…” Minghao trailed off because there’s so many words he can use to describe the adorable precious human being that is Seungkwan. Angelic. Breathtaking. All he could think about right now is squishing those cherubic cheeks and kissing him until his lips are and swollen and-_ _

__

__“Earth to Hao hello you still there.” Chan waved a hand in front of his face while keeping another hand on the steering wheel._ _

__

__“What? Yeah yeah.”_ _

__

__“Man I gotta say you’re playing the hell out of your part of this plan. If you weren't a hitman you could be an actor because you sure as hell got me convinced that you actually like him.’_ _

__

__Minghao let out a small laugh. “Right.” He looked away staring at the clear sky with a slight pang of shame forming in his stomach._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Seungkwan tosses and turns on the bed eventually giving up trying to go to sleep. Of course he’s abided by Minghao’s wish to wait to have sex but that isn’t stopping him from thinking about how badly he wants that gorgeous human being on top of him fucking him hard._ _

__

__And his body seems to agree with him judging by his throbbing erection._ _

__

__He reached down into the drawer until he realized the bottle of lube was in the other room- with Hansol. He got up from the bed._ _

__

__He knocked on the door slightly pulling his shirt down to cover up his embarrassment. The door opened and Hansol seemed bewildered to see him standing there._ _

__

__“Hey uh I need the bottle of lube.” Seungkwan muttered, face visibly flushed._ _

__

__The corners of Hansol’s mouth turned up into a smirk. “The harder you keep trying to hide it, the more redder your face is getting.”_ _

__

__“This isn’t funny.” Seungkwan whined._ _

__

__“You’re right it isn’t funny, it’s hilarious.” He walked back into the room coming back with the bottle in his hand._ _

__

__Seungkwan took it. “Thank you.”_ _

__

__“I know this is an inappropriate time to mention this but I’m visiting my father Monday. Joshua is going with me.”_ _

__

__“Oh.” Seungkwan blinking rapidly. He knows about the estranged relationship Hansol has with his father. “Why didn’t you ask me to go with you?”_ _

__

__“I was but you seem so occupied with other stuff these days y’know.” Hansol mumbled, staring down at his hands._ _

__

__Seungkwan feels guilt in his stomach. Between work and spending a large amount of time with Minghao, he isn’t aware of what’s going on here._ _

__

__“You probably want to go back to your room and uh do your business so um like good night.” Hansol said quickly._ _

__

__“Right….night.”_ _

__

__When Seungkwan is back inside his room and he’s done finishing his business, he cleans up the mess and goes back under the covers staring at the ceiling. He should be here more often so Joshua wouldn’t be stuck with all of the responsibilities of taking care of Hansol. On the other hand, that means spending less time with Minghao who he honestly can’t get enough of._ _

__

__Seungkwan sighed. He just has to find a way to make everything work out fine._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__“I don’t understand why I had to meet you in the middle of the night at some damn bridge.”_ _

__

__Jaehyun turned to look at him. “Because meeting late at night gives such a mystical vibe, don’t you agree?”_ _

__

__Minghao rolled his eyes. “Alright what the hell do you want.”_ _

__

__“I ask you to come here because I want to know how everything is going with our little rich friend.”_ _

__

__“Got him wrapped around my finger, practically smitten with me.”_ _

__

__“Terrific,the first part of the plan is going smoothly.” As Jaehyun was walking away he turned back around. “Just as long as you don’t start developing feelings for him too of course because that would make things….more _complicated.”__ _

__

__Minghao snorted. “Me falling for him, yeah right.”_ _

__

__Once he’s gone, Minghao remains at the bridge staring at the depths of the water biting down on his lower lip._ _

__

__

__The thing is he is falling for Seungkwan. Falling fast._ _


	47. Chapter 47

*** **August 25, 2008** *** 

_“Can we collectively agree that this movie is extremely graphic with all of this gore? Mingyu’s face is screwed up in disgust._

_“Dunno what you talking about it’s not even that graphic, you just scared of everything as usual.” Jaehyun shoved a handful of popcorn into mouth, head resting on Eunwoo’s lap._

_It’s Saturday night and the four boys are in Seungkwan’s room having a sleepover since his mother and Seokju went away for the weekend._

_“However this movie kinda sucks if anything else.” Jaehyun continued reaching for the remote control to turn it off._

_“So what do you want to do now?” Eunwoo asked._

_“Hmmm well I do have something in mind.” He crawled over to Seungkwan and wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist, resting his head on his chin. “Something of the...sexual nature.”_

_Seungkwan gulped averting his gaze so he wouldn’t have to look at the handsome dark haired boy sitting across him. A little part of him wondering what it would feel like to have Mingyu inside him. The mere thought had his body tingling._

_“Couldn’t agree more.” Eunwoo reached down into Seungkwan’s drawer. “Kwannie where do you keep your lube?”_

_When his answer is met with silence, three heads turned in his direction._

_Seungkwan hesitated. “Well um it’s just that I don’t really uh jerk off often.” he mumbled._

_Mingyu’s eyes widened. “Wait really.”_

_Jaehyun unlinked his arms from Seungkwan. “Mingyu go to the store and get some lube.”_

_The taller boy rolled eyes. “You do realize the word please exist for a reason.”_

_“Fine, can you please go to the store and get some lube.”_

_When Mingyu left, Jaehyun faced Seungkwan. “Kwannie, you’re not a virgin, are you?_

_Seungkwan hung his head in shame, a finger placed under his chin to lift up his head._

_“Hey don't be ashamed.” Jaehyun said softly._

_“You don’t understand I-I lost my virginity to my 43 year old Chemistry teacher back at my old school.” Seungkwan said quietly. He had thought he saw a flash of anger in Jaehyun’s eyes before it was replaced with compassion._

_“And you feel like your body is disgusting but you shouldn’t because even though he took away something precious from you, you’re still pure and never forget that.” Jaehyun said. Eunwoo nodded in agreement._

_“Also if you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to. We wouldn’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”Eunwoo added, rubbing circles on the boy’s arm._

_Mingyu returned 10 minutes later. “That awkward moment when you at the cash register and clerk are silently judging you for buying lube and condoms.” He looked at the trio. “Are we still doing this or what?”_

_“Well kwannie are we?” Jaehyun gave a kiss to his temple._

_Seungkwan took in the sight of Mingyu standing there amazing physique and all before he pulled him down on the bed pressing a kiss to lips._

_“Yes.” ___

__

__***_ _

__

__Seungkwan and Joshua are in the kitchen watching the dishes. There’s a brief moment of silence before Joshua spoke._ _

__

__“Sooo you must really like this guy you’re dating because your face is seriously glowing.” Joshua voiced, wiping off the plate handing it to Seungkwan._ _

__

__“He’s everything.” Seungkwan said dreamily, placing the plate in the dishwasher. His eyes sparkled with fondness every time he thought of Minghao. “He’s smart and extremely talented and so damn sexy.”_ _

__

__Joshua chuckled. “Wow you really do like him. By the way what does he do for a living?”_ _

__

__“Uh.” Seungkwan isn’t sure if he should tell Joshua yet he’s sure he wouldn’t judge, right?_ _

__

__“You promise you won’t judge.”_ _

__

__“Why would I judge?”_ _

__

__“Because he’s a hitman.” Seungkwan blurted out, and he could see the hesitant look flashing across the Therapist’s face._ _

__

__“I’m sorry did you say he’s a hitman.”_ _

__

__“I know I know it looks bad, but he’s so sweet and I’m positively sure he doesn’t like doing it.”_ _

__

__“Seungkwan-,“ Joshua began slowly._ _

__

__“Shua you say you wouldn’t judge.” Seungkwan whined. Suddenly a thought popped into his head. “Hey how about I introduce you to him and you can see for yourself that Minghao isn’t a bad person.”_ _

__

__“Alright.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan lowered his voice “Do you mind not telling Hansol about this, I don’t want anything to cause him to relapse.”_ _

__

__Joshua nodded as he went back to washing the dishes with uncertainty creeping in his stomach._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__Minghao is pacing back and forth fidgeting with hands, thoughts jumbled up. He wasn’t supposed to fall for Seungkwan. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way about Seungkwan, but he is. The way this human being affected him it was like he couldn’t go one minute without thinking about Seungkwan. He couldn’t think straight. He could barely sleep without having dreams about him. He longed to kiss him, to hold him, to do every unspeakable sexual thing to his body. Every minute without him, Minghao can feel himself going more insane._ _

__

__He grabbed his hair in frustration cursing under his breath. He thought about the damn plan._ _

__

__*** **One Month Earlier** ***_ _

__

__Minghao inserted the key into the keyhole, but the door is already unlocked and standing inside is a man leaned against the counter twirled a knife in between his fingers._ _

__

__The man grinned at them. “Ah the famous Xu Minghao. Do you know how long I’ve been trying to find you and it seems like my luck has finally struck.”_ _

__

__Minghao crossed his arms, eyes narrowed. “And you are?”_ _

__

__“My name is Jaehyun.” he said cheerily. “And I came here because I want to propose an offer, boys.”_ _

__

__Minghao’s eyebrows rose. “So let me get this straight. you broke into my store-“_ _

__

__“Our store.” Chan corrected him._ _

__

__“Our store and you asked for a favor as if we were gonna accept.” Minghao bore his eyes into this Jaehyun guy with one hand in his pocket in case things went awry._ _

__

__“You should because what I have to offer involves a lucrative amount of money.” he slid a finger down the knife’s blade. “And a certain heir to a pharmaceutical company.”_ _

__

__Minghao thinks for a minute knowing that Chan’s eyes are bored into him._ _

__

__“Okay what’s the offer?”_ _

__

__Jaehyun placed the knife on the counter happily rubbing his hands together._ _

__

__“Glad you’re onboard. Okay so the plan but first before I tell you let me let start from the beginning. For a while I’ve been watching little Kwannie and from what I observed, he’s the victim of a boyfriend who cheated on him and broke his little heart. However, I do believe and if my predictions are right, that Seungkwan may still have lingering feelings for this ex as in most cases of-“_ _

__

__Minghao whipped his gun out and pointed it at Jaehyun’s heart. “We don’t have time for this backstory shit. Either get to the point or I’m gonna put a bullet in your body.”_ _

__

__Jaehyun seemed unfazed by the gun instead his face lit up. “Okay okay impatient one. As you both of you are fully aware Seungkwan is a heir sitting on a shit ton of money. Like I previously stated Seungkwan may still have feelings for his ex. The plan is to get him to put a 64 million won hit on the ex, Hansol and that’s when you come into the picture.”he turned to Minghao.“You pretend to date him in whom he would eventually fall so deeply in love with completely forgetting about that ex and making it easier for you to persuade him to put the hit out.”_ _

__

__“Why me?”_ _

__

__“Because look at you. You’re a walking visual and definitely his type. No offense.”Jaehyun said to Chan.”_ _

__

__Chan crossed his arms. “None taken, please continue.”_ _

__

__He continued. “Alright so after the money is deposited and of course Hansol is dead, you break things off with Seungkwan claiming you never really loved him. Afterwards, you go to the police and tell them how Seungkwan was the one that forced you to kill Hansol.”_ _

__

__“What about me?” Minghao asked, frowned. “Wouldn’t I go to jail for killing Hansol?_ _

__

__Jaehyun let out a small laugh. “Oh no, you see I know people who would make sure you’ll avoid prison time.”_ _

__

__“And Seungkwan?”_ _

__

__“Would be sitting in a cold prison cell emotionally wrecked over what he did to Hansol and feeling the ultimate betrayal from a man who he thought loved him. But who gives a shit about that because you two would’ve 64 million won and I think that’s a win win situation for everyone. So what is it gonna be?”_ _

__

__Minghao thought about all of this. He didn’t care much about the money, but he knew that money would benefit Chan the most._ _

__

__“Okay yeah sure.”_ _

__

__Jaehyun’s face broke out into a grin like a kid at Christmas. “Perfect. I would drop by daily for updates. I need to get going.”_ _

__

__Minghao asked. “Wait what do you get out of this plan?”_ _

__

__With a hand on the knob, Jaehyun turned back around. “It’s simple. I get my long overdue revenge.”_ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__“Geez you look like a man in extreme distress.” Kim Yugyeom, a client of his, claimed, walking into the room._ _

__

__“You have no idea. Anyway, do you’ve the stuff?”_ _

__

__“Yeah.” Yugyeom replied, placing the bag on the counter. “Not sure why you need sex toys in the first place.”_ _

__

__Minghao rubbed the back of his neck. “Because I’m um seeing this...guy and I wanna learn how to pleasure myself before y’know I can pleasure him.”_ _

__

__Yugyeom’s eyes went round. “Wait, someone willing wants to date the infamous coldhearted hitman known as The 8 The aka The Chameleon. Am I hearing this correctly?”_ _

__

__“Shut up you acting like someone liking me is a fucking sin.”_ _

__

__The other laughed. “Dude chill I’m happy for you although if you really want to fuck the brains out of this guy, you should take him on a romantic getaway. I got a guest house in Florence, Italy you can use.”_ _

__

__“Wow thanks man.” Minghao didn’t have any doubts now about taking his relationship with Seungkwan to the next level._ _

__

__“Ok let’s get down to the reason why I’m here.” Yugyeom held up a small round object. “This right here is a cock ring it’s used -“_ _

__

__Minghao groaned covering his ears. “I don’t need details, just tell me the names. I’m already starting to regret this.”_ _

__

__“What are you regretting?” Chan emerged from behind the beaded curtains._ _

__

__“Nothing.” Minghao lied, shoved the items back into the bag._ _

__

__The assistant gives him a confused look. “Whatever I’m came to tell you I’m gonna be gone for the rest of the day. It’s my grandma, the doctor just called and told me she had to be moved to ICU because of a blood clot in her heart.”_ _

__

__“Shit, sorry to hear that.”_ _

__

__Chan sighed. “Yeah and to make matters worse my grandpa is far behind on the mortgage payments, the bank may end foreclosing on the house. That house means everything to him.”_ _

__

__Minghao bit the inside of cheek. Hearing this only made him feel more guilty. The purpose of this plan was to help his friend, yet he’s failing him in the worst possible way._ _

__

__Once Chan is gone, Yugyeom lifts an eyebrow at him._ _

__

__“So I’m gonna assume he isn’t aware of you dating this mysterious guy.”_ _

__

__“He knows it’s just that ugh it’s complicated.” Minghao buried his face in his hands._ _

__

__“How so?”_ _

__

__Minghao lifted his head and said in a pain stricken tone._ _

__

__“That I may end up ruining a friendship.”_ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__“Just tell me already.” Seungkwan whined, bouncing from one foot to the other. The anticipation is killing him._ _

__

__Minghao chortled. “Not yet.”_ _

__

__“Why?”_ _

__

__“Because I don’t want to.”_ _

__

__“Fine.” Seungkwan crossed his arms. “I'll never kiss you again until you tell me.”_ _

__

__“Oh let’s see about that.” Minghao moved closer to him planting kisses on Seungkwan’s neck that caused him to slightly moan._ _

__

__Minghao snickered. “Weak. Fine I would tell you even though it’s fun making you slowly suffer. Next weekend, you and I are going away to Florence, Italy.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan blinked rapidly. “Italy? As in the country.”_ _

__

__“Yep thinking of it as a blissful getaway to the country of love.” Minghao said. He’s thrown off guard by the way Seungkwan tackled him into a hug on the couch kissing him._ _

__

__“Why are you the most perfect man in the world? Seungkwan stroked his cheek. “But I have to ask why the spontaneous trip?”_ _

__

__“Because.” Minghao kissed his forehead. “I’m ready.”_ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Joshua pulled up in front of the ivory house. “Are you sure you can handle this by yourself?”_ _

__

__Hansol stared at the house, pit of anxiety in his stomach. “Yeah.”_ _

__

__He got out of the car despite having cold feet he needed to do this. Every step he took to the house felt like he was walking barefoot on eggshells. He’s finally in front of the door and from the other side he can hear voices. He tapped on the door._ _

__

__A man with black-gray hair answered the door. Upon seeing who it was, his eyes widened in surprise. “Hansol! What are you doing here? Is everything ok with your mother and sister?”He closed the door behind him._ _

__

__Hansol ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah everyone’s fine the reason why I came here is because um well I’m...I’m going to AA meetings now and the counselor told us to make a list of people who we wanted to apologize because of drinking. I just wanna say I’m sorry. Sorry for putting you through so much shit when I was a teenager and not being a better son.”_ _

__

__“I’m at fault too. Instead of kicking you out when you were 18 I should’ve gotten you the help you needed before it got to the point...”Hansol’s father trailed, face etched with sadness._ _

__

__Hansol felt a lump in the back of his throat as he fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. “Dad nothing is your fault. It’s all my fault. I-I…”_ _

__

__“Hansol, come here.” His father said softly, spreading his arms._ _

__

__He embraced his father as he sobbed on the elder man’s chest as if he’s finally releasing everything he’s been holding in for long. Thinking about every screwed up thing he has done in the past because of alcohol. He broke apart from his father, wiping his eyes._ _

__

__“You’re probably busy and everything.” he mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I should get going now.”_ _

__

__“You know you are always welcome to come here for the holidays. Your step brothers would love to meet you.”_ _

__

__“Thanks I would like that.” Hansol smiled as he turned to walk back to the car._ _

__

__The drive back to Seoul is quiet as Hansol is looking out the window lost in his thoughts. Meanwhile Joshua, who didn’t say anything when the younger male got back into the car with eyes red and puffy, couldn’t take much of the silence any longer and cleared his throat._ _

__

__“So how did things go with your father?”_ _

__

__“We're talking again.” Hansol replied, making up with his father felt like a dead weight was lifted off his shoulder._ _

__

__“That’s good. Reunited with your estranged father provided a healing you-”_ _

__

__“Who is Seungkwan dating?”_ _

__

__“What?” Joshua is completely caught off by the question that he almost swirled off the road. “W-why do you wanna know?”_ _

__

__Hansol shrugged. “Dunno guess I’m curious. What is his name?”_ _

__

__“Can’t tell you. Patient Confidentiality.”_ _

__

__“He’s not even your patient anymore.” Hansol scoffed. “Why can’t you just tell me?”_ _

__

__“Seungkwan might be my former patient, but I still have an obligation to not share information he tells me with others.”_ _

__

__Hansol pulled out his phone. “I hope whoever he’s with is...treating him good.”It pained him to even have to say those words._ _

__

__“Who are the other names you have on your list?” Joshua asked, wanting to change the subject._ _

__

__Hansol has his thumb hovered on the contact number of the second person on his list. Someone who he hasn’t talked to in awhile and definitely didn’t deserve the hurt he probably caused._ _

__

__He dialed the number._ _

__

__“Hello?” A deep voice answered._ _

__

__“Hey it’s me, Hansol. I...I was wondering if I can come over tomorrow. We need to talk.”_ _

__

__The other end of the line is silent for a minute before Mingyu eventually says. “Okay.”_ _

__

__“Alright, see you tomorrow.” After hanging up, Hansol sighed, laying his head on the window until he drifted off to sleep._ _

__

__Joshua snuck a side glance at the sleeping man, feeling remorse that he couldn’t tell Hansol the truth. He wanted to give Seungkwan the benefit of doubt and believe the man when he said he was truly happy with Minghao. Yet with what Minghao does for a living has him unnerved. Maybe Seungkwan is right, telling Hansol his ex is dating a hitman would only cause him to spiral out of control and go back to drinking and that is the last thing the therapist wanted to happen. For now all he could do is trust Seungkwan and hope for the better. Even if his gut instinct is telling him differently._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To summarize Jaehyun's plan for those who might still be confuse: Basically Minghao is suppose to be fake dating Seungkwan who has to fall in love with him(Minghao). Minghao would've then coaxing him into putting a 64 million won (equivalent to 58 million in USD I looked it up lol) hit on Hansol. Once Seungkwan agreed to do it, Minghao was suppose to break up with him and go to the police telling them how Seungkwan wanted Hansol dead because of the cheating which would have led to Seungkwan being arrested. 
> 
> As you can see things are not going as planned because Minghao is the one falling in love with Seungkwan instead of the other way around. 
> 
> Also, orignally I was going to have one Major Character Death but now I'm changing it into two.
> 
> Hell I might as well mention this since I kinda spoiled it anyway lol: I regret to inform all the Verkwan shippers...Hansol is one of the Major Character Deaths sorry I know I'm awful please don't hate me. As for the other MCD... well my lips are sealed


	48. Chapter 48

*** **September 19, 2008** *** 

_The walk back to the car is brutally a quiet affair with the four boys covered in blood still in a critical state of shock at what they just did. One of the boys sniffed which angered Jaehyun._

_“Why are you crying?” Jaehyun screamed in Seungkwan’s face, seizing his shoulders and shaking him. “Don’t you dare cry for him. He deserved it and you know it. You fucking know it.”_

_“Jae.” Mingyu stepped in between them. “That’s enough.”_

_Jaehyun’s chest rose and fell with rapid breaths as he turned and continued walking with Eunwoo trailing behind him._

_“Are you okay?" Mingyu placed his hands on Seungkwan's shoulder._

_Seungkwan hung his head staring at the blood on his hands that made him want to throw up. “H-he’s right, I shouldn’t be crying for someone who was a monster.”_

_Mingyu lifted his chin. “Don’t listen to him. You’re in shock. We all are.”_

_Seungkwan stared into those dark eyes brimming of warmth and reassurance. He wrapped his arms around Mingyu’s waist. He finds a little bit of comfort being latched to the taller boy._

_“Are we ever gonna be okay after what we did?” he whispered._

_Mingyu kissed the top of his head. “I don’t know kwannie. I honestly don’t know.” ___

__

__***_ _

__

__“I haven’t been in this area in awhile.” Minghao is looking out at the bay window of the office building. It’s Friday and he’s beyond excited about their romantic gateway. He decided to surprise Seungkwan by showing up to his workplace._ _

__

__“How did you even know I worked? Positivity sure I never told you.”Seungkwan’s eyes are glued to the computer screen as he is finishing typing a report.”_ _

__

__“It’s general knowledge.” Minghao admitted. “There are tons of articles about this company online and you’re in most of them.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan cringed. He wasn’t particularly fond of the fact information about himself is available online for anyone to see._ _

__

__Minghao strolled over and stood behind him massaging his shoulders. “Plus I killed a guy in the alleyway not far from here a couple of months ago.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan tensed, a flash of memory entered his mind back to that night he witnessed in that alleyway so many months ago. “The name of the person you killed wasn't Park Kimoom, right?"_ _

__

__Minghao forced Seungkwan out of the chair and took his place pulling the latter into his lap. “Yeah. Did you know him?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan lightly shoved him. “I witnessed that murder.”_ _

__

__“Our first encounter, how cute.” Minghao said teasingly, running a hand through Seungkwan’s hair._ _

__

__“Not funny, that murder traumatized me by the way.”_ _

__

__Minghao rolled his eyes. “How did the death of someone you barely knew traumatized you?”_ _

__

__“He was a father who was raising money to help his daughter who had cancer-”_ _

__

__“He was embezzling money from his company.” Minghao pointed out. “Listen in no way am I trying to justify killing. I know my actions are wrong, but most of the people I’ve killed aren’t exactly innocent.”_ _

__

__“Has there ever been a murder you regretted?” Seungkwan asked quietly._ _

__

__“Not really. When I y’know do a job, I try to get it done quickly so I wouldn’t have to think about it. Thinking about it would cause me to have nightmares.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan kissed him. “Well I don’t want someone as breathtaking as you to have nightmares.”_ _

__

__Minghao nuzzled his nose against Seungkwan’s neck resting his chin on his shoulder. “The feeling is mutual.”_ _

__

__They fell into a comfortable silence as Minghao observed Seungkwan typing up a bunch of numbers and some other stuff he didn’t understand. “Looking at all those numbers is making my head hurt.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan snorted. “Why I’m not surprised.”_ _

__

__“Why do you even need to work? You’re an heir.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan twisted around to look at him. “So? Just because I’m an heir, I’m not allowed to work. Besides I like working here I don’t have a degree in accounting for nothing.”_ _

__

__“I’m not saying you’re not allowed to work I just find it super weird someone super-rich like you wants to work.”_ _

__

__“I don’t practically care about my inheritance.” Seungkwan shrugged. “I’m only allowed access to a certain amount anyway. I won’t be granted to all of it until I’m 30.”_ _

__

__“When you say a certain amount. How much exactly?”Minghao questioned._ _

__

__“64 million won.”_ _

__

__“Oh.” Shit Shit Shit. Minghao gulped as he gripped his hold on Seungkwan’s waist. Minghao bit down on his lower lip thinking about how that is the exact amount they needed making things only more complicated._ _

__

__Seungkwan furrowed his brows at the look on Minghao’s face. “Is everything okay?”_ _

__

__“What? Yeah.”Minghao laughed nervously to cover the massive dread in his stomach.“I was thinking about...about Florence and all the stuff, I’ve planned out for us when we get there.”_ _

__

__“Hmmm as much as I want to hear your plans, I really gotta get this report done by today.” He turned back to the computer screen._ _

__

__“You look kinda sexy when you get into business mode.” Minghao murmured into his ear. “Perhaps I can provide a little boost for you.” He trailed his hand down to Seungkwan’s crotch area._ _

__

__Seungkwan shuddered. “But-,” he began._ _

__

__“But what. It isn’t like there's a camera in your office, right.”Minghao shoved his hand inside Seungkwan’s underwear and grabbed hold of his shaft. Seungkwan hitched his breath at the touch as Minghao gently stroked using his thumb to massage the tip. Seungkwan moaned with every stroke until he released right on Minghao’s hand._ _

__

__“Fuck.” he panted, placing the back of his head on Minghao’s chest. “I thought you said I didn’t have any experience with stuff like this.”_ _

__

__“Yeah, on myself.” He admitted, grabbing the box of tissue from the desk to wipe his hand. “But not on someone else.”_ _

__

__“Is there anything you’re not good at? Anyway as much as I loved that little distraction, I absolutely have to get this report.”Seungkwan returned to his computer screen for the second time._ _

__

__Minghao leaned back running a hand slowly down Seungkwan’s waist basking in the presence of the man who occupied his thoughts more and more. Yeah, there’s one thing he’s not good at- keeping a promise to a friend._ _

__

__< > _ _

__

__“I have to go home and pack.” Seungkwan protested. They are standing in the underground parking lot._ _

__

__“No you don’t. Just buy new clothes.”Minghao suggested, hands wrapped around Seungkwan’s waist._ _

__

__“You want me to buy new clothes for a two day getaway?”_ _

__

__“Why not, you’ve the money. Might as well treat yourself.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan thought about that, he barely spends his money on himself. “Okay let’s go.”_ _

__

__They head to a high-end department store pulling down every piece of clothing off the racks; arms filled with clothes as they went into the dressing room._ _

__

__“Just admit you were supposed to be a model and not a hitman.” Seungkwan grumbled, watching Minghao looking at his outfit in the mirror._ _

__

__Minghao chuckled. “I can’t help it that I love fashion.” he pulled the shirt over his head. “Besides stop acting like you won’t look good in this.” he held up a pink floral shirt. “Pink is definitely your color.”_ _

__

__He isn’t sure what he said that caused the other’s face to suddenly go pale. “Hey what’s wrong?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan lowered his head, fidgeting with fingers. “It’s just um Mingyu used to say all the time that I look good in pink and I guess I experienced a brief flashback.”_ _

__

__“Oh shit sorry. I lied, pink isn't your color. You would look terrible wearing pink, ok maybe not terrible because you’re gorgeous.”Minghao facepalmed.“I’m doing an awful job at lying.”_ _

__

__“It’s okay.” Seungwan laughed. “I guess you two have a point though, pink is the color for me.” He gathered up the shirt from the floor putting it over his head. Minghao placed his hand on his shoulders admiring the sexiness that is his boyfriend._ _

__

__“You look so damn good.” he murmured into Seungkwan’s left ear. “I’m so tempting to take you right here in this dressing room.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan twisted around to look at him. “Hmmm perhaps that’s not a bad idea.”_ _

__

__Minghao blinked. “Wait, I was kiddin-” his sentence was cut off when Seungkwan pinned him to the wall._ _

__

__“I was thinking of an alternative actually,” he whispered into Minghao’s ear as got down on his knees._ _

__

__Minghao’s mind went into overdrive. “Seungkwan w-what are you doing?” he spluttered._ _

__

__Seungkwan is undoing Minghao’s zipper when he looks up at him with a wicked grin. “Giving you a little preview of what you should expect in Italy.”_ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Hansol tapped on the door._ _

__

__The door opens a millimeter before being swung wide open. “Hansol.” Mingyu exclaimed, voice laced with surprise. “What are you doing here?”_ _

__

__“I said I was coming over, remember?”_ _

__

__Mingyu scratched the back of his neck. “Oh right sorry I've been so busy lately I forgot. Come in.”he stepped to the side to Hansol in._ _

__

__Hansol feels an uncomfortable pit in his stomach remembering the last time he was here, before everything went to shit. He took a seat on the couch with Mingyu joined, however he maintained a small distance between them to which Hansol was thankful._ _

__

__“It’s been awhile, huh.” Mingyu let out a nervous chuckle._ _

__

__Hansol swallowed. “Yeah I think the last time we saw each other was at the apartment and was extremely rude to you and-”_ _

__

__“Referring to me as a stupid slut who runied your life.” Mingyu finished for him._ _

__

__Hansol flinched at those words. “When I said that, I was at the lowest point in my life; after losing Seungkwan and basically everything else. I shouldn’t never have said those things to you. You’re not a slut and you didn’t ruin my life;my life was ruined the day I started drinking for the first time which led me to make destructive choices like sleeping with you. I know a sorry won’t change anything, but I do mean it when I say I’m genuinely sorry, Mingyu.”_ _

__

__Mingyu wrapped his arms around himself, staring out into the distance. “You’re not all to blame for y’know the fooling around. I remember when I first met you at my first film release party, how you looked at Seungkwan like he was the only person that mattered in the world. After all the bullshit Seungkwan had to deal with back in high school, I was so happy that he ultimately found someone that made him smile again yet at the same time I was jealous of him. Seeing all those cute photos of you two that Seungkwan used to show me made me wish I had someone who would do stuff like that. Y'know, take cute couple pics and go on cute dates. Someone who genuinely cared about me and doesn’t see me just as a handsome face with money.”_ _

__

__Mingyu exhaled. “I knew it was wrong to kiss you. I knew it was wrong to have sex with you but in s-some way I wanted… to experience the happiness that Seungkwan felt when he was with you. I ruined a happy relationship and friendship for my self-serving reasons.”tears are falling down his cheeks._ _

__

__Hansol scooted closer wiping the tears from the actor’s face. “Both of us loved him, and we ended up hurted him.”_ _

__

__“How is he doing anyway? Mingyu asked._ _

__

__Hansol cleared his throat. “He’s uhm doing fine. He’s...seeing someone.”_ _

__

__“Wait really. Who?”_ _

__

__“I have no idea. Joshua knows, but he doesn’t want to tell me for some reason so I guess I have to accept…”he trailed off not sure if he could finish his sentence without breaking down into tears. He got up from the couch. “I think I need to get going.”_ _

__

__“Hansol?”_ _

__

__“Yeah?”_ _

__

__Mingyu smiled. “I’m glad you came.”_ _

__

__Hansol smiled back at him as he left. Once outside, he leaned against the wall letting out the sigh he’s been holding in. He’s a little safisted with his talk with Mingyu yet that didn’t loosen the dread in his chest. He pulled out his list staring at the third and final name of the person who he caused so much emotional distress and pain:_ Seungkwan _


	49. Chapter 49

10 minutes later, Seungkwan and Minghao left the department store with bags filled with a large amount of clothes, more than they needed for a two day getaway. Minghao swooped Seungkwan into a back hug, pressing kisses to his neck. Seungkwan giggled as he was trying to pry the man’s hands off his waist.

“What are you doing? You do realize we’re in a parking lot.”

Minghao snorted. “Says the guy who sucked me off in a fitting room. Since when does public displays of affection bother you.”

“It doesn’t.” He’s being truthful. He remembered when he and Hansol went on their first date how people used to throw judgemental stares at them or shake their heads in social disapproval. Initially, it did bother him a little bit but over time he stopped caring about what others thought of him.

“Then you won’t mind if I kiss you right here in this parking lot until those irresistible delicious lips of yours are red and swollen.” Minghao pulled Seungkwan closer. Just as he was about to lean in, his eyes narrowed at something over Seungkwan’s shoulder.

“What is it?” Seungkwan asked curiously. 

Minghao doesn’t respond to him as he sprinted off in the direction where the hooded figure, who minutes ago was crouching behind a car, was heading. He saw the individual disappearing into an alleyway and followed. The hooded figure is attempting to jump over a fence when Minghao grabbed the person by the back of their neck and flung them against the wall. He snatched the hood off to see it was nothing more than a scrawny teenage boy whose eyes widened in fear. Minghao whipped out his gun from inside his pocket and jammed it right under the boy’s chin.

“Who the fuck are you and why were you taking pictures of us.” He growled, pressing the gun deeper into the boy’s flesh.

“I-I was p-paid b-by s-someone to take photos of you two.” The boy stammered.

“Paid by who?” Minghao demanded. “You got two seconds to tell, or I’m going to fucking blow your brains off.”

“Minghao.” A soft voice said behind him. All it took was for Seungkwan’s gentle warm on his shoulder to bring Minghao back to reality. He released his grip on the boy and roughly shoved him away. 

“Tell whoever put you up to this that if I ever catch you taking pictures of us again, I won’t hesitate to put you six feet under.”

  
The boy gulped as he scurried away.

Seungkwan wrapped his arms around his boyfriend to get him to calm down, and he pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “C’mon we don’t wanna be late for our flight, right?” 

Minghao, who still had his eyes fixated on the corner the boy disappeared around, instantly turned his head back to Seungkwan and used a thumb to stroke his cheek. Sometimes he thought about how he didn’t deserve to have such a soft-hearted and gorgeous boyfriend.

“You right let’s go.”

  
<>

“Oooo Florence is really the city of museums and these restaurants are so cute. We’re definitely going to these.” Seungkwan exclaimed, flipping through the brochure. He turned to see Minghao staring absentmindedly out of the window. Seungkwan assumed he must be still upset about the incident. He reached out and took hold of Minghao's hand, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb.

“Hey just let it go okay.”

“How can I let go of the fact someone was taking photos of us, kwannie.” He felt ashamed. He was supposed to be protecting Seungkwan, yet he allowed a stranger to invade their privacy. “This probably wasn’t even the first time either.”

Seungkwan retreated his hand away letting it drop on his lap. He bit down on his bottom lip. “It wasn’t.” He said quietly.

  
Minghao frowned at him. “What do you mean?”

“Before I met you, someone had been sending me, Hansol and Mingyu photos and we didn’t know from who.” 

  
“The kid did say someone paid him, though.” 

  
“Yeah.” Seungkwan honestly didn’t know who would do this to him. He didn’t have any enemies well at least he didn’t think so. Maybe the person behind it was an enemy of Minghao, but that wouldn’t make sense because why hasn’t Minghao received any photos? None of this made sense. 

Minghao sensed the other was worried, so he grabbed hold of Seungkwan’s hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “I’m sorry for keeping thinking about it. I don’t wanna ruin our trip over something little.” 

  
Seungkwan laid his head on the man’s shoulder, closing his eyes. “Me neither."

He drifted off to sleep while Minghao gently stroked his hair gazing out the airplane window at the magnificent pink and gold sky. 

He decided to push away his uneasy thoughts into the back of his mind. Right now he just wanted to enjoy a blissful weekend in Florence with his boyfriend. 

  
<>

The plane landed at Florence airport. Since they didn’t have much luggage (they decided on buying two suitcases) it didn’t take long at the security checkpoint. Minghao hailed down a cab and told the driver to take them in the direction of Yugyeom’s guest house. The car ride gave them the opportunity to take in the countryside and its beautiful trees and fields of growing sunflowers. Minghao got to give it to Yuygeom because the man does have taste as the car parked in front of a house that looked straight out of the ones you see in those magazines about fancy houses that celebrities lived in. A massive modern white colored two story home with a glass ceiling surrounded by trees.He pushed open the black and golden iron gate as they walked up the cobbled stairs to their two day paradise. The exterior of this place is nothing compared to the interior; white walls with pale golden furniture and a glass coffee table in the middle. On the right side is a fireplace with a fluffy white rug spread out on the ground. Right by the staircase is a dresser with an oval mirror and a vase of white flowers perched on top. Seungkwan went over and reached for one of the flowers and twirled it around his fingers. He tucked the flower behind Minghao’s ear and stood back admiring how beautiful it made his already mesmerizing boyfriend.

Minghao swooped Seungkwan into his arms wrapping his hands around the other’s waist. “So what do you want to do first?” 

“Well there so much we can do but first I think we need to take a shower before going out.” Seungkwan said, hands placed on Minghao’s shirt. 

“You're right. While you take a shower, I’ll start unpacking our stuff.” Minghao unlinked his arms from around Seungkwan’s waist. He went over to grab the two suitcases that were still in the hallway.Upon walking back into the living room, he noticed that the other man was standing at the bottom of the stairs giving him a perplexed look. 

“Yes?”

“If it’s not too much to ask, do you mind showering with me?” Seungkwan asked shyly, rubbing his right arm. 

Minghao dropped the suitcases in a heartbeat. “You had me at showering.” He grabbed the man’s hand as they rushed up the stairs.

<>

Seungkwan was right. Florence had so many attractions that it was hard to decide what to do first. They decided to go to _Le Murate Caffe Letterario_ , a cafe in an open space that allowed them to enjoy the views of people going along with their day. A group of women are engaging in conversations while their children are running after the pigeons on the pavement. Elder men are crowded around watching an intense chess match between their friends.

“Italy is really a beautiful place.” Seungkwan remarked. Minghao nodded in agreement. 

“You know what else is beautiful.”

“What?”

“The person sitting across from me.” Minghao grabbed his hand. 

Seungkwan groaned. “Why did I know you were going to say that? 

Minghao pressed a kiss to the back of Seungkwan’s hand, glazing at him as if he was the only person that mattered in the world. “Because you know me so well.”

After leaving the cafe, their next destination was the _Ponte Vecchio_ , an old arched bridge that housed a variety of shops mostly people selling jewelry and other trinkets. Seungkwan wanted Minghao to stand by a side that overlooked the river so that he could take a picture as in his words “to commemorate their first sightseeing spot.” Afterward, he dragged Minghao over to a stand where an older woman was selling unique color beaded bracelets. He brought three claiming the third one is for Joshua. Next was a wine tour in _Piazza Santo Spirito_ that had Seungkwan tasting the most luscious types of wines and a trip to _Galleria dell’ Accademia_ that held Michelangelo’s _The David_. Minghao stood in front of the glass case that housed the gray naked sculpture. He said to Seungkwan this was Michelangelo's most well known artwork; he grazed at the sculpture with a tear falling down his cheek. Seungkwan reached up to wipe the tear around away adoring his boyfriend’s passionate love for art.

  
They strolled down the pavement as the midnight sky brought out the stars and a calm breeze. Seungkwan’s eyes fell on a club where he can hear the music flowing out as young people are mingling outside. He tugged Minghao’s hand in that direction. Inside of the club is a large dance floor illuminated with multicolored lights. Hanging above are skylights switching from red to blue at a rapid speed. A catchy pop song by a singer whose name Seungkwan vaguely remembered is being blasted from a set of speakers on either of the DJ. 

Minghao hugged Seungkwan from behind, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “Sure you can keep up with my dancing.”

Seungkwan twisted around and gave him a suggestive smirk. “Oh I’m sure I can.”

With that they walked onto the dance floor. Seungkwan swayed hips against Minghao’s crotch in a seductive way, but he’s caught by surprise when the latter grabbed hold of his waist and whirled him around taking charge. Minghao rocked his hips placing Seungkwan’s left arm around his shoulder. The dancing gets more heated between the two of them, the grinding getting messy but they didn’t care. Seungkwan threw his arms around the other man’s neck, and he looked into those brown eyes. Eyes that had a wild fire of fiery lust, unlike any other. Seungkwan pulled him in for a kiss; a kiss that shared an intense spark of desire. When they broke apart all it took was one look from Minghao and they both knew.

  
<>

Before Seungkwan can barely close the front door, Minghao is kissing him. They kissed fiercely while accidentally bumping into the back of the dresser in the hallway. With lips still intact, Minghao is gripping for the bedroom door handle. Once it’s open, Seungkwan pushes Minghao onto the bed. He then pulled his shirt over his head and removed his pants and underwear. Minghao stares at the beautiful flesh of his boyfriend who has a slight blush on his face.

“Sorry my body isn’t like yours, all slender and fit.” Seungkwan said shyly. Minghao pulled Seungkwan closer to him trailing, running his hands down the man’s spine and pressed a kiss to his navel.

  
“Your body is breathtaking.” He breathed. He slowly leaned Seungkwan down into the bed hovering above him. He then shed his own clothes and now here they are basking in each other’s vulnerable presence. Minghao licked his lips as reached into the drawer for the bottle of lube. The beating of his heart thudding rapidly and he’s positively sure he can hear Seungkwan’s too. He leaned down and glided his tongue along Seungkwan’s nipple resulting in a shudder from the other. He wanted to take his time with Seungkwan, giving him all the pleasure he deserved. He poured a amount of lube into his hands, the coldness tingling his hand.

“Are you sure you want me to do this?” He asked Seungkwan. Seungkwan simply nodded as he shifted his position on the bed, laying stomach down and legs spread.

“Of course I trust.” 

Minghao is still a little hesitant, as much as wants to do this; he’s worried about hurting Seungkwan yet the other man says he trusts him so there’s nothing to worry about, right? He positioned himself on top of Seungkwan taking a deep breath as he slipped his finger slowly into his entrance. Panic set into him when noticed how Seungkwan’s back got tense. 

“Am I hurting you?

Seungkwan let out a giggle. “No, it’s just that it’s cold. You’re doing fine.”

“Oh.” Minghao blinked, feeling embarrassed. He went back to what he was doing slipping his finger in and out of the hole. When he was sure that Seungkwan was properly prepped, he carefully opened the condom. He keeps mentally telling himself that he can do this. He slowly entered Seungkwan who let out a little whine that nearly had him wanting to pull out yet Seungkwan gripped the back of his neck.

“It’s okay It’s okay, you're doing fine. Keep going.” He muttered.

Minghao hesitated. “Uh are you sure?”

“Yes Yes Yes.”

Minghao kept the pace slow as leaned down to plant kisses on the back of Seungkwan’s neck. For Seungkwan, every stroke is driving him crazy and making his head spin. He gripped the bedsheets feeling himself about to climax. He turned his head and kissed Minghao in a way he never did before. His tongue exploring the inside of the man’s mouth. The kiss is sloppy and wet that’s when Seungkwan cumming all over the bedsheets, body going limp. There’s silence in the room with the exception of the panting coming from the two men. Minghao pushed his sweaty head back from his forehead wrapping Seungkwan in his arms. They are both too lazy to get up and clean the mess. 

Minghao buried his nose in his boyfriend’s strawberry scented hair. “I love you.”

Those three words caused an uncomfortable sensation to form in Seungkwan’s stomach. These past weeks he’s been with Minghao felt like a surge of happiness filled his heart and a joy he hasn’t experienced in awhile. Yet was he ready for their relationship to move in that direction. Was he ready to say those three words back to him? He twisted around to look into those soft brown eyes that had his insides swelled with warmth like a peaceful sunny day. He caressed Minghao’s smooth golden skin with his hand and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Minghao changed him, pulling him out of the darkness and bringing him back into the light. He wanted to spend every waking minute in the glorious presence of this beautiful soul. 

  
“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanna say I'm not a expert at writing smut and definitely not aiming to be one lol.


	50. Chapter 50

*** **September 10, 2008** ***

_Seungkwan is walking down the hallway on his way to his next class when he hears voices right by the stairs- voices that sounded oddly familiar. He peered around the wall and saw Eunwoo sitting on the stairs cradling Jaehyun in his arms and Mingyu standing with a solemn look on his face._

_Seungkwan stepped from behind the wall. “Hey guys what’s going on?” He looked at Jaehyun whose face was completely blank and there’s a distant look in his eyes as Eunwoo was gently rocking him back and forth murmuring something into his right ear._

_Mingyu is the one who spoke when neither boys said anything. He took Seungkwan to the side. “Um there was an accident. Do you know that new security guard, Sangjun?”_

_Seungkwan nodded. “Yeah, what about him?”_

_“Well he uh-”_

_“He raped me.” Jaehyun mumbled. Eunwoo held him closer, afraid to let his boyfriend go._

_Seungkwan blinked ten times thinking he heard wrong. “W-what? He did what? Oh my god Jae.” He dropped to his knees crawling over to his devastated friend cupping his face in his hand. He can see Jaehyun’s eyes are red and puffy and how he wanted to take away the emotionally hurt he must be feeling. “When did this happen?”_

_Jaehyun doesn’t look at Seungkwan, instead he stares at the floor. “T-this morning. I was running late for my Algebra class a-and I was the only one in the hallway at the time.” He took a deep breath. “He came up to me and asked where my pass was and I-I told him I didn’t have one. I tried to walk away from him but then he grabbed my arm and dragged me into the janitor’s closet and….” He trailed off unable to finish his sentence, body visibly shaken._

_Seungkwan didn’t want him to finish. He feels sick even though he wasn’t the one who was assaulted. He used a thumb to stroke Jaehyun’s cold pale cheek thinking about how someone can be so inhuman and vile to do something like that to another person. He feels his blood boiling._

_“I was just about to say we should tell the principal.” Mingyu said. Eunwoo nodded in agreement while Jaehyun remained silent._

_Seungkwan looked up at him. “The principal isn’t going to do anything.” he blurted. There’s silence and when he turns to look back at Jaehyun, he’s staring at Seungkwan with an unreadable look in his eyes._

_“Kwannie is right. The principal isn’t going to do a damn thing. We need to take matters into our own hands.”_

_Eunwoo unlinked his arms from around Jaehyun now giving him a curious look. “What do you mean?”_

_“What I mean is that Sangjun needs to pay for what he did not only to me but to probably other boys at other schools before he started working here. Those who were too afraid to speak. We can’t let him do this to anyone else.”_

_“And what are you suggesting?” Mingyu asked, equally confused._

_Jaehyun grabbed hold of Seungkwan’s hand pressing a soft kiss to the back of his hand. Seungkwan stared into his eyes. Eyes that were filled with red hot anger and revenge._

_“I have a plan.” ___

__

__***_ _

__

__It was Monday afternoon by the time Seungkwan and Minghao returned back to South Korea. The gloomy gray sky is a severe contrast to Florence’s bright sunny sky. The cab driver dropped off Minghao in front of the shop. Before getting out, he cupped Seungkwan’s face in his hands and kissed him. Unlike their other probably hundred kisses, this one felt different- so intimate. He doesn’t think he can never get over how soft his boyfriend’s lips are. How he wanted to kiss those soft lips eternally until they were red and swollen. He stood on the sidewalk watching as the cab drove away. Something inside of him wanted to run after that cab and tell the driver to take them back to the airport. To go back to Florence with his wonderful boyfriend and live there forever in their own little blissful paradise. Unfortunately life, he realized, doesn’t work that way as much he wished it did. He sighed as he made his way into the shop. As usual the inside is empty with the exception of Chan sitting in his usual place behind the counter absentmindedly scrolling through his phone with a hand resting on his chin._ _

__

__When he heard the tinkling of the bell, he looked up. “Oh you back. How was the assignment in Italy?”_ _

__

__Minghao bit the inside of cheek. He felt enormously guilty for lying to his friend but what other choice did have. He put his bag on the counter averting his gaze in fear his eyes might give him away. “You know, typical clean job. Anything happened while I was gone?”_ _

__

__Chan shrugged. “Not really except Jaehyun came by looking for you.”_ _

__

__Minghao frowned. “For what?”_ _

__

__“Dunno. I just told him you were away to Italy for a job.”_ _

__

__Minghao didn’t understand what Jaehyun needed to talk to him about. He shrugged deciding it was probably nothing anyway. “Okay well if you need me, I’m gonna be upstairs. I’m still a little tired.”_ _

__

__Chan, whose eyes were glued to his phone, waved a hand to indicate he heard. Minghao rolled his eyes and shook his head in amusement as he walked around the counter on his way upstairs. Once he’s inside his apartment, he leaned against the door with a weird feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t quite describe this new sensation and that’s when it hits him. He knows exactly what this feeling is:_ love _.__

__

__It’s only been two days since he declared his love to his boyfriend and he still can’t believe it. He loves Seungkwan. He actually loves someone- something he thought would never happen to him in a million years. There was probably a time when he loved his parents but he was just a child at that time so he couldn’t be sure and well they did get killed right in front of him._ _

__

__No this felt different, his love for Seungkwan is making his heart beat fast. Every moment without his precious boyfriend is driving him crazy. He raked a hand through his hair, feeling a sudden urge to text Seungkwan even though they just say goodbye to each other a couple minutes ago. Damn, he thought, is this what being in love does to a person? Is really turning into one of those people who can’t go one minute without thinking about their partner?_ _

__

__Probably._ _

__

__He sighed as he slid down to the floor pulling out his phone and bringing up the keyboard. He loves Seungkwan. He loves Seungkwan so much. He’s falling deeper into this intense hole and there’s no way he can go back now. It’s late too._ _

__

__Seungkwan is now part of his world and he’s planning on keeping it that way._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__Seungkwan beamed. “It’s so cute, right.”_ _

__

__Joshua stared down at the red and blue beaded bracelet in his hand. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked up at the elastic younger man, plastering a smile on his face. “It’s nice, thanks.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan furrowed his brows, titling his head to the side. “You don’t sound happy.”_ _

__

__“I am. Really I am.” Joshua said in a genuine tone. “How was the trip?”_ _

__

__Seungkwan looked around to make sure they were alone. “It was so amazing and more.” He wriggled his eyebrows and griggled. “Guess what else happened, he told me loves me and I told him I Love him too. Can you believe it, Shua. I love Minghao. I mean how couldn’t I. He’s the most perfect human being ever.”_ _

__

__Actually Joshua couldn’t believe it. “You love him? Like really love him?”_ _

__

__“Yes, stop acting so surprised. I’m still a little beat from the flight.” He picked up his bag from the floor. “I’m gonna take a nap before dinner, okay.”_ _

__

__Just minutes after Seungkwan left, Hansol appeared in the living room, hair messy as he covered a hand to his mouth and stifled a yawn. “Just saw Seungkwan in the hallway. Guess he’s back from visiting his mother.”_ _

__

__Joshua realized the bracelet is still in his hand. He hastily shoved it inside his pocket. “Yeah. Since you are up now, do you mind helping me prepare dinner?”_ _

__

__Hansol shrugged. “Sure why not.” He disappeared into the kitchen. As for Joshua, he threw a quick glance at the hallway biting down on his lower lip. It felt like he was dealing with two battles: one in which he is trying his best to not get so involved in Seungkwan’s love life and the other in which he feels guilty for lying to Hansol about who Seungkwan is dating to keep him from relapsing._ _

__

__Joshua sighed as he rubbed his face in frustration wondering how it got to this point where the line at being a good friend to two people is slowly diminishing._ _

__

__< >_ _

__

__The next day Minghao took Seungkwan to a restaurant in the Green Lit District also known as Red Dragon terrority. Neon lights in every color greeted them as smoke was rising from the drainage sewers. Buildings badly in need of repairs looming against the dark blue sky. A hand gripped his arm as he side glanced at the other who hadn't said a word and was looking around._ _

__

__Minghao raised a brow. “Why did you agree to come with me because it looks like you are about to pass out at any moment.”_ _

__

__“I’m not.” Seungkwan said in what he hoped was a confident tone to hide his apprehension. “It’s just that I have never been to this part of town before. Is it, you know,....safe.”_ _

__

__Minghao rolled his eyes not because he was annoyed, he just found Seungkwan’s reaction to be amusing. “Well I wouldn’t say it’s safe but you with me and everybody here knows me so you don’t have to worry about anything.”_ _

__

__“Okay.” Minghao’s reassurance helped to calm him down a little bit as they walked into a small restaurant squished in between two rundown buildings. The inside is quite nice with red covered booths against the golden walls. Hanging on the ceiling are red lanterns with little dragons encrusted on the sides. Minghao leads him to a booth in the back where a red candle is illuminating in the middle of the table. He slid into the booth and Seungkwan wasn’t sure if he should sit by him or across. He decided on the latter because that’s still considered romantic, right?_ _

__

__Minghao looked around. He loved coming here not only for the food but also because he loved the owners, a elderly kind hearted couple who treated him like a son. A woman with her long gray styled in her usual ponytail is approaching their table. He immediately jumped up pecking a kiss to her cheek._ _

__

__“Muquin you getting younger and younger every time I visit.” He exclaimed. She playfully patted his arm._ _

__

__“I see you still have that charm of yours.” The owner wriggled a finger at him. “And who is this cutie you bought into my little establishment.” Her eyes fall on Seungkwan who is confused seeing he didn’t understand a word of the conservation._ _

__

__“This is my boyfriend, Boo Seungkwan.” Minghao translated what he just said to the other man. Seungkwan blushing the same color of the lanterns hanging above. The fact Minghao is comfortable enough to introduce him to other people makes him feel ashamed for not doing the same thing. It’s not like he’s ashamed of being with Minghao, right?_ _

__

__Muquin put her hands on her hip, eyes widening in shock. “My little Minghao has finally found someone. This is truly a miracle from the gods. When can I expect my invitation to the wedding.”_ _

__

__Minghao playfully rolled his eyes at her. “Don’t you think you’re jumping way ahead into the future.”_ _

__

__She laughed her signature warm honey laugh putting a hand to her chest. “Can’t help it you two look so cute together. So the usual?”_ _

__

__Minghao nodded. When she walked away disappearing behind the double doors into the kitchen, he grabbed Seungkwan's hands from across the table pressing a kiss to his knuckle. The man’s hands smell like strawberry._ _

__

__Seungkwan cocked his head to the side in curiosity. “What was she saying to you?”_ _

__

__“Nothing important.” He used a thumb to stroke Seungkwan’s back hand._ _

__

__“Oh okay.” Seungkwan looked out the window at a man across the street who seemed to be having a problem with his car. He’s standing at the side of the car scratching his wispy black hair in confusion. He tore his eyes away from the sight to look back at his boyfriend. “When are you going to take me to China?”_ _

__

__Minghao almost choked on the water he was in the middle of drinking. “H-huh?”_ _

__

__“I wanna go. I’ve never been.”_ _

__

__Minghao swallowed the uncomfortable lump in his throat. “I would love to take you but the thing is that after my parents death I never went back.” He doesn't think he ever could._ _

__

__Seungkwan wanted to facepalm himself. How can he be so stupid. “I’m so sorry, how can I forget what you told me. I feel awful.”_ _

__

__“No it’s okay.” Minghao said quickly. “Don’t be. Maybe one day when I feel confident enough, I will.” He gave Seungkwan’s soft hands a reassuring squeeze. “I wanna take everywhere you want to go. I wanna give you everything your heart desires.” He meant it too._ _

__

__Seungkwan leaned on the table cupping Minghao’s face in his hands placing a kiss on his lips. He still can’t believe he has such an amazing talented person for a boyfriend. “I wanna give you everything too.”_ _

__

__“You kinda can, you’re an heir.” Minghao jokes. Seungkwan sat back in his seat throwing a paper napkin at him. The smell of food filled his nostril. The elder woman placed five plates of delicious looking food in front of them. Everything tasted delicious that by the time he was done, he felt full and placed a hand on his stomach letting out a groan._ _

__

__“I don’t think I can get up and I’m so tired.”_ _

__

__“Well.” Minghao began, moving his fork around his plate of the little remains of the shrimp fried rice looking shyly at the other man. “You can stay at my place tonight.”_ _

__

__Seungkwan gulped at those words. He doesn’t know why all of sudden he feels nervous; it’s not like this would’ve been his first time at Minghao’s place. He’s been there countless times since they began dating. However, unlike those times, this one felt more personal especially after they confessed they love to each other._ _

__

__Minghao seemed to have read his thoughts. He cleared his throat. “Uh of course you don’t have to.”_ _

__

__“Don’t be ridiculous Hao of course I want to spend the night with you.” Seungkwan said softly._ _

__

__A jolt of excitement went up into Minghao’s stomach at Seungkwan’s words. After paying, Minghao swooped up Minquin into a hug promising he would try to visit more often. The cold air settled in as they walked down the street hand in hand, something the old Minghao would’ve never done in a million years. But the new Minghao doesn’t care, he wanted everyone to know he’s with the most beautiful man ever. The streets are empty with the exception of three rowdy men sitting on a porch. One of them yelled out something at Seungkwan that had the other two laughing. Minghao clenched his teeth deciding there was no point in trying to pick a fight with these drunk idiots. He cursed himself for parking so far from the restaurant leaving them with no other choice but to take a shortcut through an alleyway. While walking Minghao didn’t need the tug on his arm or the quiet fearful voice in his ear to know what’s happening._ _

__

__“Minghao I think we’re being followed.” Seungkwan said, slightly clutching the other man's arm._ _

__

__“I know just keep walking okay.” Minghao mumbled, putting a protective hand on Seungkwan’s hip while at the same time his hand gripping the gun in his gray trench coat. He assumed it must be those guys from the porch looking for trouble; they not so quiet footsteps echoing behind them. He didn’t want to resort to shooting anyone, especially not in front of Seungkwan yet that’s the only option in this situation. Suddenly out of nowhere another figure appeared from around the corner wearing a grotesque rabbit mask. The silts of the mask showing a pair of eyes glinting with mischief. The figure is slowly advancing towards them. With three people behind them they were literally trapped as the night air got colder. Seungkwan is trembling with his nails digging deeper into Minghao’s arm._ _

__

__Minghao doesn’t know why he’s stalling. He’s taken out way more people so why is he just standing here. The little voice in the back of his mind is telling him to shoot them already, get it over with. Before he could do anything, a sharp pain erupting into the back of his head sending him straight to the ground. Everything happened so fast. He felt a kick to his stomach and a fist making contact with the side of his face. Despite the kicks and punches, somewhere in the little conscious part of his mind he hears a scream- a scream so terrifying._ _

__

__It happens so quickly. Seungkwan is restrained by a muscular man who wrapped his beefy arms around Seungkwan nearly crushing him as one of the three men who was holding a crowbar swinging it to the back of Minghao’s head. Now he’s on the floor with the three men punching and kicking every part of his body. As for Seungkwan he couldn’t do anything but watch helplessly as his boyfriend is getting assaulted. He frantically squirms in the man’s hold trying to break free but every attempt is failing._ _

__

__“Minghao MINGHAO.” He screamed. “Please please stop please. You’re hurting him.” Why isn’t anyone coming to help them? Surely his screams would have alerted the residents yet he sees no one. The tears are falling down his face. He had to do something or these men were going to kill Minghao. With all the willpower he could muster, he used his foot to back kick the man in the shins. The man let out a shout of pain and Seungkwan used that opportunity to grab the gun hanging out of the man’s pocket. He shot the man in the forefored and he turned the gun on the other three figures; he shot one in the chest, the other in the face and lastly the one with the mask directly in the chest._ _

__

__He immediately dropped the gun rushing over to his badly hurt boyfriend and clutched Minghao’s bloody face in his hands._ _

__

__“Minghao.” Seungkwan whispered using a thumb to stroke the other’s swollen cheek. “Oh Minghao please….please say something.”_ _

__

__Minghao coughed up blood staring at Seungkwan through the slit of his swollen eye. He can see Seungkwan’s tear stained face looking down at him._ _

__

__“S-Seungkwan…..”_ _

__

__“Shhhh don’t say anything else. I’m going to take you to the hospital.” Minghao grabbed hold of Seungkwan's wrist, shaking his head finding it hard to talk with a mouth full of blood._ _

__

__“No...no hospitals….too risky...not far...pool...hall...ask...ask...for...Kun”_ _

__

__He had to get those words out to Seungkwan because the next thing he knew the world around him disappeared into darkness._ _


	51. Chapter 51

Seungkwan is in a state of panic while a semi-conscious Minghao is clinging on to his hip. He’s frantically looking around the street trying to figure out which of these run down establishments could be the pool hall. Around the corner he sees a brown dingy looking building with a large blue neon sign hanging crooked from the side. Seungkwan didn’t know what the sign said because it’s in Chinese but he prayed hoping it was the place. Just as he is about to walk to the front door, he feels a tug on his arm.

“No..no...back door..can’t be seen.” Minghao said weakly. 

Seungkwan is panicking every time he looks at Minghao's badly bruised face and the way he winces with every step he took. He slowly walked around to the back and bangs on the gray steel door. The door opened to reveal a young chinese man with pinkish blonde hair tucked underneath a snapback. His thick black eyebrows rose in shock as he looked from Seungkwan’s fearful face to Minghao’s appearance. He turned his head around and shouted something in Mandarian over his shoulder. Two bulky men appeared in the doorway taking Minghao from Seungkwan’s arms and carried him inside into a badly lit green colored corridor that smelled of cigarette smoke and cheap alcohol. Seungkwan is about to follow the two men who are taking Minghao into a room on the far right when the pinkish blonde haired boy stood in front of him putting a hand up to stop him.

“Sorry, can’t let you go back there.” The boy said in perfect Korean. 

“But I have to be there with him. He’s my boyfriend.” Seungkwan protested. 

The boy shook his head. “I’m sorry but you're gonna have to stay out here until I can patch him up. It won’t take long, trust me. His injuries aren't as bad as you think.” He gave Seungkwan a small reassuring smile before turned and disappeared into the room. 

Seungkwan is alone in the hallway, pacing back and forth, fidgeting with his hands.The boy- who he assumed was Kun- words didn’t help to calm down his worrying. He feels deja vu to the night when Hansol abruptly left the apartment and came back with a bruised face. Just like that night, Seungkwan’s chest is tightening up and it feels like he couldn’t breath. He leaned against the wall closing his eyes and slowly taking deep breaths to calm himself down yet he can’t get the image of Minghao laying on the ground all beaten up and bloody out of his mind. 

“Please be okay.” Seungkwan mumbled under his breath, the tears falling down his face. “Please.”

<>

“Ouch fuck that stings.” 

Kun rolled his eyes, applying more ointment. “What did you expect? I’m almost done so sit still and stop acting like a baby.” 

Minghao scoffed. “A baby. Yeah, right. You’re aware I’m older than you.” 

Kun is putting the last gauze on Minghao’s wound when he frowned. “So do you really think it was them that attacked you?”

“Who else could it have been but those fuckers.” Minghao said darkly. “They must have followed us.” 

Kun shook his head, gathered up the discarded items on the small metal tray. “Heard from one of the guys that last week a Red Dragon was attacked not far from where you were found. Those bastards are getting real bold, coming into Red Dragon territory. You know Yixing is going to hear about this, right.”

Minghao tensed up. Knowing Yixing is going to find out what happened is something he doesn’t want to think about. Everyone knows you can’t hide anything from Yixing- he will always know and the results are never good. 

Kun can see Minghao is concerned so he quickly changes the subject. “Sooo that guy out there...is he really your boyfriend?” The corners of his mouth twitched. 

“Yes and I know what you are thinking..how can someone want to be with the ‘psycho assassin who has a cold heart’.”

“Nah I wasn’t thinking that.” Kun said. “It’s just, you know, surprising. I’m happy for you though.”

Minghao sat up on the bed, sighing. “For some reason I still think he's scared of me.”

“How? He knows what you do for a living.” 

“Yeah but I dunno, I think he’s still uncomfortable with me being a hitman.” 

“Well has he ever seen you kill someone?” Kun asked.

Minghao furrowed his brows. “I mean he did see me kill that software developer in a alleyway a couple of months ago and I did kill a man who was going to rape him. But of those was at a time when we weren’t dating.” 

“Then you should take him to one of your jobs. Maybe if he gets a firsthand experience he won’t be so apprehensive.” Kun suggested. 

“You think so?” 

“It’s worth a shot.” 

Minghao scooted back on the bed, back on the headboard. “You should let him in. He’s probably out there stressing the fuck out.”

His guess is right. Kun barely opened the door wide enough when a pale faced Seungkwan came rushing in. He halted right in front of the bed, scared to come any closer in fear of not wanting to hurt Minghao. He noticed he looked a little better than he did when he arrived here.

“Why’re you standing there? Come here.” Minghao moved over on the bed, arm spread wide. 

Seungkwan bit down on his lower lip before falling onto the bed and buried his head in Minghao’s chest. “Oh Minghao I almost thought I lost you.”

Minghao smoothed down Seungkwan’s hair. “C’mon I’m a member of a gang, I’ve been through worse than this.” he joked. His attempt at humor didn’t help get rid of the scared look on Seungkwan’s face and the way his bottom lip is trembling. “You really took out those four guys.”

“I didn’t want to kill them.” Seungkwan whispered, rubbing circles on Minghao’s bare chest. “If I didn’t do something they were going to...kill you.” In the midst of everything that happened tonight, he forgot about the four people he killed. _Just more bodies added to the list, he thought miserably_. 

“Hey do you hear me complaining.” Minghao said softly. “What you did was self defense.” 

Seungkwan stared down at the patched red carpet. “It doesn’t feel like it.” He said quietly.

Minghao reached over and grabbed the clean black T-shirt from the empty chair by him and pulled it over his head, pressing a kiss to Seungkwan’s forehead. “Come on let’s go home.”

<>

“And you are positively sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Of course I know what I’m doing. Back in my day I used to be quite the rebel, always had a different hair color every week.”

Hansol rolled his eyes. “Y’know when you say things like ‘back in my day’, it just reminds me how old you really are.”

It’s after 9 p.m. and him and Joshua are in the bathroom. A couple of days ago he noticed how his natural roots were starting to grow back underneath his blonde hair so he decided that it was time for him to dye his hair. Of course he could’ve gone back to the salon Mingyu took him to but he really didn’t want to go back to the place that reminded him of the other things that happened that day. So his other choice was asking Joshua who seemed a little bit too eager. 

Joshua playfully whacked him on the back of the head. “Hey I’m not that old.”

Hansol snickered. “If you say so.” He loved moments like these when he and Joshua have casually back and forth banter in English. It’s been four months since the therapist temporarily moved into the apartment and Hansol is growing more accustomed to him being here. Even the man’s lame board games aren’t bothering him anymore. “Just to let you know, if you fuck up my hair don’t think I won’t sue you for damages.”

Joshua mixed the dye, rolled his eyes sacraticstaly “Yeah because you're definitely gonna get a lot from a therapist’s salary.” 

Thirty minutes later when Joshua washed the dye out, Hansol looked in the mirror getting ready to make a fuss. Yet to his surprise, his hair is back to the way it looked before being blonde. “Damn looks like I won’t be murdering you after all.”

He helped Joshua clean up the mess in the bathroom. After that, he retreated back to the bedroom laying down on the bed. He stared at the ceiling and sighed. Lately he’s been having a hard time falling asleep. At first he assumed this was one of the symptoms of AWS but it’s been awhile since he’s experiencing any symptoms- the vomiting and intense headaches have stopped. So what else could it be? 

He has a feeling he knows what exactly it is. For five years he has shared this bed with Seungkwan. Every night he held Seungkwan in his arms while the other talked about his day at work whether it was about something small or a co-worker that irritated him. For Hansol, he would listen to every word that came out of Seungkwan’s mouth while fondly watching him. Now things are different. The bed that used to feel warm just feels like any other bed- too much space for one person. 

There’s a tap on the door. Joshua poked his head in. “Just came by to say good night.” 

Hansol sat up. “Actually there’s something I wanna ask you. Lately I’m having trouble falling to sleep and I was wondering if ,you know, could sleep with me.” He wanted to facepalm himself. He could have worded that in a better way. 

Joshua stands there in the doorway, a look of hesitation on his face. 

“Just this one night.” Hansol added quickly. He expected Joshua to say no he couldn’t and leave. However after a couple of seconds, he slowly walked towards the bed and lowered himself down on the mattress.

“If this wasn’t my first time being in a bed with a man, I would definitely think this is weird.” Joshua said.

Hansol popped himself on his elbow, facing the other man. “What do you mean? Wait..are you gay?”

“Bi.” Joshua admitted. “You don’t sound surprised.”

Hansol shrugged. “Kinda had a feeling but I didn’t want to ask, you know.”

“Well now you know.”

“Why’re you single?” Hansol asked in an almost accusation tone.

Joshua put his hands behind his head. “Because it’s hard to date when you’re a therapist who has so many patients to worry about.” He let out a slight chuckle. “ Also the last relationship I was in, which technically wasn’t a real relationship, didn’t end well. The guy...he got hooked on some bad drugs and ended up-” he paused, this is something he doesn’t like to talk about. “Well like I say it didn’t end well.” he mumbled.

Hansol scooted closer to him. “I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sure you won’t have a problem finding someone else. You may be annoying as hell but you are good looking.”

“You think I’m good looking?”

“I don’t think, I know.” Hansol leaned down and pressed lips to Joshua’s. Five minutes their lips stay intact. Hansol got on top of Joshua while Joshua gripped the back of the other’s hair. That’s when Joshua put a hand on Hansol’s chest.

“I-I can’t do this.” He said hastily, quickly sitting up. “I’m sorry Hansol this isn’t right.” 

“Right? Are you saying that because the thought of having sex with me is replusive.” Hansol narrowed his eyes, getting off of him.

“No it’s just-”

Hansol squeezed his eyes shut. “You know what, get out. Please I wanna be left alone.”

“Hansol-” Joshua began softly, he reached out a hand but the other moved quickly away from him.

“You heard me, get the fuck out.” Hansol snapped at him. “Now.”

Joshua did what he was told and quietly got up from the bed, he stood in the doorway for a minute wanting to say something but eventually he turned and closed the door behind him.

Hansol brought his knees up to his chin. He feels so stupid. What the fuck is wrong with him? Didn’t he learn his lesson the last time he ruined a friendship and he probably just ruined another one.

“Why am I such a fucking screw up? Why can’t I do anything right?” He mumbled under his breath, wiping the tear from the corner of his eye. He laid back down on his side staring miserably at the peaceful night sky, hating himself even more than he already did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know when the next update is going be lol because I'm going busy for a couple of days. Just wanna point out Minghao is the reason for the possessive behavior tag and that's all I'm saying for now....
> 
> Everyone have a good day or week. Be back soon


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long ass chapter because there's a lot going on lol
> 
> A member makes a appearance( he hasn't been mention but two times for a reason) 
> 
> tw// torture (it's not graphic)

The next morning, Hansol walked into the kitchen to see a calm Joshua dressed in his usual sweater vest and khaki pants sitting with legs crossed at the kitchen table slipping a cup of coffee and reading something on his tablet. 

Hansol had no idea how he was going to start this but he knew he had to say something before he chickened out. He cleared his throat. 

“Um Josh about last night, I just wanna say that I’m deeply sorry for what I did. I know I completely crossed the line and-“ 

Joshua held up a hand. “There’s no need to go on. I accept your apology.” He smiled at him. “Let’s pretend last night never happened, okay.” 

Hansol rubbed the back of his neck. “Okay. It’s just that I appreciate our friendship and everything and the fact that I almost fucked it up being stupid… as usual.” 

“Everyone has a moment of weakness where they do reckless things without thinking. It’s understandable.” Joshua said. 

_Except I do that often_ , Hansol thought. “Yeah I guess. So we cool?”

“Of course we cool.” Joshua smiled at him again.

Hansol sat down right by him on the stool. A huge weight lifted from his chest. “Just to let you know if rated kisses were a thing, I’ll probably rate you at four.” 

Joshua playfully shoved him. “Hey I’m not a bad kisser anyway how is your list of forgiving people going?” 

“Well I apologized to my father and Mingyu. The only person left is Seungkwan.” He stared down at his hands. “The only problem with that is-“ 

“He’s never home.” Joshua finished quietly. It was something he also noticed too. Seungkwan has been spending a large amount with Minghao that there’s days he doesn’t come home at all. 

“Yeah and it’s not like I’m putting it off. I really wanna talk to him.” 

Joshua placed his hand on top of Hansol’s. “And you will trust me.” 

<>

Minghao is in the middle of making breakfast when there’s a knock on the door. Standing in the doorway is Chan. 

“Chan, what are you doing here?” Minghao stepped aside to let him in. 

Chan stared wide eyed at him. “Dude look at you. So it’s true then, there have been muttering going around that a couple of Taemin’s guys attacked you and someone killed them. 

Of course no one in the Red Dragons knows who Seungkwan is, something he’s definitely thankful for. “Yeah, I’ll have to pay them back in kindness.” He said darkly.

Chan shook his head. “That’s crazy man. Who were you wi-“ 

He stopped talking when he saw a messy haired Seungkwan emerging from Minghao’s bedroom in a shirt that definitely wasn’t his. 

“Oh hey Chan.” Seungkwan put a hand over his mouth and stifled a yawn.

Chan looked from him to Minghao, a look of disgust on his face. “Unbelievable.” He turned and walked out of the door. 

Minghao managed to catch up to him before he went down the stairs and grabbed hold of his arm. “Chan hold up I can explain.” 

Chan jerked his arm from the grip. “There’s nothing you can explain, Hao. So when you told me you went to Italy for a special assignment. you actually went with him. Do you realize by sleeping with him you jeopardize the whole damn plan.” 

Minghao placed his hands on his friend’s shoulders. “I can have sex with someone and not catch feelings. I’ve done it plenty of times before.” Every word he spoke was more lies. 

Chan wrinkled his nose. “Alright as long as you don’t give me details about what you and the rich boy do in the bedroom.” 

Minghao chuckled. “I won’t.” He formed his hand in a fist. “So everything is good?” 

Chan fist bumped him. “Yeah man you know it.” 

Minghao walked back into his apartment to see Seungkwan standing in the living room, a confused look on his face. 

“What was that all about?” 

“Oh you know how Chan. He literally hates 99% of people, all antisocial and shit.” 

“Oh okay.” Seungkwan threw his arms around Minghao; a hand softly caressed the bruise on his cheek. “Does it still hurt?” 

Minghao kissed him. “How many times do I have to tell you I’m a warrior and I've been through worse shit than a couple of bruises.” 

“I know, but I can’t help it because I’m worried.” Seungkwan said softly, placing his hands on Minghao’s chest. 

“You have nothing to worry about. You’re too cute for that. Now let’s drop this and have breakfast.” 

Seungkwan bit down on his lip staring at the clock on the wall. “Actually I have to get going.” 

“C’mon can you at least have breakfast first before you go? Please.” Minghao gave him a puppy dog look. 

There was no way Seungkwan could say no, not with the way Minghao has that adorable puppy look on his face. “Alright you won.” 

Minghao kissed Seungkwan again and lifted him off his feet (years of lifting weights made him quite strong) and placed on the kitchen counter. “Good. You don’t know how I can’t get enough of you. Every bit of you.” He planted kisses on Seungkwan’s neck. 

Seungkwan closed his eyes, moaned slightly at the kisses. “I thought you wanted to have breakfast first.” 

“I do but first.” Minghao slid his hand underneath Seungkwan’s shirt, rubbing at his nipple. “I want you so bad.” 

“But you had me last night plus we were in the kitchen and I’m dirty.” Seungkwan tried to protest but it was hard with the way Minghao is roaming his hands all over his body.

Minghao parted Seungkwan’s legs, putting himself in between. He’s already managed to pull Seungkwan’s shirt off. “So what? I’m dirty too. That’s what makes it even better.” 

“Mmm can’t deny that.” Seungkwan put his hands on the drawstring of Minghao’s sweatpants pulling them down. They kissed passionately. Minghao cherished every kiss, the way Seungkwan’s tongue felt in his mouth. The way he held him tightly. 

It was moments like these he wanted to savor forever and never let go. He needed Seungkwan in ways he never imagined. It was that thought that scared him the most.

<>

After a quick shower and getting dressed, they finally sat down and had breakfast. Seungkwan tried to enjoy the food but a sad feeling crept into the sick. He hated leaving, wishing he could stay in Minghao’s apartment and get back into bed and let his boyfriend hold him in arms until they both fell asleep. Unfortunately, he realized all good things must come to an end. 

Minghao seemed to sense something was wrong. “Everything ok?” He reached and grabbed Seungkwan’s hand from across the table. 

“I don’t wanna leave.” Seungkwan murmured, using his thumb to caress the back of Minghao’s hand. 

“You don’t have to.” 

Seungkwan sighed. “You know I have to.” He really didn’t have a choice. 

Minghao almost felt the urge to tell Seungkwan to move in but he thought back to what Kun said. He knows Seungkwan, who constantly says the whole hitman thing doesn’t bother him anymore, yet Minghao isn’t convinced. 

“Listen Seungkwan I was wondering if you were not busy tomorrow night that maybe you wanted to come to one of my jobs.” 

Seungkwan’s eyes widened. “Your job? Like what you do to…” 

“Yes.” Minghao finished for him. He secretly hoped Seungkwan would say no or perhaps call him ridiculous. However he leaned over the table and pressed a kiss on Minghao’s cheek. 

“Of course.” 

Minghao blinked. “Really?” 

“Yeah I don’t mind.” Seungkwan said. Okay maybe he was a little scared but he was also curious too.

After that they embraced one more time before Seungkwan departed. Minghao stood in the window watching as Seungkwan got into his car and drove off. He sighed thinking this was a bad idea but only tomorrow night would prove if his prediction is right. On the other hand before he could take his relationship with Seungkwan to the next level this was the only way to get his boyfriend to be unafraid of him anymore. 

Minghao turned away from the window and collected the dishes from the table, that feeling of emptiness overtaking him again every time Seungkwan was gone. 

He needed someone to talk to about this-these feelings he had. Chan was definitely not a option; that kid would rather talk about different gruesome torture methods than about romance. He really didn’t have any friends in the Red Dragons so that left him with one person he knew he could talk to. 

It was time for him to visit an old friend he hasn’t seen in awhile. 

<>

When Seungkwan arrived at the apartment he heard the television in the background and Joshua sitting at the kitchen counter with his phone pressed to his ear, brows furrowed. Upon Seungkwan walking into the kitchen, he quickly says a few words to the person on the other line before hanging up. 

“Seungkwan, can I speak to you for a moment?” 

Seungkwan sat down on a stool right by the therapist. “Sure what’s up?” 

“You know how much I love being here taking care of Hansol and making sure things are running smoothly. But the thing is being here is causing me to have to reschedule appointments with my patients who also need my help too.” 

Seungkwan titled his head, biting down on his lower lip. “I understand Joshua I really do but this whole relationship thing with Minghao is still new to me. Listen he’s taking me somewhere tomorrow night.” He left out the part about where exactly to avoid unnecessary panic. “After that I promise I’ll be here more often to help with Hansol duties, okay.”

Joshua sighed. “Okay I guess a couple of more days being here won’t hurt.”

Seungkwan got up and gave the man a tight hug. “Thank you so much Shua you are an amazing friend and I owe you for this. I need to get ready for work.” With that he walked out of the kitchen.

Joshua stared down at the blank screen of his phone. “Amazing friend….right.”

<>

Minghao arrived at the prison by 11 a.m. The sky is gloomy gray color with sprinkles of rain falling onto the ground. Not having his gun made him feel vulnerable; there’s never a time he didn’t have it. He was buzzed through a pair of hard steel doors and had to go through a metal detector. For some reason he doesn’t like prisons maybe because he knows 50 % of Yixing’s enemies are probably sitting behind these bars. A guard leads him to the empty visitor area where he sits in one of the hard cold chairs. A door on the far left side opens and another guard is leading a messy brown haired man in an orange jumpsuit into the area. The guard took off the handcuffs on the man’s wrist to which the brown haired man bowed to the guard who rolled his eyes at him. The man turned his attention to Minghao, a wide smile broke out on his face causing his eyes to descend into half crescents. He spread his arms around.

“Hao, my good friend, what the hell are you doing here?” He said in a rather loud tone.

Minghao shook his head in amusement. “I’m glad to see that prison hasn’t changed Kwon Soonyoung one bit.” They embraced in a hug before Soonyoung sat down across from Minghao.

“But seriously dude what are you doing here?”

“Well...I’m in love.” Minghao didn’t know why those words caused his stomach to flutter. Maybe because he really meant it.

Soonyoung raised his brows. “So you telling me you came all the way down here to tell me that?”

“No there’s more.” Minghao looked down at his hands. “The guy I’m dating it’s like the feelings I have for him are so intense and it’s scaring me so damn much I don’t know what to do. But the crazy thing is that I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with him in the first place yet every minute I can’t help but think of him. When you were dating that Jihoon guy did you feel like this?”

Soonyoung put his arms on the table, the enormous tiger tattoo on his left arm clearly visible underneath his rolled up sleeve. “I mean I did have feelings for him but it wasn’t,you know, in the way you are feeling about this guy. I really didn’t get a chance to know a lot about Jihoon considering the fact I stole from him and all.” 

Minghao put his head down on the cold table. “Great so I’m doom then. There’s no way I can change these feelings for him.”

Soonyoung extended his hand and ruffled the man’s hair. “Probably not.” He said softly. “These feelings you have for him shouldn’t be a bad thing, right? So why make yourself suffer besides everyone deserves to be loved even those who don’t deserve it.” He mumbled, a look of regret on his face.

“Yeah you right.” Minghao sighed, getting to his feet. “Thanks for the talk, man. I’m still going to see you on the other side in a few months, right?”

“You know it.” Soonyoung flung an arm around Minghao’s shoulders, he lowered his voice. “I think these guards are getting tired of me.” He looked at the guard who was standing right by the door with a clearly annoyed look on his face. 

After the talk with his friend, Minghao felt a little better. Once outside of the prison he took a deep breath and looked up at the gray sky.

That’s when he knew what he had to do now.

<>

“Minghao to what I owe you this visit.” Jaehyun stared at him, putting down the pen in his hand. 

Minghao crossed his arms. “I came here to tell you there needs to be a change in the plan. The change be that Seungkwan doesn’t get framed.” 

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes. “What are you talking about? The whole purpose of this plan is for Seungkwan to get _framed_.” A smirk appeared on his face. “I see what’s going on here. When I asked Chan why you went to Italy, you went there with Seungkwan, didn’t you. Let me guess you fucked him and now you're catching feelings I see.”

“That’s none of your damn business.” Minghao snapped. 

“And I wonder how poor little Channie is going to feel if he knew his friend cared more about his fucktoy than him. What a shame.” 

Minghao whipped out his gun and pointed it directly at Jaehyun’s forehead. “Don’t pretend you give a shit about Chan and don’t ever talk about Seungkwan like that.” 

Jaehyun didn’t seem a bit fazed with the gun pointed at him instead his lips curled into a sneer. “Boo Seungkwan isn’t the perfect angel you think he is. He has secrets- _dark secrets.”_

“He’s way better than you so unless this plan gets changed it looks like the deal is off. Find someone else to kill Hansol because I’m not.” He put his gun back in his pocket and walked out of the study without saying anything else.

The sneer on Jaehyun’s face fell immediately, replaced with a look of fury. He picked up the snowglobe that was sitting on the desk and threw it at the closed door watching as it shattered to pieces. 

“Fuck.” He screamed. His heart is pounding rapidly as he’s pacing back and forth running his fingers frantically through his hair. He can’t believe this is happening. Everything he planned is falling apart because that little rich fucker is ruining it.

He reached into his pocket pulling out the photo of a happy little boy sitting on the shoulders of a man who was also smiling. A beautiful clear ocean in the background. Despite the image having faded throughout the years, he carries this photo everyday- as a reminder.

“I’m not gonna let him get away for what he did to you, Dad.” Jaehyun whispered to the photo. “What he did to us. I’m gonna make him pay one way or the other.” 

<>

Friday night came around and Minghao was in the driver’s seat with Seungkwan in the passenger and Chan in the back heading in the direction of the warehouse. He glanced sideways at Seungkwan only to see the other staring straight ahead with a blank look on his face. Minghao cleared his throat. 

“You know it’s not too late if you don’t want to go. I can turn the car back around and-“ 

Seungkwan reached over and grabbed Minghao’s hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel. “You asked me to come. I’m okay, really.” His lips curled into a small smile as he gave Minghao’s hand a quick reassuring squeeze. So maybe he’s lying a little bit. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous it’s not like he’s going to be killing anyone but still he can’t shake that unsettling feeling in his stomach. 

Chan leaned in. “Seems like someone is scared.” 

Seungkwan turned around. “I’m not.” 

“That fearful look in your eyes beg to differ.” Chan snorted. “No use in trying to put up some brave facade, rich boy.” 

“Has anyone ever told you that you are too young to be this damn bitter.” 

“There’s literally a two year age difference between us so who the fuck you calling young.” 

“We're here.” Minghao said wearily putting a stop to the bickering. He parked the car on the side of the clobbered road. The three of them walked to the warehouse in silence. He linked his hand into Seungkwan’s hand while not looking at him hoping to send a silent message that everything is going to be okay.

<>

Seungkwan has never been inside this enormous warehouse. It’s eerily dark inside with piles of boxes stacked everywhere and crates on the floor with words on the top written in a foreign language. He assumed this warehouse is probably used for illegal activities, he wanted to ask but that’s not his main concern right now. They walked down into another hallway which he realized was extremely cold. He slightly shuddered and hugged himself until he felt a warm material being draped over his shoulder( he could’ve sworn he heard Chan snort). 

Minghao pushed open the door to reveal a huge walk-in freezer with meats hanging from hooks. Seungkwan is confused as to why they are in here until he sees the sight in front of him that made his blood go cold that had nothing to do with the environment. Hanging from a meat hook is a naked man who seemed semi conscious. It was hard to determine whether the man was young or old because his skin was shivered up and turning blue from being in here for so many hours. 

“What...what are you going to do to him.” Seungkwan said quietly. He saw the reluctant look on Minghao’s face as if he didn’t want to say.

“Flaying.” 

“Wait doesn’t that mean being-“ 

“Skinned alive, yeah.”

Seungkwan swallowed the lump in his throat. He watched as Minghao approached the man tapping him on the cheek.

“Wakey wakey.” He said lightly. “You know it was kinda hard finding you Minho it took me a while. I thought you’ll be smart enough to stay in the Bahamas especially when you sold that whole shipment of bad drugs to Lay. But the way I was able to get you to come back to South Korea under false pretenses I gotta say I guess you’re not smart like I thought. Am I right?” 

The man mumbled some words wriggling even though his hands are bound by duct tape. Minghao let out a small chuckle. 

“Mmm cat got your tongue. I know how I can get you to talk. Chan, give me the scalpel.” 

Chan pulled out a scalpel from inside a black duffel bag. This wasn’t the type of scalpel that doctors used; this one was bigger and sharper. 

Minghao gliding a finger on the edge of the scalpel keeping his eyes fixated on the man in front of him. 

“Well Minho any last words.” He said in an emotionless tone. The man didn’t say anything. 

“Alright fine.” Minghao placed the scalpel on the man’s- Minho- cheek scraping a layer of skin off. Minho let out a scream as Minghao continued. With each layer of skin he removed, Minho’s painful creams got louder and louder. Seungkwan now understands why this warehouse in the middle of nowhere was chosen as a torture site because he’s certain no one can hear the screams of victims. After a couple of minutes. Minho stopped screaming as if he knew it didn’t matter anymore. Hanging from that meat hook now is a skinless bloody human being with layers of flesh shattered on the floor.

Seungkwan couldn’t take it anymore. 

He turned and ran out of that warehouse into the cool night. He placed an unsteady hand on the wall taking deep breaths before he vomited. 

<>

With blood all over his hands Minghao turned around, frowning. “Where’s Seungkwan?” 

Chan jerked his head in the direction of the open door. “Ran out. Dunno why you brought him along.” 

Cursing under his breath, Minghao ran out the door despite the fact he’s covered in blood. He looked around until he saw Seungkwan retched in a bush.

“Seungkwan.” He ran over and placed a hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles. “Hey baby are you okay. I know seeing that was disturbing for you.” He made a mental note to never take advice from Kun again. 

A tear faced Seungkwan straightened up wiping his mouth. “T-that’s not why I was throwing up because of that.” 

“You don’t have to lie.” Minghao said softly. “You've never been exposed to stuff like this before, I understand.”

“Please Hao shut up just stop.” Seungkwan said weakly. “You have no idea who I am. You don't really know me.” 

Minghao thinks back to what Jaehyun told him. 

_“Boo Seungkwan isn’t the perfect angel you think he is. He has secrets- dark secrets"_

“I may not know you the way you think but I do know that I love you.” He cupped Seungkwan’s chin in his hand, gently stroking his cheek.

“Will you still love me if I told you I killed two people.” Seungkwan said in a small voice. 

Seungkwan’s words left a silence in the air with the only noise coming from the tree branches hitting against the warehouse’s ceiling. Minghao looked into those eyes full of so many emotions he couldn’t pick out one. The silence between them is broken by Chan.

“YO we leaving or what?” He called out.

Mingaho didn’t say anything as he took hold of Seungkwan’s hand. Silent tears were still falling down the latter’s face as they walked away from the warehouse. Chan drove while Minghao and Seungkwan sat in the backseat. He’s holding Seungkwan in his arms while looking out the window. All he can think about is what Seungkwan said. 

And the answers he needed to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going save this announcement for the end but I'm planning on writing a sequel so some details are vague for that reason.


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright it's been implied throughout this fic that Jaehyun, Eunwoo, Mingyu and Seungkwan did sometheing when they were teenagers. Now you going to finally figure out what they actually did. There's two flashbacks in this chapter so when you see this (***) it means a end of a flashback 
> 
> tw// homophobic language

Seungkwan is sitting on the moldy bedsheets with his chin tucked underneath his knees. They decided to stay at a motel since it was late- the same motel he was taken to three months when he barely knew Minghao and was highly scared of him. Only this time around it's Chan who is staying in a room by himself while he and Minghao are sharing a room. In any other circumstance he would find this ironic but not right now. It’s only been 20 minutes since he told Minghao the revelation he’s been hiding for so long. 

The sound of the toilet flushed as Minghao emerged from the bathroom. He got into the bed putting his hands around Seungkwan’s waist and nested his chin on his shoulder. 

“Seungkwan, back there at the warehouse you told me that you killed two people.” He said softly, gently tucking a hair strand behind Seungkwan’s ear. “What...what did you mean by that?”

Seungkwan bit down on his lower lip as he stared at the rusty brown radiator in the distance. He’s trying to hold back the tears that are on the verge of falling down.The secret he’s been hiding for so many years. The guilt that has been eaten away at him for so long. 

“I-this is something I haven’t told anyone. Not my mom, Joshua or even Hansol. I was scared if...if I told them they would be ashamed of me. I’m scared if I tell you that you m-may not love me anymore.” He twisted around using a thumb to softly stroke Minghao’s cheek. 

Minghao pressed a soft kiss to Seungkwan’s lips. “Whatever you tell me I promise I won’t love you any less, kwannie.” He rarely used this nickname but he hoped it would calm Seungkwan down at least.

Seungkwan turned back around, laying the back of his head on Minghao’s chest. He can’t bear to tell this story while looking at his boyfriend. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

“Do you know that movie, The Secrets We Keep, and how it’s allegedly based on a true story...well it kinda is. About one fateful September night twelve years ago.”

*** **September 16, 2008** ***

The car is silent as no one is saying anything. Seungkwan is fidgeting with his hands in his lap. It’s only been a couple of days since Jaehyun approached them about the plan for his revenge on Sangjun and now the day has come and needless to say Seungkwan is extremely nervous. A pair of warm tanned hands covered him as Mingyu, who was sitting in the back seat with him, gave him a small reassured smile. Seungkwan tried to reciprocate the action but it felt like his lips were glued shut together instead he gave the other’s hand a squeeze. Upon facing forward he saw that Jaehyun was staring at them from the rearview mirror, at the entwined hands. Sometimes it’s so easy for him to read people but when it came to Jaehyun it was so hard like he was staring at a book with blank pages. It scared him.

“We're here.” Jaehyun said, parked the car on the curb of a narrow gravel road. 

“Where exactly are we?” Eunwoo asked, squinting his eyes in the darkness. They were surrounded by nothing but trees.

“You’ll find out when we get there.” Jaehyun replied, setting off down a narrow pathway. Eunwoo merely shrugged his shoulders at his boyfriend’s not helpful advice as he followed him. Seungkwan and Mingyu exchanged uneasy looks as they walked down the pathway too. Seungkwan felt that uncomfortable lump in his throat with every step he took to whatever they were going. The more he thought about this plan, the more unhinged he was feeling. He was wondering if Mingyu was feeling the same way as he threw a sideway glance at him only to see the taller boy staring straight ahead and remaining silent. He wanted to ask but his mouth felt so dry;so he chose to remain quiet as well. They finally arrived in front of a rusty broken down toolshed. Jaehyun put his hand on the handle, turning to look back at the three boys with a serious expression on his face. 

“This is it. There’s no turning back now, understand?” His eyes shifted from Eunwoo to Mingyu to Seungkwan that lingered on for a couple of seconds. Jaehyun’s intense stare had Seungkwan hanging his head low until he felt a finger under his chin lift his head up. 

“Hey.” Jaehyun said calmly, using a thumb to stroke the boy’s cheek. “There’s nothing to worry about, okay? Please believe in me. Please.” He pressed a kiss to the corner of Seungkwan’s mouth. Seungkwan stared into those emotionless eyes and numbly nodded his head. 

“Alright here we go.” Jaehyun pushed open the door. The inside is dark with the exception of a lone lightbulb hanging from the ceiling and in the center of the toolshed bound to a chair is a man wearing only his boxers. His face is badly bruised beyond recognition; both eyes sprouted a black eye and a busted lip. Seungkwan wondered if the man was still alive until he saw the man slightly squirming in the chair.

Jaehyun approached the chair, tapping the man’s right cheek. “Wake the fuck up Sangjun. Don’t be so rude I’ve familiar guests for you.” 

Sangjun opened up his busied eye and let out a snort. “So you really brought a bunch of faggots here, huh. Why I’m not surprise considering you probably the biggest fucking faggot of all.”

Seungkwan is shocked at the nerve of Sangjun to speak to Jaehyun like this and he’s surprised that the boy let out a laugh.

“You’re very right about that. I am a faggot and damn proud.” He walked towards a table and lifted up a blanket revealing four hammers. He picked up one of them turning to look back at Sangjun, a wide smile on his face. “Kinda find it iconic you resorting to using slurs considering the fact you raped a boy so what does that make you hmm. Oh right a fucking homophobic bastard.” He brought the hammer down on Sangjun’s left hand, the sound of broken bones echoing throughout the toolshed. However Sangjun simply gritted his teeth not wanting to give this boy any satisfaction from torturing him. He had too much pride for that. 

“You motherfucking psycho.” He spat at Jaehyun. “My wife-”

“Divorced you three years ago and doesn’t care about whereabouts.” Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “She probably knew what kind of man she was married to- a disgusting piece of shit. You see Sangjun I did some research on you. I know for a fact before you became a security guard at Greenwood Academy, you just happened to be a security guard at three different all boys schools. I also know for a fact you were accused of sexually assaulting four boys but somehow those accusations magically disappeared and the victims were probably paid hush money by your pedophile friends who helped to keep your record clear.” Jaehyun tossed the hammer in the air and caught it in his hand. “Unfortunately it looks like your luck has ended because you’re seriously messing with the one person this time.” 

Jaehyun brings the hammer down on Sangjun’s other hand resulting in the man throwing his head back letting out a shout of pain. He turned to look at Eunwoo, Mingyu and Seungkwan. 

“Fellas we're gonna teach Sangjun here a lesson. We’re going to beat him to death until he’s nothing more than a bloody pile of mess.” 

Jaehyun grows slightly irritated at the way the three boys are still standing there. “Well what are you guys waiting for? Pick up a fucking hammer and come on.”

Mingyu threw a hesitant look at Eunwoo who simply shrugged even though he also seemed apprehensive about the whole thing. He picked up a hammer and stood by Jaehyun’s side. Mingyu, however, is still standing there biting down on his lower lip. He turned to Seungkwan who hasn’t said a word since they arrived here. His back is against the wall, horror struck eyes looking at Sangjun. Jaehyun’s patient is growing thn as he narrowed his eyes on them.

“What the hell is wrong with you two? C’mon. We’ve to do this, don’t you understand. Did you forget what he did to me.”

Mingyu gulped and with shaky hands picked up a hammer, however, Seungkwan remained mute with his knees feeling like they were about to unbuckle at any minute. Jaehyun walked towards him, grabbing the boy’s hands. 

“Kwannie please.” He said softly to Seungkwan, gently rubbing his hands. “I need you to do this. Not only for me but for the other boys who he did this to. He’s a monster and deserves to be punished.”

Sangjun spit out a mouthful of blood on the ground. “That fairy ain’t gonna do shit.” He sneered. “Look at him, the scary sissy looks like he’s about to shit in pants.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Eunwoo snarled. 

Sangjun continued.“That’s the problems with you people, faggots. Wanna act tough when in reality you can’t do shit. I know a lot about,boy.” He said to Seungkwan. “Yejun told me you were a good fuck compare to the others he was with.” 

Mingyu clutched the handle of the hammer in his hands. “Don’t fucking talk to him like that.” He growled.

“Or what? I’m a little surprised that you are one of them.” Sangjun jeered, face etched with disgust at Mingyu. “Does your old man know the disgusting shit you doing or maybe he does. I know if you were my son, I would’ve immediately sent you to one of those conversion camps to squash out all of that gay shit out if you.” He spat blood right by Mingyu’s feet.

Seungkwan felt anger building inside him. It was something that Jaehyun noticed as he picked up the remaining hammer on the table, holding it out.

“Do you hear him?” Do you hear the way he’s talking to us, kwannie? Do you really want him to live?” Jaehyun whispered, eyes bore into Seungkwan’s. 

“Jae I-I don’t think I can do this.” Seungkwan said weakly, shaking his head. “I-”

“Yes you can. I know you can.” Jaehyun placed a hand on the boy’s cheek, softly caressing the flesh. “You’ve to believe in yourself.” 

Seungkwan took the hammer out of Jaehyun’s hand and it felt like he was in trance; his legs moving even though his mind felt like it was somewhere else. He’s now standing in front of Sangjun who didn’t seem a bit scared with what’s about to happen. The sneer still intact on his face as he stared at Seungkwan. 

“C’mon boy do it. Have some backbone. Do it. Kill me.” Sangjun sneered,bloody lips curling into a twisted smile. This is clearly a face of a man who didn’t care about his fate. “C’mon kill me fucking kill me, sissy. Be a man even though you’re not.” 

“Don’t call me that.” Seungkwan said quietly, the hand with the hammer is shaking badly. 

“Call you what? A sissy.” The man taunted him. “Ooo is the baby faggot about to cry now, stupid despicable piece of shit.” Sangjun spat out a mouthful of blood that landed right on Seungkwan’s face. 

And that’s when Seungkwan lost it. He raised the hammer and smashed it straight down on Sangjun’s head, watching as blood started streaming down his face. Horrified, he turned to the three boys; Mingyu and Eunwoo both had identical shocked looks on their face meanwhile Jaehyun’s face broke into a wide grin.

“Damn Seungkwan I didn’t know you had it in you to do something like that.” He breathed, watching as Sangjun’s lolled to his side yet the man is remarkably still alive breathing hard. 

“I-I didn’t mean to I- he-” Seungkwan spluttered, eyes widened in horror at what he just did. Jaehyun gently cupped Seungkwan’s face.

“Do you hear me complaining, baby.” Jaehyun pressed a kiss to his lips, letting go of his face as he strided over to the semi-conscious man roughly grabbing a fistful of his hair. “I think it’s time we finish what kwannie started.” He slammed the hammer against Sangjun’s right cheek causing the man to holler in pain. “Aww what happened to your little brave facade you had a minute ago, huh? I think it’s time for us to take out the trash for good.” 

He looked at Eunwoo, Mingyu and Seungkwan. Eunwoo still seemed slightly unnerved nonetheless he walked over to the other side of the chair. It was only Mingyu and Seungkwan standing in the center. Mingyu looked like he wanted to run out of the toolshed yet his legs wouldn’t. He turned to look at Seungkwan only to see the boy’s eyes still fixated on the bloody man.

“Kwannie.” Mingyu said, a little concern with the way his friend’s face is lacking emotion. He desperately wanted his friend to say he couldn’t do this yet as Seungkwan turned to him, the boy’s eyes were ice cold, lips curling into an emotionless smile.

“He did say that he wanted to die.”

Seungkwan took hold of Mingyu’s hand. “Jaehyun is right...we’ve to take out trash, Gyu.It’s the only way.” He pressed a kiss to the taller boy's cheeks, whispering into his ear. “Don’t you trust me?” Honestly he’s a little surprised at the words coming out of his mouth.

Mingyu stared into his friend's blank eyes, a little scared with the sudden change in Seungkwan’s behavior. “I-I dunno kwannie.”

“You heard Jae, everything is gonna be alright.”

Mingyu nodded his head as he squeezed his friend’s hand. They both joined Jaehyun and Eunwoo and now all of them are circled around Sangjun. None of them had second thoughts as hammers were being smashed down on flesh and the sound of screaming echoing throughout the toolshed. The four of them did this for different reasons; one wanted revenge. One was deeply in love with a friend and will do anything for him. One wasn’t sure why agreed to do this. And there was one who completely lost sense of who he was as a person. When it was over, the four boys covered in blood were panting heavily. It was almost as if he broke out of the trance he was in and realized what he just did,Seungkwan suddenly backed away getting ready to run out of the tools shed when he felt a firm grip on his wrist.

“Where the fuck are you going?” Jaehyun asked coldly. The calm demeanor he displayed was completely gone, replaced with fury. “We’ve to bury his body.”

“I-I need fresh air. P-please let me g-”

Jaehyun yanked the boy’s wrist back over to Sangjun’s limp. “You’re not going anywhere until we bury him. Do you understand?”

Seungkwan hung his head low, the tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. He felt a hand gripped his chin as he was forced to look at the boy with the wild maniac look in his eyes.

“How many fucking times have I told you to look at me.” Jaehyun said coldly. “Me and Eunwoo are going outside to get the shovels and when I come back, you better get it together. Do I make myself clear?” 

“Y-yes.” Seungkwan said weakly. Once Jaehyun and Eunwoo are gone, there’s an eerily silence in the air. He turned his back to Sangjun's bloody lifeless body and Mingyu who looked speechless at the body. 

Seungkwan felt awful. He wanted to cry so why couldn’t he? The fact he couldn’t feel anything is scaring him. He’s scared of the person he’s becoming. 

***

“And after that the next day we went back to school. Back to our daily routines as if nothing happened.” Seungkwan said quietly. “That’s all we could do.” 

Minghao is tightly holding a slightly shaking Seungkwan in his arms. He knew the other wasn’t done yet. “You say you killed two people..”

Seungkwan squeezed his eyes, laying his head on Minghao’s chest. “The other one was...more personal.”

*** **September 17, 2008** ***

Seungkwan didn’t speak throughout the car ride to wherever they were going and neither was Jaehyun, who was concentrating on driving. Unlike the previous night, it was just the two of them and a foreboding feeling is overtaking Seungkwan as he stared out the window. Finally Jaehyun parked his car on the side of a narrow road- the same exact road from last night. 

Seungkwan is confused. Why are they here? and why is it just the two of them? 

Jaehyun is already out of the car walking down the clobbered pathway. Seungkwan gets out of the car jogging to catch up with the other. 

“Jae I don’t understand why we're back here? Where’s Eunwoo and Mingyu? Why didn’t they come with us?” After last night, he spent most of the day trying to avoid Jaehyun using extra schoolwork as an excuse. The change in Jaehyun’s behavior left feeling nervous to be around the other. 

Jaehyun sighed. “There was no need to bring them this time. Albert Einstein once said ‘The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.’ You know I think about that quote often, trying to find some deeper hidden meaning behind and I did. The world is divided into two types of people: the cruel monsters who prey upon the innocent and those who turn a blind eye to wrongdoing. After what happened to me, I made a promise to myself that if I couldn’t get rid of all the evil, I’ll try one step at a time.” 

Jaehyun’s not so straightforward answer only made Seungkwan more confused. He didn't know what this had to do with him. They arrived at the toolshed. Jaehyun put his hand on the handle. 

“We’ve to get rid of the evil that still haunts us, Seungkwan. For the greater good.” 

When Jaehyun opened the door, that's when Seungkwan realized why he was here. He let out a small gasp. 

Right in the center of the room restrained by rope striped down to nothing but his boxers and a pointy-like choker pierced at his neck is a man he thought he would never see again. 

“Yejun.” Seungkwan breathed, his eyes can’t believe he’s looking at the man who he thought loved him. He turned to Jaehyun. 

“I-I don’t understand.” 

“It’s quite simple.” Jaehyun said calmly. “You see Choi Yejun, just like Sangjun, is a pedophile. He’s part of a pedophile ring that poses as school administrators at schools to get closer to minors,specifically boys. Choi Yejun isn’t even his real name, he has aliases of names and different records which explains why it’s so easy for him to pass background checks, am I right Yejun?” 

“Seungkwan...please don’t listen to him.” Yejun begged. Unlike Sungjae, his body doesn’t bore any physical trauma but that didn’t change the terror in his eyes. “He’s lying.” 

“Lying am I.” Jaehyun said quietly. “I have nothing to lie about, unlike you.” He reached into the black duffel bag pulling out a knife. He slid the edge of the knife on Yejun’s right cheek who was panicking in the chair. “You're full of lies, aren’t you.” 

Jaehyun walked behind Seungkwan, wrapping his arms around his waist. “He never loved you, kwannie. He only wanted you for one thing. He did it with other boys, not just you. Manipulating you, putting lies into your head. He never cared about you.” 

Seungkwan thought back to the night him and Yejun had sex. How the older man promised to be gentle yet it was the complete opposite. Seungkwan felt pain. He told Yejun it hurted but the man didn’t care. 

“You meant nothing to him.” Jaehyun whispered into Seungkwan’s ear, placing the knife in his hands. “You were just a play thing to him.” He helped Seungkwan to walk forward. Gently guided his hand with the knife, pointing it directly at Yejun’s heart. 

Seungkwan stared down at the frightening man. “Is this true? Is everything he is telling me true?” He whispered. 

“N-no k-kwannie please please.” Yejun wailed. “Your father wouldn’t like it if he knew his son was a murd-“ 

“Don’t fucking dare talk about my father, you monster.” Seungkwan screamed, a rage like any other filling up inside of him. 

“Do it baby. Stab him in the place where he hurted you the most.” Jaehyun said softly into Seungkwan’s ear.

Seungkwan thought about what Jaehyun said. 

_“He never loved you”_

_“He only wanted you for one thing”_

Seungkwan blinked back the tears that were threatened to fall. 

_“He did it with other boys, not just you”_

That’s when he jabbed the knife straight into Yejun’s heart watching as blood gushed all over his hand. He pulled the knife out and jabbed it in again and again and again. He ignored Yejun’s screams. He ignored his heavy breathing. He tuned out everything. 

Silence fell as he dropped the bloody knife. His chest rose rapidly as Jaehyun turned him around. For once the boy’s face shows emotion; he’s looking at Seungkwan in such an endearing way, a complete change from his cold demeanor last night. He kissed Seungkwan in such a passionate way and smeared Yejun’s blood on Seungkwan’s cheeks. Seungkwan should be repulsive by this yet he’s so out that he didn’t care about the taste of blood on his lips.

“We are so much alike.” Jaehyun used his blood covered thumb to brush against Seungkwan’s bottom lip. “Both lost fathers at an early age. Both were taken advantage by cruel monsters. We are one.” 

Seungkwan stared into those cold emotionless eyes and it felt like he was looking into a mirror. Maybe Jaehyun is right.

They were psychopaths living in a world full of evil. 

***

Minghao allowed Seungkwan to sob on his chest until his shirt was soaked. Finally Seungkwan calmed down as he sat up and wiped his eyes. 

“Oh my god you must think I’m a awful person. I’m so fucking messed up.”

Minghao took hold of the other’s wrist, softy rubbing them. “First, you’re not a horrible person and second there’s nothing messed up about you.”

“But I killed two people, Hao. I did that and felt nothing.” Seungkwan croaked. “I’m a psychopath. I don’t deserve to be loved by anyone especially by someone like you so I-I understand if you break up with me.”

Minghao pulled Seungkwan into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Are you crazy? Why would I want to break up with someone as amazing as you. Seungkwan please listen to me.” He turned his boyfriend around, wiping the remaining tears away from his red puffy eyes. “I have actually encountered psychopaths and I can say you definitely aren’t you one.”

Seungkwan shook his head. He didn’t want to listen to this. Listen to Minghao say things about him that aren’t true. “You don’t understand.” he said in a small voice. “Sometimes it feels like there’s this darkness in me that I can’t control and it scares me so much.” 

“Seungkwan there’s no darkness in you and all these other things you're talking about are just in your head. You have to listen to me carefully please.” He put his hands on Seungkwan’s cheeks. “The Boo Seungkwan I know is a caring, kind hearted person who deserves all the love in the world. You’re full of so much emotion. The fact you cried about what you did proves that, something a psychopath person wouldn’t do. As for the murders, while you think what you did was a bad thing, it really wasn’t. Those men were monsters who hurted kids and in some way you may have saved other kids from ending up in that same fate.” 

“Just because people do horrible things doesn’t mean they deserve to die.” Seungkwan said,looking down at his and Minghao’s intertwined hands.

“Unfortunately sometimes they do.” Minghao said softly. “One time a client, a woman, asked me to kill her step husband after she found out he was raping her daughter. So do you think he deserved to live? Do you think I was in the wrong?” He brushed his thumb against Seungkwan’s cheek. 

“No.” Seungkwan said quietly. “No you weren’t.”

“The world is full of evil people and in some circumstances death is the only option for those people. It’s inevitable.” He knew Seungkwan was still scared, that any words of comfort he wanted to provide wouldn’t do much good. So instead he pressed a kiss to the other’s forehead. “I know you still think what you did was wrong but Seungkwan I want you to remember these words that I’m about to tell you- it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t.”

Seungkwan simply nodded and sighed as he laid back down on Minghao, using a finger to draw a circle on the man’s golden skin. “I’m sorry for reacting the way I did back back at the warehouse.”

Minghao rubbed his back. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have told you to come. There’s something I want to ask you.”

Seungkwan lifted his head and saw the serious expression on his boyfriend’s friend. “Sure of course.”

“Do you promise that we’ll always be there for each other no matter what. When I say I need you, kwannie I really mean it. I need you so bad. I want to protect you.I love you so much.”

Seungkwan pressed a kiss to Minghao’s lips and stared into those calm eyes. “I promise.”

For the rest of the night both men laid there, one drifted off into peaceful sleep while the other one stayed awake, mind full with unsettling thoughts and more worries he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally had time to read this fic up until now and I know how I'm going to end it( well this part because there's going to be a sequel)
> 
> Just wanna say things are about to get intense and I mean it this time lol. No more happy moments. Well actually there's going be a slight happy moment but y'know...MCD


	54. Author's Note

Due to recent events surrounding Mingyu, I’ve decided to take a hiatus feeling it’s not right to post anymore chapters during this difficult time. While I’m choosing to remain neutral about the situation, I know most of y’all are confused, angry or hurt and that’s understandable. In no way am I invalidating people’s feelings about this serious matter.

Stay safe and take care everyone.


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